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The Grossest Poll Ever

FortKnox (169099) writes | more than 10 years ago

User Journal 29

Sorry to steal a page from Em, but I'll do my own poll. Please keep in mind that this poll includes potty talk, so if you are easily offended or have a weak stomach, go ahead and ignore this poll. Otherwise:

You have 3 choices, no other (the 3rd choice is the cop out).Sorry to steal a page from Em, but I'll do my own poll. Please keep in mind that this poll includes potty talk, so if you are easily offended or have a weak stomach, go ahead and ignore this poll. Otherwise:

You have 3 choices, no other (the 3rd choice is the cop out).

If you had to choose one, which would it be:
A.) You have miserabe digestive cramps (like keeps you up all night in agony) 2 or so times a week with the nastiness that entails (eg: going to the bathroom).
B.) You have a remedy to A.), but causes almost constant bad gas (ie - there is a green cloud around your cube).
C.) This is too gross, and I ignored your warning and voted anyway cause I need to feel included. :-P

Which would you choose?

cancel ×

29 comments

I choose B (1)

MacBrave (247640) | more than 10 years ago | (#9000295)

I would just take massive doses of Beeno or something.....

Re:I choose B (1)

turg (19864) | more than 10 years ago | (#9001327)

Beano helps you digest certain foods without producing gas -- it doesn't necessarily help with other types of gas.

B all the way (1)

Em Emalb (452530) | more than 10 years ago | (#9000325)

I'd use my explosive Ass powers for Awesome.

Would you?

yeah, what Em said! (1)

mekkab (133181) | more than 10 years ago | (#9000668)

I'm with Em. Thanks for the laugh!

B (1)

eugene ts wong (231154) | more than 10 years ago | (#9000355)

@ least I wouldn't be the only 1 to suffer through this. If I'm suffering, then I'm taking everyone down with me. ;^)

Re: B (1)

FortKnox (169099) | more than 10 years ago | (#9000420)

BWAAAHAHAHA!

I'll have to remember that one :-D

Re: B (1)

dubiousdave (618128) | more than 10 years ago | (#9001595)

Eugene, that doesn't sound like you. I think you've been spending too much time in conversations with the rest of us.

Re: B (1)

eugene ts wong (231154) | more than 10 years ago | (#9004672)

Alright. I'll pseudomod myself down. ;^)

B) Gimme gas (1)

Tet (2721) | more than 10 years ago | (#9000406)

If it's a choice between me suffering and others suffering, I'll take the remedy, any day...

The book. (1)

SamTheButcher (574069) | more than 10 years ago | (#9000531)

Try it, man. :)

Re:The book. (1)

FortKnox (169099) | more than 10 years ago | (#9000894)

giving up food? Damn man... I'm ITALIAN! I can't just give up pasta and such. What's the book title and stuff? I'll at least read up on it... see if it'll convince me.

Stupid gas causing fiber... bleh.

Re:The book. (1)

Liora (565268) | more than 10 years ago | (#9000939)

Actually, I was about to step in here and tell you to do what Sam's doing. He already did though. Seriously, you should consider it. He's been doing really well for over a month. As far as giving up pasta goes, I suspect you could make your own wheat-free pasta or something that would be ok.

Re:The book. (1)

SamTheButcher (574069) | more than 10 years ago | (#9001259)

Thanks, Liora. It's at least worth a shot, FK. I have *some* gas now, but before I didn't have gas. Or if I did, I had to watch out. You may do okay just cutting out some things. I think I healed so quickly because I have such a mild form of colitis, but I'm sticking with it because I'd like to see if I can't fully knock it out.

Go here [breakingth...cycle.info] and at least just read up on the whys of the diet. Beginners section is good, then try the legal/illegal list.

You might be Italian, but you might also have to give it up anyway if it causes such trouble. With this, you might be able to fix yourself and get back to eating it. Like I keep saying, if it works, you're better. If not, you're no worse than you were before.

Re:The book. (1)

turg (19864) | more than 10 years ago | (#9001278)

"Breaking the Vicious Cycle: Intestinal Health Through Diet" by Elaine Gottschall

I think the book's pretty convincing but when it comes right down to it, the thing that makes you change your behaviour is not a good scientific explanation (which the book does provide) but deciding that the pain caused by the old course of action is greater than the pain caused by the new course of action. So you sorta have to be "desperate enough" to try this (i.e. even if you decide it's not for you now, if the pain of your current situation increases...)

Re:The book. (1)

ces (119879) | more than 10 years ago | (#9001841)

Well short of going the StB route (and I'm with you 100%, I love my carbs) you might want to try eliminating processed foods, corn syrup, and fast food from your diet. I'm not on any diet per-se but I haven't been eating these things much in the last 6 months or so and I feel much better overall. Not that I have any major digestive problems other than acid reflux.

Most people don't get enough fiber in their diet, unfortunatly if you are getting enough fiber you are going to be much more gassy than someone eating a steady diet of McDonald's. I have the same problem at times caused by my love of fresh veggies and whole grains especially brown rice.

