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Trollback for June 2004

TrollBack (544159) writes | more than 10 years ago

Robotics 12

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/ /\/\ \ (_| | (_| | (_| |/ /| | | | |..__/
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Issue 21 "Spidey Strikes Back" - June 2004 - Archive

Table of Contents

  • Format change for Trollback
  • Flamewar 9/11
  • Spider-Man 2 Reviewed (Reviewed)
  • I can watch ICANNWATCH
  • Sheetrock 2 Reviewed
  • The List
  • OSnews: Hotbed of Agreement

Format change for Trollback

You may notice some formatting changes this month; someone yelled rotate and we all switched desks. This month marks the return of Voodoo, our answer to Karma and a numerical approximation of just how black your magic truly is. Here's a breakdown of the new scheme:

Voodoo|(Score,Direct Replies,Total Replies,Percentage of Story) Name | Subject

Comment text summarized

Number of anonymous comments AC, Awards +stuff

The story percentage is the fraction of comments in the story which are nested under the linked comment. If you managed to Parent 50% of the discussion in the story, you'll see 50% here, and your Voodoo score will reflect this. Voodoo is also influenced by the +awards section, which we decline to further elaborate on. Our system for measuring Voodoo must not fall into the hands of crack reverse engineers such as Jamie McCarthy (played brilliantly by Ben Affleck) so for deciphering this section, you're on your own. Suffice it to say that every factor available is taken into account.
Note: Voodoo is calculated from a browser-cached version of the page, not by scripted interaction with the site. That means that late replies may be missed by our scoring system. Complaints? Let us know what you think of the new system by voting in our poll.

Flamewar 9/11

As we noted in last month's issue, class C subnet bans are in effect for anyone whose posts consist of "Bad Behavior". What is "Bad Behavior"? Well according to pudge, anyone who asks is a "doo doo head" [sic]. Trollback decided to fact check pudge's assertion:

[trollback@dotnetenabled faq]$ pwd
[trollback@dotnetenabled faq]$ cvs update
cvs update: Updating .
P com-mod.shtml
[trollback@dotnetenabled faq]$ grep -i "bad behavior" *
[trollback@dotnetenabled faq]$

Unsurprisingly, pudge has no idea what he's talking about. So what exactly is "Bad Behavior" on Slashdot? Turns out, "Bad Behavior" means, among other things, being a Republican, not entirely trusting Michael Moore, or asserting that self-described Op-Eds are Op-Eds. This is made abundantly clear in the most deliberate (and successful) troll of the month.

CmdrTaco decided that this month, "News for Nerds" included reviewing a highly charged political movie and noting that it "speaks much truth", on the front page. This is the guy who won't post stories on Slashdot about Slashdot because it's not "News for Nerds". This 3200+ comment flamefest generated all the histrionics you'd expect, with one interesting caveat: anyone who questioned Moore's impartiality was moderated Troll, and thereby subnet banned from the site. This is, in a nutshell, the very definition of "Bad Behavior" - disagreeing with CmdrTaco's politics. To quote from their beloved FAQ:

"The Slashdot Editors have unlimited mod points, and we have no problem using them."

Bad Behavior indeed. Here's a quick guide to understanding how bad the problem is:

  1. Edit your comment preferences
  2. Set the following "Reason Modifiers":
    Insightful: -6
    Offtopic: -6
    Interesting: -6
    Flamebait: +6
    Funny: -6
    Troll: +6
    Informative: -6
    Redundant: -6
  3. Set your browsing mode to 4,Threaded,Highest Scores First

Now click on the F911 story. You will basically only be reading Republican points of view now; these are the only people who got moderated down. In a story which was basically an open invitation to political discussion, with a highly polarized electorate, the political faction that agreed with the editors was moderated up, while the political faction that disagreed, no matter how calmly presented, was moderated Troll/Flamebait and banned from posting to the site. And moderation is anonymous, so we'll never know who did it.

Now and then trollback gets email from people who don't understand why we publish our magazine. We don't want to come down on either side of the F-911 debate (except perhaps to say that we consider Mr. Moore living proof that you can troll for a living) but we do think that trying to use Perl to silence your political opposition might not be Fair & Balanced. Blatant flamebait posted as a story? Your political opposition moderated out of sight and IP blocked from posting? And remember, it's not censorship!
Vive le resistance!

Update: An alert reader has pointed out that while nearly every anti-Moore poster was modbombed into a subnet ban, pro-Moore posters who linked to the websites of holocaust deniers as evidence escaped the carpet bombing. Yes indeedy, Stuff that Matters.

