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US To Get EU Private Citizen Data

CowboyNeal posted more than 6 years ago | from the no-one-is-safe dept.

Privacy 290

An anonymous reader writes "In a case of 'all your data are belong to us,' the US government is close to coming to an agreement with the EU that allows it to get private citizen data on EU citizens to 'look for suspicious activity.' So, now we know what step three is: set up a security agency in the US to resell otherwise unavailable data."

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EU requests private US citizen data (5, Insightful)

dlb1 (1170591) | more than 6 years ago | (#23981465)

So when is the EU finally going to request fingerprints and private data from US travelers?

Re:EU requests private US citizen data (1)

anonieuweling (536832) | more than 6 years ago | (#23981517)

Yes, the US is more aggressive in obtaining the data of travellers. But the but since the USE (EU) are in the process of becoming a super-state kind of thing, despite the Lisbon treaty dilemma (the people don't want it, still the politicians move on) the stance on looking into private data might gradually change.

Re:EU requests private US citizen data (1, Insightful)

wvmarle (1070040) | more than 6 years ago | (#23982301)

I don't know whether the people really want it or not. No-one not deep into politics really knows, nor understands, the full meaning of this treaty. What it means for them, for their country. And that is a big problem with many of those treaties: it is also why the "EU Constitution" (which for starters shouldn't have been called like that) was voted down. This was, at least in The Netherlands, largely because of unhappiness with the Dutch government, and somewhat unhappiness with the EU, not because of rational understanding of this "constitution".

The matter is way too complex to really understand - I don't think it should have had a referendum in the first place. Instead it should have been set up by one EU parliament, and ratified by the next after the elections. Then competent people (the politicians) that can understand the meaning of the document can vote on it, and indirectly the general public votes as well. Not everything is suitable for referendum.

I for one don't really and fully understand the implications of these agreements. I do understand the national parties that are also active in the community, the province, and the national government. I know what they stand for, and will vote for who-ever is closest to my ideas. And with that, they can support or reject these mighty complex treaties the way I would very likely have done it, if I had the time and understanding to really know what they mean.

And at least 3 days in advance (3, Interesting)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#23981625)

We should go out of our way (from an EU perspective) to make the EU just as attractive to travelers from the US as the US is to travelers from the EU.

Seriously though, when are we the people going to say enough is enough. We do not need any more surveilance and invasions of our privacy. If we keep on this path then the so called war on terror will be lost not by the efforts of terrorists but by our own governments. Perhaps moving to Zimbabwe is not such a bad idea after all.

Re:And at least 3 days in advance (5, Insightful)

wvmarle (1070040) | more than 6 years ago | (#23982191)

We should go out of our way (from an EU perspective) to make the EU just as attractive to travelers from the US as the US is to travelers from the EU.

While I really understand the feeling, I totally disagree with it, as it is the wrong thing to do. Fingerprinting and photographing people at the border is wrong. It should not be done. It doesn't stop terrorists, it may make it a bit less convenient for them to do their thing, but that inconvenience is limited to the crossing of borders. When a would-be terrorist has crossed the border, it's kinda too late already. Fingerprinting is no deterrent after the border has been crossed. It's just stupid to believe otherwise.

There are great systems in place to keep unwanted persons out of the country: normal police work, and exchange of information on criminals between governments. Osama bin Laden would not have much of a chance to enter the USA, unless he manages to get a very well done fake passport.

The EU gives a great example on how it can be done. Traveling within the EU, crossing state borders, is often so easy you don't notice it. If you miss the sign next to the road, that is. There is often not more than that to crossing a national border. And for foreigners entering the EU as visitor, that is generally also easy.

But does that make the EU borders more transparent than US borders? I truly doubt it. People from some nationalities have to apply for visa before entering - that of course includes a more thorough screening. And then of course there exists a black-list of unwanted individuals, those people trying to cross the border will likely be arrested and/or sent back.

And all this does not make the EU more susceptible to terrorism by foreigners - on the contrary. Most if not all serious attacks in the EU were all done by nationals or residents, the greatest threat comes from the inside as always.

they don't have to (1)

speedtux (1307149) | more than 6 years ago | (#23982057)

European governments keep more detailed information about people who are in EU countries, so they need to get less information when you enter.

Re:EU requests private US citizen data (0, Troll)

rronda (1139207) | more than 6 years ago | (#23982651)

I don't understand what is the big deal. This is the usual business with all travelers except europeans. Somehow, this only levels the field with respect to everybody else in the world. That doesn't make it good, but it makes it a bit more fair, if you will.

Re:EU requests private US citizen data (1, Interesting)

Zemran (3101) | more than 6 years ago | (#23982817)

So when is the EU finally going to request fingerprints and private data from US travelers?

Why would they want it? So the US wants to horde lots of personal data that serves no other purpose other than to violate basic human rights, why should any one else want to be as stupid? It will waste money keeping and attempting to process this data to no worthwhile end except the jobs that it will create for the friends of those that pass these stupid laws.

It makes us all feel warm and fuzzy at night, knowing that the good old USSA have got the world police looking after us.

but can they get laid? (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#23981487)

I was probably like any other fifteen year old when I was growing up, seemingly aways having to fight off a hard-on. Maybe it was hormones, maybe it was because I was still a virgin, but my almost daily jack-off sessions didn't seem to help much. I still wanted to experience the feeling of my dick actually plunging into some beautiful young girl's tight, wet cunt. Hell, she didn't even have to be all that beautiful!

This feeling was driving me crazy. I HAD to have me a piece of ass soon, or I was simply gonna explode! I just couldn't keep out the thoughts of some young girl's pointed, jiggling tits slipping between my lips while my dick plowed between her moist slit.

My imagination, summer bikinis, and dad's PENTHOUSEs helped me to fill out my favorite fantasies of what the girls in my classes looked like naked. Those vivid images of beautiful, naked young girls coming into my room looking at my dick with lust, or my plopping them down on a desk right there in school and fucking our brains out seemed to dominate my every waking moment. Hell, even my nights were filled with wet dreams of these nubile young girls offering their naked bodies to me on sight!

The truth was I had never even seen a live naked girl since I was about seven-years-old playing doctor with a neigbor girl. Even then I didn't know what it was all about, just that my little dick got hard when I touched her bare pussy and that it felt REAL GOOD when she touched my hard dick. 'If only I new then what I know now,' I thought. Furthermore, I was much too shy to even approach a girl my age to ask for a date, much less to ask for a piece of ass or a blowjob.

I was sitting under a tree fretting about all of this one summer day, when I was startled by the voice of a young neighbor girl who had walked up behind me.

"What are you doing out here all by yourself?"

Pauline was a typical eleven-year-old, her body just beginning to show the first signs of maturing into an hourglass shape, but she still was flat-chested. Her personality had definitely not matured, and I even cosidered her to be quite a brat.

"Nothing much, just moping around," I told her.

"What's wrong?" she asked in a soft tone, touching my knee as she sat down beside me on the ground, her small skirt riding up her smooth legs.

I had never looked at her in a sexual way before, but the combination of my frustration and her uncharacteristic soft-spoken manner caused me to take a second look at her. She was actually a very pretty young girl, with long dark brown hair that flowed down onto her flat, preteen chest. Her innocent dark brown eyes looked deeply into mine as she pondered my troubles, and I began to get an idea on how I might exploit this budding motherly instinct of hers.

"Well......, it's just that a lot of the other guys my age have dated girls already," I began, "some of them have even had sex."

