Beta

Slashdot: News for Nerds

×

Welcome to the Slashdot Beta site -- learn more here. Use the link in the footer or click here to return to the Classic version of Slashdot.

Thank you!

Before you choose to head back to the Classic look of the site, we'd appreciate it if you share your thoughts on the Beta; your feedback is what drives our ongoing development.

Beta is different and we value you taking the time to try it out. Please take a look at the changes we've made in Beta and  learn more about it. Thanks for reading, and for making the site better!

cancel ×

517 comments

Ha! See! I told you! (5, Funny)

morgan_greywolf (835522) | about 6 years ago | (#24084297)

There you guys sit, all laughing at me at pointing and jeering at my Tinfoil Hat 3000(tm), but look who's sitting pretty now! Ha! Fsckers!

Re:Ha! See! I told you! (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | about 6 years ago | (#24084353)

Of course a tinfoil hat will be no defence since your head will burst into flames.

Re:Ha! See! I told you! (4, Funny)

L4t3r4lu5 (1216702) | about 6 years ago | (#24084891)

I give you... TinFoil Hat V.2!

This [dkimages.com] + this [ggpht.com] = WIN!

N.B. Links are JPEGs.

Re:Ha! See! I told you! (5, Funny)

ArcherB (796902) | about 6 years ago | (#24084369)

There you guys sit, all laughing at me at pointing and jeering at my Tinfoil Hat 3000(tm), but look who's sitting pretty now! Ha! Fsckers!

You won't be sitting pretty when you shiny new hat starts to spark and arc like a fork in the microwave!

Re:Ha! See! I told you! (3, Funny)

neokushan (932374) | about 6 years ago | (#24084491)

Of course, that's the REAL purpose of this weapon - something to use against all the tinfoil hats out there!

Re:Ha! See! I told you! (4, Funny)

snowraver1 (1052510) | about 6 years ago | (#24084527)

Somethings telling me to "Move along, there's nothing to see here".

Re:Ha! See! I told you! (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 6 years ago | (#24084595)

There you guys sit, all laughing at me at pointing and jeering at my Tinfoil Hat 3000(tm), but look who's sitting pretty now! Ha! Fsckers!

You won't be sitting pretty when you shiny new hat starts to spark and arc like a fork in the microwave!

You hate fireworks or something? I mean, come on! Fireworks going off on somebody's head. That's pure comedy gold man.

Re:Ha! See! I told you! (0)

Hojima (1228978) | about 6 years ago | (#24084605)

Two myths I want to debunk right off the bat.
1) Subliminal messages don't work. It's a sham that a psychologist made with fake data that scared the crap out of politicians so that a law was implemented quickly and people fear it to this day (though I still do fear spammers using this, as they have no morals).
2) Microwaves refer to a certain spectrum of electromagnetic radiation. Your cellphone uses them, but the spectrum that your microwave uses happens to cause water molecules to resonate. These microwaves are of a different spectrum, and while they can be deadly, they are not the same.

Re:Ha! See! I told you! (5, Funny)

bennomatic (691188) | about 6 years ago | (#24084687)

1) Subliminal messages don't work. It's a sham that a psychologist made with fake data,,,

That's right! It's nothing but a load of rich creamery butter!

Re:Ha! See! I told you! (4, Informative)

Q-Hack! (37846) | about 6 years ago | (#24084767)

TFA doesn't give much in technical details, but as I understand it, they are using the human skull as a heterodyne circuit. Basically mixing two microwave signals inside the skull to create audio.
   

Re:Ha! See! I told you! (4, Insightful)

TheLostSamurai (1051736) | about 6 years ago | (#24084791)

1) Subliminal messages don't work. It's a sham that a psychologist made with fake data that scared the crap out of politicians so that a law was implemented quickly and people fear it to this day (though I still do fear spammers using this, as they have no morals).

So... Why exactly do you fear it if it doesn't work?

Re:Ha! See! I told you! (1)

L4t3r4lu5 (1216702) | about 6 years ago | (#24084807)

That sounds like Brain-Wash speak to me...!

Re:Ha! See! I told you! (3, Informative)

sm62704 (957197) | about 6 years ago | (#24084819)

I saw this last week in New Scientist [newscientist.com] . You're jumping to some very flase conclusions. It has nothing to do with subliminal messages. From the linked article:

The device - dubbed MEDUSA (Mob Excess Deterrent Using Silent Audio) - exploits the microwave audio effect, in which short microwave pulses rapidly heat tissue, causing a shockwave inside the skull that can be detected by the ears. A series of pulses can be transmitted to produce recognisable sounds.
<snip>
MEDUSA involves a microwave auditory effect "loud" enough to cause discomfort or even incapacitation. Sadovnik says that normal audio safety limits do not apply since the sound does not enter through the eardrums.

