underwhelm's Journal: .plan (former, part 1)

Oh, Dear!

    I had heard the line "Johnny so long at the fair" many times before,
but I never knew what it *really meant. It all started shortly after my
divorce, when I started going back to the gym to tone my slim 30 year old
body back into the shape it know when I was a runner in college. Not that I
had too far to go, of course. I still turned heads at the office and
have had many young interns comment on my womanly curves. Now that I was
available, these idle suggestions and subtle glances turned into more a
intruiging and present concern. I wanted to give them a real reason to
talk around the water phallus. I mean, cooler.
    For the first week I would meekly enter the gym and find a quiet corner
of the woman's locker room to disrobe. Despite their solid form and
satiny skin,I didn't want anyone to see my shapely runners legs that had
fallen into disuse. Not to mention my full breasts that had made running
cross country that much more difficult. I remember afternoons in the
locker room before a meet, when the entire women's team would rub my
chest and nipples for good luck. They figured that if a woman with
knockers my size could run a few miles and still have the stamina to have
sex with all the boys that I did, they could do the same. And did they ever!
    But I digress. After I had settled in and become a familiar face to
the regulars (stories for another time), I felt more comfortable
stripping in front of the women in the locker room. But was I in for a
surprise!
    I met a woman named Persniferous. She had a figure like mine, except
she really had the muscles packed on. Her lustrous blonde hair fell all
the way to about her rock hard ass. I couldn't tell which made me drool
more, but neither one of those features could compete with her impeccable
feet.
    Just then, Rod and Petar stormed into the women's locker room.
Persniferous shucked her clothing revealing the most clean shaven genital
region I had ever been witness to. "Persniferous!" I exclaimed. "That
is the most clean shaven genital region I have ever been witness to!"
    Rod wasted no time. "Persniferous, I want you to have intercourse with
me," Rod suggested, "this being the case, it is certainly fortuitious
that I have become physically aroused. As may be apparent, my penis has
become enogorged with blood."
    "Of course," Persniferous responded, "As a woman I am fully aware when
a man's penis needs attention. Call it a sixth sense."
    Nothing could have prepared me for what happened next. Petar tapped me
on the shoulder from behind! I had no idea that he was behind me.
During Rod and Persniferous's intruiging dialogue concerning human needs
and feminine insight, Petar must have snuck around behind me. I was
suriprised. Needless to say, I blew my load.

THE END

PS - By this time, Persniferous had come 6.02 x 10^23 times.