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SCO's Lawsuit Gets Even Crazier

kdawson posted about 6 years ago | from the if-such-were-possible dept.

Caldera 179

I Don't Believe in Imaginary Property writes "With SCO in Chapter 11 bankruptcy and there being little to read other than status reports and the boring financial details of how the company is wasting its last few dollars, one could be excused for thinking the SCO lawsuits had lost their zip. But things just got a bit more interesting. Jonathan Lee Riches has asked the court to take over. Yes, the man also known as inmate #40948-018 is now bringing his legal experience to the table, having previously filed pro se lawsuits against such entities as Michael Vick, Michael Jordan, Mickey Mantle, the Lincoln Memorial, the Thirteen Tribes of Israel, 'Various Buddhist Monks,' Mein Kampf, Denny's, George W. Bush, the Soviet Gulag Archipelago, Bellevue Hospital, Iran's Evin Prison, Auschwitz, and Plato. In his hand-written pro se motion (PDF), he asks to intervene as Plaintiff pursuant to FRCP 24(a)(2). As best anyone can read the motion, it appears that he offered Novell some 'royalty payments' and they refused them, so he wants to protect his UnixWare rights. He also claims to have proof of SCO's claims, but he wants take over part of the case via FRCP 24 because SCO isn't competent, and allegedly he could do a better job. To be fair, between him and Darl, it's something of a toss-up."

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To be fair, who among you HASNT wanted to sue (5, Funny)

antifoidulus (807088) | about 6 years ago | (#24202575)

Denny's or George W. Bush?

Re:To be fair, who among you HASNT wanted to sue (5, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | about 6 years ago | (#24202633)

I've wanted to (in both cases), even as a Canadian.

Re:To be fair, who among you HASNT wanted to sue (2, Funny)

elrous0 (869638) | about 6 years ago | (#24202773)

Screw that. I want some of the fat Plato cash!

Re:To be fair, who among you HASNT wanted to sue (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | about 6 years ago | (#24202883)

You'll be disappointed. Plato always exaggerated his numbers ten-fold. And most of what remained was stolen by Aristotle to build his philosopher's harem.

Re:To be fair, who among you HASNT wanted to sue (3, Funny)

snowgirl (978879) | about 6 years ago | (#24203029)

Pfff I want to sue "Mein Kampf", I mean, how many times do you get to sue an inanimate object? (To be fair, the Lincoln Memorial probably has a staff..)

Re:To be fair, who among you HASNT wanted to sue (4, Informative)

Rei (128717) | about 6 years ago | (#24203165)

He's also sued the Magna Carta. ;) I actually read about him when he triggered one of my Google News Alerts by suing Steve Fambro [greentechmedia.com] , founder of Aptera Motors, for not giving him a long-sleeved shirt to stay warm with. Aptera [daughtersoftiresias.org] is the company that's making the two hyper-efficient spaceship-like [greentechmedia.com] three wheelers: the $27k, 120-mile range Aptera Typ-1e electric car and the $30k Aptera Typ-1h plug-in hybrid.

Re:To be fair, who among you HASNT wanted to sue (1)

snowgirl (978879) | about 6 years ago | (#24205535)

"Close the door! What, were you born in a barn?" -- Police chief, "Jesus Christ Supercop"

I just read your sig... that's wow... hilarious, true, and no doubt going to offend someone...

I can't figure out (0)

virgil_disgr4ce (909068) | about 6 years ago | (#24203233)

...why the link to "pro se" is a particular revision instead of the current article?

Re:I can't figure out (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 6 years ago | (#24203445)

So that Slashdot doesn't end up linking to Goatse after some dick vandalizes the page. And what does this have to do with sueing Denny's and/or George Bush? Top-posting scum...

Re:To be fair, who among you HASNT wanted to sue (1)

damista (1020989) | about 6 years ago | (#24203407)

GWB, I can understand but excuse my ignorance: Who or what the heck is Denny's???

Re:To be fair, who among you HASNT wanted to sue (2, Informative)

Anonymous Coward | about 6 years ago | (#24203529)

It's a very low quality 24-hour diner common in the USA and elsewhere. Wikipedia [wikipedia.org]

Re:To be fair, who among you HASNT wanted to sue (3, Funny)

poetmatt (793785) | about 6 years ago | (#24203609)

very low quality is a complement. I'm amazed people haven't died from eating that food.

