Liora's Journal: 39 days, dewdrops, and speculations...

This weekend I was a greeter at church, my paternal grandfather's cousin's daughter-in-law threw me a bridal shower, I got to ride two hours each way to said shower with shimmin's sister and mom, ate at the original pancake house, got worried b/c my mother apparently got hurt in physical therapy (she said she broke her hip but the surgeon says the x-rays do not show that), I checked out the new pub in town and waited for hours for morris to show up there (new pub cool, morris being late, uncool) only to call him and tell him I was tired and going home, and I had yummy Tex-Mex food last night with shimmin. There, consider yourselves updated.

I have been doing a lot of rather weird thinking. Saturday, On the way to shimmin's parent's house to meet his mom and sis I had the windows down and this song "Romeo and Juliet" or something that the Indigo Girls do a cover of came on, only it wasn't them, so I can assume it was the original version, and the smell of dew and rain and cut grass and baled hay came into the car. I think I lived in the moment from then until I got to their house. Not in some other moment, like anticipating the future ones, or the ones that just passed, seconds earlier, but in straight up state reality. It's kind of interesting when that happens.

There's an Eagles song from Hell Freezes Over called "Learn to Be Still" that talks about that. I spent an entire summer in Washington trying to learn all about that, but I'm afraid I didn't really learn anything b/c I was running around all over town and busy all the time, dating the wrong guys, chasing after others, and although it was the summer after my having become a Christian, you wouldn't have known it except from my presence in church with my dad and his wife on Sundays.

But I had it down for that whole car-ride. And I had it down for a car-ride this morning that took me through my old stomping ground... the neighborhood adjacent to the house we lived in when we first moved here (which is now levelled) and the high school. I looked at the houses and the colours and the sounds (like the brickroad under the car) and the smells and all of those reality filter programs blind us shut down for my enjoyment. And yesterday, at kickboxing class there was just sweat and me and music and muscles and it was the same. I want more time like that.

What I really want though, is to be able to pray like that. To focus, to pray, not think and have to constantly remind myself to get back on track to praying. And to be truly present in that moment when someone is talking to me, rather than off in lala-land. Of course, there's one area of my life in which this happens consistently, and that would be when I'm spending close time with shimmin. It's impossible for me to be thinking "Man I love him," whilst thinking about something else.

Anyway, what are other people's thoughts about that kind of thing? Am I nuts for noting this inconsistency in my thought-life, or can the rest of you relate?

Liora and Shimmin

[Otter]

Out of curiosity -- you two may have the most Jewish pair of names (Hebrew on your part, one of those bad Hebrew/bad Yiddish hybrids on his) ever in a church wedding. Any particular reason behind that?

Not meaning to be rude, just curious.

Re:Liora and Shimmin

[Liora]

Liora's just my handle. I just like the name. It means "light" as in bright, not feather. I don't remember which language though, so maybe it's Hebrew as you say. I do read Jewish World Review though once in a blue moon... Shimmin certainly isn't Jewish. I didn't even know his name was Jewish... He and his parents are Christians. Interesting...

Re:Liora and Shimmin

[shimmin]

Shimmin is a Manx name. The family tradition, and I don't vouch for the truch of this but merely report for it being the family tradition, is that we were Simmons, but at some point in the distant past, a bishop named Simmons was placed over the Isle of Man who was so widely hated that the name was changed to distance ourselves from him. I don't know if that's true, but you do see a lot of variant spellings on Shimmin in the Manx records from about 15-something on.

That being said, you're not the first p

Re:

[account_deleted]

Comment removed based on user account deletion

Re:I'd say you're one of the lucky relative few

[TechnoLust]

Yeah, I was going to write something similar, but then I was distracted. :-)

Re:

[account_deleted]

Comment removed based on user account deletion

Uh..

[andr0meda]

..That would sorta be like my whole life.. it really seems like everybody arounde me is allways in a rush to get the next moment in perfect order. I allways have to force myself to rush and think of what's coming, instead of the other way around.

Nice for you to be able to break out for just a moment. It's something to treasure, but don't overdo it or it gets all messy and confusing and all :))

Carpe Diem!

Cheers,
i.