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Journal Surak's Journal: Weekly Recap(tm): What the flaming stick of fsck? 32

Journal by Surak

Weekly Recap(tm): Because enquiring geeks wanna know!

For all those who I told and *ahem* forgot, it was Surak's birthday on Sunday. He's 31.

jawtheshark returned from his alien abdution this week. While jawtheshark was quoted as saying "that my absence was not accidental," mumbling something about it being his "2600 post," we all know that jawtheshark was abducted by the same aliens that took FortKnox and SlashChick around the same time.

Red Warriorwas busy talking about something mysteriously referred to only as FTW. Nobody knows WTF FTW means, but Weekly Recap(tm) suspects it stands for Frisking The Walrus. The Walrus is believed to be a codeword for GMontag, whom Red Warrior frisked while he slept.

Servo was busted for smoking marijuana in Alaska. Fortunately for Servo, personal marijuana possession is now legal in Alaska. However, Servo apparently also thinks that "2 megapixels is good enough for 8x10 prints". Lay off the weed, man.

gmhowell, Mr. Don't care, don't care, don't care was also abducted by space aliens, although for not very long apparently. But long enough to go to Mars, apparently. Or at least wonder why he went there.

Em Emalb shot and killed a retarded Rhesus monkey clone on Thursday. No one knows exactly why, but shortly afterward, he declared ownership of cyberspace. Fearing the fate of the monkey clone, no one was arguing at first. At least not until Em got "a catheter shoved up [his] pee-hole, then jabbed on through [his] spleen, then out [his] ass--sideways."

Speaking of Em's fate, this will happen to you unless you send in your pictures for the Slashdot Photo Contest 2 , hosted by FortKnox right now. I mean it!

SamTheButcher had almost nothing to talk about last week, and then on Sunday, apparently blurted it all out in one big butt-fucking animal assed chunk on Sunday. Does anyone know what the flaming stick of fuck he was talking about?

TechnoLust has been busy pimping himself out with hottub girl, the girl from church, a hot blonde waitress and GMontag. I always knew that TechnoLust was into those Christopher Walken types.

Saige has been all upset about life in our anti-Christian America, And she has embarked in a new career in vehiclular art. So that's what the tank is for.

Bethanie has been a little too quiet lately. Weekly Recap suspects she's up to something. Maybe involving old fogeys and parades...hmmm...

Daoine wants to see your ID. She promises that she has no ulterior motives.

SolemnDragon has decided to start a cooking show. First, she teaches us all about cast iron, now she's teaching us french fries and grease fires. Sources close to Weekly Recap(tm) and SolemnDragon have said that Sol's insurance company is cancelling her renter's policy. Especially after she nailed this nastygram to her neighbor's door. Sol may have to take up having loud, screaming sex at 3:00 a.m. just to get even. (BTW, Sol ... I apologize if I haven't gotten back to you on some e-mails we exchanged, but I've been busy working overtime. Things are slowing down this week at work, so ... expect those interview questions! ;)

LadyGuardian came out of the broom closet this week and announced that she's a witch. Well, okay, maybe she plays one on stage or something. (Sorry, I couldn't resist. ;)

Get your web hosting from Simpli.biz, just 'cause Erica's cool.

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Weekly Recap(tm): What the flaming stick of fsck? More

Weekly Recap(tm): What the flaming stick of fsck?

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  • Oh well... It's still Monday somewhere. ;)
    • Doesn't matter, I'm still up. I just sent you an email... hoping you'd post this tomorrow, but I guess it will have to wait until next week. That will give you PLENTY of time to come up with something. :-)
      • It'll be in next week.

        Hey, Bethanie: once you post it on Slashdot, it's fair game!

        muahahahahhahahahahahh....
        • Be my guest. I say nothing that isn't pretty much pubic knowledge anyway.

          Oh... make that pubLic(k?) knowledge. ;-)

          ....Bethanie....
          • That reminds me... I need to get some toothpicks ... ;)

            • Don't forget the breath mints.

              ....Bethanie....
              • Well, I eat Altoids (both cinnamon and peppermint) like there's no tomorrow. I dunno. One day I got some and I instantly got addicted... it's like crack for me. ;)

                • Hey -- that makes me think of something. Did you hear about how Monica blew Willie while sucking an Altoid? It was supposed to impart a tingly sensation or some such thing to the experience.

                  So far I haven't really been able to duplicate any particularly commendable results.

                  Of course, the whole thing was something I read in Cosmo years back, so you gotta take that for what it's worth. They are, after all, the magazine that suggested that biting a man's scrotum was a huge turn on (not to mention oral sex
                  • Biting a man's scrotum is supposed to be a TURN ON? While I've never tried it, I'd have to think that that would rather HURT!