Yes, and water. (1)

zedmelon (583487) | more than 10 years ago | (#9008093)

Water, water, water.

From 2001 until last year, I was quite dilligent about drinking water instead of soda. Sure, I had a soda every couple weeks, but I said dilligent, not fanatical. I felt great! As someone who never had a weight problem before, my sudden shift from warehouses to a desk job had me gaining. I lost around 15 pounds without making any other changes to my diet, habits, or lifestyle. At first, it was work, but after a while, the water began to taste good, and I didn't crave/miss the other drinks nearly as much.

In the past five months, I've slipped quite a bit, probably largely due to spending so much more time at home, where the better half is not very disciplined with beverages, nor does she care to be. At least she agrees that we should keep the kid's consumption on the lean side.

In addition to weight coming back, I feel more fatigued, my allergies bother me more than they did, and I have less motivation. Of course, I'd be high on crack if I tried to claim there are no other factors, but a couple days ago, I decided I'd had enough, and I'm buckling down again, renewing my commitment to water. To paraphrase what turg said above, the pain has reached the point of saturation.

Now where's my coffee...?

Re:Yes, and water. (1)

TechnoLust (528463) | more than 10 years ago | (#9008825)

I'm fanatical about my water. I drink way over 64 oz. per day. I haven't had cola in so long my throat burns when I think about drinking it. I feel a lot healthier now that I've been drinking water exclusively (over a year now).

And FK, I'd choose B if I had to.

Re:Yes, and water. (1)

SamTheButcher (574069) | more than 10 years ago | (#9009427)

the better half is not very disciplined with beverages, nor does she care to be.

That sounds familiar. I'd swear you were me, but you're not having employment issues and work from your house. ;)

This is also good advice, FK. Maybe start with the water and see if that doesn't help.

Re:Yes, and water. (1)

zedmelon (583487) | more than 10 years ago | (#9009729)

Au contraire, Mossherree'
Hell, I dunno any French.

but you're not having employment issues and work from your house.

That's actually WHY I work from my house; the same company laid me off 2x in 2 years. ;) Well not quite, but it's an uninteresing story.
And while I learned April 15th that there are some benefits to working from home, aside from setting one's own hours and being the boss, etc, if I find another admin job in COS, I'll seriously consider it.

BTW, bring her to Elitch's on Sunday, and I'll help you hound her to drink el agua.

Re:Yes, and water. (1)

ces (119879) | more than 10 years ago | (#9011189)

Water, water, water.

Ah yes, this is my problem, I really have to remind myself to drink water. Not that I'm drinking soda (icky corn syrup filled crap), coffee is my daytime poison of choice. No, I have no plans to give it up any time soon, acid reflux be damned (the coffee will go only after I switch to a low-carb, low-fat, low-sodium, vegan diet).

In any case I've noticed when I'm drinking enough water I tend to have less problems with acid reflux, gas, eat less, and otherwise feel better.

What kind of a poll is this? (1)

wheany (460585) | more than 10 years ago | (#9000563)

This has only one possible answer: B.

Besides, the isn't that gross.

If option B would have been something like "You have a remedy to A.), but you have to eat babies weekly," then it would have been pretty gross.

Re:What kind of a poll is this? (1)

Em Emalb (452530) | more than 10 years ago | (#9000844)

Holy shit!

I feel redeemed!

People complain about other people's polls too!

Not just mine.

YES!

The day (as usual) remains mine!*

*if that's ok with you, Wheany ;)

Re:What kind of a poll is this? (1)

subgeek (263292) | more than 10 years ago | (#9001285)

if you want to see complaining, read through the comments of some of the polls slashdot puts up.

FK, how bored were you to come up with this shit?

I'd choose B (1)

ErichTheWebGuy (745925) | more than 10 years ago | (#9000786)

because then people would stay the *fuck* away from me while I'm at work, TRYING to write code. Just imagine it:

End-User: My printer wont w -- [crinkled face] -- er, never mind, I'll go ask Mike.
Me: bwahahahahahahahaha

Re:I'd choose B (1)

Sqwubbsy (723014) | more than 10 years ago | (#9003478)

I always let a good one rip whenever a user I don't like or a consultant who tends to have 'ideas' walks into my cube.

B (1)

Safety Cap (253500) | more than 10 years ago | (#9001116)

Just cook up a BIG batch of 1) curry and 2) stinky fish (salmon or somesuch), then alternate your lunches. No one will ever notice the green gas.

B+ (1)

dubiousdave (618128) | more than 10 years ago | (#9001638)

Go with B, but get some of that underwear that deodorizes farts, or rig up your own with some activated charcoal and duct tape.

B) (1)

ces (119879) | more than 10 years ago | (#9001877)

But since I have a fairly high-fiber diet (not intentionally just the foods I really like are high in fiber) I'm already there.

Re:B) (1)

FortKnox (169099) | more than 10 years ago | (#9006671)

I'm on fiber suppliments. I chose B over A.
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