Pussy Is Money's Journal: MEMO AC brand posting guidelines

Dear ACs.

First and foremost I wish to thank all of you. Thanks to your dedication and hard work, AC brand now supplies or contributes to nearly 71% of comment material and scores better on nine out of twelve leading metrics than non-AC brand comment material.

Even while rampant inflation has driven up the cost of even the most bloated and inane of our competitors' comments up to (+5, Insightful), the cost of AC brand comment material has remained flat over the years at an industry-leading price of (0, Offtopic). Of course we are all very proud of that achievement and want you to share in that pride as an AC brand employee.

But this is only the beginning. Todays fast-paced global market requires that we always remain on the lookout for better ways in which to serve our customers. It is not good enough that our customers are satisfied when we can be pleasing them. It is not good enough that our customers are pleased if they could be liking us. It is not good enough for a customer to like us, when he could be loving us.

Therefore, to further capitalize on the unique lifestyle experience that AC brand represents, we are seeking to streamline external communications in order to leverage the unique trust vector between AC brand and the target demographic.

To that end, AC brand publications shall henceforth abide by the following rules:

1) Write short sentences. Use periods. And leading capitals. Above all. Be reasonable.

2) pAnIk ATtTaCkcC!!!