Re:To be fair, who among you HASNT wanted to sue (1)

deraj123 (1225722) | about 6 years ago | (#24203711)

Compared to most of the 24 hour diner's I've eaten at, Denny's is pretty decent fare...It's usually my choice for a "good" meal at 4am.

Re:To be fair, who among you HASNT wanted to sue (2, Funny)

poetmatt (793785) | about 6 years ago | (#24203935)

Denny's is edible, the same as IHOP (international house of prostitution - aka watch out for the cottage cheese discharges)

There's something in chicago that's open 24 hours thats somewhat of an Ed Debevics equivalent, that is obviously more expensive (city tax) but legitimately a worthy eat...wish I remembered the name.

Of course, any restaurant thats open after midnight the first response is that "your mileage may vary" as every place at that point is likely some form of a risk to eat at.

Re:To be fair, who among you HASNT wanted to sue (3, Funny)

snowgirl (978879) | about 6 years ago | (#24205579)

* WARNING: Consuming raw, undercooked food, or food from Denny's may increase your risk of food-borne illness.

Re:To be fair, who among you HASNT wanted to sue (1)

jgarra23 (1109651) | about 6 years ago | (#24203803)

I LOVE the Super Bird. Always have. Though I am pretty P.O.'D about the slight and gradual change in size (smaller) over the years, they are obviously trying to cut costs..

Hmm.. (4, Funny)

The Ancients (626689) | about 6 years ago | (#24202593)

To be fair, between him and Darl, it's something of a toss-up."

"Toss up"? You got that right.

Re:Hmm.. (1)

ettlz (639203) | about 6 years ago | (#24204141)

Oh, I can think of at least 50 better things to toss over.

Translation of PDF (5, Insightful)

Gewalt (1200451) | about 6 years ago | (#24202597)

It reads: "It's cold in here, and I'm lonely."

Re:Translation of PDF (1)

spun (1352) | about 6 years ago | (#24202727)

My favorite JLR quote:

"Philip Woolston and Apple Computers sexually assaulted me in my dreams and not in real life, I can't sue a dream."
 

Re:Translation of PDF (5, Insightful)

Otter (3800) | about 6 years ago | (#24203039)

Translation of this story: "Hey, let's laugh at that mentally ill person!"

Re:Translation of PDF (3, Insightful)

cyphercell (843398) | about 6 years ago | (#24203209)

are you sure? Maybe the mentally ill person is wondering why sco gets away with it and he doesn't? Honestly, if we were to admit he were mentally ill he wouldn't belong in prison, if he's not ill then surely he jests.

Re:Translation of PDF (5, Interesting)

jd (1658) | about 6 years ago | (#24204593)

The odds are near-certain that he is ill to some degree, and fairly high that he's ill enough to have had some sort of split with reality. Clearly not completely, if he's wanting to sue Denny's, but nonetheless significant. I've always thought that it would make more sense to split prison sentences into a penal phase actually in a prison, and a mental phase where the person is in a suitable facility that has comparable security and restrictions (ie: not a "soft option") but is primarily concerned with treating mental conditions.

The primary idea would be that you would then dispense entirely with the insanity plea, regard ALL who are convicted as needing some mental health care, and split the time accordingly. This means that all who actually do need treatment get it, and those who don't get a thorough health check, so nobody would lose. This would also eliminate the usual problem of the prosecution and the defense hiring mental health "experts" that look for what they want to see, and the whole problem of 'criminal insanity'. Such a concept would have no meaning, if all insanity gets treated and no insanity is punished. You'd have to be extremely careful to keep it to genuine help rather than control, but I don't see that as an impossibility.

The secondary aspect is that if some people get the mental health checks first, you might reduce prison violence and prison ganglands. If these attitudes can be attacked effectively, it has to be outside an environment they think they can rule. There is something macho to those guys about being in prison, it's even a medal of honor to some. I don't think they'd get quite that machismo kick out of being in a padded room with doctors who are going to utterly ignore their ravings.