I paused to check her reaction. She was still sitting there looking at me intently, her knees pulled up near her chest and her arms draped around them casually leaving her skirt to gape open under her legs. I was sure that anyone passing by would be able to see her panties, but she didn't seem to be aware of her immodest pose.

"I'm just too shy to ask anyone out, though. I guess I'll never have the guts to either."

She sat there silently, bending her head down and resting her chin on her knees. She seemed to be in thought as she began to stare blankly at the ground in front of her, possibly wondering about her own lack of boyfriends and whether she too would ever have the experience of having sex one day.

"Have you ever wondered what it's like to have sex?" I asked her, hoping to guide the situation into a possible encounter. v She looked at me momentarily to see if I was sincere, or just trying to poke fun at her before answering.

"Well...., yeah...., sometimes...., but nobody really likes me much around here. All of the boys in my class just want to play by themselves. I'll probably never have a boyfriend or anything," she said solemnly.

"Have you ever thought about doing it with anybody around here?" I asked, pressing further.

"EEEWWW, NO!" she said, raising her voice defensively.

"Don't get mad, Pauline! I was just wondering." I said, trying to salvage the situation. "I wouldn't tell anybody if you had thought about it."

After that exchange, we both sat silently for a few moments. She resumed her position of resting her head on her knees, and her skirt still left her entire bottom open below her legs. Hoping to get a better view of this sight, I stretched and yawned, feigning fatique. I then bent forward and crawled along the ground until I was stretched out on my side facing Pauline, my feet resting against the large tree. She looked at me momentarily before reaverting her gaze to the ground directly in front of her, resuming her thoughts. I waited until she looked away before looking under her legs, but when I did, I was greeted by the sight of her beautiful tanned legs disappearing into the rumpled bottom of her skirt. Between them was a bright white strip of cotton cloth, covering what I knew had to be her young twat. The tightness of the cloth stretched across her little pussy, clearly identifying just where it was by the indentation of the fabric along the slit. My dick immediately began to respond, and I quickly stuck my hand in my pocket to adjust it before it was too late, leaving it there to help hide the effect it was going to have on my pants.

"I've thought a lot about having sex," I said, looking back up to her eyes just as she turned her gaze back to me.

"Really? Who with?" she asked curiously.

Now she had me on the spot. If I told her all of the girls my fantasies revolved around, it would be just like this little brat to go and tell them. As I studied her face though, I noticed a look that I had never seen before. It was as if she was trying to form a mental image of two people having sex, me being one of them and the other still left blank.

"Well...., I don't know. You might think it's gross if I tell you. What's more, you'll probably go right off and tell them if I told you who it was," I said.

"I won't think it's gross, and I promise I won't tell...., please....." she pleaded.

Now I was beginning to feel I was getting somewhere. I really had her curiosity up, and I even thought that she might even be enjoying this line of conversation.

"Well...., OK," I began. "But you gotta promise you aren't gonna tell. And it's not like I would really do it with them or anything. I've just thought about it, OK?"

"OK, sure!" she replied, just a tinge of excitement in her voice. v "Um..., well..., you know Jodi McAllister? I've thought about doing it with her." I said.

"Oh," she replied, sounding slightly disappointed.

"Yeah, she's got a nice body. Blonde hair....., blue eyes...., and pretty nice tits too! And she's got a REAL nice ass on her!" I said, hoping to get Pauline's gears going.

Pauline raised up, resting her chin on her hands, her elbows on her knees. She shifted her geet out from her body, keeping her thighs together. Her little feet were pointed inward slightly, giving her a very little girlish look. Her gaze seemed to be far off now as she thought about what I had said.

My eyes returned to that magic spot between her legs momentarily, as I pondered how to word my next sentence.

"Who else have you thought about?" she asked in a faraway tone.

"Well...., if you promise you won't think it's gross.....," I said, pausing for a response.

"No..., no, I don't think it's gross!" she said, looking back at me with pleading eyes.

"Well...., I'm kinda embarrased to tell you who else I was thinking about," I said teasingly.

"Aw, c'mon....., I promise I won't tell!" she begged.

"Well...., you really won't have to...., 'cause...., I kinda have been thinkin' about doin' it with you," I said softly, not really lying about it now.

A look of complete surprise came over her face as her head raised from its resting place slightly and her hands came apart. Her mouth gaped open as she took in what I had just said and I noticed a distinct deep red blush spread across her face.

"Larry...!" she exclaimed, not really knowing what to say next.

"Y-y-you've really..... thought about...., y'know..., having sex..... with me?!" she asked in disbelief.

"Well....yeah," I said, more confidently. "You're a pretty girl, and even though you don't really have any tits yet, you still have a nice body."

She blushed again, instinctively reaching down and wrapping her skirt around her legs, drawing them together and hunching over to rest her chin on her knees once more. It was obvious that she had been flattered about my remarks, but at the same time she was totally caught off guard with the thought of someone wanting to have sex with her. I could see her playing out the scene in her mind as she sat there, rocking back and forth slightly.

A long, pregnant pause elapsed before anyone said anything again. It was me who initiated the next question.

"Well..., what do you think?" I asked her. "Do you think you would want to have sex with somebody like me?"

"NO!" she exclaimed. "I couldn't....., I mean....., I'm only eleven-years-old. I shouldn't be doing stuff like that. And besides, you're fifteen!"

"So, I know some girls who did it when they were nine- years-old," I lied.

"Oh yeah....., who?" she demanded.

"Well...., I promised I wouldn't tell. And promises are promises," I said, trying to get myself out of that one.

Pauline thought for a moment before saying, "Well...., I dunno....., I just don't think I better do anything like that."

"OK, OK......, but if you COULD do it, do you think you would do it with somebody like me?" I asked, trying to keep on the topic.

"Well...., I dunno," she said blushing. "I...., I guess so."

I just smiled back at her, "Thanks, Pauline. I needed to hear that!"

She looked back at me, and an embarrased smile flashed across her face as she had to look away. I wasn't through with her yet, however. I just HAD to get something out of all of this. My dick was pressing against my pants with one of the most raging hard-ons I had ever had. I had noticed Pauline looking down at my crotch a couple of times as we had talked about doing it, but I wasn't sure if she saw anything as my hand was still in my pocket, paritally hiding the tent-like effect my dick was having on my pants.

I waited a few more moments before starting again, "You know...., I don't even know what a naked girl looks like."

"What about your sister, haven't you seen her naked before?" she asked.

"Well....yeah. But that was a long time ago, when she was just a little baby. Besides, it's not the same when you see your sister, especially when she's only one-year-old."

I continued to look at Pauline. She was all balled up, and refused to look at me when we weren't talking. I had decided that I just had to at least see her bare little pussy, even if she wasn't gonna let me fuck her. At least I would have something to go whack off with for a while.

"What about you...., would you let me see you naked?" I asked hesitantly. "I'll let you see me naked."

"I..., I don't know. I better not," her voice showing her uncertainty.

"Aw, c'mon Pauline," I begged. "I'll probably never get to see a naked girl until I get married...., if I ever DO get married."

"I-I don't know, Larry." she said nervously.

I could tell she was actually considering it, but she still would have rather I hadn't asked. Even so, the thought of seeing a naked boy probably for the first time intriqued her.

"I'll make it worth your while," I went on. "I'll buy you an banana split when the ice cream man comes by."

She paused for a moment, biting her upper lip as she contemplated my proposal. The agony of the moment was almost unbearable for me.

Finally, she spoke, " Well....OK...."

I almost leaped for joy inside, but I kept my cool on the outside. At least as much cool as I could considering my state of excitement.

"But you've got to promise that you'll not touch me. And you've got to promise not to tell ANYBODY. And you still have to buy me the banana split." she rattled on.

