Beta
×

Welcome to the Slashdot Beta site -- learn more here. Use the link in the footer or click here to return to the Classic version of Slashdot.

Thank you!

Before you choose to head back to the Classic look of the site, we'd appreciate it if you share your thoughts on the Beta; your feedback is what drives our ongoing development.

Beta is different and we value you taking the time to try it out. Please take a look at the changes we've made in Beta and  learn more about it. Thanks for reading, and for making the site better!

I need to stop drinking

sm62704 (957197) writes | more than 6 years ago

User Journal 10

previously: Bars and Star

previously: Bars and Star

Ralph had gotten out of the hospital, and his daughters had forbidden visitors. They were paying Charlie, Linda, and Tami to take care of him. I was a bit sad that I couldn't visit the old guy; I was afraid I'd never see him alive again, let alone drink with him. And his daughter wasn't the least bit nice, talking about all the people who had been taking advantage of him, as if I was one of them. The old bastards owes ME money, for chrissakes! I wondered how my old friend could have raised his daughters to be such bitches.

Annie showed up again a couple days later. She'd only stayed home at her boyfriend's for a day, she said, and they fought and she left. She'd been in town a few days, and tomorrow was her birthday.

She conceded that right before her birthday was a stupid time to leave. And she had left her antidepressants home and was suicidal. Another stupid thing!

"That's not the worst, though," she said. "I called him drunk the other night and told him if he didn't come get me I was going to go find me some dick."

I took her to the drug store and paid for her presecription, and told her "happy birthday". Then I took her to Top Cat's for dinner, and Felbers for drinks. She spent the night.

The next day our friend Sam called up. It's funny, but I never knew a single girl with a "guys name" (except for the androgynous names, like "Pat") and now I know two, Charlie and Samantha. Charlie doesn't like Sam any more than she likes Annie; women generally don't like prostitutes for some strange reason. Maybe it's because they know deep down in their hearts that all women are whores, one way or another, and the pros make them realise that fact.

Sam had some pot, and I had some beer, and although Annie generally doesn't smoke pot we got her loaded. Wasted. Absolutely trashed! I put on the "My Name Is Earl" DVD and played the episode "Our Cops is on", and Annie had tears streaming down her face she was laughing so hard. Sam just got goofy.

The two of them drifted down the street, and I went to pick up Linda, who I'd promised to take to D'Arcy's. And then Tami stabbed me through the heart with Linda's tongue. I'm not sure if Linda meant to hurt; she denied the intent. But hurt she did; painfully and cruelly.

"So anyway, Tami and me were at the Blue Grouch last night and this guy's flirting with her, and then stopped flirting with her and started flirting with me but I didn't like the guy. I didn't want nothin' to do with him. So the asshole calls me up the next day" (not mentioning how he got her number, one of the two women must have given it to him) "...and I told him I wasn't interested.

"So Tami says 'call him back! I'm horny' and he didn't want nothin' to do with her!

"What's wrong?"

Women are evil. I didn't take her to the bar as I'd planned; I just took her home, castigating her. "For god's sake, woman, you know that bothers me. I can't even hire a hooker I'm such a fucking loser, a fat ugly bitch that can't get laid herself doesn't even want me!"

"You want to get laid?" she said. "I'll fuck you."

I wasn't in the mood. I took her home to Ralph's. Later that night Tami called, drunk, tring to regale me with tales of...

She regaled me not; I hung up on her. Several times. The woman had broken my heart, and all of these asshole bitches seemed to delight in my pain. Some friends they were.

The next day was Sunday, and I finally got around to opening up the two computers. The one I'd gotten from Tami was hacked decidedly amateurishly, as the hard drive was just laying there, unsecured. It looked like the drive bay had been removed from the Dell entirely.

I decided that swapping power supplies would wait another day, and removed the drives from my computer to put in the older box - and discovered that the Dell had a power defecit of its own. There was only one one power plug for a drive! I'll have to stop by Radio Shack or somewhere and get a drive power splitter, or just hack one out of the dead power supply from the home brewed box.

Charlie called, I had promised her ice cream the day before. I went by Ralphs and took her to Dairy Queen. Then we went to my house and drank beer.

I got decidedly drunk, dropped her off at another friend of hers who had some medical thing or other they needed fro Ralph, and went home.

Kay called, and I picked her up.

