Microsoft's "Source Fource" Action Figures

RCanine writes "Microsoft is attempting to curry mind share with the 3-12 age bracket with their new event, the Source Fource, a series of developer-based action figures. Windows Vista Sensei, SQL Server Gal and some lame gender stereotypes presumably seek to rid the world of bearded, katana-wielding evil-doers. From the article: 'Between March 15th and April 15th 2007, the new super dudette will be offered and will be sent to developers who get their act together and attend at least two live MSDN Webcasts or two MSDN Virtual Labs, or one of each.'" I just can't figure out what to make of this, except that I hope someone can tell me if it blends. Or melts. Or burns.

For the love of...

[x3rc3s]

This is a sure sign of the apocalypse...

Re:

[Anonymous Coward]

April Fool's sure came a bit early this year.

Re:For the love of...Apocalypse Ponies!

[korbin_dallas]

Apocalypse Ponies, my Little Ponies....

(little girl voice): I'm war pony (flames couch)
(little girl voice): A I am (evil deep voice) DEATH PONY!

google: robot chicken apocalypse pony

I think I speak for everyone here...

[DragonHawk]

I think I speak for everyone here when I say: Whiskey. Tango. Foxtrot. Over.

Re:

[tweek]

And here I was thinking it was the software industry equivalent of jumping the shark. Now I know it's something much more ominous.

Re:For the love of...

[Pvt_Ryan]

I am actually crying.. I mean reading MS's superhero page actually brought tears to my eyes.
I think I have lost the will to live.

That HAS to be the most depressing and pathetic thing I have seen in years.

Maybe the big bad penguin TUX will be the evil genius that is trying to lure potential windows developers away, and the new "superheroes" will rally to their aid.

Its not even 1700 and after reading that I need a drink..

Xerox must have hired the same consultants

[fellini8.5]

Xerox recently announced a "viral" marketing campaign involving superhero characters that extoll the virtues of solid ink printing. I shit you not.

IncredibleInc [incredibleinc.com]

Bluescreen

[wideBlueSkies]

Wow. My knick-nack shelf just bluescreened.

The only thing left standing is my stuffed Tux.

Re:For the love of...

[HTH NE1]

I like how they're the "Fource" because there's seven of them.

Hmm...

[Anonymous Coward]

SQL Server Gal is hot! Is she single?!

Re:

[plague3106]

/. a bit behind the times I guess. I got Sql Server Gal at an event I went to over a year ago. Oh well, better late than never I guess.. wait, no.

Re:Hmm...

[somersault]

I was hoping that she'd be hawt, but then it turned out that she's the demon heck-spawn of a block of lego and that big sleeping Pokemon dude.. :s

Re:Hmm...

[xSauronx]

If you don't want to say "hell" you can substitute "Detroit"

Re:Hmm...

[egomaniac]

If you don't want to say "hell" you can substitute "Detroit"

Hey hey hey, there are kids reading this. You know you can't say words like "Detroit" in polite company! Now go wash your mouth out with soap, young man!

Re:Hmm...

[Anonymous Coward]

Belgium, man. Belgium.

Re:

[Godji]

Alright then:

"I was hoping that she'd be hawt, but then it turned out that she's the demon Detroit-spawn of a block of lego and that big sleeping Pokemon dude.. :s"

Re:Hmm...

[Lemmy Caution]

I am not going to make an SQL Injection joke. No. I am not.

Re:Hmm...

[Anonymous Coward]

I will then.

I would inject her then 9 months later watch her drop her tables. If you know what I mean.

Re:

[EricTheGreen]

We are all appreciative of your taste and good manners. In return, I promise to not comment on anything relating to cartesian products...

Re:Hmm...

[$RANDOMLUSER]

I will, in return, refrain from making any "back-door vulnerability" jokes.

Re:Hmm...

[ivansanchez]

> Is she single?! I guess she has lots of foreign relationships...

Re:Hmm...

[ultranova]

SQL Server Gal is hot! Is she single?!