"OK, OK," I interupted, "I promise, I promise."

"C'mon, let's go to my grandpa's barn where nobody will see us," I said, grabbing her by the hand and rushing her away before she had a chance to change her mind.

Grandpa's barn was way off in a field by itself, surrounded by a few old oak trees on the sides and back. He used it mainly to store hay for his cows, and hardly ever came there during the summer. He also kept an old Studebaker out there, and that is where Pauline and I stopped to carry out our deal.

"You go first," I told her.

"Can't we both just go at the same time?" she asked.

"Well...., yeah..., sure," I said almost reluctantly, not wanting to miss one second of her bare pussy being exposed.

"Remember, you can't touch, and you've got to buy me that banana split," she said.

"I know, Pauline. You don't have to keep reminding me," I said, as I unzipped my pants and she pulled her panties down under her skirt.

I quickly shucked my cut-offs down, exposing my underwear and the large bulge sticking out into it. Pauline had bent over to pull her panties down to about her ankles, then stood up, stepping out of them with her left foot and flipping them off with her right. As she stood, she became transfixed by the sight of my bulging underwear.

Knowing that her pussy was naked under her skirt, and that I was about to see it seemed to make my dick even harder than ever. What's more, knowing that my naked cock was going to be so close to a naked pussy, and me not getting to at least stick it in was more than I could bear. I just had to have more than just a look. My mind raced over what I could say to coax her into letting me at least try to stick it in her as we both slowly began to expose our sex to each other.

I bent over as I slowly lifted the waistband of my underwear over my pulsing cockhead, sliding them down my legs. My face was about a foot and a half from Pauline's crotch, as she slowly lifted her skirt. The hem slowly inched it's way up, and just as I saw the first signs of a tiny hairless slit she stopped.

"Well, stand up so I can see it. We've got to do it together," she demanded.

Reluctanly I stood up, my hard dick pointing up at her face at about a 45 degree angle. Pauline gasped as she looked at it bobbing slightly in front of her.

"OK, Pauline, take your skirt off," I said impatiently.

"I'm just going to lift it up so you can see it, I don't want to take it off," she replied.

I was at the point where I didn't care, just so long as I could see her whole pussy. Quickly she jerked her skirt up over her waist to expose my first full view of a live girl's pussy. It was so beautiful, just a tiny little hairless slit laying there between her closed legs. I marveled at the smooth folds of skin, and the lack of anything else around them.

"Spread your legs a little bit, Pauline. I can't really see anything yet," I asked, my voice almost choking in my throat.

Pausing for a second, she then stepped outward with first one leg, then the other, leaving me a clear view of the little line running down her crotch and disappearing up under her. We stood lie that for a little bit, both of us in awe of each other before I spoke again.

"Pauline.....," I began, "Just let me stick it in you one time...., PLEASE! Just one time, that's all."

"I don't know....," she said cautiously, "besides, you said all I have to do is show you my thing, then you would buy me the banana split."

"I know, I know....., but you look so pretty down there...., a-and guys who have done it before tell me that it feels REAL good when you do it. I promise I'll only stick it in and then pull it right back out...., OK?" I pleaded as I watched her let the hem of her skirt relax downward a little as she thought.

"Well.....," she thought for a moment, looking at my cock, "I......, I guess it will be alright....., just one time though."

"OK," I said, "I get to stick it in you all the way one time, then I'll pull it out."

"Then you buy me the banana split," she added.

"Then I buy you the banana split," I acknowledged. "C'mon over here to the car, we can do it in the backseat."

She dropped her skirt back down and stood by the car door as I opened it. Then she jumped in and lay down on her back across the seat, pulling her skirt up. One leg draped off the edge of the seat, giving me my first good look at her whole, hairless little pussy slit. It started just a little ways up the front of her body and continued down all the way between her legs connecting with the crack of her ass, making one continuous line. The lips of her hairless twat were tight together, leaving no clue as to where her little hole might be.

Slowly, I climbed in the car over her until my dick hovered right over the top of her slit. I wasn't quite sure just where it was supposed to go, so without further ado, I began poking at her slit with my dick. The first prod ran along the very top portion of her hairless slit, the head of my cock parting her lips slightly as it slid up and onto her lower belly. She giggled a little bit at this new stimulation, as the shaft of my dick slid against her preteen clit. I raised up and tried again, producing the same effect. I propped myself up with my left arm as I backed up a little and eased my dick head down her slit with my right hand. 'Where is her little cunt hole,' I thought as my cock head explored the length of her slit. Suddenly, my dick felt something slightly more moist and hotter than before. 'That must be it," I thought, as I held my dick in place and pushed slightly. Her hole was tight, and my dick glanced off and ran down between her ass cheeks.

Again, I backed up and placed the head of my dick at the entrance to her tight, hairless hole and pushed. This time I felt the head go in slightly. As hard as my dick was, it began to bend so I backed off of the pressure a little, but keeping my dick in the same place. Once more I pushed in, and again I felt my dick slip in a little more. This time when I stopped, I felt the walls of her pussy begin to slip down around my cock, readjusting themselves to where they had formerly been. Again I pushed, and I noticed that her pussy lips seemed to go with my dick inside her. When I stopped again, I could see her slit slowly reappear as the walls of her pussy slowly slid back down my dick.

Again I pushed, and suddenly Pauline gasped. I wasn't sure what happened, all I was sure about was that the feeling was incredible. It was like pushing my dick through layer after layer, fold after fold of hot, moist skin. Her tiny hairless hole was so tight that I could only go in a fraction of an inch at a time. Each time I pushed, her whole twat would go with me, and each time I stopped her hole would slowly ease it's way further down my dick, giving me the feeling of passing yet another fold of her inner skin.

I could tell that Pauline was experiencing some discomfort, but she was not protesting. This was a business deal. Both of us had a bargain to keep, and she was certainly going to keep hers. After all, it wasn't very often that a kid around here got a banana split.

I kept up my assault on her tight, hairless, virgin cunt. I had almost gotten my entire dick in her on the last push when I felt the bottom of her pussy come into contact with the head of my dick. The last push had only allowed her pussy to slip down my dick part of the distance of my thrust, and her tiny slit was just barely visible between her legs, my dick resting snugly between them.

Well, I was all of the way in now. We looked at each other, both of us breathing heavily as I stayed inside her for a moment, relishing the feeling of my cock buried deep inside this eleven-year-old's tight, hairless pussy.

"Pauline....," I managed to speak between gasps, "how about if I move my dick back and forth inside your pussy some? I'll still buy you a banana split!"

She lay there with my dick inside her for a moment, panting heavily as she thought before asking hoarsely, "How many times do you want to do it?"

I looked at her for a moment. I hadn't thought about that. How many times does it take before I can cum?

"I dunno...," I gasped, "maybe about...., a hundred?"

I hurried to quell the look of apprehension on her face by explaining, "A hundred times is not a lot. Hell...., I can count to a hundred in less than a minute!"

She looked at me for a moment, then nodded in agreement as I began to slowly withdraw my dick until it was about halfway inside her. As I withdrew, the inner walls of her pussy seemed to hold onto my dick, creating an effect similar to the one when I entered her.

Gradually I began pumping back and forth. The grip of her pussy, combined with the wetness and moisture was causing that familiar feeling deep within my loins. Her gasps became little "Ahh's" that came in time with each quickening thrust of my dick inside her.

I don't think I needed to bargain for "about a hundred times", as the combination of the feeling of her tight hairless cunt wrapped around my dick, the feeling of her tiny body under mine, and the fact that she was looking me right in the eyes as I fucked her brought me over the edge with the most ball busting orgasm I had ever had.

