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I don't care who you are, this is damn funny

FortKnox (169099) writes | more than 7 years ago

User Journal 6

Yes, its an NFL football topic, but you don't need to know or care about the game to enjoy this. Only football game out there is "Madden"... want to know what its like to be the worst rated player in the game?
Ethan Albright, the worst rated player in madden has a few choice words to say about the subject. Its an open letter to the producers of the game, and Mr.Turducken, himself...Yes, its an NFL football topic, but you don't need to know or care about the game to enjoy this. Only football game out there is "Madden"... want to know what its like to be the worst rated player in the game?
Ethan Albright, the worst rated player in madden has a few choice words to say about the subject. Its an open letter to the producers of the game, and Mr.Turducken, himself...

6 comments

Fuck me sideways with a lunchbox (1)

rk (6314) | more than 7 years ago | (#16513047)

I just about wet myself reading this. Damn!

"If Ted Washington tied a white lady up and made her wear a metal bikini, he'd look just like Jabba the Hut."

I think there's a couple busted capillaries on my face I laughed so hard.

Sadly (1)

sielwolf (246764) | more than 7 years ago | (#16514687)

It's fake. Someone wrote it after the Page 2 expose' into Albright. Still funny tho.

Re:Sadly (1)

FortKnox (169099) | more than 7 years ago | (#16515955)

Bah... that's sad. I was truely hoping it was real, but figured the dude's agent probably would shit a seal if he saw that...

Best lines (1)

ellem (147712) | more than 7 years ago | (#16514711)

I wake up in the morning, helplessly shit and piss myself, then lose three of my teeth before I discover that I am trying to eat a rock for breakfast.

Electronic Arts is saying that seven rating points separate me and the breathing embodiment of the perfect oxymoron. Rod Smart struggled to arrange words in sentence form. Cave men had better hold of the English language. The only actions that separate point values of ignorance at this embarrassing level are things like using your own toothbrush to wipe your ass. I basically edged out Rod by my lack of shit teeth. If I take a night school class, could you bump me up to a 60?

A session of tossing the pigskin usually consists of me missing my son by thirty yards in sporadic directions. I led him in front of a fire truck once and my wife kicked my ass. This is because of my 76 toughness rating. Yes, a 76 is far better than the other ratings, but I'm a fucking lineman, damn it. NFL Linemen are considered to be synonymous with toughness. According to your game, I am a retarded, uncoordinated, pussy-ass fuckwad that can't fall on a kickoff, throw, or spell.
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