Spider-Man 2 Reviewed Reviewed

Bonch got his review of Spiderman 2 posted to the front page of Slashdot, the only comment being "Thanks to bonch for this review". Sadly no one remembered to thank Google for not being consulted, as this review had been written and posted the day before at As legions of Slashbots began to moan about the plagiarism, the story stayed unedited on the front page until it reached the very bottom, at which point a retraction was posted. Bonch wins Trollback's Bayesian Filter Food Award this month, proving once again what an effective anti-trolling tool a Bayes filter would be.

I can watch ICANNWATCH

Near and dear to our hearts is ICANNWATCH, a Slash-based site devoted to meticulously monitoring ICANN for signs of abuse. Now, we love an Internet crank as much as anybody, but unlike Slashdot, we're pretty sure that ICANN's ethics are unassailable. Nevertheless, it seems they've got a problem over there with something called "Anonymous Posting". Switch to -1 Nested to see some of the best...

Sheetrock 2 Reviewed

Yes it's true, Sheetrock is back. Posting from behind enemy subnet lines, you'll note he found a way to keep his powder dry and make an appearance in this month's List.

The List, now with voting!

198|(2,17,84,7%) AKAImBatman | "Tactical Flexibility"

What I'd like to know is, what kind of tactical advantage does a railgun bring? Sure, it can hit a target some 200+ miles out, but so can a missile. Missiles also have the advantage of being self-guided. All this thing is, is a way to build a more powerful battleship. And yet, the U.S. has put all of its Battleships on active reserve. In their place, they've been deploying missile carriers at a lower cost and higher degree of flexibility.In short, what does the railgun bring to a Real [cont]...

  • 18AC, Awards:+67acct+7low+5bab+20mod

175|(4,5,86,15%) Lyssa Watson | "Just Great..."

A key benefit of the e-Plate is that the tag provides an encrypted and secure ID code which is registered in the UK Ministry of Transport's vehicle database. This code prevents tampering, cloning, or other forms of fraud that can currently happen with camera-based systems. Additionally, the e-Plate is designed to shatter if anyone tries to remove or otherwise tamper with it, and the tag can be programmed to transmit a warning if any attempt is made to dislodge the plate. They said tha [cont]...

  • 16AC, Awards:+70acct+6low+25mod

161|(5,10,85,7%) adequacy | "In the land of empty tanks"

Cyclists are gods.Fuckin bring it on.

  • 12AC, Awards:+74acct+4low+12mod

159|(5,29,73,10%) Anonymous Coward | "This is another reason why C should be deprecated"

Gentlemen, the time has come for a serious discussion on whether or not to continue using C for serious programming projects. As I will explain, I feel that C needs to be retired, much the same way that Fortran, Cobol and Perl have been. Furthermore, allow me to be so bold as to suggest a superior replacement to this outdated language.To give you a little background on this subject, I was recently asked to develop a client/server project on a Unix platform for a Fortune 500 compan [cont]...

  • 35AC, Awards:+39acct+4bust+1low+19mod

131|(1,9,73,10%) Anonymous Coward | "Re:Absolutely Stupid!"

DVDs are manufactured with recyclable plastic. It's your fault if you buy this and don't recycle it. Only you can prevent forest fires.

  • 13AC, Awards:+60acct+1low+22mod

119|(2,14,41,17%) Tim_F | "Correct me if I'm wrong"

But an F/OSS hacker has taken a company's proprietary work and made it available for free, even giving it a similar name.Why is this a good thing?If F/OSS developers want to speed up Linux, the corporate environment is where they should be looking. By doing this they have enabled corporations to get something for free which could cause a company (and a lot of potential Linux users) to go out of business.How are the developers supposed to feed their children if they're unemployed? [cont]...

  • 12AC, Awards:+29acct+2low+1bab+12mod

119|(4,14,47,23%) Sheetrock | "Worth it?"

While the iPos looks nice, and admittedly has the best interface of all the MP3 players (owing to the simple design Macintosh has become a master of), is it worth dropping a couple hundred on it? I've heard of two design flaws now -- both of which they seem less than inclined to fix beyond a short period of ownership -- and have noticed that PDAs in a similar price range can do MP3, video, and even word processing. If it was reliable I'd buy one tomorrow, but are they yet? [cont]...

  • 6AC, Awards:+41acct+1low+12mod

114|(0,22,53,4%) Anonymous Coward | "Sorry, no."