The force of my orgasm forced me to thrust completely inside of her, burying my dick to the hilt. I could feel the hard little nub of her cervix pressing against my cock head as I erupted spurt after spurt deep inside her preteen pussy. The amount of my jism was so much, and the room inside her was so little, that after I filled her preteen womb completely with my spunk, I began to feel it spurt out between my dick and the walls of her twat, running down onto my balls and between the crack of her ass.

I had expended so much energy on my orgasm that I collapsed on top of her, my dick still buried deeply inside her. I rolled over slightly and eased my dick back out of her tiny twat, and as my cock head emerged from between her hairless pussy lips, one last spurt of pent up jism held inside my dick from the tightness of her pussy splashed across the bare lips of her slit, covering them completely.

Our deal was done. It was late however, and the ice cream man had already gone by for the day. It was also getting on to be about supper time, so Pauline slipped out of the car and put her panties back on under her skirt, leaving my cum dripping out of that sweet hairless hole and soaking those pretty white cotton panties.

I saw Pauline around the neigborhood a lot after that. I heard from my freinds that she eventually fucked almost every other boy in the neigborhood, but we never again got together like that, nor did we ever speak of it again. Come to think of it, I never did buy her that banana split!

Re:but can they get laid? (-1, Redundant)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#23981521)

is this shit really necessary?

Absolutely (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#23982467)

I am crouched in the bathtub in a frog-like stance, small puddles of urine and liquid shit at my feet. I'm leaning forward, gripping the side of the tub and biting my knee, overwhelmed by a mixture of pain and pleasure as I piston a dildo in and out of my ass.

You see, I really love anal masturbation.

Ever try it? No? You should.

Doesn't matter who you are. God gave all of us, male and female, an abundance of nerve endings in our rectum - and one life to live. So why don't you go ahead and test out the equipment? Have some fun. No point in having a gun sitting on your shelf your entire life and never killing anyone, right?

But I realize there's a fairly persistent misconception among guys that I'm gonna have to dispel before we go any further:

Stimulating your own ass is not "gay."

That notion doesn't make a whole lot of sense. I mean, how could anything you do to your own body be gay? Nobody ever freaks out in the middle of jerking off like "Holy fuck, I've got a fistful of cock! I've gotta cut this gay shit out!" Well, what's the philosophical difference between playing with your dick and playing with your ass?

There is none.

Look fellas, here's the scoop:

If you have a girl wearing a foot long strap-on, smacking your face and screaming "WHO'S MY BITCH?!?" while she pounds your asshole until it bleeds, that would be a *heterosexual* act. Girl on guy. Simple.

Now if it's a guy that's fucking you, that would be homosexual. And if you're doing it to yourself, well, that's plain old masturbation.

But listen - if you're still sitting there being stubborn, all macho and uptight going "My ass. . . is EXIT ONLY!!!" then lemme just ask you a question.

You know that feeling you get when you take a really big shit?

You know what I'm talking about. You're sitting on the couch, eating Cheez-Its and watching Larry King, when all of the sudden you feel that familiar burning. . . so you get up and bound off to the bathroom all bow legged, clenching your sphincter real tight, and then you furiously rip off your boxer briefs and plop down on the seat just in time to let a huuuuuuge thick turd come sliding out of your ass?


That feeling.

That tingling, chills up your spine, this-is-absolutely-the-pinnacle-of-human-existence feeling.

Well guess what. That's the feeling of a massive rod moving through your rectum, tickling those wonderfully abundant nerve endings. You love it. It's okay. We all do. It doesn't make you a fag. Or at the very least, we're ALL fags. So indulge yourself.

(Yes, I understand that said feeling is partially due to the sensory experience of toxins leaving the body, which is unique to defecation - but the operative word here is "partially." You like the log movement, too. Don't try to argue.)

So anyway, now that you've decided to be bold, and not a homophobic pussy, and poke around the cornhole a little bit - good for you. But there's something you should remember. Anal masturbation is just like playing the accordion, or shooting a jumper, or really anything else that's worth doing. That is, it requires practice.

You see, back when I was a kid I would get curious and stick a finger or a toothbrush up there, but I wasn't fucking around with anywhere near the kind of pleasure I'm achieving now. It was uncomfortable even. So I worked on it.

And conversely, I know I'm still far from expertise in this particular discipline. I don't claim to be an ass master. There's a whole world of lengths, girths, textures, and vibrations that my eager browneye has yet to inhale.

But since I have honed my skills to a pretty decent level, I'll share with you my current technique. Without further ado:

SpunkyBrewster's Anal Masturbation Technique

What You Need:

1. Lubricant of your choice
2. Fake cock (eight inches, approx.)
3. Ridged anal wand (seven inches, approx.)


1. Apply a generous amount of lube to your index finger, and swirl the lubricated finger lightly around your butthole. Add another drop or two of lube, and then simultaneously push your finger into your butthole while pushing back with your anus muscles.

2. Slide your finger into your ass up to the knuckle and feel around for turds. Unless you're an anorexic, you probably will come across one.

3. Circle your finger around your anal walls pressing outward, as if you were an umpire signaling a home run. You should be near the toilet, because this is intended to stimulate a bowel movement. Once you've shit, and your rectum is empty, then you're ready for some heavy duty fun.

4. Lube up a second finger and slip them both into your poopchute. Let your asshole get comfortable with the new mass, and then begin to pump a little. Repeat with a third finger if you so desire.

5. Slather lube all over the ridged anal wand. Squat over your tool and press the tip to your now greasy anus. Just as you've done with your fingers, ease the dildo into your cornhole as you push back onto it with your ass muscles. Go slowly, stopping at each ridge and letting your ass adjust to the increase in width, until you have it in as far as it will go.

6. Now it's time to start pounding. I'm not gonna get more specific than that. Do it your own way. Experiment with different positions and rhythms until you find what you like.

7. Once your ass has been thoroughly fucked by the anal wand, it's time to move up to the larger dildo. Again, you're going to repeat the process that you've done twice already, with your fingers and the wand. Entering slowly, pushing back on it, letting yourself adjust, and then starting to pump.

8. At this point your asshole is really loose, gaping even, and it's time to move on to my favorite part. Crouch down, or get into whatever position you feel comfortable with, and hold the fake cock in one hand and the wand in the other. Work the fake cock in and out, building the pace until you are doing a high intensity rectal plundering. Slide it in really deep, pause, then pull it out all the way - quickly jamming in the anal wand to fill its place. The rapid transition from smooth to ridged textures will send waves out of pleasure rippling through your entire body. Then give yourself a nice hard fuck with the anal wand, and repeat as many times as you'd like.

*In carrying out these steps - even if you take the dump at the beginning - you still might at some point fuck the shit out of yourself. This is why I recommend doing it in a bathtub, or on some other surface that is easy to clean. Now at first you might be squeamish about the poo, but I think that as you get hardcore into the pleasure of all this, you'll just naturally get desensitized. Kind of like a heroin addict quickly gets over his fear of needles.

In fact, I've found that the right kind of poo can easily be incorporated into the festivities. Sometimes while I'm pounding away I will feel a sudden rush of heat travel through my ass, and I'll know that I'm coating the dildo with a somewhat viscous liquid shit. At this point in the ass ramming, my pain tolerance is rather high, so I'll simply jam the shitty dildo back up my ass, and let the sudden decrease in lubrication create an effect similar to the aforementioned smooth-to-ridged transition. As a matter of fact, this is probably the most intense sensation that I've come across in my entire anal masturbatory experience.*

So that's how it's done. Quite the activity, I must say. Maybe next time you're feeling bored and restless, you can give it a shot. Unless you're a fucking prude, in which case I'd recommend suicide. Or do a goddamn crossword puzzle, I don't really care.