Of course, this means you would need to build highly secure mental homes capable of handling three or four million people, have sufficient medical facilities in each to test and treat as necessary, and sufficient experts in the field to actually handle the volume of work. I'm not sure what 9.4T MRI scanners cost these days, but you really need to get to that resolution to diagnose anything other than the most coarse-grained of stuff. Nor do I know how much the highest resolution CAT, PET, fMRI and EEG systems cost. However, I don't imagine the full works for every major population center would cost more than a few tens of trillions of dollars in total. A hundred trillion at the outside. Not sure the return would come close to that, which is a pain, but it might finally kill the Wild West attitude towards justice that is found in so many countries, and that would be a Good Thing at almost any price.

The biggest drawback to this speculation is that quite possibly I'm the only one on the planet who thinks along these lines.

Re:Translation of PDF (3, Funny)

Gilmoure (18428) | about 6 years ago | (#24205045)

What was that about Denny's again?

Re:Translation of PDF (1)

gad_zuki! (70830) | about 6 years ago | (#24205487)

Right, because no mentally ill people have ever gone to prison!

Re:Translation of PDF (1)

inode_buddha (576844) | about 6 years ago | (#24205649)

Let's talk.

Re:Translation of PDF (4, Funny)

_KiTA_ (241027) | about 6 years ago | (#24203499)

Translation of this story: "Hey, let's laugh at that mentally ill person!"

If I was stuck in jail for 10 years, I'd be doing the same thing -- sucking as MUCH money out of the system as possible, just for something to do. Plus they might let him out to shut him up.

Hey, hey, not so fast... (2, Funny)

ediron2 (246908) | about 6 years ago | (#24203941)

Darl may be mentally ill, but I can't be the only one withholding judgement on his status as a member of the human race until someone pays for independent review.

Of course, the very job of auditing Darl for evidence of humanity brings to mind the joke about lawyers v. labrats ('there are some things even a rat won't do').

Oh, you meant the cellmate?... um, Nevermind... </emily>

Re:Translation of PDF (2, Informative)

Manchot (847225) | about 6 years ago | (#24205235)

I don't think that he's mentally ill. He files these lawsuits in different federal districts in order to avoid frivolity penalties. In other words, he recognizes that the suits are completely ridiculous. I bet that he's doing it because he's bored.

Re:Translation of PDF (1)

AndGodSed (968378) | about 6 years ago | (#24203225)

"...and I hear stuff..."

Re:Translation of PDF (4, Funny)

DrJimbo (594231) | about 6 years ago | (#24203657)

"... I see dead companies ..."

Re:Translation of PDF (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 6 years ago | (#24205153)

Bah, the guy just has too much time on his hands.

At least he has a hobby to keep him off the streets.

SCO isn't competent? Ya think? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 6 years ago | (#24202605)

Who is this guy?

The Master of the Obvious?

Re:SCO isn't competent? Ya think? (1, Informative)

morgan_greywolf (835522) | about 6 years ago | (#24202875)

Not quite. He sued Take-Two, Rockstar Games and the game Grand Theft Auto itself(?!) for putting him in prison. GTA made him commit identity theft, apparently. He also sued a bunch of other people, as The Fine Summary points out.

Just proving once again that anyone can sue anyone for anything. Needless to say, numerous judges have thrown his cases out, one referred to his case as 'farsical'.

Re:SCO isn't competent? Ya think? (1)

snowgirl (978879) | about 6 years ago | (#24203065)

Just proving once again that anyone can sue anyone for anything. Needless to say, numerous judges have thrown his cases out, one referred to his case as 'farsical'.

This guy apparently has proven that you can sue anything for anything... I mean, "Mein Kampf"?

Re:SCO isn't competent? Ya think? (4, Funny)

number11 (129686) | about 6 years ago | (#24203997)

numerous judges have thrown his cases out, one referred to his case as 'farsical'

Wow, this nut writes his cases in Persian?

Re:SCO isn't competent? Ya think? (5, Interesting)

Kugrian (886993) | about 6 years ago | (#24202987)

This guy is an amazing loon. Seriously, he makes Jack Thompson look sane.

From Washington Post [washingtonpost.com] (as linked in above summary):

On July 16, for instance, he filed a complaint alleging that the
Mossad, the CIA and "Larry King Live" conspired to "hijack my torso, three toes,
and my constitutional rights and ship them to a secret headquarters in Concord,
NH," as well as inserted microchips and "dashing my hopes." He accuses Larry
King of being "a voodoo witch doctor who stole my identity on February 25th,
2003 and purchased lead paint, Chips Ahoy!, Planter's Peanuts, and Ziploc bags
under my identity. Distributed them to the CIA to microwave test my
DNA."

