Windows 99 Beer and Cigarettes 142
fire writes "I was listening to National Public Radio here in the US, and they've talked about a new beer called Windows 99. It is produced in St. Petersburg, Russia, and it seems there is nothing Microsoft can do. The producer exploited Russia's poor trademark law to trademark the name Windows 99 for all food, drink, and tobacco products. They also said that they will start producing cigarettes under the label Windows 99." See? I told you that Windows was bad for your health. Here's a link to an article about it taken from the St. Petersburg Times.
Re:Article Feedback: 1/01/100 (Score:1)
You're going to see a LOT of this in web-based stuff... classic mistake of prepending 19 instead of adding 1900 to the number. The standard localtime() struct stores the year as (year - 1900) so 1999 = 99,and 2001 = 101. This is a novice mistake that no one should make if they've read the llama book.
Re:buggy beer (Score:1)
So what? Try MS Windows (Score:1)
Re:Warning (Score:1)
Installation of this product may result in your computers unwilligness to function.
Slight rephrazing:
Installation of this product may result in the targets unwillingness to function.
And voila, it can be used for both Windows-the OS and Windows-the beer. :-)
Russian SoftRoulette (Score:1)
ps related links (Score:1)
http://slashdot.org/articles/99/12/16/1248216.s
http://www.hexnet.org/library/lt-start.html
http://209.24.94.208/mentos/
http://radiant.org/bubastis/deity/hemp.html
http://varla.tapehouse.com/~zebob/powerpro/mess
Re:I can see the beer ads now: (Score:1)
Re:how about Blue Screen Of Death (Score:1)
Chris
buggy beer (Score:1)
How would this fare in the US? (Score:1)
So the Russians should be able to get away with calling their beer Windows, but what about the knock off of MS's naming scheme?
pheer (Score:1)
bill
do this wherever, keep it up
Re:how about Blue Screen Of Death (Score:1)
Re: Jesus Was White You Asshole (Score:1)
( Barney is purple ) Then
Jesus
I love you, you love me...
Looks like they improved the logo (Score:1)
The Microsoft Programmer's Drinking Song (Score:1)
THE MICROSOFT PROGRAMMER'S DRINKING SONG
TTTO Jimmy Buffett's "Why Don't We Get Drunk"
Lyrics copyright 1999 Matthew W. Miller <mattm@infinet.com>
I really do appreciate the paychecks from dear Bill
Their jaws all drop in testimony to my codin' skill
But then the marketing gurus all start to file in
The icons are two pixels off, I gotta start again
CHORUS:
Why don't we get drunk and hack?
The best way to work for MS is with a monkey on your back
Pressures from all over, we surely do not lack
So why don't we get drunk and hack?
I've nearly got the spelling checker working sensibly
When Steve from next cube over comes along to say to me
"We're always losin' marketshare to that ol' wily Finn"
And I don't say a word because I'm three sheets to the wind
(REPEAT CHORUS UNTIL MANAGER WALKS IN)
Re:Gur hur hur (Score:1)
Re:Looks Like Slashdot has a Y2K bug. (Score:1)
I don't get it. (Score:1)
Re:I don't get it. (Score:1)
A good use (Score:1)
Buy a keg of Windows 99 beer and pour it over all your Windows' CDs, disks, manuals, everything Windows and burn it to oblivion!
Everything GNU.
Re:Disclaimer: (Score:1)
Re:Billennium??? (Score:1)
This is only the new millenium if we start counting from 1 BC...
Bender Futurama Spokesperson .wav! (Score:1)
-kris
Re:Where's the limit? (Score:1)
======
"Rex unto my cleeb, and thou shalt have everlasting blort." - Zorp 3:16
Re:Poor trademark laws? (Score:1)
Though it would be quite interesting if this wasnt in some country with such a sketchy idea of a 'law system', I'd love to see the progress and compare and contrast with the eToy thing.
No I'm sorry Mr Gates, you dont have a case.
Why not? eToys did it, and were a million times bigger!
Okay Mr Gates, on the day of 4th november, when you were in the fourth grade, did the other kids refuse to play with you because they though you were a geek?
Listen I dont see what this ha....
Answer the quetion!!!!! Did tey, or did they not, refuse to play with you because they didnt like you?
well.....yes.
There we go...now i dont like you, and I dont want to play, so get out of my court room.
But...