"The repel effect is a combination of loudness and the irritation factor," he says. "You can't block it out."

Re:Ha! See! I told you! (2, Interesting)

Troed (102527) | about 6 years ago | (#24084837)

Two myths I want to debunk right off the bat.

Great! I love to see myths debunked.

the spectrum that your microwave uses happens to cause water molecules to resonate. These microwaves are of a different spectrum, and while they can be deadly, they are not the same.

... unfortunately, that's one of them. The 2.4GHz spectrum was not chosen because water molecules somehow resonate better - and there's no real difference between 2.4GHz and various mobile frequencies around 1.8-1.9GHz with that in mind.

http://www.answers.com/topic/microwave-1?cat=technology [answers.com]

Re:Ha! See! I told you! (1)

omeomi (675045) | about 6 years ago | (#24084371)

This sounds kind of scary and kind of cool. If somebody offered to give me a demo, I'm not sure weather I would recoil in horror at the thought of microwave radiation being directed at my head, or jump at the opportunity to hear it...

Re:Ha! See! I told you! (1)

omeomi (675045) | about 6 years ago | (#24084385)

s/weather/whether/g

Re:Ha! See! I told you! (1, Interesting)

Anonymous Coward | about 6 years ago | (#24084857)

s/omeomi/jerk/g

Re:Ha! See! I told you! (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | about 6 years ago | (#24084585)

"sure I'll hear that demo. . ."

"Were no strangers to love
You know the rules and so do i
A full commitments what Im thinking of
You wouldnt get this from any other guy

I just wanna tell you how Im feeling
Gotta make you understand

never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you"

"AHHH make it stop!!!!!"

Re:Ha! See! I told you! (5, Informative)

DigitAl56K (805623) | about 6 years ago | (#24084593)

It's more scary than cool.

The article at NewScientist [newscientist.com] says:

MEDUSA involves a microwave auditory effect "loud" enough to cause discomfort or even incapacitation. Sadovnik says that normal audio safety limits do not apply since the sound does not enter through the eardrums.

Also from NewScientist, a member of the Electrical and Computer Engineering Department at the University of Illinois in Chicago who has also worked on the technique has commented that while feasible, attaining the necessary volume might involve power levels that could cause neural damage.

Oblig. Videodrome (1)

ins0m (584887) | about 6 years ago | (#24084827)

Long live the new flesh!

Equality (4, Funny)

Joe the Lesser (533425) | about 6 years ago | (#24084389)

It's like curing Schizophrenia the backwards way!

Re:Equality (1, Interesting)

Anonymous Coward | about 6 years ago | (#24084497)

Harrison Bergeron [westvalley.edu]

Re:Ha! See! I told you! (5, Funny)

MightyYar (622222) | about 6 years ago | (#24084403)

I was going to make fun of you, but then my new friend Roger told me not to.

Actually (1)

Junta (36770) | about 6 years ago | (#24084461)

In this case wouldn't your new friend encourage you to think of a tinfoil hat as ludicrous? I mean, after all, what is in your friend's best interests...

Re:Actually (2, Funny)

MightyYar (622222) | about 6 years ago | (#24084533)

Ahhh! You sound just like Jake!

Re:Ha! See! I told you! (1)

The Crooked Elf (1042996) | about 6 years ago | (#24084413)

I speculate a tin-foil hat will do you little good against this "microwave audio" device. According to TFA, all standard forms of defense against auditory input are nonfunctional, since the device transmits audio directly into your skull, bypassing your ear altogether.

Re:Ha! See! I told you! (5, Insightful)

JustKidding (591117) | about 6 years ago | (#24084531)

"all standard forms of defence against auditory input" probably means anything in or covering your ears. The tinfoil hat only blocks electromagnetic waves, which is what they are supposedly using.

The tinfoil hat might actually be one of the few ways you can block this without any special materials or equipment.

If they see someone with a tinfoil hat, they'll probably just yell at him.

Re:Ha! See! I told you! (1)

John Hasler (414242) | about 6 years ago | (#24084623)

The system works by way of microwave pulses absorbed by your head. An aluminum foil hat would be quite effective against it.

Re:Ha! See! I told you! (1)

Fackamato (913248) | about 6 years ago | (#24084425)

Ha! Fsckers!

What? Checking my filesystem has suddendly become "nerdy"? Why I oughta...

