blinder's Journal: What's In The Red Folder?

anyway, like i was saying, we've lived in this place now for just over a year and there's something that has been bothering me.

in fact, it was just on this past thanksgiving that i shared this bewilderment with trmj and buffer-overflowed. trmj had a "meh" sort of attitude, but buffer, i think, quickly adopted my frustration.

and what frustration is that? what the fuck is in the red fucking folder!

since the day we moved in, this red folder has taunted us (er, well, maybe just me).

its there, gawking out that office window.

solemn has a theory, she believes it's contents is a list of people who have come around wondering what was in the red folder. i'm in inclined to agree with that theory, but until i know for sure, there will be a huge question mark in my mind.

for your extended consideration, i have uploaded a second photo so as to provide some context... a "bigger picture" as it were.

i mean, these pictures were taken out our front window (which i should say are 14' tall and expand 2/3 of the front of the loft we live in) so its not like its this little tiny insignifcant "thing." this is huge! damnit! what is in that folder? does the person in that office ever wonder whats in it? do they ever use it? can they even see it? can you see it? i know buffer could. it intrigued him, as if he fell under some kind of spell. is it a magic folder? ethelred? did you conjur this folder as part of your world dominiation plan? i need answers people! and fast.

It contains

[Jeremiah Cornelius]

Blurry photographs.

Sounds oddly familiar...

[Otter]

I can't reach your link (DNS error) but this sounds oddly like the red folder [littlegreenfootballs.com] that sat in an unchanging stack of paperwork on Yasser Arafat's desk for something like a year and a half...

I have a guess.

[Talinom]

Knowing that it is a red folder and that people will naturally assume that it contains something important they will want to steal it. It is through this method that the office achieves security.

What is in the folder is every conspiracy theory ever set forth in this world. It has dates, known facts, names, eyewitness accounts, photographs, contact information.

In the gray folder right beside it are the answers.

The locations

[Red Warrior]

of the bodies.

They are the codes....

[FortKnox]

.... the ones that will save humanity in case of 'the event'.

An actual-size map

[smittyoneeach]

Of the US. Folded very carefully.

So that is across the street?

[Degrees]

Looks like an office building - is that across the street?

I'm not used to spaces where "work" spaces are so close to "residential" spaces. Weird. But then we don't really have tall apartment buildings, either.

We have a red binder at work. It contains the disaster recovery plan.

Does this help? You have The Plan for the Post-Apocalypse sitting only feet from you....

;-)

Re:

[blinder]

yes, we'll have to take more pictures. basically we live in a very new area, in cambridge mass, right at the edge of the MIT campus... its surrounded by bio-tech research companies (like novartis). its a mixture of high-end apartments and bio-tech all mixed together... in an area called university park.

its a very cool, very upwardly mobile type area we live in, and is one of the centers of revitalization happening in cambridge (the area is called "central square" and is undergoing some rapid gentrification,

can you tell it's a folder for sure?

[subgeek]

are you sure it isn't the ugly red book that won't fit on a shelf [google.com]? this could be your chance to stop someone from causing an e-co-log-i-cal catastrophe.

Isn't it amazing

[Marxist Hacker 42]

That the idea of PRIVACY in PUBLIC has become so extreme in our country that neither of you have thought to walk over to the office in question and ask?

Re:

[blinder]

/sigh

why does everything have to be an issue? huh? what is it? can't anything just be silly without a point?

Re:

[Marxist Hacker 42]

For me- well, no. I don't really understand silly. I laugh at it sometimes, but it's more of a carefully calculated social reaction to reduce tension than a spontaneous "oh that's silly" response. I have a tendency to look at the silly as a response to an overly oppressive society; like a city dweller visiting a zoo and gawking at such mundane animals as sheep and cows and chickens.

That's MUCH more a failing in ME than in YOUR telling of the joke...

Re:

[SolemnDragon]

To be very blunt about it: *IF* it is possible that someone can just waltz over to the biotech lab in question, make their way in the front door without knowing anyone in the building (let alone being an employee or expected visitor) and then find their way to the appropriate office to examine what's in a random sample of their paperwork without arousing suspicion, then frankly, i'm going to sleep a hell of a lot better at night if i don't know about it.

Believe me, it was a conscious decision.

Re:

[Marxist Hacker 42]

Where I'm an old school hacker- and believe that freedom of information is a better way to run a society. Both true and false information. If I was that biolab, that red folder in the window would contain, down to the last chemical, the formula for baby powder- labeled Anthrax.

Sadly

[IamBMETammy]

It only contains recipes the office inhabitant has printed out instead of working. The plan is to work for a few more years to save up enough to open up a theme restaurant.

Are you blonde?

[GMontag]

The answer is obvious. The folder is filled with old-school porn.

Move a long now, nothing to see here.