BrodeCo's Journal: Random Brain Dumping

Sparky is headed home soon, to help me run errands before she goes to work.

I have to find an organization in Seattle which needs community service volunteers... phrased that awkwardly because I'm embarassed about having court-ordered community service. Ach. Booze + Brodie = Bad Boy Brodie. Damn it. Well, the Boys & Girl's Club doesn't want me, and neither does the West Seattle Food Bank-- although the Food Bank lady did tell me to come in on Monday. I'll probably head in there and get an application, then start feeding some hungry people in Seattle. I feel good about making a contribution, but I think that I'm also spending a lot of "money" on my credit card which I don't have this X-mas, mostly because I feel like I've pissed away quite a few years of my life.

So I'll go to the hardware store and buy some coax, and get wifi shtuff at Radio Shack or on pricescan.com. Then I'll feel better about Brodie, right? Naah, then I'll just be busy, and I can impress my housemate Lance with computers... I guess in the long run, a wireless network in the house actually WILL make me happier, I just feel shitty because the Boys & Girl's club rejected me based on my criminal tendencies. Fug. Why can't I just be mindful, all of the time? Had I been looking out for my best interests on October 21, I wouldn't have gone to QFC with Drunk & Drunker. It's all cheese, anyway. This isn't really slashdot-appropriate, but I feel sluggish and cabin-fevered... so who cares.

I just wish I could feel happy and complete for a few minutes. I have everything a young man could ask for, and a lot more, and still I yearn for that little extra bit. No matter what. I always want more. Happiness by consumption and acquisition of material goods it ain't... I just like to feel smart, and a functional wireless network at home will probably assuage my self-loathing for another month or two.

We keep ourselves so BUSY in this culture, and it's to distract us from the everyday horrors we witness and inflict on others. I subscribed to Slashdot today as an X-Mas gift to CmdrTaco and CowboyNeal. And whoever else gets a cut. If I'm blowing dough left and right, I might as well support people like Rob-- if only because Geeks in Space used to "crack [me] so consistently up."

I also registered about 100 domains yesterday with gandi.net-- only 12 euro / year. Some of them, like http://daringheart.com (not up until after X-mas) -- which is for my mother -- were X-mas gifts. I got Lore Sjoeberg of Brunching.com the domain name http://chimpanzeesversusfreemasons-whowouldwin.biz

And that should be enough to warn you against ever shopping with a credit card online while under the harmful effects of the Reefer. Heh. Oh well. At least my Vaio is sexy, right? This little laptop is my dream come true... and a new hard drive is on the way for Sparky's computer. I have to remember to buy her some more RAM for X-Mas as well. Then I have to remember to calm the fuck down and stop turning every challenge in my life into a panic.

Brode
http://brodeco.com/activitylog.php for more of the same.