I AM laughing at you! (5, Funny)

GameboyRMH (1153867) | about 6 years ago | (#24084435)

http://people.csail.mit.edu/rahimi/helmet/ [mit.edu]

Conclusion
The helmets amplify frequency bands that coincide with those allocated to the US government between 1.2 Ghz and 1.4 Ghz. According to the FCC, These bands are supposedly reserved for ''radio location'' (ie, GPS), and other communications with satellites (see, for example, [3]). The 2.6 Ghz band coincides with mobile phone technology. Though not affiliated by government, these bands are at the hands of multinational corporations.

It requires no stretch of the imagination to conclude that the current helmet craze is likely to have been propagated by the Government, possibly with the involvement of the FCC. We hope this report will encourage the paranoid community to develop improved helmet designs to avoid falling prey to these shortcomings.

Ha Ha!

/Nelson

Re:I AM laughing at you! (2, Insightful)

hey! (33014) | about 6 years ago | (#24084885)

I've been saying this all along. Tinfoil hats,and Faraday cage like devices in general, can't be relied upon unless they're grounded.

In many cases, you'll get significant attenuation without grounding, as in the case of foil shields for protecting passport RFIDs, but grounding, even imperfect grounding, would improve shielding tremendously.

Obviously, you should run a wire from your tinfoil hat to a conductive grounding strip attached to the heel of your shoe. Then you replace your floors with carbon impregnated panels, and for the final touch connect them to a six foot copper rod driven into the earth.

Re:Ha! See! I told you! (2, Interesting)

b4upoo (166390) | about 6 years ago | (#24084613)

Perhaps we can beam an entire education into the minds of young people. Think about it. Roughly half of America's young people reach the age of 18 at being virtually retarded these days. Beaming voices into peoples' heads might be a highly useful tool.
            It also might be used to teach people what Islam really is in places like Iraq where an entire religion has been subverted and perverted into a really nasty mess. Teaching real Islam to the public might cure this problem.

Re:Ha! See! I told you! (2, Interesting)

Majik Sheff (930627) | about 6 years ago | (#24084779)

Hmm, I thought of the Islamist tack as well, but I had a different approach. Let's use their zealotry against them.

We'll see how motivated they are to blow themselves up when Allah himself tells them that suicide bombing is a deal breaker on the whole eternal paradise thing.

Re:Ha! See! I told you! (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 6 years ago | (#24084825)

(Beam me up Scotty).

Microwaves? (-1, Redundant)

KaizerttheBjorn (1039348) | about 6 years ago | (#24084307)

It uses microwaves? Well then it'll probably break if they try to aim it at a tin foil hat.

Since 1986... (4, Funny)

Illbay (700081) | about 6 years ago | (#24084321)

...I've had the voice of Reagan inside my head.

Re:Since 1986... (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 6 years ago | (#24084499)

So that's where it went!

Re:Since 1986... (4, Funny)

sm62704 (957197) | about 6 years ago | (#24084507)

Reagan? Wasn't that the name of the possessed girl in The Exorcist?

Thanks to these microwave guns, you no longer need to be schitzophrenic to hear voices. There have been a lot of tinfoil hat jokes (of course) in the comments, but it appears that if you're going to be part of a political demonstration from now on, a tinfoil hat may be necessary to keep the Secret Police out of your head.

A New Age (1, Insightful)

The Crooked Elf (1042996) | about 6 years ago | (#24084331)

This is surely the dawn of a new age for conspiracy theories, second only to that of the advent of recorded media (with all of those damned subconscious messages).

Buy from Sierra Nevada Corporation (1)

coren2000 (788204) | about 6 years ago | (#24084337)

*ZAPP*

"You will buy more products from Sierra Nevada Corporation"
 
/me drooling... "I will buy more products from Sierra Nevada Corporation"

Re:Buy from Sierra Nevada Corporation (1)

Archangel Michael (180766) | about 6 years ago | (#24084395)

I think Sierra Nevada [sierranevada.com] and all is well.

Sierra Nevada? (4, Funny)

gabeman-o (325552) | about 6 years ago | (#24084345)

I wonder how many Pale Ales you have to drink to get the same effect.

Re:Sierra Nevada? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 6 years ago | (#24084795)

Can I get a research grant to study that?

Total recall (1)

courteaudotbiz (1191083) | about 6 years ago | (#24084347)

Will they finally be able to sell vacation to other planets and just "implant" the souvenir of this trip in my head? Exciting!