Can't find words..

Re:SCO isn't competent? Ya think? (1)

AndGodSed (968378) | about 6 years ago | (#24203261)

How About: "Oy."

Re:SCO isn't competent? Ya think? (1)

omar.sahal (687649) | about 6 years ago | (#24203577)

Plaintiff Jonathan Lee Riches sued Defendants Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, Maddox Jolie Pitt, Zahara Jolie Pitt, Shiloh Jolie Pitt, and Pax Jolie Pitt. Plaintiff alleged that Defendants Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie kidnapped Madeleine McCann in a major conspiracy plot to adopt her against her will, as part of a secret plot to take, kidnap and adopt a child from each of the 192 world wide countries. Plaintiff stated that he learned about the plot from his pen pal Billy Bob Thorton.

Loon or visionary [justia.com]

Re:SCO isn't competent? Ya think? (2, Interesting)

AeroIllini (726211) | about 6 years ago | (#24205331)

Are we sure he isn't also this guy [timecube.com] ?

Ahh, the world would be a much more boring place without a few raving lunatics about.

Shawshank (4, Funny)

bugs2squash (1132591) | about 6 years ago | (#24202619)

All because Andy Dufresne just had to build that damn law library...

Oh wait - I'm failing to separate fact from fiction...

Oh wait...

Re:Shawshank (2, Funny)

elrous0 (869638) | about 6 years ago | (#24202829)

At least they're learning valuable trades that they can use when they escape.

Wait (-1, Offtopic)

Icepick_ (25751) | about 6 years ago | (#24202627)

wat?

Re:Wait (-1, Redundant)

bersl2 (689221) | about 6 years ago | (#24202685)

wat

Re:Wait (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 6 years ago | (#24202831)

The monster!

Cellmates (5, Funny)

rjshirts (567179) | about 6 years ago | (#24202645)

I guess he and Darl can cook up theories in prison together about how IBM is secretly owning the world, and how they put a secret chemical into every keyboard to make you addicted to the internet.
I mean, it's the next logical step in this case, isn't it?

Re:Cellmates (1)

morgan_greywolf (835522) | about 6 years ago | (#24202733)

Prison? Nay. I don't think prison is a good place for either one of them. I'm thinking of a place with a bit more padding on the walls...

Re:Cellmates (1)

ProfessionalCookie (673314) | about 6 years ago | (#24203877)

Or cement & spikes.

Re:Cellmates (1)

ProfessionalCookie (673314) | about 6 years ago | (#24203915)

For Daryl mind you. This guy is worth keeping around just for the humor. I really hope he's actually semisane.

Re:Cellmates (1)

Elektroschock (659467) | about 6 years ago | (#24203199)

But IBM is evil. Look what they did to Microsoft Open XML. Or how they gave punchcards to the Nazis...

Re:Cellmates (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 6 years ago | (#24205469)

Nazis aren't evil, incompetent people are evil.

Re:Cellmates (1)

verbamour (1308787) | about 6 years ago | (#24203383)

I didn't know porn was a chemical...

Re:Cellmates (4, Funny)

rpmayhem (1244360) | about 6 years ago | (#24204009)

I knew there was a better reason why the IBM model M keyboards are so beloved.

That's fun... (1)

Chysn (898420) | about 6 years ago | (#24202687)

...ya just can't buy.

Fat chance. (4, Funny)

WK2 (1072560) | about 6 years ago | (#24202721)

Compared to SCO, this guy's lawsuit actually has a chance of succeeding.

Re:Fat chance. (1)

XnPlater (1186661) | about 6 years ago | (#24203729)

Yes, if you listen carefully, you can already hear the accordion of triumph [wfmu.org] in the distance!

Re:Fat chance. (1)

XnPlater (1186661) | about 6 years ago | (#24203805)

Damn, a '3' is missing at the end of the link :(

don't forget... (2, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | about 6 years ago | (#24202737)

to pay your $299 (or was it $499) "get out of jail" fee, you ...

Toss up? (2, Funny)

segedunum (883035) | about 6 years ago | (#24202739)

Sound like a couple of tossers to me.

Re:Toss up? (2, Funny)

tomhudson (43916) | about 6 years ago | (#24203201)

Sound like a couple of tossers to me.

