Journal Ethelred Unraed's Journal: Measuring Ethelredness 9
In another Slashdot discussion, IamBMETammy asks what the measure of a man is.
I was kind enough to provide an answer, but she apparently wanted to order a brochure with further information, because she asks (and I answer) as follows:
How does one measure Ethelredness factor? Or is it only visible to the enlightened (ie: Ethelred).
Essentially it is the futile attempt to compare the hawtttness of a given mortal male to my own glory, and assign a number to it.
I begin to be curious how other men on
What a silly question. They don't.
of course I also wonder what the scale is.
From null to Ethelred.
Is this a 0.02 out of 1? or 100? Is it even possible for the pathetic flesh of a human to contain an Ethelred factor of over 5 without exploding?
The sole time anyone actually got over 0.03, the person nearly died in a spontaneous combustion.
Remember when Michael Jackson's hair blew up in a Pepsi commercial? That's what happened. And now look at what's left of him.
Thus only I am capable of containing pure Ethelredness in my person while not causing thermonuclear explosions (except in the throbbing hearts of adoring women-folk).
At this point I would smell my armpit, but I would run the risk of falling madly, totally in love with myself. (Not that this has happened already.)
Lyin' Bastard (Score:2)
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For it is I!!! TVGM (Score:2)
In what way is Ethelredness the same as.... (Score:2)
so (Score:2)
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No no no no. He tried increasing his Ethelredness* and his mortal frame was unable to handle the stress.
Cheers,
Ethelred
* - What was particularly odd was that he tried to do it by drinking Pepsi.
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Pepsi doesn't even bottle their piss.
What does pepsi bottle? The piss of the dogs of the men who drank the piss of the men who piss coolness.