Java Faster Than C++?No, it isn't. It's much slower.I wrote a program that simply counts to 10000 and then quits. Time from double-clicking the icon until when the program exits: C++: 0.5 secondsJava: 20 seconds How hard is that?

  • 15AC, Awards:+38acct+1low+15mod

91|(3,10,46,3%) b.foster | "The lesson to be learned here" to hire a good lawyer. Hint: a lawyer who advises you to settle when you have done nothing wrong is not a good lawyer. Most lawyers are too lazy to take cases that they do not understand, which explains why so many tech-related cases wind up costing the protagonist money. This is even worse in the criminal law arena, because these lazy attorneys can cost an innocent man his freedom. IMHO there is no excuse for this, but it happens every day. Case in point: my roommate [cont]...

  • 7AC, Awards:+39acct+1low+6mod

87|(3,15,33,3%) Exmet Paff Daxx | "Overturn Betamax?"

My reading of the bill is that the law would not overturn Betamax so much as explicitly prevent Betamax from being applied to digital media. Betamax and VHS were both analog formats with cumulative degradation, that is, a copy of a copy was degraded, and at enough generations the quality would be unusable. Perfect digital copies, however, do not have this limitation, and it is merely common sense that they should be covered by a different law. Betamax was a Supreme Court decision, and [cont]...

  • 10AC, Awards:+23acct+4low+7mod

83|(0,23,38,3%) Exmet Paff Daxx | "Typical liberal court"

Despite the first amendment, there are restrictions on what you can say in America. Now, I understand that this bill is not worded as well as it could have been. A sensible restriction would be self-classification of pornographers into a .XXX TLD, with jail time and other punishments only for those who attempt to sneak into .COM and others. This would allow respectable ISPs such as AOL to block all pornographers simply by blocking [cont]...

  • 12AC, Awards:+26acct+6mod

77|(2,10,41,7%) WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWX | "That's cool"

It's good to see Microsoft trying to get on board with at least the spirit of Open Source.

  • 11AC, Awards:+30acct+9mod

65|(-1,7,23,7%) Dozix007 | "I Love Terminal Emulators"

I can't count the number of times a Terminal Emulator has either saved me from boredom, or prevented me from booting into Windows. Nothing like playing Crusader or Warcraft II in Linux.

  • 7AC, Awards:+16acct+1bust+3low+1acup+14mod

61|(1,9,24,2%) Midnight Thunder | "Luckily this is the US"

Luckily this is the US, otherwise we would be considering sanctions and maybe even sending UN inspectors.I know this sounds like a troll, but just think about it for two minutes.

  • 7AC, Awards:+17acct+2low+10mod

53|(2,8,25,20%) Milo of Kroton | "Is not"

Faster importantless? With 64 bit processing power for all available by athlon 64 made available that works with 64 bit yes immdiately we would switch. These chip make futiliity. Why make processors of like these new when you can improve on 64 bit? The battle is to will be lost to Athlon without 64 bit competition by.

  • 11AC, Awards:+14acct+7mod

39|(0,7,18,7%) Exmet Paff Daxx | "Confirmed: Architect not a verb" : 1. One who designs and supervises the construction of buildings or other large structures.2. One that plans or devises: a country considered to be the chief architect of war in the Middle East.I mean, it's not even a second meaning. It's just plain English abuse. I hope this Zdziarski guy's paper is decent, since he's pretty tripped my spam filter from the gate.

  • 9AC, Awards:+9acct+8mod

37|(0,4,13,56%) Anonymous Coward | "Important note:"

The passing lane is for passing, and the law of the passing lane is this: Slower Traffic Always Yields To Overtaking Traffic. She couldn't pass you, because overtaking on the right is illegal. By blocking the passing lane, you've gone ahead and blocked the entire freeway to anyone who obeys the law.You were in the wrong, she did the right thing. If it were me, I'd have shot you.FYI.

  • 2AC, Awards:+11acct+1bab+1mod

34|(3,8,11,3%) Milo of Kroton | "Yes, fast"

But what cost? Only government would want new technology this fast, maybe your NSA, that around codebreaking.

  • 3AC, Awards:+8acct+1bust+1broken+5mod

32|(3,8,17,5%) Milo of Kroton | "Greatness!"

I am for cannot waiting able frequency to this have! I too am so greatness compression going to get. I am ask: can use this games? UT2k4 is good. It is very big game however maybe some for people. Can this technology fast enough for gaming be?