So which one's going to be getting their salad tossed [urbandictionary.com] , and which one's the eater? Or is it going to be a mutual thing?

Re:Toss up? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 6 years ago | (#24204505)

You know what they do in jail? Toss the salad. -- Jay (of Jay & Silent Bob fame).

All we need now is Carl Icahn and Jack Thompson (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 6 years ago | (#24202749)

to get invovled, and we'd really have a waste of tax payers' money.

To the submitter of this article (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | about 6 years ago | (#24202815)

You are a douche.

Re:To the submitter of this article (1)

Arthur Grumbine (1086397) | about 6 years ago | (#24203443)

Jonathan?! They let you have internet access in there?!

This makes me wanna say... (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | about 6 years ago | (#24202937)

"Hey, knock it off Jonathan Lee Riches... you're actually making Darl McBride look sane by comparison!" And believe me... that's a feat which is not easily accomplished!

Re:This makes me wanna say... (1)

SanityInAnarchy (655584) | about 6 years ago | (#24205751)

Oh, it's much worse. He makes Jack Thompson look sane.

Insane, but knowlegable (4, Insightful)

gubers33 (1302099) | about 6 years ago | (#24203025)

Granted the guy has totally went insane in prison, but in terms of his knowledge of the law he is probably more knowledgeable than SCO. If you read some of his other suits, the legal references are legit, but his plaintiffs and reasons for suing are completely off the deep end.

Re:Insane, but knowlegable (3, Insightful)

Galactic Dominator (944134) | about 6 years ago | (#24203359)

Granted the guy has totally went insane in prison

He's insane like Monty Python is insane. Totally insane is when you have to wear depends and take Thorazine shots daily. You shouldn't call things bricked that are salvageable. Boredom will make you do strange things.

Re:Insane, but knowlegable (1)

Capt.DrumkenBum (1173011) | about 6 years ago | (#24205093)

MMMMMMmmmmmmm, I miss my daily Thorazine shots.

Who pays the court costs? (0, Flamebait)

HolyCrapSCOsux (700114) | about 6 years ago | (#24203037)

The taxpayers, that's who!
He should get the chair.

Crazier! (2, Funny)

geogob (569250) | about 6 years ago | (#24203043)

SCO's Lawsuit Gets Even Crazier

Well, now I, without a doubt, believe anything is possible. Perhaps even the most pessimistic being/thing in the universe would believe anything is possible after reading this line.

New name (2, Funny)

bondjamesbond (99019) | about 6 years ago | (#24203047)

I would officially like to name SCO the "Zombie Company" because, even though it's dead, it
just
won't
DIE

Plato's reponse (5, Insightful)

mattjb0010 (724744) | about 6 years ago | (#24203059)

In response, Plato said [brainyquote.com] : "Justice means minding one's own business and not meddling with other men's concerns."

Flame Story (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 6 years ago | (#24203087)

I know SCO is evil and all that, but this "story" is nothing more than a flame. Get it out of here.

IANAMP (4, Interesting)

stomv (80392) | about 6 years ago | (#24203125)

I am not a medical professional, but it sure seems that Jonathan Lee Riches is acting in ways that may be medically insane. The US Justice system doesn't exactly have a good track record when dealing with mental illness.

If he is ill, I hope he gets treatment.

Re:IANAMP (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 6 years ago | (#24203649)

I am not a medical professional, but it sure seems that Jonathan Lee Riches is acting in ways that may be medically insane.

Maybe it's his hobby.

Re:IANAMP (1)

Dan93 (222999) | about 6 years ago | (#24203843)

I doubt he's insane. The lawsuits are funny ludicrous. Not crazy ludicrous. He sued a bridge for christsakes! Some of the money is of the amount that no government in the world has, and one would have to be stupid to believe they could actually get it.

Goodness Gracious, Great Gobs of Dough! (3, Interesting)

Jason Levine (196982) | about 6 years ago | (#24203127)

Riches's imagination in making accusations is matched by his audacity in asking for damages. In the July 16 suit he demanded "211,429,399,000,000.00 trillion dollars backed by gold and silver, delivered by United States Postal Service."

That's 211 septillion, 429 sextillion, 399 quintillion dollars. To compare, the world's GDP (as of 2006) was $65.95 trillion. So the guy wanted over 3.2 TRILLION percent of the world's GDP.

