I Believe You Have My Stapler 583
yack0 writes "After three years of demand and countless calls, emails and letters, you can finally buy a Red Swingline Stapler. Hooray! As noted in this wall street journal article and confirmed by this page at the Swingline Stapler web site you can now pick up a Red Swingline stapler for merely twice the price of a plain black stapler. However, a colleague of mine says that the online order form is reading around $16 for his right now. Now all the cubicle dwelling prairie dogs can get one step closer to burning down the building." The red stapler has become some sort of cult icon at this point.
DOD version... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:DOD version... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:DOD version... (Score:4, Funny)
Re:DOD version... (Score:3, Informative)
And yeah - it's antenna does not revolve in a circle - it is a phased grid array. It does not have to move to scan target. It actually delays scanning, when it has aquired a target - a continues to beam in its direction for a while, it turns itself off in the direction of jamming bots.
I do not think B-2 will try to drop anything over a modern S300 site.. Even some tactical systems can get it.
My cube-mate had a case of Office Space (Score:5, Funny)
Ahhh office space, will you ever learn? (Score:5, Funny)
Lumbergh: Great.
Portwood: So um, Milton has been let go?
Slydell: Well just a second there, professor. We uh, we fixed the *glitch*. So he won't be receiving a paycheck anymore, so it will just work itself out naturally.
Porter: We always like to avoid confrontation, whenever possible. Problem solved from your end.
excuse me... (Score:5, Funny)
You leave me no choice (Score:5, Funny)
Ahhh Office Space (Score:5, Funny)
PC Load Letter! What the fuck does that mean!!
Re:Ahhh Office Space (Score:2, Offtopic)
Re:Ahhh Office Space (Score:4, Informative)
You have it backwards.
To be specific, it breaks down like this:
PC (Paper Cassette) Load Letter (Size paper).
This happens when you send a print job that requires Letter size paper, but the printer does not, or thinks it does not, have letter size paper.
This can be cause by having the wrong paper size in the printer, but is more commonly caused by those who insert the paper tray guides incorrectly. Many people mistakenly insert the tray guide for letter size paper in the A4 (our European friend's letter-size equivalent) slots, because they are close in size.
This causes a different sensor arm to be tripped, and the printer thinks it has A4 size when it actually is letter.
This is what can cause this error message. Either that, the wrong size of paper, or a broken sensor.
Re:Ahhh Office Space (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Ahhh Office Space (Score:3, Funny)
Nag.. eh... Nag... uh...
Not gonna work here anymore, anyway.
Re:Ahhh Office Space (Score:5, Funny)
In summary: INTERNAL SERVER ERROR, WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN!?
Re:Sad thing is, (Score:2)
Umm, Peter! Yeah. If you could go ahead and mod this up, that'd be great.
Re:But what does PC stand for? (Score:2)
Re:But what does PC stand for? (Score:2)
Good times. I didn't have the manual though, but figured out that Letter == Paper, and that I needed to Load some.
If you never saw the movie... (Score:5, Funny)
PETER GIBBONS
'So I was sitting in my cubicle today, and I realized, ever since I started working, every single day of my life has been worse than the day before it. So that means that every single day that you see me, that's me on the worst day of my life..'.
Re:If you never saw the movie... (Score:2)
nitpick - sorry (Score:2)
What about today? Is today the worst day of your life?
Yeah.
Wow, that's messed up.
All around the country... (Score:5, Funny)
Red stapler (Score:2, Funny)
(This post is certified by me, Anonymous Coward, and is guaranteed to be a 100% authentic beowulf troll post. The reader is hereby advised that imaginization of a beowulf cluster, in whole or in part, or in any combination, of the items in the story to which this post pertains, is fully sanctioned and endorsed by me, Anonymous Coward.)
Office Space creates Anarchy (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Office Space creates Anarchy (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Office Space creates Anarchy (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Office Space creates Anarchy (Score:5, Interesting)
Re:Office Space creates Anarchy (Score:3, Insightful)
Re:Office Space creates Anarchy (Score:5, Interesting)
No offense man, but grow some cajones. If they fire you, they fire you
One thing that was disturbingly true at my last place of employment
I know it's subtle, but "was" and "last" are past tense, indicating I am no longer working there :)
That story is actually more like enron meets office space. I had wanted to quit for about a year, but I had debts to pay and I wanted to stay at the job for atleast two years to look good on a resume. My boss and a official from accounting approached me one day telling me they were going to have the university write me a check and I was going to write most of the check back to them and that they needed to do this because they had paid me out of the wrong account :) Long story short I dont believe shit my boss tells me and the plan would have gotten me in *UBER* hot water with the IRS and NSF both whom the plan defrauded.
