Original AIDS Monkey's Journal: Are Vibrators Safe for Anal Play?

Question:

I would like to know if anal sex play is dangerous or unhealthy. Is there anything wrong with being interested in it? I am thinking of buying myself a vibrator with an anal attachment.

Answer:

As long as you follow some important guidelines, you can safely experiment with anal sex play -- with vibrators, partners, or otherwise -- and remain healthy.

Briefly, one very important health rule to keep in mind: Keep anal bacteria in the anal area, away from other places. In your specific situation, this means several things:

• Don't allow anal bacteria to go into the vagina. Specifically, you can't get so carried away from stimulating yourself anally that you let the vibrator stray into the area of the vulva (the outside of the female genitals) without first cleaning it thoroughly. Use an antibacterial soap or special "adult toy cleanser."
• Likewise, don't allow a finger that goes in or near an anus (yours or a partner's) to then go inside your vagina. Drugstores sell latex "cots" that fit nicely over fingers like miniature condoms. Use a cot in the anal area and then remove it before going anywhere near the vulva.
• If you include anal play in partnered sex, insist that a male partner use a condom during anal intercourse if you have any intention of participating in penis-in-vagina intercourse later. Without a condom, reverse order is OK only if you are completely sure of the sexually transmitted disease status of your partner. That means tests for all the STDs for both of you and total confidence that no new microbes will be introduced into the relationship.
• Keep anal bacteria out of the mouth. Though the activity of "rimming" (oral-anal contact) may be enjoyable to some, it's a health risk to the oral participant.

Failure to follow this advice can lead to nasty and persistent bacterial infections, among other health problems. Many of these, including STDs, are covered in my archived column "Guidelines for Exploring Anal Sex." I recommend you check that out now to learn more about the health risks of anal play.

Another important guideline involves lubrication. Unlike a vagina, the anal area doesn't naturally produce its own, so always apply lubricant to the skin around the anus and on whatever you want to insert -- finger, penis, or sex toy such as a vibrator or dildo. Using a lubricant will minimize the chances of physically damaging any tissue near or in the anus.

Select a lubricant that contains no mineral oil, petroleum products, or their derivatives. These ingredients generally aren't healthy for the inside of the body and they deteriorate the latex of condoms and cots.

Lastly, the how-to: First, if you want to insert something anally, be sure that it is attached to something that will always allow you to pull it out safely. Fingers and penises are fine, but certain sex toys are not.

Don't insert an egg-shaped or bullet-shaped vibrator, especially if it has no cord. I don't recommend you insert vibrators of those shapes even with cords, since the cords can detach and leave the vibrator behind.

What's the issue? The vagina is a cul-de-sac -- things can't get lost in there. The anus is more like the beginning of a thruway, and a lost item will definitely require an immediate trip to the emergency room for removal. (If this happens to you, do not wait in hopes that you can pass the object out with a bowel movement.)

The safest toy to insert often comes as a vibrator attachment and is shaped like the letter "Y" -- one upper branch of the "Y" gets inserted and the other part stays outside. That way, nothing can accidentally slip in. Another safe vibrator attachment has a narrow part that can be inserted up to a flat ridge, beyond which the diameter of the attachment increases substantially. Avoid using the commonly advertised "facial vibrator" that's shaped like a phallus -- if it's well-lubricated in the hands of a sexually excited person, it could accidentally slip inside.

Second, always let the insertee control the depth, duration, and pace of the insertion. If you're by yourself, that's simple. If you're with a partner, be sure he or she understands that guideline when you're sexually playing in this manner.

One way to learn to be comfortable with anal play is to experiment by yourself with a vibrator to find out what feels pleasurable to you. Then if you introduce it into partnered sex, you'll be able to offer guidance to your partner along the way.