aridhol's Journal: My neck hurts

from the spinning of my head.

Went out last night. Met A, W, and C at a karaoke bar.

Things progressed.

Now I'm confused about last night. I know that C is (was?) interested in K, my roommate. I know that K is not interested in C. I know that they haven't talked about it since Thursday, because K has been studying his ass off. It's not a case of C being rejected by K.

It felt so right dancing with C. I enjoyed being there. She seemed to enjoy it.

I went to bed last night completely confused. I know that she doesn't (didn't?) have those feelings for me. There was no real connection on Wednesday, as much as I wished for it.

I woke this morning, and the confusion wasn't lost. If anything, sobriety made it come in that much more clearly.

I finally braced myself to call. I talked with C. Because C was at A's place, I talked with A.

It seems that everybody is confused. C is confused about her feelings, and A and W are confused about what they saw last night.

Were C and I dancing last night, or was it the alcohol dancing? Did it work because we weren't stressed and nervous from first-date anxiety or did it work because we'd been drinking? Can it still work if we're sober?

I know I'd like it to work. But if it's just the illusion, I'll pass.

The guys in the barracks think I'm crazy. Maybe they're right. But I'm not going to base my decisions on what they have to tell me; they base their thoughts in this matter on what they see happening. I base mine on what I feel happening.

Unfortunately, all I feel now is confusion.

Re:

[account_deleted]

Comment removed based on user account deletion

Good advice from Sam/Crash

[johndiii]

And just be calm, and a friend.

Re:The best advice I can give is not mine

[aridhol]

Enjoy your time with her, but expect nothing more.

I was enjoying it last night. I feel like I was enjoying it too much.

If she hand't told me Thursday she wasn't interested, I would have taken the chance. But she did, so I was totally confused.

If I'd had a few more drinks in me, I probably would have taken the chance. If she'd had less and still acted that way, I would have. But I was too sober and clear-thinking, and she was drunk enough that I'd feel like I was taking advantage.

I really feel pi

have you learned nothing

[bouncingbean]

of my own pathetic attempts at relationships before D?!?!

Damnit man, shes jerked you around, twisted your feelings and made you feel weak and vulnerable.

Here is my solution, the only bad thing that can happen is that she gets creeped out and doens't hang with you anymore. Well Newfie land is small but not that small, you'll get over it. Anyhow to the solution:

Go for the kiss next time your with her. If she rejects you tell her to fuck off and you don't need this shit right now (which you don't,