No, but she isn't big on limiting access - hell, that's the name of her little sister. However, as a result she has worms, bugs, and viruses. Use virus protection if you want to mess with her, and remember: she charges for the "fun", unless you meet her at a shady BitTorrent server somewhere.

Re:Hmm...

[Mister Whirly]

""she also likes Sex in the City". I don't know that show. I know of Sex and the City, a show popular with her type"

They are not talking about the television show. She is just a slut.

Oooo, Ooooo, Oooo!!!!!!

[Anonymous Coward]

They MUST start making some "evil villian" models too. One that looks like RMS. I'll buy a dozen!

Re:Oooo, Ooooo, Oooo!!!!!!

[esocid]

They do. I think I saw a penguin on there.

Re:Oooo, Ooooo, Oooo!!!!!!

[skuzzlebutt]

I just got a picture of a panel with the nefarious villain BSOD laying on top of the Vista Sensie smacking the piss out of him...the bloodied superhero turns to TuxMan and says "OK, enough...call him off!" TuxMan replies..."um, don't look at me...I think he came in your van. He probably snuck out while you were waiting for your bloated sidekick SideBar to wake up."

Re:

[EricTheGreen]

They'll only introduce evil villains they would have a plausible chance of defeating. Maybe a Mitch Kapor or Mark Andreesen doll would work...

missing someone here....

[Subgenius]

But Where is Bob? Or Super-Sweaty Ballmer?

Re:missing someone here....

[TripMaster Monkey]

Super-Sweaty Ballmer! Now with Mega-Chair-Throwing action (TM)! Pull the string and hear Super-Sweaty Ballmer say one of the following action phrases:

  - "Developers! Developers! Developers!"

  - "Woooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!"

  - "I'm going to f**king KILL Google!"

Supplies are limited, so place your order now!

Re:missing someone here....

[Rob T Firefly]

Those of us into customizing our own action figures can simply paint a necktie onto a Dr. Evil figure that's been dipped into thin chicken broth.

Hmm...

[jrothwell97]

Let me guess.

Are the nemeses of these characters 'Evil Dr Torvalds' and 'The Jobs Bandit', who are intent on overtaking the world with their clone armies of penguins, platypuses and scary Finder icons?

Re:Hmm...

[Hoi Polloi]

Batman has been fighting Linux for years. [wikipedia.org]

I think BatMan uses BSD

[WebCowboy]

...because it looks like the riddler [microsoft.com] is the "architect" behind the MS Source Force!

Re:Hmm...

[Viceroy Potatohead]

Don't forget Professor Oppensource, with his evil creations! Give him a monocle and a Nazi armband, with the Firefox logo instead of a swastika. Lesser villains such as Dr. Oppenoffis could be thwarted by the team's pet Oox,Mel. If MS is going to implement the gayest idea ever, they might as well go all the way.

Re:

[Anonymous Coward]

Don't worry...no Microsoft character could ever beat NUX LEE [penguinhuggle.com]

Those are over on Source Forge

[billstewart]

I didn't have enough sleep, or something, to deal with this article. Is it mushroom season in the Pacific Northwest, or what?

WTF?

[joaommp]

<irony>I work at Microsoft. How come I knew this first from /.?</irony>

Let the "you must be new here" comments begin.

Re:

[ashridah]

It's an extension of the {heroes} stuff you've been seeing if you're on campus. It's a bizarre attempt to raise the image of the IT pro in the workplace, as far as I can tell.

Tied into the upcoming launch of server 2008, the official launch of VS2008 and the eventual launch of sql server 2008 (she's late to the party, tho. Guess someone else was already wearing her dress :) )

ash

Re:

[ashridah]

Hm. And it looks like these Source Force toys are from a few years ago anyway, not related to the {heroes} stuff after all.

Re:

[SailorSpork]

I kinda want these toys (to pose under the feet of my Transformers toys on my desk), but it seems to be open to MSDN developer subscribers only. In fact, only "the First 5000 MSDN Developers" to complete their Webcasts of Doom get the toys. My guess is that if MS employees knew too, external customers would be crowded out, and fewer subscribers would feel the pride of collecting them all by buying their services.

