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The Modern Pirate's Code rough draft

Orion Blastar (457579) writes | more than 5 years ago

User Journal 2

The USA is headed for a collapse, we need a new way of life as our current one is leading to economic ruin and corruption. This is based on the old Pirate's code and modernized.

* Article One
Every person shall obey civil command; the Captain shall have one full share an' half in all prizes. the Master, Carpenter, Boatswain, and Gunner shall have one share an' quarter.

The USA is headed for a collapse, we need a new way of life as our current one is leading to economic ruin and corruption. This is based on the old Pirate's code and modernized.

* Article One
Every person shall obey civil command; the Captain shall have one full share an' half in all prizes. the Master, Carpenter, Boatswain, and Gunner shall have one share an' quarter.

* Article Two
If any person shall offer to run away, or keep any secret from the Company, he shall be marroon'd with one bottle of powder, one bottle of Water, one small Arm, an' shot.

* Article Three
If any person shall steal any thing in the company, or game, to the value of $100, he shall be Marroon'd or shot.

* Article Four
If at any time we should happen upon another marrooner, (that be Pirate) that person shall sign his/her Articles without consent of our company, an' shall suffer such punishment as the Captain and company shall think fit.

* Article Five
That a person that shall strike another, whilst these Articles are in force, shall suffer such punishment as the Captain and company shall think fit.

* Article Six
That a person that shall fire his/her arms, or smoke tobacco in the hold or office, or carry a candle lighted without lanthorn, shall suffer the same punishment as in the former Article.

* Article Seven
That person that shall not keep his/her arms clean, fit for an engagement, or neglect his/her business, shall be cut off from his/her share, an' shall suffer such other punishment as the Captain and company shall think fit.

* Article Eight
If any person shall lose a joint in time of engagement, he shall have $4000. If a limb, 8000.

* Article Nine
If at any time you meet with a prudent person, that person that offers to meddle with him/her, without his/her consent, shall suffer such punishment as the Captain and company shall think fit.

* Article Ten
No person shall be harassed or discriminated against because of his/her color of skin, religion or lack thereof, gender, national origin, creed, disability or mental illness, physical illness, age, sexual orientation, or political views. All people are created equal, and civil and human rights apply to all human beings.

* Article Eleven
Success is the best revenge and the most profitable, getting physical revenge only serves to destroy property and people, of which have value. Everyone should work towards their success and help other people succeed via training, tutoring, teaching, or hands on experience. Only purpose for physical attacks is self-defense of ourselves or others.

* Article Twelve
We are not an anarchy or anarchists, we strive for order. Our governments and political system cause the anarchy and are the true anarchists. Pirates follow servant leadership and leaders serve their followers and followers serve the ship or country.

Follow this code, and we will surely be returned to fame and fortune.

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2 comments

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Bahaha (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#25094441)

Schizofreak.

Someone forgot to take their thorazine. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#25096991)

I'm so glad there's an entire Internet worth of distance separating me from this fucking nutcase.

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