Magdalene's Journal: Greif and Strangeness

"That is not dead which can eternal lie, and with strange aeons even death may die."
-H.P.L.

My Cat died this week. His mom has been howling for him .. pining i guess.

He was not the sharpest tool in the shed in some accounts, but he was a good cat. In the 12 years since he came out of her rear end I hand raised him and he was my first 'baby'...Like most siamese he was kinda neurotic about being left alone and was either on my shoulder/lap/stomach or under my arm or leg when i was home.

I am still greiving for him but I have to keep it inside and 'be strong' most of the time for my son, how do you explain death to a 3 year old? In the end it was:

'he went to the cat doctor and the cat doctor said he had to go to where the really sick kitties go and they are better there... but to stay better he has to stay there, so he wont be coming home with us anymore. but he is in a good safe place now and is very happy there because he is feeling better'

at that point i was starting to cry and had to quickly tell him 'i was sad because i was going to be missing Spidey..and it was okay for him to be sad and miss spidey too because he couldnt come home again.' He just said 'NO!' and lightly smacked my hand and changed the subject 'read THIS Mummy!' pointing to a book... his way of coping I guess...

my son's first word was his name, he slept in his crib since he came home from the hospital.

  (lame i know, but a 3 year old just wont understand death, at least that is what the kids help line told me when i called after the vets office and before I got home)

it is truely exausting...

-im not even interested in fifa im that bummed about it.

-Magdalene
it sucks sometimes being the adult

I'm sorry to hear it

[tomhudson]

I know how it feels. I grieved for the original Bear for the longest time (and I still miss him).

Re:I'm sorry to hear it

[Shadow Wrought]

We had to put our Rottie down about a year and ahalf ago and I still get choked up thinking about him. My best prayers and wishes to you and your family.

Take care.

Re:I'm sorry to hear it

[Magdalene]

what sucks the most is I had been up all night as he had gone down fast with supportive care sunday night, with him waiting for our vet to open. He stopped breathing on the way to the vet, I did cpr half way there and managed to bring him back twice, once we got there he stopped breathing again and the vet did NOTHING to try and bring him back. I had brought them up to date on the situation regarding the CPR. . I know they are tight usually but im starting to hate my vet for it. they didnt continue cpr; th