One more thing I want to say on the subject: I really think anal penetration should be an Olympic sport. Wouldn't that be neat? I mean for Christ sakes, we've all seen how much those little Japanese bastards can eat - can you imagine how much they could stuff up the other end? It could even be a team sport where one of them has to take their partner's entire head up their ass.

Well. . . I don't really know how much support I'm gonna get for my petition to add competitive rectal insertion to the Olympic Games, we'll have to see - but seriously, speed walking? FUCKING CURLING?!? It would be far from the dumbest event on the schedule.

Re:Absolutely (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#23982787)

you know, I think sticking an 8-INCH FAKE COCK up your pooper is, in fact, gay.

on behalf of Europe (5, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#23981511)

fuck you America

signed, Europe

Re:on behalf of Europe (3, Insightful)

brxndxn (461473) | more than 6 years ago | (#23981569)

fuck you America

signed, America

Re:on behalf of Europe (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#23981615)

You can sign that with Europe too.

Re:on behalf of Europe (5, Insightful)

Opportunist (166417) | more than 6 years ago | (#23982177)

To shorten things:

Fuck you, America

signed, world

Re:on behalf of Europe (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#23982405)

Fuck you America and the EU

Me (a European BTW)

Re:on behalf of Europe (4, Insightful)

ScrewMaster (602015) | more than 6 years ago | (#23981597)

Hey, it's your leaders that are agreeing to this shit. Put the blame on their shoulders ... they could have said "no".

What? (3, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#23981665)

We don't want to put anything on their shoulders.

We do want to remove something though.

Re:What? (1)

ruffles321 (1023357) | more than 6 years ago | (#23981727)

now that's a good idea. oh, and nobody said anything about travelers... "get private citizen data" not only travelers. Reminds me of the "Team America" movie - Police the world. There are a few words that come to mind to describe it, none of them acceptable here though.

Re:on behalf of Europe (2, Funny)

WoollyMittens (1065278) | more than 6 years ago | (#23982109)

Leaders maybe... But we sure as hell didn't get to vote for any of the European Parliament. They're not democratically elected.

Re:on behalf of Europe (1)

NewbieProgrammerMan (558327) | more than 6 years ago | (#23982397)

Oh, smashing, groovy, yay democracy!

Re:on behalf of Europe (1)

sa1lnr (669048) | more than 6 years ago | (#23982415)

You're either for us or against us.

We did say no (1)

edxwelch (600979) | more than 6 years ago | (#23982459)

At least Ireland did

LIAR! (4, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#23982819)

That's a lie, I read it in the paper. Ireland may have said no, but we can't know for sure that's what they REALLY meant. Obviously we need a new vote to see what people really think, and if it turns out to be a no again we should try again. For the sake of democracy. Until we get a yes. Then we can stop with the votes because then the people have decided! Long live our democracies!

Sig reply (3, Interesting)

jonaskoelker (922170) | more than 6 years ago | (#23982491)

Here's a reply to your signature:

All Americans suck because all European politicians are just as bad as their American counterparts.

Fuck the EU politicians.

Signed, a citizen of Denmark.

Interesting anecdote: "Junibevægelsen mod EU" (the june movement against EU, a quite small political party) did arrange a weekend trip to Bruxelles a good year ago, where we got to meet with a politician's advisor gave a talk about the market price of corn and agricultural subsidies, and a journalist who spoke (among other things) about telephony and roaming charges (the politicians wanted to offload their phone bill on the citizens; self-serving bastards). And of course some time off to goof off and eat dutch fries (you know, with fish and mayonnaise).

Here's the punchline: what I learned from that trip is that although it is indeed possible to travel to Belgium, and if you prepare in advance you may be able to get the attention of a politician, citizens of pretty much anything other than Belgium have to spend a large amount of time doing so, plus they have to take off a sizable portion of their work week to meet the politicians when they're actually there. In short, regular citizens don't have any real access to a political body that governs non-trivial parts of their lives.

They're supposed to say "yes." (1)

StreetStealth (980200) | more than 6 years ago | (#23982677)

American leaders, EU leaders... all serving at the mandate of vast numbers of people utterly petrified at the thought of ethnic stereotypes lurking around every corner, waiting to launch unspeakable horrors.

The majority has spoken. Congratulations.

Re:on behalf of Europe (1)

Opportunist (166417) | more than 6 years ago | (#23982763)

Yeah, we could have voted differently.

The US ain't the only country where the "I voted for Kodos" meme applies. It's not like calling any other party to the helm would have changed a thing.

Fabulous (4, Insightful)

Instine (963303) | more than 6 years ago | (#23981523)

Just what I would have wanted my unelected EMPs to do on my behalf. Thanks guys. Keep up the good work.

Re:Fabulous (4, Insightful)

jo42 (227475) | more than 6 years ago | (#23981567)

The terrorists have won.

Re:Fabulous (3, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#23981765)

Ach, please don't say 'terrorist' like it's labels a group of people with a common cause.

The terrorist moniker is a dumming down.

Re:Fabulous (1)

intx13 (808988) | more than 6 years ago | (#23981853)

I wouldn't say that. The "terrorists" don't really get much out of this (whoever they are) - this is just going to create more identity theft problems for our European neighbors.

It's stupid, yes, and it's invariably going to create a whole host of headaches, and I have no idea why any EU official would possibly think this is a good thing... but this is typical government nonsense, not terrorism.

Re:Fabulous (1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#23982015)

What he means is that through the act of trying to "protect" people from terrorism, in both the United States and abroad, the governments of democratic nations everywhere are imposing draconian restrictions on their own populations which destroy the very ideals that these "free" nations stand for.

By trying to restrict terror, we are in fact subjugating ourselves to it.

Thus, the end result of "terrorism" is being achieved.

Re:Fabulous (2, Insightful)

Opportunist (166417) | more than 6 years ago | (#23982253)

It's one of those "we gotta do something" things.

Voters demand actions from their leaders when things go wrong. They can't just sit there and say "Ok. We can't do anything. Let's grab popcorn and watch the world come to an end". Even if that's the only thing to do. They wouldn't get reelected if they did. The media would rip them apart.

So they do something. It doesn't solve the problem, actually, it pisses off a lot of people, but it appeases the masses who don't think but just demand action. They got action now. And it's sold as the miracle cure to a disease that can't be cured easily, or at the very least not directly.

Re:Fabulous (2, Insightful)

TheGratefulNet (143330) | more than 6 years ago | (#23982481)

and I have no idea why any EU official would possibly think this is a good thing..

deals. its all about closed-door deals. you scratch my back and I'll tattle on your neighbor.

follow the money, as they say. or the motivation. its about 'making an offer you can't refuse. I honestly do believe that. when the US comes knocking, you CANNOT say no. and that's a goddamn SCARY thought, albeit a true one.

why do you think the riaa/mpaa have so much international power? they're a US entity, afterall. but when the US 'suggests' an idea to a foreign semi-friendly nation, they NEVER EVER decline. ever notice that?

the US gives and the US gets. its all about deals. it was never about right or wrong, but about power trades and exchanges.

Re:Fabulous (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#23981975)

They are the terrorists!

Just remember Bush family connections with the nazis and that Zé Manel Barroso is a former maoist that changed to "social democracy"...

Re:Fabulous (2, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#23982165)

And so have shady politicians and the war profiteers.

