Jellybob's Journal: Love

This is going to be an all over the place journal, since I don't think I quite have things in a tidy line, but I wanted to get this out into words before I go to bed.

While talking with a friend on MSN this evening, I was suddenly hit with this:

Jon... I know I shouldn't say this, but... *Pauses.* I love you.

Which was... to say the least... quite a surprise.

However I'm now stuck in a bit of situation... I know that I feel a strong caring for her, a closeness, but at the same time, I can't say that what I feel is love - because I don't know what love actually is.

Strangely... or more likely not so strangely, something (I believe his name may be God), it's a subject I've been talking about recently.

Everything seems to be going so quickly though... a week ago, I was on the edge of talking enough painkillers to ensure I wouldn't wake up in the morning, and now... it's like someone beat me round the head with a stick, which has rearranged my brain cells. I feel... happy... really happy - I was walking through the park near my house tonight, looking at the stars, and just being amazed at the fact that they were put there by a God that loves me, so that I could look up at them and be amazed.

I really believe that this is meant to be happening how it is, and that I'm meant to be with [plays the random names game, and chooses Jaedyn, the name of her D&D character], but I also know that it was God who put this in an e-mail sent to me the other night, for this very moment:

don't make any decisions without waiting a day or two to see how you feel

so in a huge break from character for me, I'm going to actually take some advice, and do just that... I can tell you right now, it's one of the hardest things I've done in my life (and I've done some hard things psychlogically), but I also know, deep inside, that it's what I need to do.

Jon

Wow...

[TechnoLust]

I am so happy for you. If you are going to wait a few days, you should probably tell her you need time to pray about it and make sure it is the right thing and to not be offended by that. Some people would take a lack of a response as a rejection.

It always happens when you least expect it. As someone recently wrote me in an email: "Don't you just love the way God does things?" ;-)

Good luck

[jawtheshark]

I just hope for you she lives a bit closer to you than when it happened to me.... I actually got such situations three times and the only time I let it come closer to me it went wrong.

I wish you much strength, you'll need it.

An Idea...

[JobCenter]

I have always liked the idea that love is a journey, rather than a goal. You will learn a lot about yourself. Good fortune to you and Jaedyn.