Honestly, if you're signing up for these webinars and labs, shouldn't you be motivated by the

Re:WTF?

[joaommp]

No, I'm actually motivated by lunch. And learning, too. But lunch is a priority.

WTF

[Silver Sloth]

Maybe it's because I'm in my fifties but this seems incomprehensible - but then so does my teenage son's taste in music so maybe I'm just old.

Re:

[digitig]

I'm in my 50s too, and it's perfectly comprehensible. The MS marketing department is hooked on [adult swim].

Re:

[rtb61]

I was thinking the exact same thing. It is just so incredibly lame, stupid and embarrassing. Is this some new sort of attack on computer geeks/nerds to make us look bad just by association, some sort of revenge by billy goat ballmer for all the mocking he receives from computer geeks/nerds from around the globe.

What's next bubble gum trading cards of the leading windrones and micro-softies, with a special super secret set of the leading forum flooding microtrolls.

I can just imagine a whole range of vira

Too much cash in MS marketing.

[AceJohnny]

Microsoft is the living proof that Marketing > Quality (as if anybody doubted that). They know that their marketing dept is their most important asset, and they can afford to pour cash at them. Hence their marketing people can afford to try out any wacky ideas and see what sticks.

That's the only explanation I can come up for this initiative. Anything else makes me want to obliterate humanity.

Re:

[Aladrin]

I didn't believe you at first, so I read the article... Now, I'm not sure even your excuse is enough. Horrendous.

Re:

[mxs]

Hence their marketing people can afford to try out any wacky ideas and see what sticks.

It's sticky alright. Pure, unadulterated sh

Re:

[wall0159]

"Anything else makes me want to obliterate humanity." god that made me laugh ;-)

Microsoft At Its Finest

[eldavojohn]

The best part is when you click "Watch Them in Action!" [microsoft.com] and it takes you to a page.

Now, a lot of sites have this crazy idea of embedded video that streams from a site or source that's dedicated to streaming video. You know like YouTube, Blip.tv or any of the .tv sites really. Does Microsoft utilize any of those freely available options? Oh no, of course not! YouTube is Google! Even if we don't have a competing solution we must not use theirs!

So what happens when you click "view"? Well, it creates a popup window that opens up Windows Media Player! Good luck viewing a .asx file all you non-Windows users.

The least Microsoft could do is create their own streaming video server but, alas, we must revert to our archaic mentality, reject all that is sensible and invade my privacy and comfort zone by automatically opening a program that is tied to the kernel (and at least historically had admin rights when I didn't) sitting in kernel land on my computer.

Assistant: Mr. Ballmer! Research indicates that Richard Stallman is 50% more cuddly than you!
Ballmer: Damnit ... must be his hair. Well, we'll see about that! Put the action figures I've hand crafted here immediately into production! Release plush dolls of clippy! Find me puppies to carry around with me at press conferences and when their cute factor falls below 40%, have them killed and replaced!

Re:

[drinkypoo]

So what happens when you click "view"? Well, it creates a popup window that opens up Windows Media Player! Good luck viewing a .asx file all you non-Windows users.

Call me crazy, but perhaps they're only interested in Windows users?

Just in case anyone was wondering, no, mplayer can't play the files. At least, not whatever I have on gutsy with medibuntu.

I would be throwing a chair by now...

[hummassa]

1. I am a geeky dad of a 8yo boy.
2. I use Linux exclusively.
3. My son -- which could be a Microsoft convert if this thing worked -- cannot watch the videos.
4. Therefore, he is safe from the brainwashing.
5. Profit!!!

Re:

[PhrostyMcByte]

Now, a lot of sites have this crazy idea of embedded video that streams from a site or source that's dedicated to streaming video. You know like YouTube, Blip.tv or any of the .tv sites really. Does Microsoft utilize any of those freely available options? Oh no, of course not! YouTube is Google! Even if we don't have a competing solution we must not use theirs!