No buts, do you want me to tell the big kids to get you again....er, I mean, arrest you...
I want some (Score:1)
Re:Microsoft may just use this to their advantage (Score:1)
Every case of Windows 99 beer will come with a copy of Internet Explorer.
The windows version of Emacs will also stop complaining about beer in the fridge. However, Windows itself will complain if you don't have any Windows 99 in the house.
---
Re:Someone should make Linux-branded diapers (Score:1)
Re:I want some (Score:1)
Flashback: /. 1997 (Score:1)
This page [slashdot.org] starts with the following story.
Contributed by CmdrTaco on Thursday January 01, @01:25AM
from the happy-new-year dept.
While most of the rest of the world was passed out frompartying away 1997, some diligent hackers broke in toQuake2.com the popular Quake web site and replaced the homepage with first a pornographic image, and then this image sent to us by Alan Bailward.
_________________________
Re:Warning (Score:1)
Not offtopic (Score:1)
--
WorldServe Consulting [worldserve.net]
Re:Jesus was white, you asshole (Score:1)
Maybe there were two jesuses who were different people but spelled their name the same. One said his name like Gezus, the other called himself Hazuse. Gezus had white parents, Mary and Joseph and was white and had all kinds of adventures with a bunch of white guys.
The other guy, Hazuse, was born to Maria and Jose.
Heheh I bet I'll get flamed by the inquisition because I just implied that Joe inseminated Mary. Am I going to be tortured for eternity because I just called him diminutively Joe? Or does it not matter because he wasn't a saint?
I sure wish I knew what I was talking about. Any non-anonymous cowards have something to say about this?
Re:I want some (Score:1)
I think you will get bluescreens right after you drank it, ctrl-alt-dels in the morning and scandisk by noon.
Stock prices!! (Score:1)
---
That's easy... (Score:1)
Beer NT! (New Taste)
Re:Bill Gates'll keep his (Score:1)
Re:Microsoft may just use this to their advantage (Score:1)
Their marketing people might well be able to sell a square wheel to dolphins, but good luck to them if they try to do it when the killer whales are circling.
--
jtjm
Blah. (Score:1)
Useless Ponderings (Score:1)
I also eat McIntoshes (Score:1)
Downloadable? (Score:1)
Finally!!! (Score:1)
Re:Useless Ponderings (Score:1)
Gentleman, you can't fight in here, this is the war room..
Re:Where's the limit? (Score:1)
Re:Warning (Score:1)
Building Windows (Score:1)
penguin beer (Score:1)
penguin beer (Score:1)
Poor trademark laws? (Score:2)
1. M$ owns the rights to Windows x.x, Windows 95, Windows 98, Windoes 2000, Windows NT and they're all OSes.
2. If you want to produce a product with a similar name but not the same type of product there is no chance of confusing the consumer and there is no legal recourse that M$ can take if the name is different.
3. This type of think could have occurred in just about any country, not just Russia.
LK
Article Feedback: 1/01/100 (Score:2)
All those 1/01/100s look so nice and nifty, don't they?
New from MicroBrew (Score:2)
Why didn't they go with Windows 2000 instead? (Score:2)
Re:Stock prices!! (Score:2)
-----------
"You can't shake the Devil's hand and say you're only kidding."
Re:I don't get it. (Score:2)
-----------
"You can't shake the Devil's hand and say you're only kidding."
Marketing Slogans... (Score:2)
Windows 99.... refreshes the parts other beers don't reach (like the MSN homepage when you first install)
Windows 99.... Probably the best mugger in the world
Windows 99.... King of Fears
Windows 99.... It's Biller Time
Windows 99.... He who drinks Billy's thinks Willys
Windows 99.... Crash out with a fresh one
Windows 99.... End users wouldn't give a XXXX for anything else
Windows 99.... It doesn't get you drunk, leaves a foul taste in your mouth and costs too much but hey, your boss will like it!
I'll never assume that a rogue or a thief is a gentleman worthy implicit belief just because his attourney has sent me a brief, said I to myself said I - Gilbert and Sullivan
Re: (Score:2)
Re:Gur hur hur (Score:2)
NEWSFLASH -- Linux beer (Score:2)
"Like Linux, the 'source code,' or recipe, will be included on each bottle. We will also be selling -- at cost -- brew-at-home kits," a company spokesperson said.