So I went to the universities Judicial Director (the university interface to the legal system), who hooked me up with a detective and a deputy district attorney, for whom I agreed to setup my boss for prosecution by completing the fraud under the supervision of the police. On two occasions I wore a wire to document the planning of the crime for the police... and now that my boss is either going to be fired, sentured, or jailed, I quit.
Is that enuf "cajones" for you? You really shouldn't use your +2 bonus for stupid comments.
Re:Office Space creates Anarchy (Score:3, Insightful)
Re:Office Space creates Anarchy (Score:5, Funny)
Except no Jennifer Anniston sitting on my face. (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Office Space creates Anarchy (Score:2)
"What's this? A movie night? What a great idea! What are you watching?"
Re:Office Space creates Anarchy (Score:2)
Re:Office Space creates Anarchy (Score:2)
Cultural Icon (Score:5, Interesting)
On the subject of red staplers, why has the post WWII workplace insisted on mono-color conformity? It seems almost a conspiracy to ensure that office workers be isolated from as much visual stimulation as possible. Is it so important that the occasional visitor/client not see a single clash of colors that offends their sensibility? It would not revolutionize the drudgery of the workplace, but more allowances for individuality and color can't help but improve the condiditon of those who must exist in that environment from day to day.
The whole "flair" concept at the Houlihans type restaurant carries the same theme. Even where modern business allows disorder, it cannot be individually expressive disorder, it must be carefully regimented and designed to communicate the corporate message, not a personal one.
The dot com bust has given added credence to those who actually advocate this kind of enforced conformity - they point to a free form, more open dot com workplaces as a symptom or cause of the crash, and are using it to crush any new proposal to create a more humanized, comfortable workplace. Just my two cents. Great movie if you haven't seen it.
Re:Cultural Icon (Score:2, Insightful)
No kidding. He was fantastic in "Band of Brothers" [imdb.com] [IMDB link] as Cpt. Lew Nixon. For anyone who may have seen the show, he was the hard-drinking pal of Major Winters, the noble and heroic leader of the company.
It was a great mini-series - hell, it was a great film - and Livingston was equally great in a second-banana role. He could easily have played it as the 'drunk heroe's buddy', but instead filled the role with humanity. He made a character who had comparatively little screen-time seem like a real person. I hope the real Lewis Nixon is toasting him with a tumbler of Vat 69, wherever he is.
Re:Cultural Icon (Score:3, Funny)
Heh.
Re:Cultural Icon (Score:2)
Because middle management isn't interested in productivity or the happiness/accomplishments of their employees. ALL that matters is every other Friday. Period.
Re:Cultural Icon (Score:2)
Colour means fantasy, free expression, fun and whatnot. Definitely not things you'd want to see within an office where you're supposed to work your ass off for the shareholders.
Re:Cultural Icon (Score:2)
Errr, so the pre-WWII workplace insisted on multicolored objects?
Re:Cultural Icon (Score:4, Funny)
Seeing as color wasn't invented until the late 1930's, how could it?
Re:Cultural Icon (Score:5, Insightful)
> the condiditon of those who must exist in that
> environment from day to day.
Wait..
how could this get a Score of 4? When Apple did this - they got beaten about the head and neck on slashdot.
this place makes no sense sometimes.
Re:Cultural Icon (Score:2)
It makes no sense becasue you are attempting to view slashdot as an entity in and of iteself, rather than a large collection of individuals. If you read through the parent poster's previous posts (not a bad tounge twister, that) as well as those of his moderators, I doubt you will find these individuals bashing apples choice of bright colours. If you think of slashdot as a large collections of free-thinking individuals, you will be relieved of the apparent distress that you seem to be suffering from reading different points of view in one place.
