IntlHarvester's Journal: Model of a Slashdot Personality

I am a bigshot Slashdot editor! (Score:-1, Offtopic)
by MondoMor (262881) on 04:41 PM March 16th, 2003 (#5525815)
Watch me misquote, mislink, misunderstand and make an ass of myself with my story submissions! I hope you like my commentary and extreme bias, along with my total inability to do anything along the lines of those traditionally called "editors".

Here's a poem about, well, about you likely:

    to the tune of: "Model of a Modern Major General", with apologies to
Gilbert and Sullivan...

Model of a Slashdot Personality

I am the very model of a Slashdot personality.
I intersperse obscenity with tedious banality.
Addresses I have plenty of, both genuine and ghosted too,
On all the countless topics that my drivel is cross-posted to.
Your bandwidth I will fritter with my whining and my sniveling,
And you're the one who pays the bill, downloading all my driveling.
My enemies are numerous, and no-one would be blaming you
For cracking my head open after I've been rudely flaming you.

I hate to lose an argument (by now I should be used to it).
I wouldn't know a valid point if I was introduced to it.
My learning is extensive but consists of mindless trivia,
Designed to fan my ego, which is larger than Bolivia.
The comments that I vomit forth, disguised as jest and drollery,
Are really just an exercise in unremitting trollery.
I say I'm frank and forthright, but that's merely lies and vanity,
The gibberings of one who's at the limits of his sanity.

If only I could get a life, as many people tell me to;
If only Mom could find a circus freak-show she could sell me to;
If I go off to Zanzibar to paint the local scenery;
If I lose all my fingers in a mishap with machinery;
If I survive to twenty, which is somewhat problematical;
If what I post was more mature, or slightly more grammatical;
If I could learn to spell a bit, and maybe even punctuate;
Would I still be the loathsome and objectionable punk you hate?

But while I have this tiresome urge to prance around and show my face,
It simply isn't safe for normal people here in cyberspace.
To stick me in Old Sparky and turn on the electricity
Would be a fitting punishment for my egocentricity.

I always have the last word; so, with uttermost finality,
That's all from me, the model of a Slashdot personality.

Lol, neat

[linzeal]

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