StalinsNotDead's Journal: Goals

These are what I have observed needs changing. All but the last two represent things which have deteriorated as my depression and apathy have increased. I just want to record them.

1. Reacquire the near-obsessive sense of order and neatness in the three primary environments in my life: my work area, my living area, and my transportation.

2. Resume an active role in grooming. Keep hair trimmed and facial hair un-UnABomberesque. Possibly regrow the handle bar mustache.

3. Consult my physician and get back on the blood-pressure and anti-anxiety medications.

4. Reduce alcohol consumption to a rational level. Remove alcohol as a consumption-based refuge.

5. Improve diet. Eat at scheduled intervals, regardless of whether I am hungry. Currently, I only eat when I am hungry, which is not very often.

6. Quit dipping and/or smoking.

7. Begin exercising regularly.

8. Reintroduce color and variation into my wardrobe.

9. Purchase a new vehicle. I'm badly in need of one, as the current one is on its last leg.

10. Locate a suitable mate and become involved in a long-term, preferably monogamous relationship. This one may take longer than a year, as it is outside of my complete control. (It requires the consent of another party) Also, I would like to accomplish at least a few of the previous goals before this one.

goals are good

[stoolpigeon]

everybody needs goals.
 
I don't know where I picked that up - but it immediately pops into my head when anyone mentions goals.

Re:

[StalinsNotDead]

Goals are difficult for me. Not achieving them, but setting them. In the current state of apathy the "what's the point?" issues got in the way of goal-setting.

The issues with my cousin mentioned in a previous journal entry got me to thinking. And I realized it was entirely possible for me to get to the level where my own self-involvement outweighed the obligation to loved ones. At the current rate of decay, possibly within five years.

I would rather not reach that level of betrayal. Hence, forcing myself to

Re:

[stoolpigeon]

I remember when I went through my divorce. My wife had kicked me out, I was living in my parents house and riding my bike to a grocery store where I worked. Moment by moment I was vacillating between living and not. I had a manager say something about doing something and I told him, "Man, I just don't care. I have absolutely no reason to care about anything."

A week later I bought a jeep. I was tired of depending on my folks to get around. It's weird looking back - but the monthly payment for i

Evaluation of Goals

[FroMan]

1. Reacquire the near-obsessive sense of order and neatness in the three primary environments in my life: my work area, my living area, and my transportation.

Upon accomplishing goal #10 do not procreate. Goal #1 gets thrown out the window upon procreation. I try to clean up after my son when he takes a nap and within minutes of waking up *every* toy is dispursed across the floor. I believe children are forces of entropy.

2. Resume an active role in grooming. Keep hair trimmed and facial hair un-UnABombere

Eleven

[Profane MuthaFucka]

11. Two ejaculations a day keep prostate cancer away. Also good mental health benefits.

Regarding Number Two

[Degrees]

I dislike shaving. But I do it, out of respect for the people I interact with. Or maybe it's because I want respect, and I figure that the more I live up to people's hopes, the more likely they will respect me. But on vacation - there's my freedom. :-)

Grooming

[bettiwettiwoo]

Always when I read Sylvia Plath's "The Bell Jar" I laugh (bittersweetly) at the passage when she contemplates the vanity of washing her hair; it so aptly describes how I feel when I'm down in dumps: the uselessness of it all (I wash it today, and then I have to do it again the day after tomorrow; it just so never stops like, ever). Ditto vacuumcleaning. Ditto all those other goddamned things you just have to do again and again and again an....

So I've been thinking of just 'hiring' it all out: hair wash; wax

Optimal Prioritization

[sillypixie]

If you raise the priority of #7, the others may get a bit easier. The exercise will kick your metabolism, which hopefully will affect your appetite, addressing #5. If you go to a gym, you will actually have a community to be groomed for and to dress for, which help to address #2 and #8. I've found that if you work out early in the morning, it is better to not be dehydrated and befuddled, and so #4 just doesn't make sense any more. And, of course, there are girls at gyms, so tactically, it makes sense f

Re:

[StalinsNotDead]

I listed them in the order of feasibility, effort and effect. Past number 2, I'm not really looking forward to any of them.

I'm already getting returns on #1. So that's good.

contemplate my day for 30 minutes

That seems to be one of my problems, the constant contemplation without direction, fueled by my pessimism.

Re:

[sillypixie]

Seems like making this list was a positive start. I don't think constant contemplation is an issue -- the hard part is organizing the contemplation into resolution, at both strategic and tactical levels.

Meh I sound like I have it all together eh? I wish. I guess I'm just trying to work out my own thoughts by looking at your words.

Thanks anyways, for making me think about it all.

Pixie

Re:

[The Fun Guy]

That seems to be one of my problems, the constant contemplation without direction

I've found that I only get moving when I've grown sufficiently disgusted with myself for not getting moving already.