Journal SexyKellyOsbourne's Journal: I got a life, and now it burns when I pee! 2
People kept telling me to "get a life" and quit doing things like writing stupid things on slashdot, and I felt alone, sad, and sorry for myself -- and just before I pulled the trigger on the shotgun in my mouth, I broke away from hitting the refresh button to get first posts, hopped in my car, and headed downtown.
I went to the White Swallows Bath House, and raped a homosexual -- a member of the local LUG -- by pinning his skinny nerd body down with my fat ass and slopping my cunt all up and down his dick, which was made hard by shooting up his blue vein with crushed viagra mixed with saline solution. Though he was really small, I rode him till I almost fainted, and it was so good.
He was in tears, and was lisping on about how I violated him with my fishy fuck hole and smashed his pelvic arches, but I was totally satisfied. However, a few days later, I came down with a fever, developed these painful sores inside my twat, and it feels like I'm pissing razorblades whenever I go!
I don't have health insurance, so it'll just pass, right? This isn't permanent, is it?
You are one HOT chubby. (Score:1)
Sugestion. (Score:2)
Fail that, stand on your head and have someone hold your feet with one hand, and then stick a funnel in your stankhole with the other. Procede to pour in viniger until its full, then wrap ducttape all over it to seal it up. spin, shake, jump, do whatever you can. If theres a carnival around, try riding a few rides to help mix it all up. Leave it in there for about 2 months and everything should be fine. Yes, two months without anything in you might suck, but for pleasure I suggest taking the edge of the bible(Preferably the morman bible) and hitting your clit with it.