You would think Microsoft would at least use its own video streaming service, Soapbox [msn.com]

Re:Microsoft At Its Finest

[mhall119]

So what happens when you click "view"? Well, it creates a popup window that opens up Windows Media Player! Good luck viewing a .asx file all you non-Windows users.

Hmmm, if GIF is pronouned "jiff", and JPG is pronounced "jay-peg", wouldn't that make ASX....oh....oh my......suddenly it all makes sense.

Re:

[Foofoobar]

Well that would mean that people who use the ASX format are all ASX-uals.

Re:

[mhall119]

I get that it was a joke, but you seemed to be misunderstanding _my_ joke, where it's pronounces "ass-sex", which to me makes for better punchlines that "asexual", such as:

You need Windows to view "ass-sex".
or
Linux doesn't support "ass-sex".
or
[Insert Mac-users-are-gay joke here]

they should have just adopted the os-tans

[Akatosh]

This has been done and done well [wikipedia.org]. Why the cheap knockoff?

Re:

[somersault]

Cool concept! Call me back when Miss NT is legal :p

3-12 year olds?

[\\]

I get that they're toys, and toys are traditionally for kids, and that it's fun to make fun of/hate on Microsoft, and that Microsoft is obviously trying to get people hooked early (did I cover all the bases?).. but these action figures are more collectibles than toys to be played with. This stuff isn't really for kids, it's for your OCD-afflicted nerd that has (hopefully) outgrown Pokemon.

Desperate

[plopez]

They must be desperate to open up new revenue streams. WIth the continuing failure of Xbox/HPC/Zune et. al. to produce revenue it seems sensible to try something different.... "Hey guys! Action figures!"

When are they going to have the video game and tv series tied to the figures released? What? There aren't any! Once again, MS blows it big time.

All this really is...

[EmagGeek]

Is Microsoft's answer to Tux and the Bitten Apple. M$ has never really had a Mascot, and I will bet dollars to donuts that some M$ marketing person had an epiphany that the reason everyone hates M$ was because they didn't have a cute, cuddly mascot or cultural icon.

So, their answer, of course, is to create not one, but LOTS, of cute, cuddly mascots. After all, if one is good, 10 must be better. Right?

Re:

[somersault]

Nah, they had Clippy. Everyone loves clippy!! :)

Say what you want.

[Xest]

This is the coolest thing Microsoft has ever done and I'm not having anyone say otherwise!

They're like, ninja developer legomen superheroes!

Re:

[Chas]

"This is the coolest thing Microsoft has ever done and I'm not having anyone say otherwise!"

Unfortunately, in a sick, sad way, you're right.

Re:

[Sciros]

What? No way bro. The Xbox 360 is actually good. Way better than these figurine things, which are pretty much the antichrist.

Windows Vista Sensei?

[dkalley]

From the website:

He is highly thought of as one of the most powerful warriors alive. Although he is still young, Windows Vista Sensei is said to possess different strengths and confidence not known to anyone. He is already beginning to gain such world fame at his young age that folks are writing stories about him.

That's quite some selective perception, I can't even believe this is real!!

Re:

[jaysones]

Here's the truth: "Windows Vista Sensei is said to possess different strengths and confidence not known to anyone." Sounds about right to me!

Sould have banked this story

[syntap]

for April 1. Would have been a good anti-fools piece.

Marketing taking advantage of similar phrases?

[Anonymous Coward]

It looks like Microsoft has been on a marketing rampage of trying to confuse various community project names with its own garbage.

Office Open XML (similar to OpenOffice.org?)
Source Force (SourceForge, anyone?)

Seriously, it's like they're trying to give all these great projects a bad name in the eyes of the ignorant masses who will make the subliminal association in their heads. When all they have is marketing left trying to revive the sinking ship, every problem can be made to look like a marketing one.

It's at times like this ...

[Stavr0]

that I regret there's no photoshop contests on Slashdot.