I think I'll stop drinking, because my memory of the rest of the evening is hazy. I remember sitting on the porch swing cuddling. If I committed adultery, I don't remember it.

I'll have to ask her.

next: Star and Wars

cancel ×

10 comments

Sorry! There are no comments related to the filter you selected.

That would suck (1)

Slashdot Parent (995749) | more than 6 years ago | (#24475933)

if you got laid and didn't remember it.

On prostitutes, I've never been with one, but lately I've had this burning desire to, and I can't figure out why.

Re:That would suck (1)

sm62704 (957197) | more than 6 years ago | (#24479639)

Dude, you're married, stick with your wife. Sex with someone you love is infinitely better than buying sex. Hookers are better than masturbation, but are no match for a relationship. I'd trade all the hookers I know for one woman that was in love with me and could be faithful.

Plus, unless someone you trust introduces you to a hooker you run the risk of being arrested for soliciting. And if you find one that isn't really a cop in disguise, you still run the risk of disease (condoms aren't 100%).

I forgot to mention in the journal, Annie was on the rag or I'd have done her again; I bought her kotexes and cigarettes along with dinner and antidepressants.

Re:That would suck (1)

Slashdot Parent (995749) | more than 6 years ago | (#24479975)

Sex with someone you love is infinitely better than buying sex.

I may be aware of that, but I don't know that. It's just like my kids. I can tell them 100 times is in their best interest not to do something, but they're gonna try it, anyway. Of course, after getting burned, they don't do it again, but would they ever admit or even realize that they could have learned from someone else's mistakes?

And anyway, how can I be so sure? Why should someone whose job is to have sex be worse than someone who does it as a hobby? I mean, I'm a hell of a lot better of a landlord than your average hobbyist landlord.

Plus, unless someone you trust introduces you to a hooker you run the risk of being arrested for soliciting. And if you find one that isn't really a cop in disguise, you still run the risk of disease (condoms aren't 100%).

Hmm. Which probability is higher? That the hooker is a cop, or that the "someone I trust" accidentally spills the beans? A secret is only a secret if 1 person knows. And regarding disease, I wonder if I have a greater probability of getting maimed or killed in a car accident on the way into town?

At any rate, I never said that I was going to go nail a prostitute. Only that I had a burning desire. I'm not sure that anything can be done about that desire, because who can change or even explain sexual attraction? I'm sure there are some gay people who wish they weren't, but that's just who they are.

Re:That would suck (1)

sm62704 (957197) | more than 6 years ago | (#24481283)

And anyway, how can I be so sure? Why should someone whose job is to have sex be worse than someone who does it as a hobby? I mean, I'm a hell of a lot better of a landlord than your average hobbyist landlord.

Those sayings at the bottom of slashdot's page nailed it once: "Sex is the only profession where the amateur is more highly respected then the professional". She's only doing it for the money, and pros vary widely in professionalism, experience, and competence (as well as vagina size). The cost is no way to judge either; Annie charges me twenty bucks (and she's pretty damned good, I think she tries harder because she's heavy, or maybe she just likes me), but she gets up to $300 from some guys (there's a well known politician she's told me about).

Snake, otoh, is the worst sex I ever had. Masturbation is better!

Hmm. Which probability is higher? That the hooker is a cop, or that the "someone I trust" accidentally spills the beans?

That would be hard to judge, and I can't help you there; I've never solicited a prostitute. Either they solicited me, or I met them through a friend. Once you meet one you're likely to meet her friends, who will likely be hookers as well.

But it might be the hooker herself who spills the beans; you wouldn't believe some of the stories the girls tell me. There are some really strange people out there!

And regarding disease, I wonder if I have a greater probability of getting maimed or killed in a car accident on the way into town?

I'd say if you use a condom you're not that likely to catch anything, but the possibility is there. Driving is probably the most dangerous thing most people will ever do.

I'm not sure that anything can be done about that desire, because who can change or even explain sexual attraction?

I can explain it - it's the "forbidden fruit" syndrome. All you can do about it is don't let your little head override your big head.

Re:That would suck (1)

Slashdot Parent (995749) | more than 6 years ago | (#24483289)

"Sex is the only profession where the amateur is more highly respected then the professional". She's only doing it for the money, and pros vary widely in professionalism, experience, and competence (as well as vagina size).