                    I don't know about the whole thumb thing, but some amount of light anal play while getting oral can be, in fact, quite the turn on. Actually the spot for ME personally is the 'taint'. If you don't know what that is, look it up, I'm NOT going there.

                    • I think the biting was supposed to be very light.

                      And of *course* I know what the "taint" is, you silly!! I've given BIRTH, or did you forget!

                      Sheesh!

                      ....Bethanie....
                    • That still doesn't mean you know what I'm talking about. (Hint: I'm not using it as a euphemism for 'penis'. This refers to something else)
                    • 'T ain't what's in front, 't ain't what's behind. It's the "taint."

                      I gave birth; I read Spiritual Midwifery; I had planned to have *my* taint massaged & supported during birth (but I ended up having a cesarean). I *am* familiar with the taint. :-P

                      ....Bethanie....
                  • In my Altoids experience, the trick is to lightly blow on the Altoided part after slobbering on it. That's where the tingle comes from. She seemed to like it. ;)
                  • A gay man walks into a bar. The bartender tells him "This is kind of a rough place. You're more than welcome to stay but you may not be very comfortable."

                    The gay man explains that he is very thirsty, so he'll stay. He gets a Cosmo and heads to a table in an out-of-the-way corner.

                    The bar starts to get pretty crowded. In walks a man with a huge cowboy hat and an alligator under one arm. He announces to the crowd "I'm from Texas, and men from Texas are the toughest men in the world. I'll prove it. I

        • What are all these emails? There are people interviewing slashdot people? I hate feeling in the dark :-P
          • These e-mails are what we shadow dwellers of Slashdot have to rely on because there are no *private* means of communication available in this forum.

            It's the equivalent of engaging in a public chat conversation while having a little "private" one on the side, for additional commentary.

            In the dark? Hardly, FK -- come take a walk with me... I'll show you the dark, seedy underbelly of JEs, baby. ;-)

            ....Bethanie....
    • That's OK. You mentioned my name. And not in the same sentence with FSoF *or* fucktard! So all is forgiven.
  • Well, I don't know about you, but my momma always taught me that it's impolite to talk with my mouth full...

    ....Bethanie....
    • Ummm...what happened to your mental cystitis?

      BTW, folks, we have Bethanie here to thank for the title this week. ;)
      • The mental cranberry juice of Weekly Recap(TM) is a wonderful thing!

        And no -- I *really* can't take credit for that. These catchy expletives are all Sam's doing. I just happened to make you notice it! :-)

        ....Bethanie....
        • Well...Sam for sure... but you pointed it out to me. I haven't been paying much attention to /. lately due to extreme amounts of overtime at work.

          That and my latest programming project -- reliability statistics. Yeah, I know, boring, but it makes money!
          • *My Eyes Are Glazing Over

            Sorry. Glad you're making money, but do you *really* have to talk about what you do to earn it?!

            :-)

            ....Bethanie....
            • That's MEGO. Mine Eyes Glazeth Over. Get with the program. ;)

              This *is* Slashdot, home of the technophiles, geeks, hackers, and the occassional 31337 skr1p7 k1ddi3. You know...News for Nerds. Stuff that matters. It's in the top left corner in case you missed it. ;)

              And it beats the hell out of standing out at the corner of 6+Woodward. ;)

              • Well, seeing as how, AFAIK, "MEAGO" is something *I* made up myself (I've never seen anything like it anywhere else) after countless detailed conversations with Hubby that started off, "Well, Honey, what did you do today?", I don't think you have any grounds on which to correct my use of the term.

                Like it says in my bio: I may not understand everything that's going on, but I can at least pretend to be interested. Sometimes I can only pretend so hard, ya know?

                So MEAGO it is then!

                ....Bethanie....
  • Comment removed based on user account deletion
  • The link to LadyGuardian's Witch Project is alas wrong. The link you posted is "http://slashdot.org/~Surak/journal/announcedthats he'sawitch" instead of the correct link [slashdot.org].
    • Fixed. Thanks for letting me know.

      If anybody finds broken in this stuff, let me know. I've been doing this stuff with more automated tools [sourceforge.net] lately, which has minimized my screwed up links and HTML, but I still screw up now and again. ;)
  • I have an entire section this week.

    I feel so damned important.

    Like a minor official in Saddam's court. Puffed up and full of pride, with a healthy mix of fear.

    Kinda like when you realize you put your underwear on backwards....two weeks ago.

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