StefanJ's Journal: Stuff I want to find in my Amazon Gold Box

I don't know why I bother clicking on my Amazon Gold Box. I find its wiggling and shaking obnoxious, and I can't remember finding anything I'd ever order in the specials list.

(On a few occasions, I've peeked at the description of an item, more out of morbid curiosity than anything else. I think Amazon mistakes these peeks as interest, and thus skews my selection.)

Here are things that I would be pleasantly surprised to find in my Amazon Gold Box:

• Nanobots that would restore my bulging L-5 spinal disk to proper shape.
• A 1988 Honda Civic DX hatchback with A/C and prototype airbags. No miles. Mint in the box.
• A litter of sapient GMO coyote pups I can mold into the first minions of my Army of Darkness.
• A George Foreman Grill actually big enough to grill George Foreman.
• A case of Reggie Bars.
• A new copy of Tom Weller's Science Made Stupid.
• A little plastic plug exactly designed to fit into the overflow drain in my bathtub, so I can efficiently employ my plumber's helper and finally uproot whatever is plugging up the drain.

Stefan