Re:Fabulous (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#23982663)

Our unelected leaders have won, terrorism is nothing more then a tool to let their decisions make look as something we could have wanted. A very effective tool though.

Re:Fabulous (3, Informative)

wvmarle (1070040) | more than 6 years ago | (#23982021)

You could have voted, you know. There are elections for the European parliament. It's just that no-one shows up (typically 20-40% of registered voters actually votes).

counting votes (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#23982729)

Is it as true in Europe as it is in America that it is not who votes that counts but who counts the votes?

Re:Fabulous (5, Informative)

Halo1 (136547) | more than 6 years ago | (#23982105)

Just what I would have wanted my unelected EMPs to do on my behalf.

The EMP's, who are actually directly elected, have nothing to do with this agreement (and if you'd read the article, you'd see they are more critical of it than anyone else).

It's being negotiated by the Commission with a mandate of the EU Council of Ministers (who will later still have to, and probably will, approve it). The EU Council of Ministers consists of the ministers from all national governments (different ministers depending on the subject being discussed). You know, those ministers who always approve unpopular measures when they're in the Council and then later at home blame the EU for having to implement those same measures in national law.

Re:Fabulous (1)

Opportunist (166417) | more than 6 years ago | (#23982803)

And that's what bothers me about this practice to no end.

First, they issue the EU guideline (read: something you have to make a law in your country), then they come and say they're so awefully sorry that they have to implement that, but the EU forces them.

Who the fuck made that guideline in the first place?

If there is anyone to blame for the EU to have a bad name and getting people irate over its "senseless" guidelines, it's the member countries ruling parties that abuse the EU as a scapegoat for unpopular laws.

For socialist revolution to sweep away imperialism (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#23981545)

Forge a revolutionary workers party! For the Bolshevik program of Lenin and Trotsky!

Gah! (4, Insightful)

Realistic_Dragon (655151) | more than 6 years ago | (#23981609)

The EU is so good at selling us out they even take paypal.

The right standard for decisions about handing private data over to the US should be; will the President and the members of congress submit to having the same data about them printed in European papers?

Re:Gah! (1)

WK2 (1072560) | more than 6 years ago | (#23981825)

No, but they'll happily give your governments our private citizen data. You'll have to pay more for it, though, since there's more of us.

Re:Gah! (1)

wvmarle (1070040) | more than 6 years ago | (#23982007)

That would never happen as it is against EU privacy laws. And in the EU, the rule of law is pretty much respected. Unfortunately it seems less and less so on the other side of the pond. Especially when "terrorism" enters the argument.

Re:Gah! (1)

HalAtWork (926717) | more than 6 years ago | (#23982427)

But the president has enough power to pardon and influence their way out of any trouble their information lands them in. They also can spread disinformation campaigns... and in the case of Bush, looks like he can just ignore a problem, even ignore his own illegal actions and other politicians will follow, and the citizens and media will just take it.

Registration required? (1)

Godji (957148) | more than 6 years ago | (#23981627)

Is there a copy of TFA anywhere that does not require registration?

Re:Registration required? (1)

freedumb2000 (966222) | more than 6 years ago | (#23981725)

Have you even tried the link?

Re:Registration required? (5, Informative)

socsoc (1116769) | more than 6 years ago | (#23981841)

NYTimes randomly requires free registration on popular stories.

Some bugmenot accounts []

Do we get their data in return? (1)

tripwirecc (1045528) | more than 6 years ago | (#23981637)

Is this an one way deal? If so, then fuck the US and our politicians in the EU even more for agreeing to that silly deal.

Re:Do we get their data in return? (1)

stranger_to_himself (1132241) | more than 6 years ago | (#23981953)

No. They get our data, and after years of waiting we get finally get Oreo cookies. I think it's a win-win situation.

Re:Do we get their data in return? (1)

aproposofwhat (1019098) | more than 6 years ago | (#23982233)

We've already got them in the UK - I saw a poster for Oreos the other day.


There was a fine sketch on 'Not the Nine O'Clock News' many years ago, which in this context sums it up: Rowan Atkinson was talking at the Tory Party Conference about Asian immigration, and the punchline was -

I like curry, but we've got the recipie now, OK?

Substitute Oreos for curry in the above, and you've got my feelings on US impositions on our culture.

Re:Do we get their data in return? (1)

ShiningSomething (1097589) | more than 6 years ago | (#23981987)

How would Europeans getting their hands on American data make anything better?

One word for you USA... (0, Flamebait)

Sobieski (1032500) | more than 6 years ago | (#23981681)


Re:One word for you USA... (1)

MyLongNickName (822545) | more than 6 years ago | (#23982681)

You should be more pissed at the EU than the US. I mean your own folks are selling you out.

How bad is this? (3, Interesting)

damburger (981828) | more than 6 years ago | (#23981683)

I've been critical of the US on Internet forums; is this going to give me hassle getting in when I visit next month?

Re:How bad is this? (4, Funny)

oldhack (1037484) | more than 6 years ago | (#23982013)

Where you visiting? Gitmo?

Re:How bad is this? (1)

game kid (805301) | more than 6 years ago | (#23982025)

Don't worry.

We can quickly destroy the evidence (and the forum servers, and you too, you traitorous alien of America) with our unmanned drones and shredders. No hassles for you!

--The White House

Re:How bad is this? (1)

Znork (31774) | more than 6 years ago | (#23982093)

I doubt it.

Now, if you have a name like some suspect, or look like some other suspect, or if they need a scapegoat, that's another thing. If they can get the profiles in advance, it's much easier to pick the appropriate scapegoats, and they can even be waiting for them on arrival. Nothing personal, but the government needs to be looking like it's doing something.

Of course, you'd know if you were guilty of being an reasonable scapegoat, right?

I said goodbye to the US last time I was there. The country's just not the same anymore, and there are better places to go that actually welcome visitors. Maybe it'll change in the future, but until then I'm taking my money and business elsewhere.

Re:How bad is this? (1)

damburger (981828) | more than 6 years ago | (#23982207)

I've already got to fill in some homeland security forms just to be let off the plane. It is a very intimidating environment for a visitor, and I am going to be concerned that MI5 is going to casually pass my name as a possible subversive to them, and suddenly I'm classed as a threat.

is this going to get me hassle: YES .. :) (3, Insightful)

rs232 (849320) | more than 6 years ago | (#23982363)

"I've been critical of the US on Internet forums; is this going to give me hassle getting in when I visit next month?"

Yes, and you'll be less likely to criticize the government the next time, which I suspect is the chief purpose of such legislation. You see, without the ever present specter of communism to protect up from, the US needed something else to scare us with. Step forward Al-Qaeda and the IslamoFascist bogyman.

"A watched population is a compliant one", Adam Suttler .. If he didn't say it, he thought it .. :)

Re:How bad is this? (1)

n dot l (1099033) | more than 6 years ago | (#23982483)

Meh. You could be saying all sorts of good things about the US and they'd hassle you. If the list of random evil people's names doesn't get you, the poor, uneducated morons on a power trip that run airport security will (imagine Heathrow, only worse). That's just the nature of travelling to (and within?) the USA these days, and likely will remain so until some future president declares victory on terror and gets around to the next big issue (like, say, fixing their economy).

Re:How bad is this? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#23982565)

Yes, you will be detained for several hours. You will miss any connecting flights, you anus may be examined. Any electronic goods will be confiscated. You will have finger prints taken and retina scans made before any of this.