Re:

[AndyCR]

I wasn't going to post this (bored lunch break GIMP work), but now I must. http://i29.tinypic.com/25rjrew.png [tinypic.com]

A bit old?

[stevenvi]

Anyone else notice that it's almost March of 2008 now, while the article mentions March of 2007?

You'll need your Time Machine...

[dzurn]

This article is from 2007, and these figures were originally released in 2006.

But go ahead and watch the video, if you can. See if they'll at least throw in a time-share condo.

Re:

[Carewolf]

This is what happens when you post an April's fools joke and no one notices.

It gets posted to slashdot.org as news 10 months later.

Does the lead action figure

[antifoidulus]

feature "Awesome chair-throwing action"! And have a voice button that features 3 different phrases, 'Developers", "Developers", and "Developers"?

The Windows Vista Target Audience

[nbahi15]

I finally found out who could deal with Vista. A sensei. To use the 10th definition from google define, Sensei is a five piece, melodic, rock band from Jacksonville, Florida. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sensei [wikipedia.org] (band).

A team effort even!

[dazedNconfuzed]

What is particularly stunning about these is that a non-trivial team of people actually were commissioned to:
- explore possible characters
- depict them
- write detailed commentary
- outsource actual manufacturing, including mold design, painting, packaging
- publish & advertise the promotion
- reserve & fill warehouse space
- ship them
etc.

It's what I've been calling the "SpongeBob Effect": someone actually had to convince deep-pocket high-level managers to fund a team to do this - and got a 'yes'!

Interoperable with Legos?

[vmxeo]

After looking the pictures on the website, I started to wonder if the action figures would work with Legos. Then I remembered are Microsoft products, so I would have to assume no.

(note to any creative people/companies out there: if you designed similarly themed action-hero figures from open-source mascots, I would so buy them.

Re:

[ettlz]

"Lego" is a collective noun.

Invent Your Own

[sesshomaru]

Microsoft Marketing Maniac

With his hands replaced by twin gas powered chainsaws and a face that would make Leatherface vomit, the Microsoft Marketing Maniac is an expert of sowing the seeds of Fear, Uncertainty and Doubt amongst Microsoft's competitors. Like Michael Myers, he is known for doing his best work on Halloween, but this blood gorged monster will do his gruesome work year round.

Look out! There he is behind you.... aiieeee!

Concept art stolen from the game Splatterhouse [empire-of-the-claw.com]

DC will sue?

[giminy]

Visual Studio Guy [microsoft.com] is the Green Lantern, MSDN Webcast Guy [microsoft.com] is Superman, Virtual Labs Guy [microsoft.com] is The Flash. I don't see credit on there anywhere, and this is definitely a marketing thing (not a parody).

I think MSDN Webcast Guy's tagline says it best, "His parents weren't very creative."

embrace, extend, extinguish - on names

[Tom]

I don't think it's coincidence that it sounds a lot like SourceForge [sourceforge.net].

I don't know why, but if I wanted to muddle a name, that's something I'd do: Create something that sounds much like it, is a bit childish and ridiculous, and try to make it popular.

MS Barbie

[VitaminB52]

'nuff said

Thanks

[lelitsch]

Thank you Microsoft, for setting your people back 1000 years.

you've really gotta laugh at this though!

[verayh]

From the story line -
"ISV Super Gal, as persistent as ever, studied and was eventually able to find a way to turn matter into energy
and then back again via an Ultra-Mobile PC running Windows Vista. Shortly there after she left and headed back to main society to continue her studies.
When her friends found out about the device she had created they were amazed as could be."

Yeap - I'm sure many of us would be amazed that she was able to produce anything! (The bold emphasising is mine.)

Still, my kid

Read the comments on the last two guys

[qazwart]

I found the comments on the last two on the bottom of the page rather interesting -- how their "parents" lack creativity.

Hey, Microsoft said it. I didn't.

http://msdn.microsoft.com/events/hero/sfbio/#msdnwebcastguy [microsoft.com]
http://msdn.microsoft.com/events/hero/sfbio/#visualstudioguy [microsoft.com]

Larry Boy to the Rescue!!!

