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Do You Think I'm a Troll?

SexyKellyOsbourne (606860) writes | more than 11 years ago

User Journal 33

.

.

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33 comments

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Good! (1)

SavingPrivateNawak (563767) | more than 11 years ago | (#4633430)

You start asking yourself some questions!

Maybe one day you'll stop being a nazi too!

*Stomps boot, raises arm* (2)

SexyKellyOsbourne (606860) | more than 11 years ago | (#4634007)

Nein!

Re:*Stomps boot, raises arm* (1)

SavingPrivateNawak (563767) | more than 11 years ago | (#4634766)

To answer your question: Yes you are a troll

You said it yourself, you simply respond in opposite to whatever external stimuli or valid opinions you receive

That said, being a troll is not gonna help you with your pitiful meaningless existence
A boyfriend/girlffriend should be a good start... Maybe he/she won't help you with your pseudo-nihilism but he/she will certainly be able to comfort you.

No one loves me, I have AIDS (2)

SexyKellyOsbourne (606860) | more than 11 years ago | (#4636316)

And the answer was "Albuquerque!"

Get a JOB you pretentious, lazy nazi whore!!!! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#4635718)

But I like shooting up heroin! (2)

SexyKellyOsbourne (606860) | more than 11 years ago | (#4636298)

Choose life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family, Choose a fucking big television, Choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players, and electrical tin openers.

Choose good health, low cholesterol and dental insurance. Choose fixed-interest mortgage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends.

Choose leisure wear and matching luggage. Choose a three piece suite on hire purchase in a range of fucking fabrics. Choose DIY and wondering who you are on a Sunday morning. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing sprit-crushing game shows, stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pishing you last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked-up brats you have spawned to replace yourself. Choose your future. Choose life.

But why would I want to do a thing like that?

I chose not to choose life: I chose something else. And the reasons? There are no reasons. Who need reasons when you've got heroin?

Of course you are a troll. (2)

Prince_Ali (614163) | more than 11 years ago | (#4639312)

And one of the better ones at that. Of course people mod you up when you post something that gives their own stupid beliefs a handjob. It isn't like they will check their facts because they want to believe. That homeless/plane troll was nice. It is complete idiocy without a toe in reality and it is at +5. Anyone who has been paying attention knows you're a troll, but it is not enough to negate the slashbots who will mod-up any sort of tripe that sounds good. Maybe they think you will fuck them? They would be so disappointed when they find that you have a penis. They would probably go for it though.

Thanks! (2)

SexyKellyOsbourne (606860) | more than 11 years ago | (#4641437)

That's very true -- everything posted early on slashdot nowadays is either modded up to +5 or -1 with almost no inbetweens. One could post the fucking meaning of life on slashdot, but if it were done after the first 40 posts, it would get no moderation. Metamoderation, or editor fake-metamoderation usually gets me, though, but if I drop below excellent karma, I can repair it in an instant. People mentioning that I'm a troll also seems to give me a little hit -- though I don't really monitor closely -- but they usually give it up after a day or two.

Too bad I forgot to mention that I would also have jet engines and guidance systems installed in the planes, and have them sent like missiles into skyscrapers so that Arab invaders can set up a pure Islamic state. It would be a thousand 9/11's in one day, while boatloads and planeloads of Arabs armed with AK-47's overrun our nuked and gassed army bases.

What makes you think I have a penis, though? Even if I were a guy, and/or if I had a penis, I would probably masturbate it constantly instead of post on slashdot. However, I still would have the libido to use sex as a tool for karma whoring.

Every time a slashbot sees kelly.jpg [kellyosbourne.com] , I'm sure a dribble of pre-cum trickles out their miniscule pubic-hair shrouded penises.

Re:Thanks! (2)

Prince_Ali (614163) | more than 11 years ago | (#4642902)

I just assumed because trolling is a male dominated sport.