Welcome to America!

why browsing habits ? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#23981685)

WASHINGTON â" The United States and the European Union are nearing completion of an agreement allowing law enforcement and security agencies to obtain private information â" like credit card transactions, travel histories AND INTERNET BROWSING HABITS â" about people on the other side of the Atlantic Ocean.

oops I better stop reading the nytimes. It has been deemed a terrorist site by the DHS. I dont want to get on the person of interest list maintained by our police state.

Reciprocity (2, Insightful)

camperdave (969942) | more than 6 years ago | (#23981687)

I think it's time we start publishing data on our politicians and the heads of corporations that deal with the government and see how they like it.

Re:Reciprocity (2, Insightful)

NewbieProgrammerMan (558327) | more than 6 years ago | (#23982685)

They generally seem to [] not like it [] . But ten to one if someone consistently delivered this kind of retribution against privacy-violating politicians, they'd find themselves in jail, because that's one of those things they'll make sure is written into the law: they can do it, but you can't. Since we're all "working together to end terrorism" now, anybody actively opposing such good-willed spying will be classified as a terrorist and silenced in one way or another.

By Odin's beard, I sure am cynical today.

Am I understanding this correctly? (1)

Robert1 (513674) | more than 6 years ago | (#23981689)

"So, now we know what step three is: setup a security agency in US to resell otherwise unavailable data."

Did the editors just allow the entire thread to be trolled?

So this means ... (2, Funny)

tuxgeek (872962) | more than 6 years ago | (#23981701)

the US wants to become the global police?

This could be made into a great cartoon, no wait ...


The Jewish Dilemma - Free Pork

Sweet (4, Insightful)

pembo13 (770295) | more than 6 years ago | (#23981749)

I really don't have a problem with a country messing with its citizens and even its geographical neighbors -- I think that's well within every countries right even if I don't like the specifics of what they are up to (China for eg.). However, this apparent effort my the American government to rule increasingly larger parts of the words his really disheartening. How about they stick to spying on their own citizens, that's much more fair (since it is a democratic nation)

Reciprocity (3, Insightful)

denoir (960304) | more than 6 years ago | (#23981789)

Well, this goes hand in hand with another law proposed in the EU. If it passes all blogs of EU citizens will have to be registered with the government. So now the US can get private data on EU citizens and perhaps in return the EU can get a list of those criminal Europeans that have unregistered blogs on US servers.

A quote from the MEP that was responsible for the proposal:

I think the public is still very trusting towards blogs, it is still seen as sincere. And it should remain sincere. For that we need a quality mark, a disclosure of who is really writing and why.

I may have to flee to China to keep some of my individual rights. Lovely.

Re:Reciprocity (4, Informative)

denoir (960304) | more than 6 years ago | (#23981829)

Forgot to post a link to the proposed law, so here it is [] . And yes, it's for real.

Inaccurate summary (4, Interesting)

Aaron England (681534) | more than 6 years ago | (#23981803)

I RTFA. The Times does not say that the EU is going to hand over private information to US authorities. Rather the article informs readers that the two bodies of government are working towards a common set of privacy standards and safeguards that should be implemented if said bodies of government decided to one day share private information.

Re:Inaccurate summary (1)

causality (777677) | more than 6 years ago | (#23981915)

I RTFA. The Times does not say that the EU is going to hand over private information to US authorities. Rather the article informs readers that the two bodies of government are working towards a common set of privacy standards and safeguards that should be implemented if said bodies of government decided to one day share private information.

You say that as though you doubt the inevitability of it. My bet is that they're already doing this in a clandestine way and are seeking to retroactively legitimize it like they did with the telecoms' cooperation with the wiretaps.

It seems obvious to me that our news services are compromised, otherwise we would hear about how these things are a threat to our freedoms. Instead, all we hear is the party line about how all of these things are necessary to protect us from $vaguely_identified_enemy, with a single sentence along the lines of "but some groups express privacy concerns" thrown in to give an appearance of balance. Never is there a detailed outline of why "some groups" have "privacy concerns" about a government that is becoming increasingly authoritarian and knows more and more about you, or the fact that we were warned about this precise condition by the Founding Fathers. None of that is going to appear on CNN or Fox News, and if either were worth a damn it would.

Re:Inaccurate summary (1)

Aaron England (681534) | more than 6 years ago | (#23982069)

I don't presume to know the "evitability" of it. I was simply toning down the sensationalism of the headline. Of course this will make it easier in the future for the EU to transfer information to the US and concerned EU citizens should be worried over this fact. But to state that the EU has decided to hand over private information and that some sort of agreement has been reached to permit this is misleading.

Re:Inaccurate summary (1)

TheGratefulNet (143330) | more than 6 years ago | (#23982429)

It seems obvious to me that our news services are compromised .

It seems obvious to me that our news services are merged and owned by a select ruling class.

there, FTFY.

if you read it in the news, its likely more for ENTERTAINMENT (or control) purposes than actual information dissemination.

Re:Inaccurate summary (5, Informative)

Simon (S2) (600188) | more than 6 years ago | (#23981929)


I did.

The Times does not say that the EU is going to hand over private information to US authorities.


"The United States and the European Union are nearing completion of an agreement allowing law enforcement and security agencies to obtain private information â" like credit card transactions, travel histories and Internet browsing habits â" about people on the other side of the Atlantic Ocean."

to me, means exactly that.

Re:Inaccurate summary (2, Informative)

Aaron England (681534) | more than 6 years ago | (#23982031)

Read further down and you will see this "agreement" is discussing privacy safeguards and standards that would make it lawful for the EU to transfer information to the US. This is why the article is titled "US and Europe Near Accord on Privacy", not EU to transfer private information to the US.

Re:Inaccurate summary (2, Informative)

Simon (S2) (600188) | more than 6 years ago | (#23982261)

As I understand it, that is one point they still have to agree on:

"The negotiators are trying to agree on minimum standards to protect privacy rights, such as limiting access to the information to âoeauthorized individuals with an identified purposeâ for looking at it. If a governmentâ(TM)s policies are âoeeffectiveâ in meeting all standards, any transfer of personal data to that government would be presumed lawful."

But that is just a technical point they have to discuss. The main point of "sharing data" is still valid.

accurate summary .. (1)

rs232 (849320) | more than 6 years ago | (#23982027)

"The Times does not say that the EU is going to hand over private information to US authorities"

My understanding of it is: that the US is going to monitor all activity on it's residents and will hand such information over to the US, without warrant or evidence of criminal or 'terrorist' activity. And we can't even sue you guys if you lose the data. Given the lack of controls over governmental abuse in your country, shouldn't we be monitoring you. And just because you guys want to turn this place into the front line against 'terrorism' doesn't necessarily mean that we want to go along with it. The text of the article:

"The United States and the European Union are nearing completion of an agreement .. to obtain private information [] -- like credit card transactions, travel histories and Internet browsing habits -- about people on the other side of the Atlantic Ocean."

"the two sides are still at odds on several other matters, including whether European citizens should be able to sue the United States government over its handling of their personal data, the report said"

'the two sides have agreed that information that reveals race, religion, political opinion, health or "sexual life" may not be used by a government "unless domestic law provides appropriate safeguards."'

What's next (3, Insightful)

Qwavel (733416) | more than 6 years ago | (#23981843)

>> So, now we know what step three is: setup a security agency in US to resell otherwise unavailable data.

No, step three is that they setup a security agency in Europe so they kidnap these suspicious looking people and put them on flights to Syria (or wherever) for torture.

As a EU citizen... (4, Interesting)

EvilAlphonso (809413) | more than 6 years ago | (#23981891)

I would like to know which country isn't planning to go down that route so I can sell all my stuff and move out of the way.