[starglider29a]

http://www.larryboy.com/ [larryboy.com]

Larry Boy will KICK THESE GUYS/GALS A55!!!

And why shouldn't they. In "The Fib from Outer Space" episode, Larry Boy's sidekick Albert accidentally unplugs the computer just as the answer is arriving. Upon reboot, you see that the CucumberComputer's big happy face is that of a MAC! HA!

What, you guys don't ever code in front of the TV with the kids?

Source

[Kamineko]

Why are they called the 'Source' Force?

Get that stick out of your ass

[east coast]

Is it stupid? Yeah. Is it funny? Yeah. Doesn't it hurt anyone? Please.

Aside from the fact that it's MS there is nothing to see here. Take your boorish trolls elsewhere. Most of the comments here just show why nerds can't get girls... they have too hard of a time not taking themselves so seriously.

I'm nearly at the point of asking why this even made the front page.

Re:

[Nazlfrag]

I'm nearly at the point of asking why this even made the front page.

Didn't you know? Slashdot is owned by SourceForce Inc.

Source Fource vs. Chuck Norris

[gmuslera]

Will the Blue Screen of Death defeat the Roundhouse Kick? Dont miss the next episode.

Screwed up minority count!

[sootman]

We've got White Guy, Asian Guy, white power-suit chick, asian chick, another white guy, a white guy in a wheelchair, and I'm not sure what Visual Studio Guy is supposed to be. But no black one! C'mon, even South Park [wikipedia.org] knows that much. And right in the middle of Black History Month [wikipedia.org], too! I'm so mentally distraught. I'm going to sue them for twenty hojillion dollars.

However, I love that webcast guy giving the thumbs-up. [microsoft.com] I don't know what it is about that little guy, but I think they should make him the boss of [theonion.com]

I'm waiting for the Batman crossover

[GodfatherofSoul]

...because you know Source Fource is out to beat the Penguin.

hmmm... Source Fource... Source Forge

[MadJo]

Can Source Forge perhaps sue Microsoft for infringing on the trademark Sourceforge? (it's at least a closer approximation than Mike Row Soft)

Offer's expired - March 15 - April 15 2007

[tlhIngan]

I just noticed this - it's in the summary, and in TFA (twice!).

March 15th through April 15th 2007: Qualification period for the Windows Vista Sensei and Office Master superheros

(emphasis mine).

And in the rules...

Offer good only to the first 5,000 residents of the U.S. or Canada that attend at least two live MSDN Webcasts or complete two MSDN Virtual Labs, or one of each, between March 15, 2007, and April 15, 2007

(again, emphasis mine).

Either this is really really really old news (not unusual - it IS /. after all), or someone's got their time machine all messed up?

It's 2008, not 2007 -- old news

[writertype]

If these were handed out in March 2007, why should we care?

Re:

[JCSoRocks]

Yeah, I immediately thought the exact same thing. This isn't new, and it's not for 12 year olds. It's for old nerds and it's been around for a few years. Additionally, I'd say these are more like lego knock-offs than action figures. GI Joe is an action figure - he's got the grippy hands and movable limbs. He can hold a gun and shoot people. These little plastic thingies can sit on your desk and serve as evidence that you're the biggest nerd in the office... that's about it.

Re:

[wfWebber]

My thoughts exactly. It can't be a coincidence that these figures are supposed to debut between march 15 and april 15...

Re:Haha, the description is ACCURATE!

[esocid]

10th degree black belt and martial arts master trained in the ancient art of combat, security and connectivity.

Unless he can't find the drivers needed to use his weapons, then he's SOL.

Re:Haha, the description is ACCURATE!

[Archangel Michael]

You're about to use a katana ...

Cancel or Allow?

Re:

[morgan_greywolf]

I'm just in a state of confusion as I read this.

Don't worry. It's just the government mind control lasers misfiring again. It'll clear up in a minute and you'll think this stuff is cool.