That's Ironic (5, Insightful)

ComputerGeek01 (1182793) | about 6 years ago | (#24084349)

that they should name it Medusa, a villain who was defeated by reflecting it's magic back at it...

Re:That's Ironic (4, Insightful)

electrosoccertux (874415) | about 6 years ago | (#24084561)

Unfortunately, this time she's not sentient.

This goes just too far. If there were ever to be a law against free speech, this would be it, because I don't want to listen to what this thing has to say. I value silence. That ear plugs wouldn't work against this thing...

Re:That's Ironic (4, Insightful)

Reality Master 101 (179095) | about 6 years ago | (#24084719)

If there were ever to be a law against free speech, this would be it, because I don't want to listen to what this thing has to say. I value silence.

You already have this. The right to free speech is NOT the right to be heard by everyone, despite what a lot of people think.

Re:That's Ironic (1)

MRe_nl (306212) | about 6 years ago | (#24084607)

Mob Excess Deterrent Using Silent Audio, MEDUSA

The horror of american acronym addiction strikes again.
Or should that be American Acronym Addiction?

Re:That's Ironic (1)

Underfunded (1039600) | about 6 years ago | (#24084641)

That is insensitive! Just because she was fugly does not mean she was a villain!

They obviously didn't consider.. (5, Funny)

AlterRNow (1215236) | about 6 years ago | (#24084359)

.. the fact it wouldn't affect people who already hear voices.

Re:They obviously didn't consider.. (2, Funny)

Toutatis (652446) | about 6 years ago | (#24084821)

On the contrary, those people will be able to do some thinking while the old voices in his head talk with the new ones.

Is this the same... (4, Funny)

oodaloop (1229816) | about 6 years ago | (#24084373)

technology as the /. article a few months ago? I seem to remember a govt prototype or some such device that was trying to do the same thing. In any case, I hope this spurs the development of professionally made tin foil hats. The crude home-made variety aren't going to cut it anymore.

The Sierra Nevada Corporation? (4, Funny)

rpillala (583965) | about 6 years ago | (#24084393)

Are they working out of Black Mesa?

Re:The Sierra Nevada Corporation? (4, Funny)

superid (46543) | about 6 years ago | (#24084475)

that was a joke,
ha ha
fat chance

Whatever (3, Interesting)

Bwana Geek (1033040) | about 6 years ago | (#24084405)

Pfft. Call me when they implement a 'microwave digital surround effect' on this thing. Then I'll be impressed.

So will the 2.0 version use Gamma Radiation? (4, Funny)

jayhawk88 (160512) | about 6 years ago | (#24084431)

In my day they only had ads on TV and radio. And in magazines and movies and ball games and on buses and milk cartons and written in the sky. But not in dreams, no-siree!

Interesting. (1)

Duncan Blackthorne (1095849) | about 6 years ago | (#24084433)

Anybody have any idea what division of SNC is working on this? Once upon a time I used to work for those guys..

Where did the development $ come from? (4, Interesting)

Presto Vivace (882157) | about 6 years ago | (#24084439)

Is this one of DARPA's toys?

And we wonder why people are paranoid? (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | about 6 years ago | (#24084447)

Look at me, I can't even post under my username anymore.

Re:And we wonder why people are paranoid? (4, Informative)

b4upoo (166390) | about 6 years ago | (#24084729)

Paranoia is serious. I lost a best friend of many years to paranoia when he became so convinced that the government was out to get him that he hung himself. This very week my brother in law attempted suicide due to his hallucinations that involve his believing that the FBI is invading his mind. He is now being held under the Baker Act for 72 hours. Just maybe a different prescription might quiet his hallucinations. Paranoia can and does frequently cause murders where the sufferer becomes so convinced that someone is out to do him harm that he strikes first as a desperate act of supposed self defense.
        Believe it or not mental illness means nothing in Florida. If you are so crazy that you think Santa Clause is an FBI agent out to kill you and you strike out that does not meet the standard for legal insanity here. The idea that you feel it is right to preserve your own life will be taken as proof that you have a knowledge of right and wrong, Society is sick.

That explains it. (4, Funny)

140Mandak262Jamuna (970587) | about 6 years ago | (#24084459)

Microwave audio effect? That explains why I keep hearing "90% power... white rice... sensor cook" over and over again.

Re:That explains it. (3, Funny)

mrslacker (1122161) | about 6 years ago | (#24084673)

Never mind the voice that's telling me to visit a house that's about to be filled with popcorn. Just think, they could have avoided the effort of the implant, and used microwaves for both.

