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Are you ever afraid that your geekiness will doom you?

perfessor multigeek (592291) writes | more than 7 years ago

Enlightenment 5

So, we've all seen the article and discussion about Cap'n Crunch.I want to know, did any of you read the article and think "that could be me if I really f*ck up?" I know that I did.So, we've all seen the article and discussion about Cap'n Crunch.I want to know, did any of you read the article and think "that could be me if I really f*ck up?" I know that I did.

Sure, we're not all unbathed, mood swing crippled, toothless old guys pursuing an unending stream of underage boys, but, AFAICT, we're not exactly socially flawless either. Now, like a lot of us, I don't believe that society should be so narrow in its range of acceptable behavior and I know that the narrowing range of acceptable ways to work was part of what drove me out of the corporate world.

But otoh, I think that many of us could be more accomodating if we chose to. I certainly know that I could. And I am well aware that there's nothing like systematic perceived rejection by society to encourage the sorts of hostile, self-indulgent behavior that so characterizes Draper. Adding that to early acclaim without concurrent structured chances to use those gifts makes for a truly toxic stew, one that gets viler the longer it brews.

So, jump on in, folks, do you ever worry that your antisocial tendencies and social cluelessness could eventually wreck you?


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That's one reason I found myself a wife (1)

spun (1352) | more than 7 years ago | (#17634088)

She puts up with my antisocial tendencies, makes sure I'm groomed and dressed in non-embarassing clothing, and schedules social interaction with our friends that I might otherwise forget. In return I do all the cooking and driving and put up with her insecurity, anxiety and mood swings.

Romantic love is an overrated reason for marriage. At best it's a luxury for people more secure in themselves and their place in the world than I. At worst, a hormonal delusion designed to encourage the overlooking of faults in potential mates. I'm more about having a partner who has my back, and vice versa.

Re:That's one reason I found myself a wife (1)

gmhowell (26755) | more than 7 years ago | (#17637954)

Bleh. And then one day, she grows tired of your shit and runs back home to mommy and daddy.

I hope your marriage works out. Sounds vaguely familiar to me. But yeah, romantic love? No thanks.

Re:That's one reason I found myself a wife (1)

spun (1352) | more than 7 years ago | (#17638504)

Seven years and going stronger than ever. It's been years since she ran home to mommy and daddy. Maybe it's not a perfect marriage, but we both do our damndest to create a safe haven for each other, and to me, that's what marriage is all about.

Re:That's one reason I found myself a wife (1)

gmhowell (26755) | more than 7 years ago | (#17639386)

Well, at seven years, you're about six weeks longer than we lasted:) I'm not disparaging marriage, I'm just even more cynical than usual since this past August. Congratulations, and good luck in the future.

Re:That's one reason I found myself a wife (1)

perfessor multigeek (592291) | more than 7 years ago | (#17638302)

The problem is that we're no longer supposed to admit that we would want to get married for such a reason. It seems that we've reached an interesting double standard these days. Women, especially young women, are quite free to say that they are seeking a more interdependant, in some ways traditional marriage but any guy other than an already written off frat boy neanderthal who says that he wants the same thing is pilloried. In public, at least.

I consider this issue very much on topic because while I don't doubt that issues from the possible increase in organic causes of Aspergers to absentee parents to breathtaking entry salaries have all made these problems more prevalent, part of what makes them harder to address is a massive rigidification of norms for jobs, home, etc.

Every manager is expected to be capable at paperwork. This is a new thing and I for one found it crippling.

Just about every non-medical kind of senior diagnostician is expected to be able to drive. Same as above.

Everybody in a responsible position in most companies is expected to be both able to put in twelve hour days for extended periods and stay at work until whenever the hell. But those same professionals are expected to be able to keep to a 9:00 A.M. arrival time every day.
My body simply can't do that. I've had doctors tell me that if I keep trying I'll die. In two or three years, mind you, not from some vaugue faraway stress-related complex. I can work long hours. Longer in some ways then most. But I NEED breaks. I need that few hours of real sleep.
But these days insisting on five hours of sleep after days of getting by is considered no more of less than evidence of insufficient "team spirit".

More and more rating of job competency is done on the basis of being a good "team player" and by now plenty of studies have shown that just about any deviation from local norms, from religious attitudes to favored forms of entertainment, to style of dress work against that.

"Sure, Bob, we're real glad that you designed half of the components in the project and saved the company several million dollars but you never join us in the meeting Simpsons jokes, so you'll just have to go. Rajiv here doesn't know durometer data from IP numbers but he runs the office football pool and is a really swell guy so he'll be taking your place. At, of course, an increase over your salary since we like him better."

People are expected to live cookie-cutter lives to suit organizations and social dynamics that don't merit that level of commitment.

Now, admittedly, I've been mostly in NYC, which is worse than most of the country for some of this, but I think that my general point holds.

I am not bloody well "typical" and a world that requires that of me is one that has shut me out.

If I didn't have the resources I do outside of "the normal modern world" I might very well doomed to a fate very much like Draper's.
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