Re:Cultural Icon (Score:2, Funny)
The Onion:
Apple Employee Fired For Thinking Different CUPERTINO, CA--
Brent Barlow, 27, a software analyst and beta-tester at Apple Computer headquarters in Cupertino, was fired Monday for "thinking a little too different." Full Text [theonion.com]
Re:Cultural Icon (Score:2)
**£££'s in eyes moment** (Score:5, Funny)
Re:**£££'s in eyes moment** (Score:2)
what I want to know is (Score:2, Offtopic)
How come /. still hasn't posted a single article about the passing of Gene Kan [wired.com], but somehow a red stapler makes it to the front page???
????
5W1NG71N3 IZ 4 5UXX0RZ!! (Score:5, Funny)
Re:5W1NG71N3 IZ 4 5UXX0RZ!! (Score:2)
"the magic of product placement" (Score:2)
Real product placement, ie the one bargained for by marketing execs continues to be really annoying.
That is because marketing people have specific requirements for placing their product which tend to make movies look like commercials.
Swingline /.'ed (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Swingline /.'ed (Score:3, Funny)
alliwantismyredstapler (Score:2)
Obligatory Onion Reference (Score:5, Funny)
New Stapler Makes All Other Staplers Look Like Worthless Shit
There was no article, just a headline and a picture of a generic, black stapler.
Those are called "bullets" (Score:2)
.
save money and be more authentic... (Score:4, Informative)
The red Swingline stapler that Milton was so afraid of having taken away was never actually manufactured by the Swingline company; it was instead painted red by a crew member in the props department. However, following the movie's success on video as a cult film, the demand for red Swingline staplers (apparently as a symbol of quiet rebellion among cubicle-bound employees) was so great that the company began to sell the red Swingline stapler on its website..
---
So break out that red paint and make your own...
Re:save money and be more authentic... (Score:2)
Yeah. According to the story submission too. Or didn't you read that?
-a
Why Milton and Dilbert succeed (Score:5, Interesting)
Ancient cultures (like China and India) tend to emphasize on hierarchy and obedience rather than questioning and innovation. When immigrant bachelor developers stay till midnight everyday and come to work on weekends, they set the same expectations on everyone else. Anyone who leaves at six because he has a life is viewed as being less of a team player. Also, important technical decisions might end up being taken outside the normal working hours.
Things only get worse when, after a few years, these same people become managers.
Some other symptoms are (i) dependence on individual brilliance rather than a good system and (ii) concentration of knowledge within a few individuals.
I am not blaming anyone and certainly not all immigrant developers fit the above pattern, but there is a cultural aspect to work and I am merely pointing it out.
BTW, I came from India three years ago.
Re:Why Milton and Dilbert succeed (Score:2)
Re:Why Milton and Dilbert succeed (Score:3, Insightful)
When that one individual gets hit by a car and the entire company is fucked, that's a bad thing. Or when the brilliant genius gets headhunted and goes to a company that will pay him 3 times as much and give him a team of people to do all the boring stuff... of course, no one else understands the guy's system.
Real companies try not to operate that way. They force their geniuses to document their work so if all else fails, they can hire a lesser genius to take the place of the genius who leaves. Even if you're the genius who started the company, it's better if you document things so that you can retire young.
Re:Why Milton and Dilbert succeed (Score:5, Informative)
I was one of three westerners in a Chinese office (as in, moved-from-Beijing-a-year-before) for just short of a year, and the place burned me out faster and more completely than I thought possible.
Nobody, and I mean nobody, ever put in less than a twelve hour day, six or seven days a week. Even when there was no deadline, you were expected to be there. What was really happening was that nobody was really *working* that much, they'd just all adapted their lives around work -- they'd take long lunches and dinners, play at least an hour of ping-pong a day, have their kids would come visit at night, etc.
As an native American (although only a fraction Native American) with (IMO) a pretty solid work ethic, I looked terrible if I left "early" or said I couldn't come in on a Sunday for whatever reason. My boss called me on it one time, and I pointed out that I *always* met my deadlines and that I applied myself at work more than any of my coworkers. From his reaction, it was clear that wasn't the point -- I wasn't showing the proper dedication, defined strictly as spending time at work.
Anyhow, I got laid off last year after I told them I was going home to the midwest for Christmas (during a time with no pressing deadlines and using the company's posted holidays and a weekend). It took me five months to find another decent job, but not for one second did I wish I still worked there.
Re:Why Milton and Dilbert succeed (Score:2, Insightful)
Re:Why Milton and Dilbert succeed (Score:5, Interesting)
So let me tell you something - there are many, many Chinese and Indians who feel like you and I do. They tend to be silent because they are in a worse position than you. If you don't like a job, all you have to do is walk off to another company.