Just a hunch. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#4648828)

But I think your trolling days will come to an end sooner than later. CT

B.G.A.T. ****TROLL ALERT**** (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#4648850)

B.G.A.T.(Billy Goats Against Trolls) is proud to announce that SexyKellyOsbourne has made our most wanted list. Normally it is pretty hard for us to prove our case against such people. But Ms. Osbourne has taken special care to ensure that the world knows she is a troll. Example #1 Right from her own journal [slashdot.org] . As much as B.G.A.T. would like to take credit for this, it does all come right from the trolls mouth!That one wasn't enough to convince you. How about This one? [slashdot.org] And then there is this one [slashdot.org] . She has also taken a moment to tell her something about herself [slashdot.org] . A quick glance at her posting History tells it all. Here is one of my favorites [slashdot.org] . Just have a look at the people on her FOE LIST [slashdot.org] . She has to go! So please take this time to spend just one mod point to keep this genital wart on society out of sight. MOD HER DOWN AS A TROLL!!!! Not because I said so, but remeber she is a self confesed troll.

Re:Thanks! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#4649513)

Oh -- I see. Now are you the trailer trash in the picture, or some other trailer trash?

Re:Thanks! (1)

Pave Low (566880) | more than 11 years ago | (#4652233)

Hi, every time you troll, i jerk off to it, and God kills a kitten.

will you please suck my cock and save the kittens?

Thanks!

I hate the taste of that stuff... (2)

SexyKellyOsbourne (606860) | more than 11 years ago | (#4662276)

But a handjob will suffice, won't it? Or will God kill a kitten for that, too?

Re:I hate the taste of that stuff... (1)

Pave Low (566880) | more than 11 years ago | (#4664316)

Actually, i think there's something written in the bible about not spilling your seed.

So unless i can ejaculate inside you, kittens will still die.

Re:Thanks! (1)

archeopterix (594938) | more than 11 years ago | (#4653428)

Every time a slashbot sees kelly.jpg[kellyosbourne.com], I'm sure a dribble of pre-cum trickles out their miniscule pubic-hair shrouded penises.
What? I have not masturbated to those cheap perfume ads since I found my mom's mail order lingerie catalogue.

Another yes (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#4649556)

Yes on troll. Or maybe trailer trash. Can't decide.

What was that reference to "tar babies" in your profile? Let's just go with "trash."

I know, you love the abuse. It's more attention than you'd get anywhere else.

TROLL THIS BITCH!!! (0)

Kip Diamond (620384) | more than 11 years ago | (#4656383)

YEAH! I saw sparks fly, from the corner of my eye
And when I turned, it was love at first sight
I said please excuse me, I didn't catch your name
Oh it'd be a shame not to see you again
And just when I thought she was comin' to my door
She whispered sweet and brought me to the floor, she said
I'm only seventeen, but I'll show you love like you've never seen
She's only seventeen, daddy says she's too young, but she's old enough for me
Come to my place, we can talk it over, oh everything going down in your head
She said take it easy, I need some time, time to work it out, to make you mine
And just when I thought she was comin' to my door
She whispered sweet and brought me to the floor, she said
I'm only seventeen, you ain't seen love, ain't seen nothing like me
She's only seventeen, seventeen
(Solo)
Such a bad girl, loves to work me overtime
Feels good (ha), dancin' close to the borderline
She's a magic mountain, she's a leather glove
Oh she's my soul, it must be love
She's only seventeen, still she gives me love, like I've never seen
She's only seventeen, daddy says she's too young, but she's old enough for me
She's everything I need, daddy says she's too young
But she's old enough, old enough for me

You're my hero. (2)

Yakman (22964) | more than 11 years ago | (#4657730)

I love you SexyKellyOsbourne! You amuse me greatly.

Yes, you're a troll. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#4688675)

I don't even know myself if I'm a troll anymore -- though I fancy myself as one sometimes, since it's in my nature to play pranks on people, just like the Lemon Party does.