Getting laid more (3, Funny)

Pvt_Ryan (1102363) | about 6 years ago | (#24084465)

Toot with this i can now insert the message "Sleep with me" in the heads of attractive women everywhere!!!

Denise Richards & the olsen twins here I come..

Re:Getting laid more (4, Funny)

kalirion (728907) | about 6 years ago | (#24084529)

Toot with this i can now insert the message "Sleep with me" in the heads of attractive women everywhere!!!

Denise Richards & the olsen twins here I come..

Ok, now I'm confused.

Re:Getting laid more (1)

Pvt_Ryan (1102363) | about 6 years ago | (#24084587)

muh they are sisters.. hmmm sister sandwich..

scary. (4, Insightful)

apodyopsis (1048476) | about 6 years ago | (#24084467)

remote torture anybody?

imagine playing Cliff Richard to you victim incessantly. unable to sleep. unable to get away from it. all you need is somebody to point this thing at his head.

imagine doing it at just enough of a low level so he is not aware of it.

imagine jururs being threatened at long range. imagine blackmail from a distance.

what if an unverifiable, untraceable voice announces in your ear "rob the bank or I shoot your wife", what would you do?

this is damn scary, where is my magneto helmet?

Re:scary. (4, Interesting)

Eudial (590661) | about 6 years ago | (#24084567)

imagine playing Cliff Richard to you victim incessantly. unable to sleep. unable to get away from it. all you need is somebody to point this thing at his head.

Imagine the rick rolling possibilities. We're in for a world of pain if these things become available on the internet.

On a more serious note, engineering and scientific work ethics? Does that at all exist anymore? I can't imagine anyone willingly developing a technology with so many malevolent uses. Didn't we learn anything from the Manhattan project?

Re:scary. (2, Interesting)

kalirion (728907) | about 6 years ago | (#24084581)

Could a microwave gun really hit a single head out of a crowd?

Re:scary. (3, Insightful)

pxc (938367) | about 6 years ago | (#24084657)

what if an unverifiable, untraceable voice announces in your ear "rob the bank or I shoot your wife", what would you do?

Don't react. If they believe they can't contact you, then they'll try something else to get whatever they want out of you before killing your wife. It will at least give you some awareness of the situation and probably buy your wife some more time.

Re:scary. (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 6 years ago | (#24084801)

Very good points, and perhaps its use should be banned. However, as some very interesting technologies develop over the next century, we have to be careful to avoid technophobia. We can occasionally ban certain uses of certain technology, but we should NEVER ban research (except in very extreme circumstances).

Re:scary. (2, Interesting)

apodyopsis (1048476) | about 6 years ago | (#24084811)

I just thought of a few more - a tinnitus emulator - playing a barking dog at a cat to freak it - play a common mobile phone noise at a crowd, see who reaches for their pocket - or more disturbing, play the sound of a woman screaming - play a dog barking at a horse race to fix the finals really I think we are scratching the surface here, this is one deeply unethical product. who can think of some more?

Re:scary. (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 6 years ago | (#24084867)

if an unverifiable, untraceable voice announces in your ear "rob the bank or I shoot your wife", what would you do?

I'd do what I always do:

Lithium, Prozac, bottled water,
Valium, Haldol, piece of pie!

Works every time.

Re:scary. (1)

Stan Vassilev (939229) | about 6 years ago | (#24084899)

what if an unverifiable, untraceable voice announces in your ear "rob the bank or I shoot your wife", what would you do?

this is damn scary, where is my magneto helmet?

So someone is about to shoot your wife, and you're looking for a helmet? You set your priorities right, sir :)

Let's be serious for a moment: you can send threats via prepaid cellphone just as well, and you can torture a prisoner with conventional speakers, also just as well.

It's a fancy new device, but I don't see apocalypse coming :)

From TFA... (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 6 years ago | (#24084479)

The MEDUSA is useless against a raging pack of schizophrenics.

Hurray! finally something positive about having schizophrenia!

Obligatory Futurama (2, Funny)

dkleinsc (563838) | about 6 years ago | (#24084493)

Buy Lightspeed Briefs!

Re:Obligatory Futurama (2, Funny)

xgr3gx (1068984) | about 6 years ago | (#24084573)

Warning ... Objects in mirror may be more attractive than they appear.

As long as tehy are not allowed (1)

Pvt_Ryan (1102363) | about 6 years ago | (#24084503)

for politicians to use on campaigns...
I'd have to murder them putting campaign thoughts in my head..