Take me, for example. I am working on a H1 visa. If I am laid off, the INS immediately treats as being out of status and my countdown clock starts ticking. Even if I get interviews (past the citizens and GC only companies) and a job, I still have to wait a few more months for my new H1 to be approved. Under these circumstances, would I risk telling people at work how I really feel? No. I work as late as anyone else and make sure I am always around when people are looking for me, whatever be the time
The H1 visa is a brilliant form of modern slavery that has the consent of everyone involved!
Roman History (Score:5, Informative)
It beat the conditions they had at home in Greece, but it really was slavery.
Unfortunately, Americans, being very provincial, tend to think only in terms of American style slavery, in which manumission was rare and unexpected. (Oh, and no one was really sure what to do with free slaves, except repatriate them to Africa.)
For more information on Roman style slavery, try reading the Masters of Rome series by Colleen McCullough.
The real problem with comparing things to the H1-B system is that there isn't anything exactly like the H1-B system. It somewhat resembles both indentured servitude [pbs.org] and Roman style slavery.
American style slavery was really more like feudalism, almost no hope of freedom or every raising your social status. [geocities.com]
Of course, it is difficult to compare the H1-B system to anything else, since it is a modern invention with its own rules and peculiarities. However, to dismiss a comparison with slavery, especially non-American slavery simply reflects a lack of knowledge of the history of the ancient world.
Re:Why Milton and Dilbert succeed (Score:3, Interesting)
Let me clarify. I love America. Ever since I came here, I have had a fabulous quality of life. My rights have always been well respected. That is certainly not my point.
Any capitalist system requires complete free will to function correctly, both on the part of the employer and the employee. The H1 work visa introduces an aberration. I was merely pointing that out.
When I said everyone, I certainly included myself. It is not really a revelation when you point that out.
not completely true (Score:2)
in certan cultures where people does not get fired too much (hint hint: asian country starting with "J">, it is actually opposite as what you say.
the rest is the same, though (the crazy long hours).
think about it... concentration on knowledge serves one and only one purpose -- job security. however, when job security is a non-issue (or, at least a LOT less of an issue than, say, in the US), knowledge gets shared plenty quick -- because the more you teach people to do stuff, the more they can do and the less (hopefully) you have to do. ;-) pretty neat eh? i think china and india cannot cope with the crazyness because of the cultural situation *and* lack of job security.
anyway -- not saying that other countries got it all figured out -- but at least it's working out better than you are describing in certain places. US work model has its own problems too -- heh... man don't even get me started.
Liquid TV--the birth of Milton (Score:5, Informative)
The skit basically showed Lumbherg and Milton having their classic confrontation about the stapler, moving his office down to the basement, and what not.
Judge made 'Office Space' from this skit.
Re:Liquid TV--the birth of Milton (Score:3, Informative)
I'm pretty sure that what preceded Liquid Television was Spike and Mike's Festival of Animation -- they were showing Milton clips several years before MTV, I think. Short Milton clips would appear between longer animated shorts. (BTW, those old Animation Festival films were absolutely fantastic; I'll never forget some of the animations they screened.)
-schussat
Umkayy? (Score:3, Funny)
Comment removed (Score:5, Funny)
Oh yea, SimStapler! (Score:2)
Staple away to your heart's content with no jams! Sorry folks, this one's for Pre-X Mac OS 9 and under.
_______
Peter -- Check Out Channel 9 (Score:3, Funny)
One of my favorite films of all time (Score:2, Funny)
If you liked Office Space. . . (Score:5, Interesting)
Shot in downtown Calgary, where the doozer habitrails are so advanced that, between interconnected malls, eateries, apartment high-rises and office blocks, it is entirely possible to NEVER go outside. (Presumably something to do with harsh Canadian winters. . .)
The film is filled with dark-humor about what happens when a group of co-workers make a three pay-check bet to see who can stay indoors the longest. A rather bent film, with weird-ass hallucinogenic scenes which I can entirely relate to. --Basically, take your time in such fluorescent, filtered air environments, and multiply by 100. Makes you double-think space travel, and that's a fact!
-Fantastic Lad
Re:If you liked Office Space. . . (Score:2)
Sounds interesting; couldn't find it in the IMDB though. Any info/links on it?
