NASA Offers $5000 a Month For You to Lie in Bed 239
tracer818 writes "In order to study a person as if they were in space without gravity, NASA scientists are paying subjects $17,000 to stay in bed for 90 straight days. The study will follow the Bed Rest Project standard model and be conducted at the University of Texas Medical Branch in Galveston, Texas. Participants will live in a special research unit for the entire study and be fed a carefully controlled diet."
I'm in. (Score:5, Insightful)
Re:I'm in. (Score:4, Funny)
Re:I'm in. (Score:5, Funny)
ELAINE: What, you mean, in your mother's house, or all together?
GEORGE: (Definite) All together.
(The next three lines are said at the exact same time)
ELAINE: Oh, gimme a break..
JERRY: (Skeptical) Ohhh yeah.. right.
KRAMER: Oh, like you're gonna stop?
JERRY AND ELAINE: C'mon..
GEORGE: You don't think I can?
JERRY: No chance.
GEORGE: (Daring) You think you could?
JERRY: Well, I know I could hold out longer than you.
GEORGE: Care to make it interesting?
JERRY: Sure, how much?
GEORGE: A hundred dollars.
JERRY: (Pointing) You're on.
KRAMER: (Butting in) Wait a second, wait a second. Count me in on this. (Clicks his tongue)
JERRY: You?
KRAMER: Yeah.
JERRY: You'll be out before we get the check.
ELAINE: (Smiling) I want to be in on this, too.
GEORGE AND JERRY: (Rejecting) Ohh, no. No, no, no..
ELAINE: Why?
JERRY: (Showing difference) It's apples and oranges..
ELAINE: What? Why? (More 'no, no, no's from Jerry and George. Persistent) Why?
JERRY: Because you're a woman!
ELAINE: So what?
JERRY: It's easier for a woman not to do it than a man.
ELAINE: (Sarcastic) Oh.
JERRY: We have to do it. It's part of our lifestyle. It's like, uh.. shaving.
ELAINE: Oh, that is such bologna. I shave my legs.
KRAMER: (Making a point) Not everyday.
GEORGE: Alright, look, you want to be in?
ELAINE: Yeah!
GEORGE: You gotta give us odds. At least two to one - you gotta put up two-hundred dollars.
KRAMER: No, a thousand!
ELAINE: No, I'll - I'll put up one-fifty.
GEORGE: Alright, you're in for one-fifty.
JERRY: (Nodding) Okay, one-fifty.
Re:I'm in. (Score:4, Interesting)
Also, it would be a cut in pay for me.
Re:I'm in. (Score:5, Funny)
Is that the latest 'hood slang for masturbation? Genuine question.
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http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=rub+one+out [urbandictionary.com]
I imagine that it was first said decades ago.
Re:I'm in. (Score:5, Informative)
http://groups.google.com/group/alt.beer/browse_frm/thread/66eb379b321b2433/11e668a230018072?lnk=st&q=%22rub+one+out%22#11e668a230018072 [google.com]
http://groups.google.com/group/alt.tasteless.jokes/browse_frm/thread/1299b8d6d59e0f1e/45022260920fd617?lnk=st&q=%22rub+one+out%22#45022260920fd617 [google.com]
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Comment removed (Score:5, Funny)
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"Tapping the tapioca tube"
"Self-whittling"
or my personal fave: "Launching the Hand Shuttle"
Re:I'm in. (Score:4, Funny)
That worked well between us guys, but one day he said it to a girl:
"What did you do this weekend Jack?"
"Oh nothing much Jill, just spanking the monkey."
(Jill blinks) : "What did you say?"
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Re:I'm in. (Score:5, Funny)
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Better yet think of (Robert) Englund [wikipedia.org]
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I lie in bed all the time (Score:5, Funny)
"Yes, I love you"
"Yes, it was good"
"No, I was not thinking about _her_"
Re:I lie in bed all the time (Score:5, Funny)
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Details (Score:5, Funny)
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What's that movie? (Score:5, Insightful)
Re:What's that movie? (Score:5, Funny)
But the department needs to spend its budget or else face cuts next year. With Obama already looking for ways to divert NASA funds into edumacation, the need is dire and if NASA engineers and scientists can't be busy, at least they can look busy.
I get paid a lot of money to do what I do. But sometimes I just sit around and stare at the monitor and space out. In order to not look like I'm wasting time, I run a Perl script in a command window that prints the text of random files on the filesystem until I stop it. It makes me look like I'm waiting for a compile to finish, and that's enough to keep me in the green.
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How can I simulate the endless compiling of programs in my environment, and look busy doing it?
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How can I simulate the endless compiling of programs in my environment, and look busy doing it?
Serious answer. Look into the Visual Studio macro system.
Holy shit, it's like Microsoft's own engineers built it into the product just to give loafers a means to look busy while actually wasting tons of time.
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Why not just do: while true; do make clean; make; done :-)
Re:What's that movie? (Score:4, Funny)
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Re:What's that movie? (Score:5, Interesting)
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Re:What's that movie? (Score:5, Informative)
It looked pretty grueling, even if only for 2 minutes a day.
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You don't need to build a huge space station.