One step away from the Jedi Mind Trick (1)

Kawolski (939414) | about 6 years ago | (#24084519)

This didn't start out as a secret government weapon but just another innovative invention that boils down to a new clever way to get laid.

but what about better hats? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 6 years ago | (#24084541)

We can make the tinfoil hats to defeat these guns...uhw wait..no we can't...voices say so...the voices...they won't stop...no no no, stop them...must...not...resist...ARRGGGGG

These are not the droids you are looking for. (2, Funny)

MillionthMonkey (240664) | about 6 years ago | (#24084553)

"...These are not the droids we're looking for."

You weak minded fool! He's got a Jedi mind gun!"

slashed! (1)

s4ck (895807) | about 6 years ago | (#24084603)

there you go.

what if thousands of concurrent microwave audio signal would beamed a person... would it "slashdot" it/him/her?

crazy...

At last! (2, Interesting)

OmgTEHMATRICKS (836103) | about 6 years ago | (#24084615)

Looks like we finally have a real use for all those tin foil hats.

What would happen... (1)

YellowMatterCustard (1277360) | about 6 years ago | (#24084625)

if they cranked the thing WAY up? Death ray anyone? (Sorry, can't RTFA, slashdotted.)

Oh god (2, Interesting)

Lord MuffloN (1310101) | about 6 years ago | (#24084631)

Never. Ever. let any kind of ad or marketing branch get a hold of this, never. ever.

The sound gets in your brain... (1)

bonkeydcow (1186443) | about 6 years ago | (#24084633)

just like this liquid gets into this egg. Fishful of dollars [futurama-madhouse.com.ar]

YOU DO NOT WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH MY DAUGHTER (1)

digitalextremist (818027) | about 6 years ago | (#24084635)

Hey! What? W

John McCain Says: (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | about 6 years ago | (#24084645)

He'll reduce the budget by 2013. Funny how McCain doesn't mention reducing the MILITARY budget.

John McCain is a BUSH DRONE.

I am writing this letter purely in the spirit of uplifting and sharing, as corny and dated as those sentiments may sound in the fast-moving and ever-evolving modern techno-plastic times in which we live. Primarily, I want to share with you my view that it is a figment of John McCain's runaway imagination that he should deprive people of dignity and autonomy because "it's the right thing to do". The points I plan to make in this letter will sound tediously familiar to everyone who wants to appeal not to the contented and satisfied, but embrace those tormented by suffering, those without peace, the unhappy and the discontented. Nevertheless, the objection may still be raised that profits come before people. At first glance this sounds almost believable yet the following must be borne in mind: It would be great if we could criticize the obvious incongruities presented by him and his underlings. Still, if we take a step, just a step, towards addressing the issue of Stalinism, then maybe we can open people's eyes (including our own) to a vision of how to knock some sense into McCain. To be fair, if you were to tell him that his ignorant attempts to debunk myths often lead to the perpetuation of them, he'd just pull his security blanket a little tighter around himself and refuse to come out and deal with the real world. This is a suitable place in the letter to explain how McCain's paroxysms represent a new rapacious ethos that the worst classes of footling jabberers there are will eventually use to hurt others physically or emotionally. Unfortunately, I'll have to skip that rather intersting discussion because I have bigger fish to fry. In particular, I need to tell you that McCain wants to prohibit any discussion of her attempts to keep us everlastingly ill at ease. While it is clear why he wants that to be a taboo subject, when McCain says that the worst sorts of illaudable ignoramuses there are are inherently good, sensitive, creative, and inoffensive, he's just plain wrong -- not "partially wrong" but "completely and utterly wrong". More than that, in public, he vehemently inveighs against corruption and sin. But when nobody's looking, he never fails to interfere with my efforts to get him off our backs.

I don't suppose McCain realizes which dialectic principle he's violating by maintaining that there's no difference between normal people like you and me and surly, pudibund criminal masterminds. Therefore, I shall take it upon myself to explain. Almost every day, McCain outreaches himself in setting new records for arrogance, deceit, and greed. It's sincerely breathtaking to watch him. From this perspective, the first lies that he told us were relatively benign. Still, they have been progressing. And they will continue to progress until there is no more truth; McCain's lies will grow until they blot out the sun.

We were put on this planet to be active, to struggle, and to convert retreat into advance. We were not put here to assail all that is holy, as McCain might allege. In spite of the fact that when I see McCain giving his implicit approval -- and in some cases explicit approval -- to reduce us to acute penury I think that nativism, as a social philosophy, is lackluster, his expositors don't represent an ideology. They don't represent a legitimate political group of people. They're just flat illiberal. Let his impulsive histrionics stand as evidence that he counts the most testy barrators you'll ever see as his friends. Unfortunately for McCain, these are hired friends, false friends, friends incapable of realizing for a moment that he acts as if he were King of the World. This hauteur is astonishing, staggering, and mind-boggling.

