probbka's Journal: Drinking's bad... mkay...

So, on this lovely morning/evening, I took a trip down to the lobby to get some M&M's. Upon my return to the wonderful fifth floor, what do my wondering eyes behold, but a little sign on the bathroom door! "Do not enter", it reads. My curiosity piqued, I enter, and am immediately blasted with a stench which recalls memories of frog dissection in 10th grade biology... then I see some poor student pratically swimming in his own vomit, lying face-up on the floor. And of course, I think, "What would Jesus do?"

Jesus would obviously turn his vomit into wine so everyone can party a little hardier. Not being of the magical persuasion, I decided that perhaps I should take some other action.

My Basic Aid Training course from 3rd grade suddenly flashed into my mind. Being unsure how I could help him with diagrams of my house and the best fire escape routes, I then tried to think of something else. Aha! CPR. Well, let's take a pulse. It's there. Good. Is he breathing? Looks like it. Sorta. But then when I poke him with this here cattle prod he doesn't respond... I'd better hurry up and do something, cause I hear alcohol poisoning can kill you so bad you can die from it.

So, I run downstairs in an attempt to find Somebody with Authority. They'll know Standard Operating Procedure, as I'm sure this happens on a weekly basis while I'm sleeping. Sure enough the staff resident handled it in a cool manner, calling up the paramedics, who promptly arrived and dragged off the unconscious mutton-head hanging onto their shoulders.

So, uh, alcohol is bad for you... mkay?

Mkay.