Cervantes's Journal: Jokes!

God, speaking to one of his underlings after the creation of the earth is pointing at some of its wonders. God says, "oh, and this is Canada, it will have a democratic and peacefull native people, it will have unequalled natural beauty, Mountains, seashore, Wild places like nowhere else... later, a great nation will be formed there. One of peace, tolerance, dialogue and understanding. They will not make wars with their enemies, they will appeal to man's good nature. They will care and respect one another. These Canadians will have the respect of other great peoples, but be humble and honest -- respectfull and mindfull of the virtue of others.

to which, God's pion replies "Well, I wonder God, Is it wise bestowing all these great gifts on a single place -- on a single people?"

God replies "well, its not as simple as it looks, wait until the you see the Assholes I put next to them.
   

Another one

[Cervantes]

A cowboy meets an Indian and says to him: "Hey, you have a
very nice dog. Do you mind if I talk to him?"

"Dog no talk," replies the Indian.

The cowboy: "Hey dog, how are you doing?"

"I'm doing just fine," replies the dog,

The Indian is shocked. The cowboy: "Is this Indian treating
you well?"

Dog: "Yes, he is. He feeds me, he takes me for a walk, and
he plays with me."

Cowboy to the Indian: "Do you mind if I talk to your
horse?"

Indian: "Horse no talk."

Cowboy: "Hey horse, how're you doing?"

Horse: "Doing just fine, thanks."

Cowboy: "Is this Indian treating you well?"

Horse: "Yes, he is. He rides me, he feeds me, and brushes
me down all the time."

Cowboy to the Indian: "Do you mind if I talk to your
sheep?"

Indian: "Sheep lie."

Another one...

[Cervantes]

"Did you know I have an irrational fear of palindromes?"
"You have aibohphobia?"
"AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGG!! !!!!"

Another one...

[Cervantes]

My uncle used to own a nightclub. They did great business, and had all sorts of acts. Comediens, singers, dancers, performers, illusionists, poets... it was going great, until the night the hypnotist knocked over his glass of water and muttered "Shit" while half the audience was under.

Another one...

[Cervantes]

My uncle used to own a nightclub. It was doing great, and had lots of varied acts. Dancers, singers, poets, comediens... it was going great, until the night when the hypnotist had half the audience under when he knocked his glass of water over and muttered "Shit!"...

I like your list of sigs....

[EnlightenmentFan]

...and your Canada joke.

Re:I like your list of sigs....

[Cervantes]

Thanks! =) Glad someone took the time to browse my journal. =)

Re:I like your list of sigs....

[aWalrus]

How about my current one? (see below). Not originally mine, but made me laugh when I saw it.
--

Re:I like your list of sigs....

[Cervantes]

One of my favorites was: There are 10 types of people in this world. People who understand binary, and those who don't.

And, of course: There are five types of people in this world. There used to be four, but then I finally found some guy who looked like my thumb.

There are two kinds of people in the world...

[EnlightenmentFan]

* those with good memories
* and --uh--damn!

What do you get when you put a baby in a blender?

[wheany]

An erection.