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Things Conservatives Want Me to Believe

Scott Lockwood (218839) writes | about 5 years ago

Democrats 11

Things Conservatives Want Me to Believe
by Christi Smith

Parents who don't want their children to pray in school are Anti-American zealots -- parents who don't want their children to listen to a speech by the President of the United States telling them to work hard and get good grades are noble patriots.

Things Conservatives Want Me to Believe
by Christi Smith

Parents who don't want their children to pray in school are Anti-American zealots -- parents who don't want their children to listen to a speech by the President of the United States telling them to work hard and get good grades are noble patriots.

Peacefully demonstrating against the country starting an international war is treason -- showing up with automatic weapons to protest healthcare reform is democracy at its finest.

Any government official with a desk job should have every action scrutinized -- any government official with a badge and a gun should never be questioned or disrespected. At all. Ever.

Questioning the legitimacy of an election because the "winner" was selected by the Supreme Court is sour grapes -- questioning the legitimacy of an election because the winner (by the largest number of votes in American history) is really a Kenyan born Muslim despite all evidence to the contrary is being a vigilant American.

Lying about a blowjob is an impeachable offense -- lying about a war is no big deal, really.

Investigating a shady land deal involving the First Lady is a matter of National Identity -- investigating the use of torture at the direction of the Executive Branch is a partisan witch hunt.

Executing Japanese officers for waterboarding prisoners during WWII shows that we have the moral high-ground on human rights -- waterboarding prisoners of our shows that we have the moral high-ground on human rights.

Sitting two rows in front of Jane Fonda in a 1970 anti-war rally is an OUTRAGE! Shaking Saddam's hand in 1983...meh, not so much.

Anyone who questions the president during a time of war is giving aide and comfort to the enemy and should be deported...unless the president in question has a (D) next to their name in which case you should undermine them at every turn even if you have to routinely make shit up to do it.

Socialism, Marxism, Communism and Fascism are all interchangeable words that mean pretty much the same thing.

Anyone who abuses drugs should be locked up indefinitely...unless they are a popular Republican radio host in which case they need your prayers as they recover from the illness of addiction.

Health Insurance companies have your best interests in mind and anyone who thinks otherwise is trying to turn America into the Godless heathen nation of Sweden where EVERYONE in the country dies (eventually).

Obama is an atheist communist Muslim who attended a radical Christian church.

Believing that human activity could impact the global environment is crazy talk -- believing that an invisible man in the sky personally told George Bush to invade Iraq to fulfill Biblical prophecy is logically sound.

The verdict is still out on evolution -- but Jesus Christ returning in our lifetimes is a pretty much a given.

The media are unquestionably biased against Republicans -- Talk Radio, The Washington Times, The Weekly Standard, The Wall Street Journal, Rightwing Blogs, Fox News and NewsCorp are not part of the media.

The government should have no part in regulating multi-national corporations as they make decisions that impact the lives of millions of people -- government should regulate individuals by determining who they can marry, what kind of intercourse they can have, what they can smoke, how to manage their pregnancy and how to proceed with end of life decisions.

Communicating with hostile nations is a stab in the back to our great nation -- Reagan communicating with the USSR during the Cold War was Political Genius.

Iran is a mortal threat to our nation and anyone who attempts to talk to them is traitorous scum -- selling weapons to Iran and then funneling the money to start wars in South America is clearly in our National interest.

George Bush kept the nation safe after 9-11 (NOTE: the Anthrax attacks, the DC Sniper and Hurricane Katrina don't count. Also, the fact that 9-11 happened on his watch despite receiving a security briefing specifically warning of the attack doesn't count either.)

Social Security, Medicare, public schooling, public libraries, fire departments, police departments and the US Military are as American as Apple Pie -- universal healthcare is ZOMGDEATHPANELSOCIALISM!!

George W Bush is a regular 'ole Texas rancher just like you and me despite the fact that he was born in Connecticut, attended two Ivy League schools, bought the Crawford ranch just before running for president, sold it immediate after leaving office and is terrified of horses.

The two guys at the center of the Watergate and Iran-Contra scandals are trustworthy voices in discussions of current national policy and should be taken at face-value.

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cool (1)

Marxist Hacker 42 (638312) | about 5 years ago | (#29353107)

Just located you on facebook this way and sent you a friend invite.

Re:cool (1)

Scott Lockwood (218839) | about 5 years ago | (#29353161)

Awesome! Thanks!

Re:cool (1)

Marxist Hacker 42 (638312) | about 5 years ago | (#29356287)

Too bad I godwin'd myself....though, if I wanted to, I could have pointed out that Margret Sanger was no Nazi- but did found Planned Parenthood on *exactly* that ideal- that there would be a lot fewer poor people if a few of them would just have fewer children.

Re:cool (1)

Scott Lockwood (218839) | about 5 years ago | (#29358233)

I don't think it ever hurts to tell the truth. :-)

Nice Straw Man (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | about 5 years ago | (#29355067)

Lies Liberals Want Me To Believe

Bush is Hitler. Never mind that Obama has more in common with Hitler.
Facsism is a trait of the Right, despite having everything in common with the worst of the left (Socialism, Eugenics, Squelching Free Speech).
Dissent is the highest form of Patriotism, right up until a black guy gets elected President. Then you're just a racist for not swallowing Dear Leader's Load.

