bolix's Journal: Hi Ho. Its off to work I go. Again.

My experience of the 21st century dot-bomb economy was not as catastrophic as some. I kept my job, thanks mostly to my hesitation to jump onboard the gravy train. I will also admit to large components of fear and general cynicism towards the e-snakeoil business. I chose instead to stay with steady employment at one of the Big (soon to be Final ) 4. Big Mistake.

Everyone bought into the "New Economy". Joe Public dumped cash into the stock market and rode debt culture hard. Business poured revenue into oversold concepts and conceits and the canny "Fortune"-scale companies built internal development shops.

Stripping out the bullshit, the name of the game was to refactor traditional business models around a new customer relationship model. The most effective methodolgies used high-falutin' interfaces to simple forum databases and warehouse economies-of-scale.

Investment capital was never hard to find. The college-kid VC-millionaire Urban Myth was everywhere. Brain-Trust development shops and e-consulting sales/conmen rubbed shoulders and professed amazement in the media (new and old) that the financial higher ground had been ceded so easily, the e-diatribe having frightened the mature (naysayer) pundits into the wheatgrass.

From an outsider perspective, the profits and benefits were phenomenal. I watched as the clueless boasted of their latest Big Iron toy and the freshfaced lived lives straight out GQ. Meanwhile, i plodded on and made the best of my situation.

Whatever the reason for the collapse, it came and it hit hard. People who weekly used to offer me the dream jobs and salaries had to come to me for work. As time passed and the shitstorm continued to roll, the crunch affected the previously cushioned internal shops, everyone still employed knuckled down and tried to avoid the pink slip bingo. The previously scorned management wield(ed) large axes and no one was/is safe from their self-serving paranoia.

The large gruntwork operations were moved to Canada and India from the US. I worked on these projects and received the empty "attaboys" and worthless back pats as i shipped the expensive long-envied toys overseas. After working 60+ hours a week since 1995, i found myself working 90+ hours a week in the last 2 years. At only 8 months into the current fiscal year, i have already racked up 1.5 years work (assuming a 40 hour week is a 2000 hr year). Overall, I am being paid for less than half the hours i work. Adjusting the pay scale, i make $12 an hour. The economy will be used (yet again) to justify a below-inflation "raise" and no bonus. The powers-that-be will, of-course, profit nicely from their accomplished steerage of the pink-slip to their powerless underlings. I realize i am not the exception. It just hurts to know that I can quit and do 2.5 lesser paid jobs in the same timeframe and for the same money.

And then came Enron. And Andersen. In the rush to capitalise on 28000 peoples misfortune, the Big 4 cut heads and corners ruthlessly. The dot-bomb woes were forgotten. Employees are fired to make room for the cheaper and (more) desperate Andersen equivalents. It really does make the most sense - assuming you are morally bereft and ethically challenged. This is capitalism at its very best.

I had enough. I snapped at friends/family and was a fucking nightmare to work with. I could/can not profess any loyalty or interest in my employer or position. I applied and received a leave of absence - the maximum i felt comfortable applying for. Paranoia is, after all, a way of life. Welcome to the new economy, thank you Mr Grove.

Even after this one month off, I no longer care. I have decided to punch in what time i am asked to. I will swallow my pride. With no gravy, I am left on the shittrain. For my own fucking sake, I should have jumped.