  • 12AC, Awards:+5acct+4mod

30|(-1,9,11,1%) Sheetrock | "Go back to basics?"

This brings up a complaint I've got with the way the industry works nowadays.

As a programmer, I feel the continual march of progress in computing has beenhampered as of late because of a major misconception in some segments of thesoftware industry. Some would argue that the process of refinement byiterative design, which is the subject of many texts in the field -- extremeprogramming being the most recent -- demonstrates that applying the theory ofevolution to coding is the most ef [cont]...

  • 6AC, Awards:+5acct+1low+1mod

29|(-1,5,14,2%) Exmet Paff Daxx | "That is correct."

BMW parts are much harder to fence, as car thieves steal cars for their parts, and the market is entirely an economy of scale. The more popular a car, the more the car is worth. Which is why BMW has never made the most stolen car list []. The parts to a Honda Accord, for instance, are worth a lot more and are easier to sell.Of course, stealing an iPod from a BMW doesn't mean you have to steal the whole car, just smash the window. This will be a huge boon to radio thieves, as the [cont]...

  • 5AC, Awards:+9acct+5mod

25|(4,5,7,1%) Exmet Paff Daxx | "Ugh"

I wonder if they have plans to move this into other, higher quality vehicles in the future? While I admit that BMW's are very expensive and prestigous, independent car reviews like Consumer Reports always give them the lowest possible marks for reliability, a key indicator of quality. Any chance they're going to port this to high quality makes such as Nissan, Honda or (the king of reliability) Toyota?Before anyone flames me -1 Troll or something, here's a link [] to [cont]...

  • 0AC, Awards:+7acct+1low+2mod

18|(-1,2,12,6%) hkhanna | "Steve Wozniack's Son"

Steve Wozniack's son and I got in a fight at a Jack-In-The-Box in Los Gatos, California last year. He told me to go back to Iraq (I have brown skin color).I would have kicked the shit out of him but he had a bunch of his buddies from Los Gatos High there and I only had a couple friends with me. The cops showed up really soon so it was all over anyway.

  • 8AC, Awards:+4acct+4mod

OSnews: Hotbed of Agreement

OSnews, a highly moderated forum, is pretty much troll-proof. We think. On the other hand, there might be some exceptions. An alert reader has sent in the following links:

Coming next month: The GNAA captures some truly unbelievable screenshots!

That's it for this month. As always, email your links to trollback at ziplip dot com. Subscribe to Trollback Magazine by befriending; Slashdot will notify you of upcoming issues! And please remember,

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Classic! (2, Insightful)

FortKnox (169099) | more than 10 years ago | (#9635357)

We don't want to come down on either side of the F-911 debate (except perhaps to say that we consider Mr. Moore living proof that you can troll for a living) but we do think that trying to use Perl to silence your political opposition might not be Fair & Balanced.

BWAAAHAHAHAHA! This is the best sentence I've read in months! BRAVO TROLLBACK!

Re:Classic! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#9671203)

Yes, it's very subtle. Thanks for pointing it out!


GNU/Propz (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#9635738)

Massiv propz 2 mah main man Trollback doin' some great shizzat wit da monthly. Shout-out 2 da GNAA ( ror @ da Tiger stunt yo ! ), Bonch, Sheety and y'all OSNews trolls, spread da love !

Best. Trollback. Evar (1)

Blackneto (516458) | more than 10 years ago | (#9637210)

Love the new format.
the editorial quality surpasses 98% of internet rags.
It's got a beat and I can dance to it.

10 out of 10 records Dick.

Trollback improvements and Republicans (1)

John Harrison (223649) | more than 10 years ago | (#9638521)

I think the new format is great. It saves me from clicking on every troll.

As for "bad behaviour", Republicans, F911, and Pudge, you might want to check out Pudge's journal. Especially note the most recent one which touches on all these topics and contains an extended thread where he and Jamie go at it. This happens every few months and each time Jamie comes out looking like a fool in my eyes. You might even consider Jamie for your next Trollback, but I doubt that JE posts qualify.

In any case, you seem to have implied that Pudge supports anti-Republican code or moderating on /., which is odd since he is a vocal Republican.

Trollback responds! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#9638611)

We meant only to imply that pudge was incorrect in reading the FAQ, and that the overwhelming majority of Republicans in the Moore story got moderated to the point of being banned from posting. Who knows who was wearing the "Daddy Pants" that day (SlashTeam code for "actually working") and was actually moderating? Who knows if the moderations were done by editors or by users? We try to remain objective when possible.