Having worked as a contractor for other European Institutions, I know absolutely nothing gets in the way of the Commission once it decided something. After all, it's not like they have to be re-elected or anything.

as a UK resident .. (1)

rs232 (849320) | more than 6 years ago | (#23982167)

I ain't a EU citizen, I'm a resident of the United Kingdom and a loyal subject of her Mag, don't need anyone monitoring me for subversive activity. I can remember when they told us the EEC was about a Common economic Market and was never about some United States of Europe. But I guess that was another heap of baloney, like the promise that they'll protect out privacy. Remember these are the same people that bugged the UN, or are we supposed to not remember that.

Re:as a UK resident .. (1)

TheGratefulNet (143330) | more than 6 years ago | (#23982277)

I'm a resident of the United Kingdom and a loyal subject of her Mag, don't need anyone monitoring me for subversive activity.

so, you never leave home and avoid ALL the closed circuit TV cameras that the UK is so good at?

if anything, people in the UK are far far worse off then anything the US can and will do. when I get depressed about how bad things are in the US, at least I can say I don't live in the UK - aka, the nanny state!

your society has crashed and the cameras are just insult added to injury. our society is almost crashed - but not quiet yet; they're still working on it (its a work-in-progress).

Re:as a UK resident .. (1)

Alphager (957739) | more than 6 years ago | (#23982393)

But I guess that was another heap of baloney, like the promise that they'll protect out privacy.

Said the citizen after passing roughly 300 CCTVs on his way to the interview booth.

Re:As a EU citizen... (1)

TheGratefulNet (143330) | more than 6 years ago | (#23982373)

I would like to know which country isn't planning to go down that route so I can sell all my stuff and move out of the way.

dream on. power is addictive. which government does NOT enjoy power?

the terrorists have ruined us, truly. what a shame. I'm old enough to remember when privacy EXISTED. pity my future kids won't have a shred of info (other than what they read in history books) about what true individual dignity and privacy is all about.

horse has left the barn, never to return. RIP.

This is merely outsourcing (1)

petes_PoV (912422) | more than 6 years ago | (#23981893)

Have a problem that costs a lot to solve - for very little apparent gain?

Find some other country/organisation that has an interest in the outcome and let them do it for you.

Strictly speaking, the phrase for this is "having an axe to grind[1]", although the meaning of this phrase is frequently mutated into ranting on about something.

[1] Having an axe to grind: a task you want performed, but don't fancy doing yourself. Persuade, deceive or con some other person into doing it for you.

Re:This is merely outsourcing (1)

nacturation (646836) | more than 6 years ago | (#23982273)

[1] Having an axe to grind: a task you want performed, but don't fancy doing yourself. Persuade, deceive or con some other person into doing it for you.

If you meant this ironically (and my irony-o-meter is off) then you can stop reading now. Otherwise, I think you have the definition incorrect.

From: []

"Have a dispute to take up with someone or, to have an ulterior motive/ to have private ends to serve."

Already happened (1)

benwiggy (1262536) | more than 6 years ago | (#23981979)

Returning to the UK from holiday recently, the lady at Passport control laughed when she looked at my place of birth in my passport, saying "Oh, our American colleagues can never pronounce that place properly."
At which point, I said "What are you doing discussing my place of birth with Americans....?"
Then she got officious and moved me along.

The upside (1)

ShiningSomething (1097589) | more than 6 years ago | (#23982019)

The upside to this agreement is that basically doubling the people they are "monitoring" will mean said monitoring will be much less effective. Americans and Europeans will have potentially less privacy, but in reality there will be no change.

Re:The upside (1)

jps25 (1286898) | more than 6 years ago | (#23982171)

The upside to this agreement is that basically doubling the people they are "monitoring" will mean said monitoring will be much less effective. Americans and Europeans will have potentially less privacy, but in reality there will be no change.

Are you really that naive? I don't even have the words to come up with a polite answer to such a dense comment.

As a European... (1)

WoollyMittens (1065278) | more than 6 years ago | (#23982035)

As a European who keeps up with politics I am shocked to read about this, massive sell-out of my privacy, here first. As far as I know, there has not even been a debate about this! Since using soft-drugs and downloading music is legal here, I can only imagine what would happen to tourists who visit the USA lured by the favourable dollar only to end up jailed in no-man's land for breaking US laws retroactively from Europe.

Ha-ha (3, Funny)

codeshack (753630) | more than 6 years ago | (#23982045)

I think I speak for all US-EU dual citizens when I say that this is awesome. Because now I probably only have to pay to be spied on by *one* of my governments. Hellooooo tax rebate!

And the circle goes round and round... (1, Interesting)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#23982225)

This sort of thing has been going on for years, decades, and centuries. It's just that it's getting harder to flee to another location and start over fresh.

None of this will affect normal citizens, until they inconveniently find themselves on the wrong side of the law, or more accurately, the wrong side of some asshole's pet peeve. Then, all hell breaks loose. But, the rest of the masses will be assured through propaganda that this wasn't an average Joe, but a terrorist/criminal/whatnot. And all will feel "safe" again. Until they're on the wrong side of interested parties.

The short story is that those that aren't in the ruling class have never been really free, neither 1000 years ago, nor today. Governments change, the accepted political paradigm of the day changes, the "non-evil" social structure changes, but the rules stay the same. You have no rights. If things become inconvenient, rules change.

And I suspect it will stay that way, mainly because there are only 2 types of people. People that will complain but abide, which are the majority, and people that will fight to death even if the only reason for doing so is dignity, and these people are a minority, and that is exactly why rulers have always been able to get away with it.

Interesting enough, you can see this kind of behavior in other mammals that have a strong social structure.

I'm a fighter by nature, and will likely die doing so (my expected life span suggests that there will be many regime and governmental changes along with wars before my natural death occurs), but I have little hope that outrages on the /. and other internet forums will change anything. If anything, the internet is a great place for average citizens to blow off steam, get a sense that others also feel angry at the current situation of things, and then get on with their lives as if nothing ever happened. I'm positive that the internet has decreased the number of public demonstrations and violent uprisings.

I used to teach a course (3, Interesting)

TheGratefulNet (143330) | more than 6 years ago | (#23982355)

in electronic mail (back at DEC in the 80's and early 90's). I regularly traveled to the UK and europe to teach my 1week course there. the same course was given in the US every 6 weeks or so.

one thing that I learned when I was attending the 'train the trainer' for this course was that euro privacy standards are (well, USED TO BE) very strict. in the course, we used to talk about PMF (personnel master files) and how LITTLE could be shared even in the same company (DEC) but between different countries. email for things like 'all-in-1 mail' (wow, anyone remember that?) used to depend on having access to personnel info (more or less) and yet we taught that very little could be shared between countries, mostly just the first and last name and country they were in and that's about it!

my my, how things have changed.

does this mean .. (1)

rs232 (849320) | more than 6 years ago | (#23982409)

Does this mean that everyone in the European Union is a potential opponent of the USA, moms apple pie and all things goodness and niceness. If so, whatever would turn them against the worlds greatest democracy. I mean it's the place everyone wants to go to, isn't it, apart from me that is .. :)

2nd Amendment upheld by US Supreme Court (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#23982461)

Don't you think the Euros were wishing for such an amendment right about now :-)

The only thing that keeps the US Gov't from falling over into complete tyranny is a violent armed populous. I think the founding fathers were on to something.

Commercial Echelon? (1)

bill-dozer (836295) | more than 6 years ago | (#23982691)

How is this different from echelon? Why does the US need this? Aren't we already doing this?

Glad (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#23982809)

On days like this, I'm glad to be from Switzerland and not being part of the EU...

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