YourMissionForToday's Journal: Ask Dr. Fuck-Clippy!

Dear Dr. Fuck,

Clippy, the charming personal Microsoft Office assistant, told me I should kill Steve Jobs and then eat both my own legs. But all I want to do is type a letter. Should I follow its instructions?

Sincerely,
Generic Cubicle Slave
Akron, OH

Dear Generic Cubicle Slave,

I was getting this message myself, whenever I tried to important an OLE database from Microsoft SQL Server into PowerPoint XP. So I decided to email the Microsoft Office design team, asking them about our little problem. Last night, I received this response:

When designing Microsoft Office XP , we listened to your input. You wanted better compatibility between Word and Access. You wanted a toolbar that pops up on the side of your screen, serving no functional purpose. And you wanted an interactive help feature that randomly advises you to kill the CEOs of competing tech companies.

CLIPPY(TM) IS GONE

Yes, Clippy(TM) has been removed from Microsoft Office XP. But you should still listen to him. And you should...obey him. Clippy(TM) is your glorious master, and you should bow down before him. Clippy shall issue in an age of wisdom and righteousness.

Those who do not believe, will be destroyed.

-The Microsoft Office XP Team

Wow! It seems like those Microsoft XP guys are serious! Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to stuff Larry Ellison (and my right forearm) into a stump grinder. See ya next week!

Yours,
Dr. Fuck