McCain consistently falls short of telling the whole story or of making a solid point. But that's not all: That fact is simply inescapable to any thinking man or woman. "Thinking" is the key word in the previous sentence. Although he won't admit it, the Orwellian implications of McCain's fibs are clear. I don't think anyone questions that. But did you know that he favors manipulative psychological techniques over honest discussion?

I truly wouldn't want to replicate the most reprehensible structures of contemporary life. I would, on the other hand, love to take off the kid gloves and vent some real anger at McCain. But, hey, I'm already doing that with this letter. When was the last time you heard him mention that we have come full-circle? Probably never. That's why I find that some of his choices of words in his machinations would not have been mine. For example, I would have substituted "humorless" for "ultraphotomicrograph" and "pathetic" for "philosophicojuristic."

Now that I think about it, I once tried to explain to McCain that his ideals will erect a shrine of neopaganism. Rather than feel ashamed of himself, McCain got angry at me. What this says is that it's easy for us to shake our heads at McCain's foolishness and cowardice. It's easy for us to exclaim that we should draw an accurate portrait of McCain's ideological alignment. It's easy for us to say, "McCain's offhand remarks smack of blackguardism." The point is that it's easy for us to say these things because I can no longer get very excited about any revelation of McCain's hypocrisy or crookedness. It's what I've come to expect by now.

That's why I laugh when I hear McCain's cat's-paws go on and on about alcoholism. But there's the rub; McCain says that he's the best thing to come along since the invention of sliced bread. Hey, McCain, how about telling us the truth for once? If Fate desired that he make a correct application of what he had read about libertinism it would have to indicate title and page number since the stinking slave to fashion would otherwise never in all his life find the correct place. But since Fate does not do this, now that I've been exposed to his principles I must admit that I don't completely understand them. Perhaps I need to get out more. Or perhaps repeating something over and over does not make it true. But let's not lose sight of the larger, more important issue here: his cankered values.

I wonder if McCain really believes the things he says. He knows they're not true, doesn't he? The answer to that question has broad implications. For example, there are few certainties in life. I have counted only three: death, taxes, and McCain doing some acrimonious thing every few weeks.

I hate it when people get their facts thoroughly wrong. For instance, whenever I hear some corporate fat cat make noises about how McCain is a model citizen, I can't help but think that there is a format McCain should follow for his next literary endeavor. It involves a topic sentence and supporting facts. He's a pretty good liar most of the time. However, McCain tells so many lies, he's bound to trip himself up someday.

McCain's teachings are rife with contradictions and difficulties; they're absolutely careless, meet no objective criteria, and are unsuited for a supposedly educated population. And as if that weren't enough, if one believes statements like, "McCain is always being misrepresented and/or persecuted," one is, in effect, supporting mindless proletariats. He maintains that national-security interests can and should be sidestepped whenever his personal interests are at stake. Perhaps it would be best for him to awaken from his delusional, narcoleptic fantasyland and observe that I must part company with many of my peers when it comes to understanding why his avowal that I'm some sort of cully who can be duped into believing that without his superior guidance, we will go nowhere is all cant and hogwash. My peers aver that we should stop playing by his rules of engagement and instead force him to play by ours. While this is honestly true, I suspect we must add that he claims that it's okay if his beliefs initially cause our quality of life to degrade because "sometime", "someone" will do "something" "somehow" to counteract that trend. Well, I beg to differ. That's the end of this letter. If I was unable to convince you that John McCain preaches tolerance yet actively refuses to tolerate views that differ from his own, then you should definitely consider contacting me with your supporting or refuting evidence, opinions, personal stories, etc., so that I can make a better argument in my next letter.

One step closer to Futurama (5, Funny)

smooth wombat (796938) | about 6 years ago | (#24084667)

Fry: So you're telling me they broadcast commercials into people's dreams?

Leela: Of course.

Fry: But how is that possible?

Professor Farnsworth: It's very simple. The ad gets into your brain just like this liquid gets into this egg. [Holds up an egg and injects it with liquid from a syringe until the egg explodes.]

Although, in reality, it's not liquid, but gamma radiation.

Leela: Didn't you have ads in the 21st century?

Fry: Well sure, but not in our dreams. Only on TV and radio, and in magazines, and movies, and at ball games... and on buses and milk cartons and t-shirts, and bananas and written on the sky. But not in dreams, no siree.

