interstellar_donkey's Journal: Women

We're in that really terrible part of the year. Football is long off, and all the teams worth watching have been eliminated from the NBA playoffs (Is that still going on?) There really isn't that much left to watch. Oh sure, you have baseball, but that's about as much fun as watching paint dry*

So with no good sports on the television, the mind starts to wander. It occurred to me that chicks have been pretty active in sports these days. What, with the WNBA and the LPGA and the Power Girl NASCAR and whatnot. Heck, there's even a WNFL, if you can believe it.

Pretty much any sport out there has women competing in it. Sure, nobody watches, but it's good that there are good role models out there for... Gosh, I really don't know who. Little girls, I guess. And lesbians. And certain types of fetishists. You name a sport, and there is a woman version of it.

So it occurred to me, we need to start taking this into other arenas besides sports. Title 9 doesn't just cover sports (as per my understanding), and I can think of no better place to start ramping up for equality then our very own United States government agencies.

To begin, let's get a WFBI started. It would be just like the regular FBI, but women now would be able to make drug busts and fly on private airplanes to out of the way places to nab a kidnapper or international terrorist. Granted, the WFBI wouldn't have the raw power and excitement of the regular FBI, but I would suspect WFBI agents would try to make up for it in good crime fighting fundamentals.

If that is successful, we can move on to other government agencies. I can't be the only one who wants to see a WIRS. I can tell you one thing; I don't like having to deal with the IRS, but I think if they started allowing woman to check tax returns or do audits, it would certainly get a lot more interesting. In fact, I'd take the WIRS over the WNBA. You don't have to be 9 feet tall to work for the IRS, and who knows, we may even have some cute chicks get in there.

The one place I don't think this would work is in the ATF. The ATF handles the three greatest things America has to offer: Tobacco, Firearms, and Booze. An LATF (the L is for 'ladies') would just be too creepy. When a government agent comes knocking on your door to ask about your stockpile of assault rifles, the 300 cases of 'imported' Jack Daniels, and your stash of Cuban Cigars, it just wouldn't carry the same level of dread if the agent was a frilly little girl.

I don't know, maybe that's just me. I'm a man of the new millennium, so I'd like to see some more progressive thinking over there in Washington. Heck, the last time they let a girl into the Whitehouse the President almost got fired over her wily ways. But I think if they started letting more and more in, we could really start seeing some parity.

* The expression 'watching paint dry' is often misunderstood, as watching paint dry is far more exciting then one would anticipate. I've done it, and boy howdy, it's fun for the whole family. It helps if you have a case of decent beer, an AM radio, and a comfortable lawn chair.