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Seemed very interesting. Everything was still small, and it would provide approximately Earth-level gravity i
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You'd have to provide barf bags, though it does seem hypothetically possible.
Alternatively, the rotation could simply be suspended during docking. It'd be energy-intensive to break and restart, but not out of the question....
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Deeper understanding (Score:5, Interesting)
Will some experimental drugs help counteract the effects of weightlessness?
Can the problems be alleviated with specific exercises during weightlessness?
How long will it take to recover after returning to gravity? If an astronaut is weightless on a trip to Mars, can he be back up in a week or a month?
If you want to treat something as a problem to overcome, you might need to know more than "It's bad", ok?
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If it's
2001: A Space Odyssey (Score:5, Funny)
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with AutonomousBolo do
begin
Job
end;
AutonomousBolo.Job.Go(Self);
Bedpan or Catheter? (Score:5, Funny)
And probably prepare to see some syringes more... (Score:2)
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but to their credit, they're fine once they're in. the removal felt weird, but wasn't painful.
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I think I saw that movie on the web.
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ESA Has Done Studies Long Ago (Score:5, Informative)
And if you really want to know more, they published all their findings for all their experiments in five hefty PDFs [esa.int].
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To do today: (Score:5, Insightful)
Find out if NASA will let me have a laptop in that bed.
Find out if my boss will let me telecommute for the next 90 days.
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Invent cure for deep vein thrombosis.
You forgot... (Score:2)
Do they have cable/satellite
Re:You forgot... (Score:5, Funny)
And then...? (Score:5, Insightful)
Re:And then...? (Score:5, Insightful)
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If you use some isometric exercises, you could minimize the damage of the time in bed.
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may be more difficult than some may imagine (Score:4, Insightful)
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$5K/month is not worth it.
Learned To Do that in College (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Learned To Do that in College (Score:5, Funny)
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Not worth it (Score:2)
Misery deserves far more compensation than 17K.
This sounds like a statup idea from 1999 (Score:3, Funny)
1. lie in bed.
2. get fed.
3. profit!
sound good? let's get to bed!
They should call up Blizzard (Score:5, Insightful)
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"Tired of just grinding in WoW? Now grind in _RL_ too! Spend hour after hour _in bed_ earning cash, while you kill your 10,000th dragon whelp for leather!'
Re:They should call up Blizzard (Score:5, Funny)
Hmmmm... (Score:2)
day 89, and you have to bail? (Score:3, Interesting)
It'd really suck if you got to day 89, and then had a family emergency.
I you get DIRECTV with and will be able to use PPV (Score:2)
Not even nearly worth it (Score:2, Interesting)
If I had chosen not to have surgery, I would have needed to lie on my back for twelve weeks. I was told that it would take about two years to get back to normal strength if I'd gone down that route...
You couldn't pay me enough to be in bed for 90 days.
Stupid me (Score:2)
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Yes. It's called dietbetis.
What, none of them has a teen at home? (Score:2)
Another El Mariachi? (Score:2)
Under $8/hour to ruin your health? (Score:3, Interesting)
I might consider doing it for Ten Times that amount $150k to $200K. Not worth risking my health otherwise.
Not to mention this would probably feel like torture after a week. My back gets sore if I lay in bed too long on Sunday mornings.
Not worth the health risks (Score:3, Interesting)
Governor of New York Pays better (Score:4, Funny)
USSR did this too. (Score:5, Informative)
As far as I remember, one subject broke his femur when he tried to stand for the first time after the test. Also, all subjects experienced frequent orthostatic collapses (i.e. they fainted then they tried to stand up).
The damage was quickly corrected by using calcium gluconate injections and physical therapy.
Alas, I can't find a source for this in English.
That's $500 for staying in bed... (Score:3, Insightful)
se7en (Score:2)
No thanks (Score:2)
Re:Depends on who's sleeping with me... (Score:4, Insightful)
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If you think getting up is the hardest part of your day NOW, just wait until you've been bedridden for 3 months.
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In fact even though I am generally considered to be an active (and virile) man by most people who are not my wife, I am somewhat surprised by how quickly I wanted to find out about making five grand from laying in bed.
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Re:Paying People To Lie in Bed (Score:5, Funny)
I'm not against it for the truly needy, but it is commonly abused. The government is paying some people to sit around and watch Oprah. Welfare shouldn't be used to promote a lifestyle of laziness for those who could work.
Ok, let me have a Take #2:
The government's been doing that for people for years. They're called federal employees.
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I bet you don't realize just how many of those people who "have jobs" are themselves getting a type of welfare.
Do you have a big mortgage? You're getting "welfare" when you deduct your interest payments from your income taxes.
Do you have a kid in college? You're getting a nice fat welfare payment in the form of Pell Grants.
Are you an oil company exec or trader at Goldman Sachs or Morgan Chase? You're getting a HUGE amount of welfare from ou
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Bed Rest Study
In order to study a person as if they were in space without gravity, NASA scientists use head down tilt bed rest. The 115-119 day study will follow the Bed Rest Project standard model and be conducted at the University of Texas Medical Branch in Galveston, Texas. Participants will live in a special research unit for the entire study and be fed a carefully controlled diet.
During the first 11-15 days of the study participants will be free to move around inside the bed res