Umm, no, you are a troll dear. A devils advocate would be trying to make people think, but you're just seeking attention, and that brief feeling of superiority you get when people fall for it.

I feel as if I hold no actual beliefs, and I simply respond in opposite to whatever external stimuli or valid opinions I receive, perhaps due to the pseudo-nihilism and cynicism of my generation.

OK, lose the psycho-babble and the socio-babble and what is left? A weak-willed little girl (or boy, as the case may be) with no principles. Not too surprising, really, but certainly not healthy either.

I also have a vivid imagination, nevertheless, and like to post fictional stories of how toxic gas clouds from burning computers wipe out all the pets in a neighborhood, and even make up my own imaginary person. Does it really matter, however, if what I post is real or not, as long as it somehow contributes to the existence of conversation itself?

It wouldn't if you presented it as fiction. But that wouldn't give you the opportunity to enjoy that brief feeling of superiority I mentioned earlier would it?

I am now locked in an existential quandary, full of loathing and self-doubt, and wracked with the pain and isolation of my pitiful meaningless existence... isn't there some place somewhere that's supposed to bring me comfort or something?

Yes. It's your centre. That place you're always running away from. What are you afraid of?

You know, you remind me of an ex from a long time back. Last I saw her she was tending bar at the dirtiest shithole in that particular city, faking an accent and pretending to be Russian. Pretty sad, really, that her life was so empty she felt she had to make shit up all the time in order to bear it. I feel sorry for her, but at the same time, she is the one that put herself there. She always ran away from anything that might have saved her from that emptiness, eventually. I knocked myself out for years trying to help her, but eventually I learned my lesson - you can't help someone that doesn't want to be helped.

Anyway, yes, you are a troll, and regardless of how much of what you post about yourself is true and how much is just more invented shit, I am sure your life is pretty sad. And I'm also sure that, unless you decide to make the effort to change that, you'll stay that way.

And I'll continue to be mildly amused by you at times, mildly annoyed at others, but for the most part, I'll just go on with my life without knowing or caring about your problems, except when I happen to come across them here on slashdot.

Shalom.

Well Said. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#4688817)

That has got to be the most insightfull look at this person. She (or he) can be quite perplexing. I think thats what keeps people intrested and at the same time what motivates her/him further to be the annoying shit-starter he/she is. Good luck to you SKO. I hope you find yourself.

Re:Yes, you're a troll. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#4688868)

Well, you're a fine one to accuse others of psychobabble. Where did you get your PhD in analysis, good doctor? STFU?

Re:Yes, you're a troll. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#4689999)

Why assume that someone must have a PhD to see through psychobabble and character armouring? It's just not true. It's a skill one gets, if one has the inclination, from interacting with people, regardless of ones profession.

And, on top of that, I do happen to be a working psychologist at one of the oldest universities in the world, but that's really quite irrelevant. If I were a mechanic or a waiter or a musician it wouldn't make the truth of what I wrote any less.

Re:Yes, you're a troll. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#4691334)

I'm making fun of your apparent belief that from a few jokey posts you can obtain deep understanding of that person's motivations. If you're going to complain about 'psychobabble' you should lay off the amateur psychoanalysis yourself.

I have a question (-1)

xdfgf (460453) | more than 11 years ago | (#4688820)

Will you kiss me where it smells?

I'll eat your butt if you like...

Or i could paste gay porn

Your choice

A request (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#4688906)

Kelly, can you please work this story [cnn.com] into one of your performances? I thought for sure it would be all over Slashdot when I first saw it but it has been sadly neglected.

A fan

no you are not a troll (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#4689767)

trolling is a liberal myth, invented by slashbots. You simply bring up good, important points in an original manner. People who claim you are a troll suffer from their own deep self-hatred of themselves and feel the need to take it out on others. Don't worry! In time, those people will all commit suicide or lead miserable lives. Keep it up.