When asked how they intended to make a profit from such a business plan, the spokesperson stated that they would "offer assistance with the brew-at-home kit, for a charge," and that "most people would rather buy a complete bottle anyway."
Linus Torvalds, owner of the Linux operating system trademark, was quoted as saying "It'd be nice to see Linux vodka beat out this other Windows product I've heard about."
However, not all in the free software community felt the same way. Richard Stallman stated that "this Linux vodka would have been nothing without my Emacs editor, used to create the recipe! And of course, all the other GNU tools used in its creation. I would like for it to be renamed as GNU/Linux vodka."
Company executives, however, seemed not to care much at all about Stallman's concerns.
When the "geek community" of Slashdot was asked, many comments seemed rather cryptic. Indeed, there were many posts reading only "F1r5t p0st!" or "Natalie Portman petrified and naked!"
Dear my! What are those things coming out of her nose?
Spaceballs!
Re:Where's the limit? (Score:2)
Windows underpants?
BSOD == Brown Streak of Death
======
"Rex unto my cleeb, and thou shalt have everlasting blort." - Zorp 3:16
Any russians? (Score:2)
Think about it. The ability to grind windows between your teeth and chew angrily for hours and hours. Suffering is much more important than death, and quite frankly, chewing on windows cds doesn't taste as good as you might at first suspect.
Throwing Stones. (Score:2)
Windows for Exterior Walls!
Aren't trademarks on common words not allowed? Seems like 'Windows' would have been defenestrated years ago. Maybe it wasn't because a computer window is not like a architectual window. But then again, windowing in GUI's has been around since...GUI's were invented (IIRC). Isn't that enough to get it tossed out the court
Unless you count a classic method of leaving a bar, it seems like the Russian trademark should hold more beer^H^H^H^Hwater.
Waiter! There's a bug in my Windows!
Actual Windows Beer Ad... (Score:2)
http://www.eseth.com/windowsbeer.jpg [eseth.com]
~@~
Gur hur hur (Score:2)
GOOD trademark law (Score:3)
--
how about Blue Screen Of Death (Score:3)
I can see the beer ads now: (Score:3)
Windows 99 - it will make you boot. And boot. And boot. And boot....
*This Will Be Moderated Up ButBill Gates'll keep his (Score:3)
Re:Gur hur hur (Score:3)
=)
Warning (Score:3)
Surgeon Generals Warning:
Installation of this product may result in your computers unwilligness to function.
Other Irreversible side effects: Internet Explorer
Windows 99 beer (Score:4)
Please keep in mind, if you install windows 99:
Driving under Windows 99 is an illegal operation, law enforcement WILL take an exception, and you will crash due to driver errors. This time, the BSOD is forever!
Dumb Jokes Alert! (Score:4)
I'll bet Microsoft executives are hopping mad!
This oughta set a record for beta-test volunteer sign-ups!
BSOD => BrewSki Of Death
Suggested motto: "When every day is just another excuse to crash!"
Suggested motto: "Had it with computer viruses? Behold the joy of yeast!"
Suggested motto: "Windows 99: start me up, and you'll definitely never stop!"
Suggested motto: "Our beer will make a grown woman cry, too!"
Suggested motto: "What, do you want to `go', today?"
(BTW, "hopping"...hops...get it?)
Now I'm looking forward to the press release from Microsoft claiming that the mere existence of "Windows 99" beer shows that it's not a monopoly....
linux (Score:5)
However, most college students have turned to "experimenting" with various strange substances. For example, snorting of Linux laundry detergent has become unusually popular in the last year, and reported overdoses have increased by more than 10000%. The popular detergent is imported from northeastern europe.
We went to visit Steve Jobs, permanent interrim CEO of Apple Computer, to ask him his opinion on these trends. He was smoking something wrapped up in a small piece of paper-- we didn't catch what. His only response was to giggle strangely, then mumble something about "hey man, at least my liver's going to be ok" and cough loudly. he then picked up a phone, called Avie Tevanian, and ordered the entire Apple campus at 1 infinite loop (including the grass) to be painted a bright pastel blue by tomorrow. He seemed very.. relaxed throughout the entire interview.
Meanwhile a certain professor at Berkeley University has been encouraging everyone to "Turn on, tune in, drop out" by using a substance called BSD.
Trip on.
Microsoft may just use this to their advantage (Score:5)