On July 16, for instance, he filed a complaint alleging that the Mossad, the CIA and "Larry King Live" conspired to "hijack my torso, three toes, and my constitutional rights and ship them to a secret headquarters in Concord, NH," as well as inserted microchips and "dashing my hopes." He accuses Larry King of being "a voodoo witch doctor who stole my identity on February 25th, 2003 and purchased lead paint, Chips Ahoy!, Planter's Peanuts, and Ziploc bags under my identity. Distributed them to the CIA to microwave test my DNA."

The guy's either a certified loon or someone trying to pass himself off as one. And these two small quotes are just two drops in the loony bucket. I hate to say it, but even Darl McBride's most fantastic quotes were closer to reality that this guy's quotes. Even though Darl didn't have anywhere near the evidence to back his claims, they were within the general realm of possibility. Larry King stealing this guy's identity to buy ziploc bags and passing them on to the CIA to "microwave test" his DNA? That makes Iraq's old Information Minister look like he was telling the complete truth.

Re:Goodness Gracious, Great Gobs of Dough! (4, Informative)

tomhudson (43916) | about 6 years ago | (#24203231)

Riches's imagination in making accusations is matched by his audacity in asking for damages. In the July 16 suit he demanded "211,429,399,000,000.00 trillion dollars backed by gold and silver, delivered by United States Postal Service."

That's 211 septillion, 429 sextillion, 399 quintillion dollars. To compare, the world's GDP (as of 2006) was $65.95 trillion. So the guy wanted over 3.2 TRILLION percent of the world's GDP.

And how is that crazier than the RIAA wanting $150,000.00 for each song "illegally shared" to compensate them for their "losses" - which also, using their figures for "song piracy", also works out to more than all the money in the world?

Re:Goodness Gracious, Great Gobs of Dough! (2, Funny)

bluefoxlucid (723572) | about 6 years ago | (#24203263)

The guy's either a certified loon or someone trying to pass himself off as one.

Honestly? His claims sound a lot like the religious tomes of Scientology.

Maybe he's bored, or waiting for the mother ship?

Re:Goodness Gracious, Great Gobs of Dough! (1)

srmalloy (263556) | about 6 years ago | (#24203999)

I just hope he and Teri Smith Tyler [milk.com] are never allowed together; the resultant concretion of raving lunacy might go supernova and destroy the Earth.

Re:Goodness Gracious, Great Gobs of Dough! (2, Funny)

Chris Burke (6130) | about 6 years ago | (#24203891)

That's 211 septillion, 429 sextillion, 399 quintillion dollars. To compare, the world's GDP (as of 2006) was $65.95 trillion. So the guy wanted over 3.2 TRILLION percent of the world's GDP.

Geeze, why not just go all the way and ask for "infinity U.S. dollars, in non-sequential bills"

Re:Goodness Gracious, Great Gobs of Dough! (1)

jeffasselin (566598) | about 6 years ago | (#24204623)

An infinite number of non-sequential bills? Doesn't that contradict the continuum hypothesis or something? :-)

Re:Goodness Gracious, Great Gobs of Dough! (1)

Chris Burke (6130) | about 6 years ago | (#24204843)

Well, I added it to try to add an extra level of crazy on top of asking for infinity dollars so I hadn't really thought of it. But I guess if you could do infinity dollars, that would actually be possible. 1... 3... 5... repeating to infinity would count for the sense of "non-sequential" I meant, and is still an infinite set.

Re:Goodness Gracious, Great Gobs of Dough! (1, Informative)

Anonymous Coward | about 6 years ago | (#24204083)

For the benefit of anyone who may have forgotten, Saddam's Information Minister ended up having to deny the presence of American tanks in Baghdad, to reporters who could turn their heads about 50 degrees and see the American tanks.

I think db32 has nailed it, he's aiming for a padded cell 'cause it would be safer. Of course, ever getting out is another issue.

Re:Goodness Gracious, Great Gobs of Dough! (1)

ChrisA90278 (905188) | about 6 years ago | (#24205889)

"Larry King stealing this guy's identity to buy ziploc bags and passing them on to the CIA to "microwave test" his DNA? "

Maybe he's not so wacky.

