redhead-kitten's Journal: Wow. That could have been me . . .

I just found out that one of the people that I went to school with recently committed suicide.

She had years of problems with alcohol and depression, including several arrests and detox centers. About 4 months ago she went on a binge and drank so much that her blood alcohol level was .52. About 3 weeks ago, a schoolmate had spoken with her and she confessed that she knew that she had another relapse in her, but that she didn't think that she had another recovery in her.

Sure enough, last Saturday, she went on her last drinking binge and woke up in the local county hospital and was to be shipped off to detox once again. Before the van could arrive to take her there, she walked out of the hospital and went to an overpass and jumped. The bottom was about 3 stories below. (I remember hearing about the traffic tie up caused by the accident, but I couldn't find anything in the local web news about it.)

I say, "that could have been me", because I have a history of alcoholism. My wake up call was a DUI in 1994, where I was caught with a .13 blood alcohol level. Instead of wallowing in my pain and the fact that I could no longer drink, I decided that drinking was no longer an option and quit. Cold turkey.

In September, it will be 12 years clean and sober for me.

My life hasn't been a bed of roses since. As a matter of fact, you may remember that I am currently facing a layoff and will be required to find a new job sometime in the future. (we haven't gotten our pink slips yet, just a "target date")

There have been ample opportunities where I thought "if I was a drinking person, this would be a great time to get shit-faced." I have always known that drinking could be my downfall, and if I started, I wouldn't quit. So I just don't drink.

It's one of those things that makes ya go "hmmnn". (and I'm really glad to be me.)

In other news, BBB had surgery to correct his tear duct last Tuesday. He's doing remarkably well at being "out of commission". Aside from being lightheaded and occasionally nauseous, he is healing rather well. The recent heat wave has not been helpful, however.

I thought that keeping the biker down would be a difficult task, but he's being rather graceful about accepting help. He's limited to lifting 2 pounds and cannot bend over at the waist. He also hasn't driven since the operation because of the lightheaded part and he can't wear sunglasses or his eye swells.

Looks like he'll be around to grow old with.

^_^

ugh

[blinder]

that's pretty much all i can think of to say.

12 years, that's pretty good. but, heh, we don't think in terms of years, right? just days.

you are pretty amazing kitten, another one of our super heros.

*HUGS*

[MsWillow]

Hang in there. You've got friends.