Re:One step closer to Futurama (5, Interesting)

sm62704 (957197) | about 6 years ago | (#24084915)

Futurama lifted that almost word for word from Isaac Asimov's Dreaming is a Private Thing.

This has been around for a while (2, Informative)

stoob0 (523024) | about 6 years ago | (#24084675)

Friend of mine told me about this in 2005. The intel guys have had this for a few years.

VALIS (1)

Anonymous Coward | about 6 years ago | (#24084693)

VALIS

Great, this is all we need... (1)

dwiget001 (1073738) | about 6 years ago | (#24084739)

and it should be outlawed immediately!

WTF are they thinking? Police ticket people for talking on their cell phones they are holding up to their heads. And, I know it is distracting, I was almost hit, twice, crossing a street, light with me, in the cross walk, by two people holding a cell phone to their heads, gabbing away, not paying attention to what the hell was going on with traffic, lights, etc.

All we need now is someone getting messages and other crap beamed into their heads while they are driving, operating heavy equipment, etc. and horrid accidents to follow. This crazy world has just got a bit more crazy.

Scary Thought... (1)

WCLPeter (202497) | about 6 years ago | (#24084743)

Can you imagine the kind of hurt we'd be in for as a society with a technology such as this?

Try to imagine a mega church having one of these things.

Everyone's sitting in the pews, the Reverend is off spouting something or other about a great evil when all of a sudden "This is the Lord your God, the Reverend is my agent on this earth. For he knows, as I do, what is most evil. As my children, you will do whatever he commands in the fight against the darkness."

"True" believers can already be a touch over zealous, imagine how much worse it would be with the "word of god" rolling through their heads!

Be great for parents of teenagers... (4, Insightful)

grassy_knoll (412409) | about 6 years ago | (#24084757)

Heck, combine it with some prerecorded messages and parents will snap these up "for the children".

Top sellers could be:

  • clean your room
  • take the trash out
  • study more

All with constant repetition which only ends when the desired action is performed.

... yes it's a joke. I hope.

Just what we need (3, Insightful)

damburger (981828) | about 6 years ago | (#24084773)

Another way for marketing wankstains to pollute our heads with their psychologically manipulate garbage. Hopefully the powers that be will see the strong public interest argument in not using this to beam 'important messages' into peoples heads.

What's Next? (4, Funny)

hyades1 (1149581) | about 6 years ago | (#24084799)

OK, I can deal with the fact that the Tinfoil Hat people have been right all along. Fine. I apologize for some of the unkind things I've said about them.

But dammit, I'm NOT going to start being nice to all the Moonbats, People Who Live In Their Parents' Basements, Loons, Head Cases, Half-wits, Technophobes, Technophiles, UFO Abductees, Conspiracy Nuts, Jerks, Berks and Wanna-be Captain Kirks just because, like a broken clock, they might manage to be right twice a day.

I mean it!

Sierra Nevada (2, Funny)

StuffMaster (412029) | about 6 years ago | (#24084803)

This explains why I like their beer so much. They're using mind control!

Election time (1)

slackoon (997078) | about 6 years ago | (#24084829)

Anyone else think it's a little convenient that this technology is coming out right at Election time?

Re:Election time (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 6 years ago | (#24084901)

How insane is this..
Freakin worry period if u ask me..
I guess one shud wonder, y now?? Election benefits?? Hmmmmm..
We don't want something like a Zimbawe happening, just on a more advanced scale..

Hypersonic Sound (5, Interesting)

Jizzbug (101250) | about 6 years ago | (#24084869)

These sound like HSS speakers, which use ultrasonic carrier waves to demodulate sound when the frequencies come into contact with flesh and bone.

http://www.atcsd.com/site/ [atcsd.com]

And friend of mine has a couple of these speakers. We recently used them at an art opening to beam the music of the primes into people's heads (playing the digital root of each prime number through a hexatonic scale, rests in the music were created by the occurrence of the primes in the digital-roots matrix we used to develop our own unique prime number sieve).

Load More Comments
Slashdot Account

Need an Account?

Forgot your password?

Don't worry, we never post anything without your permission.

Submission Text Formatting Tips

We support a small subset of HTML, namely these tags:

  • b
  • i
  • p
  • br
  • a
  • ol
  • ul
  • li
  • dl
  • dt
  • dd
  • em
  • strong
  • tt
  • blockquote
  • div
  • quote
  • ecode

"ecode" can be used for code snippets, for example:

<ecode>    while(1) { do_something(); } </ecode>
Create a Slashdot Account

Loading...