I dunno, I'm only landlording for the money. It certainly ain't because I enjoy chasing after deadbeats.

but she gets up to $300 from some guys

This ridiculous. The Springfield market must be absurd, then. Around here, you can get a top-quality escort for $300 right out of the yellow pages. Beyond that is just being stupid. Look how much the former governor Spitzer spent on that psychotic bitch who was supposedly high-class?

At any rate, I've been "wanting to do this" for years now, so it's not like there's any type of imminent danger.

Snake, otoh, is the worst sex I ever had. Masturbation is better!

The sayings strike again: "Sex is like pizza. Even when it's bad, it's still pretty good."

I can explain it - it's the "forbidden fruit" syndrome. All you can do about it is don't let your little head override your big head.

I think it would have to be more than that, because I don't walk around all day wanting to fuck every single woman I encounter who is not my wife.

Re:That would suck (1)

MrKaos (858439) | more than 6 years ago | (#24492911)

Saw a skirt that made me horny, I was lookin' for a rent-a-wife.
I want pants not words, that rocks off thing, When I hand her bills she brings.
I just want to get me a buy of some fuzz, Just a guy, I'm not proud.

Some heat what's hot and some sound firm thigh, Would she care to fool around?

I just want some dessert off a whore with no name, It be good to be out with a dame.

Just want dessert, I won't remember her name, 'Cause you get your fun and the whore don't complain.

Ah ah ah ah-ah-ah-ah ah ah ah oh oh ah, Ah ah ah ah-ah-ah-ah ah ah oh oh oo ah

There's a few ways to effect some fun. Some skin or give at turns head.
There's the three way but it costs a ton, And you'll need yourself a bigger bed.

"That's Amore" I'm told in Italian gets hos, Get me had my pencil some lead.

For me I've been due some pleasure with a whore of hot flame, I'll melt wood in and out for some strange.

I'm so pestered and evil tempered; so lame, And their ain't no fun 'til some business exchange.

Ah ah ah ah-ah-ah-ah ah ah ah oh oh ah, Ah ah ah ah-ah-ah-ah ah ah oh oh oo ah

I don't mind pay, you get no whores for free, 'Cause their effort is done for fee.
No romance, no words, want rock something, Want a m'am no frills, no strings.
A notion for some dessert where a wife is not found, It's so perfect for guys in lust.

I like it gritty, take my joy underground, Find a woman that don't get fussed.

So she was paid for her efforts well rehearsed was her game, It felt good to go get bent again.

She was fervent, but don't remember her name, 'Cause there ain't no fun like the time that's just been.

Ah ah ah ah-ah-ah-ah ah ah ah oh oh ah, Ah ah ah ah-ah-ah-ah ah ah oh oh oo ah

Adultry (1)

ObitMan (550793) | more than 6 years ago | (#24492281)

You can't commit adultry if you aren't married.
You just fornicated.
The married person who you fornicated with committed adultry. (if such fornication occured)

Re:Adultry (1)

ObitMan (550793) | more than 6 years ago | (#24492305)

i like how i misspeleled it 3 times...

Re:Adultry (1)

sm62704 (957197) | more than 6 years ago | (#24495369)

I saw your post and thought GREAT! Adultery is one of the big ten sins but forication isn't. So I looked up the definition [reference.com] in the dictionary, and it looks like if I bang Tami or Kay I'm still committing adultery.

adultery
-noun, plural -teries.
voluntary sexual intercourse between a married person and someone other than his or her lawful spouse.

The definition appears to say that the act itself is the adultery. So I looked up adulterer [reference.com] and it appears that you can indeed be a single adulterer

adulterer
-noun a person who commits adultery.

Of course, I already sinned by wanting to in the first place; coveting

Re:Adultry (1)

ObitMan (550793) | more than 6 years ago | (#24506195)

well it's good I spelled it wrong then...

Check for New Comments
Slashdot Login

Need an Account?

Forgot your password?

Submission Text Formatting Tips

We support a small subset of HTML, namely these tags:

  • b
  • i
  • p
  • br
  • a
  • ol
  • ul
  • li
  • dl
  • dt
  • dd
  • em
  • strong
  • tt
  • blockquote
  • div
  • quote
  • ecode

"ecode" can be used for code snippets, for example:

<ecode>    while(1) { do_something(); } </ecode>