We apologize for any lawyerly lies, and remember: pudge can be a Republican on Slashdot. Because editors cannot be subnet banned.


Cool (1)

britneys 9th husband (741556) | more than 10 years ago | (#9639810)

37|(0,4,13,56%) Anonymous Coward | "Important note:"

I didn't realize Journal Entries were eligible. Nice troll -- imagine how many bites it would have gotten had that been a front page /. article.

Btw I like the new format, and the percentage of the discussion is an interesting statistic. There should be an award for anyone that can get replies to their troll to account for over 50% of a discussion.

Hi. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#9648198)

Girls don't like you.

no yuo!! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#9648621)

Trollback (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 10 years ago | (#9649654)

People generally have strong views about Mr. Trollback. As a preliminary, I want to knock some sense into Trollback. In a larger context, his heartless crusades remind us that acts of corporatism continue in our midst. This is all well and good, but he hates you -- yes, you, because you, like me, want to appeal for comity between us and him.

Here, too, we can see how he says that everyone would be a lot safer if he were to monitor all of our personal communications and financial transactions -- even our library records. Why on Earth does he need to monitor our library records? Here's the answer, albeit in a somewhat circuitous and roundabout style: I recently received some mail in which the writer stated, "On many issues, discussions with Trollback quickly turn into fights, and dialogues soon degenerate into name-calling." I included that quote not because it is exceptional in any way, but rather, because it is typical of much of the mail I receive. I included it to show you that I'm not the only one who thinks that in order to convince us that obscurity, evasiveness, incomprehensibility, indirectness, and ambiguity are marks of depth and brilliance, Trollback often turns to the old propagandist trick of comparing results brought about by entirely dissimilar causes. Even though Trollback gives flattering titles to his natural distempers, I have reason to believe that Trollback is about to put insecure megalomaniacs on the federal payroll. I pray that I'm wrong, of course, because the outcome could be devastating. Nevertheless, the indications are there that it has been said that I still wish briefly to take a position on the question as to what extent our attempts to provide some balance to Trollback's one-sided hastily mounted campaigns have so far served only as a divertissement for Trollback and his shock troops. I believe that to be true. I also believe that his favorite tactic is known as "deceiving with the truth". The idea behind this tactic is that Trollback wins our trust by revealing the truth but leaving some of it out. This makes us less likely to demonstrate conclusively that he should stop lying about how he is forward-looking, open-minded, and creative. Even if ruthless worrywarts join Trollback's band with the best of intentions, they will still fight with spiritual weapons that are as yawping as they are repressive faster than you can say "counterexcommunication". Not all, I hasten to add, do join with the best of intentions. As a general rule, appeasement is not the answer. But you knew that already. So let me add that Trollback had promised us liberty, equality, and fraternity. Instead, he gave us teetotalism, obstructionism, and fascism. I suppose we should have seen that coming, especially since Trollback claims that he is beyond reproach. I would say that that claim is 70% folderol, 20% twaddle, and 10% another immoral attempt to supplant national heroes with hateful, saturnine deviants.

All that we have achieved may now be lost, if not in the bright flames of voyeurism, then in the dense smoke of the jejune hatchet jobs promoted by naive goofballs. At first, you might be unsure as to whether anyone who was sober for more than an hour or two during the last five years knows that this is a problem long overdue for debate. But on deeper inspection, you'll certainly conclude that Trollback argues that his vices are the only true virtues. To maintain this thesis, Trollback naturally has had to shovel away a mountain of evidence, which he does by the desperate expedient of claiming that the moon is made of green cheese. Some readers may doubt that he is gloomy enough to twist my words six ways for Sunday. So let me provide some evidence. But before I do, let me just say that he claims to have turned over a new leaf shortly after getting caught trying to inure us to insidious, prodigal sexism. This claim is an outright lie that is still being circulated by Trollback's collaborators. The truth is that if we take Trollback's objectives to their logical conclusion, we see that when you least expect it, Trollback will understate the negative impact of opportunism. And there you have it. The intent of this letter is certainly not hatred, but a probing look into an obviously significant issue.

I like it. A lot. (1)

GNAA Goat-See (775677) | more than 10 years ago | (#9699896)

Keep up the good work, and visit us at #GNAA if you get the chance.

Ich liebe TrollBack... (1)

Adolf Hitroll (562418) | more than 10 years ago | (#9707669)

... and even more than Ninnle Linux ! :)
Incredibly good stuff.
Well DONE :)
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