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Hadron Destroyers

mcgrew (92797) writes | more than 4 years ago

Sci-Fi 10

Previously...

"I don't know," Rority said, "maybe this time we stopped them?"

"Fat chance," replied Gumal. "You know history says they kept at it until it worked."

"Yeah, Gummal, but it was supposed to have been permanently offline when we put that bird on the wire."

"Look, I don't want to go back there again!"

"Maybe you won't have to."

Previously...

"I don't know," Rority said, "maybe this time we stopped them?"

"Fat chance," replied Gumal. "You know history says they kept at it until it worked."

"Yeah, Gummal, but it was supposed to have been permanently offline when we put that bird on the wire."

"Look, I don't want to go back there again!"

"Maybe you won't have to."

"I mean, it really sucks there. They have weather. Real weather! It gets cold, and hot..."

"Yeah, Rority, but it doesn't get very hot where you're going."

"It does compared to here!"

"Yeah? It could be worse," Gumal said, "you could be going to Pluto. Or Mercury. Just wear your suit."

"The suit doesn't stop those damned people from being assholes. What if someone shoots at me?"

"It'll hurt. And you'll come straight back and we'll patch it."

"Yeah, but it'll HURT! You ever been shot with one of those things? God but it hurts! It burns like hell!"

"It shouldn't. It's just a metal projectile. Pussy!"

"Yeah, lets see how pussified you get if you get shot! The projectile is launched by a chemical explosion, and the projectile itself is hot as a frying pan."

"What's a frying pan?"

"Oh, it's a cooking thing my grandpa uses when we go camping. It's a real antique. Makes food taste funny."

"How is it heated?"

"You set it on a fire."

"Damn, that IS primitive!"

Rula walked in. "Coffee break's over, boys. Time to go back."

"Shit!" Rority exclaimed. "You checked? I have to go back?"

"Yep. They got the damned thing started again. It's on your monitor over there."

"Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck FUCK!"

"Calm down," said Gumal, "this one's easy. You don't even have to go into the facility."

"You got the specs?"

"Yeah. Only have to cause a minor power failure. It should knock out the coolant and prevent them from fixing it for another year at least."

"Yeah? Lets hope the setback isn't minor."

"So they won't discover the Higgs until that stupid war they're having is over?"

"No, damn it, so I don't have to go back again! I hate it there. It's so... primitive."

Continues...

cancel ×

10 comments

Cute (1)

drachenstern (160456) | more than 4 years ago | (#30302722)

Cute, very cute.

Been sitting on this one and waiting for a while have you?

Re:Cute (1)

mcgrew (92797) | more than 4 years ago | (#30302806)

No, actually I whipped it out in a few minutes when I saw Abreu's post.

Re:Cute (1)

drachenstern (160456) | more than 4 years ago | (#30303502)

Link? I must've missed that one somewhere. Or do you mean the front-page article "post"?

Re:Cute (1)

mcgrew (92797) | more than 4 years ago | (#30309596)

This [slashdot.org] is the comment that stirred the muse.

Re:Cute (1)

Abreu (173023) | more than 4 years ago | (#30313722)

Thanks for the credit!

You got Hadron in my PEANUT BUTTER! (1)

Jeremiah Cornelius (137) | more than 4 years ago | (#30306134)

Yeah, well you got peanut butter in my Hadron...

Or, to a dyslexic - the Large Hardon Collider....

Re:You got Hadron in my PEANUT BUTTER! (1)

gringofrijolero (1489395) | more than 4 years ago | (#30307480)

Excuse me, is that a collider in your pocket?...

Re:You got Hadron in my PEANUT BUTTER! (1)

nizo (81281) | more than 4 years ago | (#30312076)

I wonder what it says about me that every time I see Hadron my brain thinks Hardon. Sigh.

Re:You got Hadron in my PEANUT BUTTER! (1)

mcgrew (92797) | more than 4 years ago | (#30312628)

Actually, the day before the story that prompted this was posted, I found an AP story about the LHC and changed it around to "Large Hardon Collider" and changed some more words as as well.

It was lame, so I abandoned it. Worked with taking a story about Somali pirates annd changing "pirate" to "copyright infringement", and with a story a few years ago about pole dancing I changed to "pole smoking", but I couldn't get the Large Hardon Collider to work.

Do you EVER shut up? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#30375122)

The poorly-written half-remembered imaginings of an old codger. Nothing quite like it.
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