I read this as a kind of political performance art. He is making a statement that sails "Here is just one more law suit not un-like the millions you've seen before." And you know what? He's right. No so different really.

Kind of like the guy barfs on a canvas and says it's "art". He is making a statement about how stupid and gullible some art critics and buyers are. Like "If you buy that I've got one just like it here."

It's insane, but with a system (1)

Opportunist (166417) | about 6 years ago | (#24203229)

He's shooting in hopes of hitting. It's insane claims, but he has faith in the justice system that he will eventually hit a judge that matches his insanity and rules in his favor.

What? You don't think loonie judges exist? You have seen the copyright lawsuits and still question their existance?

Re:It's insane, but with a system (2, Insightful)

db32 (862117) | about 6 years ago | (#24203871)

I suspect you are right for the wrong reason. Serving 10 years in prison is what he is facing, for identity theft. Getting declared legally insane and shipped off for treatment I suspect would be a really nice way to get out of prison rape and the other joys of being incarcerated. I could be wrong, I don't know much about the guy, but somehow I suspect with his identity theft crimes and knowledge of law that he probably isn't a toughguy thug apt to make it through 10 years of prison without his asshole being stretched considerably.

Theatre (1)

krgallagher (743575) | about 6 years ago | (#24203237)

The hand written motion is a nice touch, but it would have been better written on toilet paper.

Magna Carta?!? (1)

Maestro485 (1166937) | about 6 years ago | (#24203315)

If only he'd sued the Magna Carta for suspending of habeas corpus :(

if the glove don't fit... (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 6 years ago | (#24203431)

If the glove don't fit, they must acquit...

Maybe they can try the Chewbacca defense.

Jack Thompson connection?? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 6 years ago | (#24203521)

The wikipedia page on Jonathan Lee Riches [wikipedia.org] has this:

"On April 9, 2008, Riches filed a request for a temporary restraining order in a US District Court against Grand Theft Auto publisher Take-Two, developer Rockstar Games, FCI Williamsburg, and Grand Theft Auto itself, claiming that the defendants "put me in prison." The inmate stated, "Defendants contributed to Plaintiff committing identity theft. Defendant's games show sex, drugs and violence which offends me."" ... and so on.

So, has this guy actually been talking to Jack Thompson, or do great minds think alike?

UnixWare rights? (1)

Orion Blastar (457579) | about 6 years ago | (#24203547)

Even admitting to using or owning Unixware is like admitting to using or owning Windows ME. :)

But anyway UnixWare used source code from open source products [wikipedia.org] the same ones used in Linux. So trying to claim that Linux stole SCO Unix code by comparing source code between Linux and SCO Unix aka UnixWare you'll end up finding code that SCO used as Skunkware in their version of Unix that is source code from many open source projects that also became part of Linux distros as well. So all you prove is that Linux is based on open source products and that UnixWare is based on open source products as well. Meaning that the only ones with the right to sue are those who wrote the open source products on which Linux and UnixWare/ SCO Unix are based on, provided they violate the open source languages by not providing access to the source code, etc.

If anyone wants to know.... (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | about 6 years ago | (#24203561)

... "pro se" means "for himself" in Latin, although, judging from this guy's record, I think "pars merdae" would be more appropriate. ;)

jdb2

Tag request (2, Funny)

RockMFR (1022315) | about 6 years ago | (#24203837)

Please tag story "microwavetesting". Thanks.

Daryl won (3, Insightful)

richmaine (128733) | about 6 years ago | (#24204181)

The difference between this guy and Daryl is that Daryl won. No, he didn't win the lawsuits, but that's a small detail. He walked away from it all a rich man. He won. With our legal system, it is quite easy to win a suit and come away having lost money big time. It is also possible to loose a suit, while getting rich in the process, although that's not so easy a trick to pull. Daryl managed. I'm not at all sure Daryl is stupid. Crooked - yes; stupid - not so clear at all.

JLR, on the other hand, is in prison.

Re:Daryl won (4, Funny)

justleavealonemmmkay (1207142) | about 6 years ago | (#24205175)

I aym iyn fulyl agreemenyt wityh yoyu.

Um.. (1)

inotocracy (762166) | about 6 years ago | (#24205069)

..SCO is still around? Good God.

It's a little late... (1)

evolvearth (1187169) | about 6 years ago | (#24205367)

Um, isn't it a little late for an April Fool's gag?
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