-goatpigsheep (currently banned due to nazi moderators who do not understand my intelligent points and lable ME a troll)

Prepare for deep submergence (1)

Love-Wine-Revolution (627056) | more than 11 years ago | (#4693455)

Miss Osbourne (it is Miss, isn't it?), I just thought I'd tell you that you've inspired me to become a troll. What you do is the closest thing to a work of art any of us are going to see at Slashdot, and if I can be even half as good as you, then I'll be able to sleep at night a happy boy.

Having said that, giving PhysicsScholar that number was just plain nasty. Unless that really was your number, and you just happen to live at the party headquarters...

You actually called it? (2)

SexyKellyOsbourne (606860) | more than 11 years ago | (#4694701)

HAHAHA... that's the phone number I always give out when I do so, as it's yet another troll. It meant nothing against PhysicsScholar, though -- he's awesome, and I'll still have his baby, even though I gave out a troll phone number.

Oh, and thank you! I wish you luck, too: may you have many inane responses, may your karma stay at 45-50 (Excellent), and may 20 mod points+ be burned on each post you make.

As far as real artwork goes, I wish Klerck or someone else could once again find out how to post ASCII Goatse, though the FP NIGZ/fuck you ascii isn't bad, either.

Of course not! (1)

Love-Wine-Revolution (627056) | more than 11 years ago | (#4695485)

Of course I didn't call it, you big goose you :0)

Besides for being (much like yourself) not a resident of the United States, there was no need, seeing as you didn't follow LWRs Number One Rule Of Telephone Number Trolling - never leave the number in a format that can be found by Google! Search for "(734)-729-1702", and the American Nazi Party lights up like a Negro Jew at a Klan party. Might I suggest switching to the much less recognizable "[734] 72 91702", which instead returns quite a few government sites?

While I've got your attention, Miss Osbourne, might I ask your opinion on my first troll? I just got home, and needed something light and simple (I didn't want to get too complicated too early on), so I opted for the following extremely subtle change:
http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=45320&cid=4695 443 [slashdot.org] . Those Ticketmaster folks...and people accuse Microsoft of overcharging!

Oh well, must go make tea, but it's been nice chatting!

Love-Wine-Revolution

Nice try... (2)

SexyKellyOsbourne (606860) | more than 11 years ago | (#4698360)

But they'll unfortunately mod you down if you repost an article from ZDNet, a major news organization (Washington Post), or some other site with a dedicated OC-192 or whatever. I got Anal Cocks by getting to a story on a shit server before it was completely and totally slashdotted (I would have had fp if I didn't), then changed it around subtly, as it was a small article, too.

Don't worry, you'll learn. I at first crashed and burned this account into Terrible karma, then brought it up to Excellent permanently.

I might just do that for the phone number, though.

Keep trollin, trollin', trollin, trollin! (Limp Bizkit, not Rawhide)

B.G.A.T. ****TROLL ALERT**** (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#4695965)

B.G.A.T.(Billy Goats Against Trolls) is proud to announce that SexyKellyOsbourne has made our most wanted list. Normally it is pretty hard for us to prove our case against such people. But Ms. Osbourne has taken special care to ensure that the world knows she is a troll. Example #1 Right from her own journal [slashdot.org] . As much as B.G.A.T. would like to take credit for this, it does all come right from the trolls mouth!That one wasn't enough to convince you. How about This one? [slashdot.org] And then there is this one [slashdot.org] . She has also taken a moment to tell her something about herself [slashdot.org] . A quick glance at her posting History tells it all. Here is one of my favorites [slashdot.org] . Just have a look at the people on her FOE LIST [slashdot.org] . She has to go! So please take this time to spend just one mod point to keep this genital wart on society out of sight. MOD HER DOWN AS A TROLL!!!! Not because I said so, but remeber she is a self confesed troll.

IMHO (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#4695970)

SexyKellyOsbourne is one Trolling Ass Slut, but IANAFP (Finger Pointer). :P
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