N473's Journal: Well... I am in Wyoming.

Drove from my dad's place on 8 Feb to Albuquerque. Stayed a week with my ex. Parts were absolute hell. Parts I would not trade for the world.

Then drove to Denver. Stayed with a good friend and his fiance for 2 days.

This morning drove into Wyoming. I am holed up in a hotel. At least they have wireless highspeed, so I can stop feeling isolated. Got on the yahoo chat tonight and tried to meet locals, find out what there is to do here. Might have a lead on an apartment.

Tomorrow I take my physical. Then I don't think I do anything until Sunday when I have my orientation. Down to my last pack of smokes and money is running out. I hope I can get some cash before the car payment is too late or my cell phone gets turned off.

Transition time always sucks, but I think maybe a change of scenery may do me good. Nothing here reminds me of the past. Nothing. Same me, different spot, but new job and new town may better my outlook.

Here's hoping.

The past year has seen my biopolar brain spiral out of control. Mentally I have been places I had never hit before. I would very much like to be me again. Everyone who loves me is telling me to leave her be. Not take her calls. Cut her off. She still drives me insane. Literally insane.

I just want me back.

This is the main reason I took a job so far away and that requires so many hours. Throwing myself at work and meeting new people is what I think I need.

So many of my old friends are far from healthy themselves.

I turned 29 on the ninth. I would like to settle down and have kids. The last nine months have seen me with 14 different women. I gave none of them a chance. Four of them told me they loved me, but I would have nothing to do with them after that.

Here's to stopping that bullshit.

yay!

[blinder]

glad to hear you made it in one piece!

um... a week with the ex? hmmmph. its okay i can imagine that not being too terribly easy... but glad there were good moments too.

you've got plenty of time to "settle" down. really.

well, i hope you like the new job! i'll look to chat with you on IM next week. going to be busy this weekend.

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