Questioning the legitimacy of an election because the "winner" was selected by the Supreme Court is sour grapes -- but only if the Democrat steals it like Al Franken did. If the Dem loses, it's a threat to Democracy. Just ask Al Gore.

ACORN is not a brownshirt organization.

Neither is the SEIU.

Anyone rumored to have tried Cocaine like Bush is unfit for office. Unless they actually DID use it, and admit it, like Obama.

In conclusion, Fuck you, Lockwood. You're clearly a misguided fool.

Re:Nice Straw Man (1)

Scott Lockwood (218839) | about 5 years ago | (#29358257)

And you are clearly, as it states on your post, a coward. :) Better a fool than that.

Re:Nice Straw Man (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 5 years ago | (#29358835)

Facsism is a trait of the Right, despite having everything in common with the worst of the left

Funny, it has plenty in common with the worst of the right as well: government-imposed morality, the corporate government, thinking of the children as an excuse to deprive everyone else of their rights.

You could have pointed out some real issues with the essay, for instance the conservatives aren't all that hot on Medicare and Social Security either, too bad that if the Republicans even threatened to touch it everyone over 60 would suddenly "have a heart" so they do nothing and just hope the hot potato explodes while it's in the Democrats' hands.

Instead you post the same drivel over and over. How ACORN and the CRA forced banks to loan to poor people (despite the fact that over 50% of the subprime loans were issued by brokers and investment firms that the CRA didn't apply to and despite the fact that people who were qualified for prime loans were steered into ARMs instead of fixed-rate mortgages because the brokers made more money). Bush's "Blueprint for the American Dream" was more of the same CRA policies as Clinton, but you know how I know it wasn't his fault or Clinton's fault or the CRA's fault? Because when Bush cancelled his Blueprint program, he reset the CRA regulations back to their pre-Clinton requirements yet everyone still churned out subprime loans by the wheelbarrow load. Zero correlation = Zero causation. How Fannie and Freddie caused the meltdown (wait, wasn't it the CRA and ACORN?) by creating a market for derivatives (despite the fact that the $70 trillion bad debt we've been left holding in their bag is a sliver of the $500 trillion of derivatives "out there" somewhere?)

As for drugs, all I ask is if they're clean now. The Constitution explicitly prohibits religious testing, I see nothing in there banning drug tests.

Re:Nice Straw Man (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 5 years ago | (#29360003)

Hi, Red :)

Re:Nice Straw Man (1, Troll)

Red4man (1347635) | about 5 years ago | (#29360209)

Guess I can't fool everyone.

Re:Nice Straw Man (2, Informative)

damn_registrars (1103043) | about 5 years ago | (#29366453)

This was too amusing to pass up on...

Never mind that Obama has more in common with Hitler

Can you back up this claim in any meaningful manner? Between Bush and Obama I only know of one who lead the invasion of a sovereign nation.

Facsism is a trait of the Right, despite having everything in common with the worst of the left (Socialism, Eugenics, Squelching Free Speech)

First of all, Socialism and Fascism have almost nothing in common philosophically. In particular, socialism is about equality, while fascism is about obedience.

Exactly how you come to equate eugenics with anything in that statement is beyond me... Though I won't hold my breath for a reply.

Dissent is the highest form of Patriotism

Funny how dissent was squelched as "unpatriotic" and even "un-American" during the previous administration.

a black guy gets elected President. Then you're just a racist

And what does his skin color have to do with this argument?

Questioning the legitimacy of an election because the "winner" was selected by the Supreme Court is sour grapes -- but only if the Democrat steals it like Al Franken did. If the Dem loses, it's a threat to Democracy. Just ask Al Gore.

Your statement was so poorly written I had to read it a few times to figure out what you might be trying to say here. It appears you want to somehow compare the 2000 presidential election to the 2008 MN US Senate election. We can do that, if you'd like:

  • The earlier one involved a large number of missing ballots
  • The earlier one also included a largely Jewish district that mysteriously supported Buchanon by an overwhelming majority
  • The recount was cancelled and discarded in the earlier one
  • The Florida secretary of state announced her intentions regarding the count before it was even completed
  • The declared winner of the (cancelled) recount in the first one was the brother of the person whose signature was needed for the recount to be certified

Meanwhile, on planet earth...

  • The latter election followed state laws
  • The latter election was granted a recount under the state laws due to the extremely narrow initial margin
  • The latter election was reviewed independently by state courts with arguments heard from both sides

Please show us where these parallels are...

ACORN is not a brownshirt organization

When we look up brownshirt [wikipedia.org] on wikipedia, we find it particularly refers to a "paramilitary" organization. I'm not aware of any paramilitary conduct taken by ACORN. Nor, for that matter, are they an organization of any particular political party.

Neither is the SEIU

My previous statement also sinks your claim on this one.

Anyone rumored to have tried Cocaine like Bush is unfit for office. Unless they actually DID use it, and admit it, like Obama

If you look back to the 2000 election campaigns, you'll find that the rumors of GWB using coke were started by his own office, as they were trying to make him more like "a common man" rather than the elitist that he actually was.

Re:Nice Straw Man (1, Troll)

Red4man (1347635) | about 5 years ago | (#29369641)

You are the biggest fucking dumbass on the planet.

Here I was, trying to troll Lockwood, and while he nibbled he didn't bite, but you, damn_registrars, you bit hook, line, and sinker.

What's really funny is I already was outed / admitted I was here trolling, and yet you had your little knee jerk reaction AFTER that.

DUMB. ASS.
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