Re:If you liked Office Space. . . (Score:3, Informative)
I couldn't either until I searched for it on the web and found out who's acting in it, then searching for that actor on IMDB and looking for a similar title. The actual name of the movie is Waydowntown (one word!) and IMDB's search engine ain't smart enuf to tell the difference between 'Waydowntown' and 'Way Downtown'.
linky linky [imdb.com]
Two Words (Score:2)
I guess the server... (Score:3, Funny)
Has anyone ever said to you "Looks like someone has a case of the 'Mondays'"?
Naw. No. Shit, no, man. I believe you'd get your ass kicked.
.
From the Google cache (Score:3, Informative)
Here is the text:
"Swingline The Red Stapler
Ah, the price of fame. Hollywood took one of our staplers - thanks,
by the way - and used it in one of their films. Trouble is, they painted it red, a color we didn't offer. Ever since, we've been getting calls from customers demanding to order "that red stapler".
Okay, okay, you win. We took our industry-leading 747 Desk Stapler and gave it a deep, establishment-defying, I'll- flunt-my-individuality-if-I-choose-to red finish. Without sacrificing one staple's worth of solid 747 reliability.
The only concession we've made, in fact, is to offer the Red 747 exclusively over the Internet, at least for now. And that's a matter of public safety -
they're in limited supply, and we'd hate to cause riots in the street."
mmmm...yeeeeeaaah.. (Score:5, Funny)
all your favorite office space quotes: (Score:3, Informative)
Re:I want a sledge hammer (Score:2)
Re:I want a sledge hammer (Score:2)
waits for fucking
lameness
filter.
Hoo Rah
Re:I want a sledge hammer (Score:3, Interesting)
Speaking of killing hardware, my friend Jason and I make a nice hobby out of discussing various ways of destroying broken hardware and then making good on it [cc.mi.us].
Thus far he's been the one to do all of the killing, but we plan to one day gather all of our various broken and/or useless stuff for a bit of mass-murder.
Re:Flashbacks (Score:2)
Re:Whoop-dee-shit. (Score:3, Insightful)
Man, has someone ever lost his way...
Re:News is for the weak. (Score:2, Insightful)
Re:Whoop-dee-shit. (Score:2)
Flame it, troll it, overrate it or mark it redundant, but damn, what a waste of news space.
Re:I hate to tilt at windmills, but (Score:2)
Re:I hate to tilt at windmills, but (Score:4, Funny)
Re:I hate to tilt at windmills, but (Score:2)
although i accept the fact that the movie was not written for me.
Re:I hate to tilt at windmills, but (Score:2)
Re:what I wonder... (Score:2)
Re:what I wonder... (Score:2)
Re:I, I, I, I.... (Score:2)
Re:I, I, I, I.... (Score:2, Funny)
Ask yourself this, how many squirrel weddings have you been invited to?
How likely is it that the squirrels in the movie were married?
Re:You never know what will be worth money someday (Score:2, Informative)
Nice try at impressing us loser.
Next time try sticking a that flaming stapler up your ass.
Stapler 2002 Upgrade Edition (Score:2)
AM I the only one baffled by this pointless story? What the hell does a red stapler have to do with anything?
To publicize their new product!
Bring new life to your aging stapler with Stapler 2002 Upgrade Edition! Adds new and vibrant features which enhance productivity!
Personal Edition: Package includes one wire wheel for use with your power drill and a can of red Tremclad.
Enterprise Edition*: Package includes glass bead for your sandblaster and a bottle of red DuPont Centari for your paint gun.
* Installation downtime may be reduced through the purchase of a Stapler Backup Kit, part #6661313, projected availability 2Q2003, which includes one black Swingline stapler preloaded with 100 standard office staples. Availability subject to change without notice. We reserve the right to change the color of the paint supplied.
Re:FOR THE LOVE OF JESUS (Score:4, Insightful)
And up until 5 minutes ago, I had never heard of this guy. Why not? Because from reading the Wired news article, all he did was work on Gnutella. Gnutella. Who cares. After reading your post I thought maybe this guy had invented the Internet. People die all the time. And according to the article, "Kan's suicide was not completely unexpected, according to some of his friends. They had hoped Kan was winning his hard-fought battle against depression exacerbated by personal problems." I battled depression too and I'm a programmer, should