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LucasArts Embargoes "Clone Wars" Reviews

CmdrTaco posted about 6 years ago | from the that-doesn't-sound-encouraging dept.

Star Wars Prequels 603

An anonymous reader writes "George Lucas CGI 'Clone Wars' movie has premiered to reviews ranging from MSNBC's 'Ugly animation and an uninspired storyline drag down the film' to AintItCool's 'I hated the film. HATED IT. REALLY HATED IT.' Critics have noted the animation style, music and slapstick humor had more than a passing similarity to Pixar's Toy Story, and wondered if the introduction of new action figures (sorry, characters) like Baby Jabba Hutt and Jabba the Hutt's Gay Uncle may have taken the franchise a bridge too far. Lucas responding by enforcing an embargo, forcing the reviews to be taken down. While sites like responded, by then it was just a little too late. Still, the CGI eye candy will make it popular with kids. If the 'Clone Wars' movie can't save the galaxy, can it at least save the franchise?"

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George Lucas (4, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | about 6 years ago | (#24581191)

Can suck my dick.

Save the Franchise? (5, Insightful)

k_187 (61692) | about 6 years ago | (#24581195)

I think the franchise was lost among the faithful a long time ago. Somewhere between Mesaa and Jar-Jar Binks.

If in doubt, read this article! (5, Informative)

ShieldVV0lf (1343419) | about 6 years ago | (#24581237)

I was QUITE surprised at the scheming behind the scenes when I read this article [] some time back. They *know* what they have and aren't holding back. It is interesting just how little they try to hide it and how no one really cares how much they are milking the franchise.

Some odd FORCE really drives the market. I have a collection with items dating as recent as 1981, valued between $5000 and $7500. The original prices for the items summed to no more than $670!


Anonymous Coward | about 6 years ago | (#24581645)

Insightful, yet hot!

Re:Save the Franchise? (5, Interesting)

kannibal_klown (531544) | about 6 years ago | (#24581239)

Eh, the books are still alright. I finished the "Legacy of the Force" series a month-or-so ago and enjoyed it though I was expecting more of a finale.

As far as video games go, some of the recent games were decent as well. The Jedi Knight series was great and the previews for their upcoming 3rd person game sound positive. Then again I haven't played Battlegrounds or SWG. Personally I want an updated "Tie Fighter" game, that was probably their best sim.

Re:Save the Franchise? (5, Informative)

rudeboy1 (516023) | about 6 years ago | (#24581585)

I second that motion. TIE Fighter was definitely one of the best games of all time. LucasArts really had a streak going there for a while where everything they touched turned to gold. TIE Fighter, Full Throttle, Monkey Island, Dark Forces... I remember Star Wars Rebellion moved me into a completely new genre of vidja games. Recently, I played the first Galactic Battlegrounds, and as soon as I got over the spiffy graphics, I realized the company doesn't have the same outstanding sparkle it used to.

Re:Save the Franchise? (5, Funny)

Chelloveck (14643) | about 6 years ago | (#24581289)

You young whippersnappers! Back in my day, all we had to hate were the Ewoks! And we liked it that way!

Re:Save the Franchise? (2, Interesting)

Deadfyre_Deadsoul (1193759) | about 6 years ago | (#24581405)

Ewoks were cool, and Lucas hadnt sold out then. Now days, with this clone wars movie, its obvious its only inspiration IS money. Whats worse, is the drivel of the story line almost negates its self. Lucasarts can embargo the reviews all they want, but the fact remains, they are still left with a pile of shite for a product and FORCE it down our throats as always.

Re:Save the Franchise? (4, Insightful)

Chelloveck (14643) | about 6 years ago | (#24581473)

Ewoks were cool

Wow. Seriously dude, I've never, ever heard those words used together like that.

I know! The Clone Wars is supposed to be so awful it'll make someone five years from now post "Jar-jar was cool."

Re:Save the Franchise? (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | about 6 years ago | (#24581547)

Ewoks were cool, and Lucas hadnt sold out then.

Is that you Steve? The reality distortion field is strong in this one.

Re:Save the Franchise? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 6 years ago | (#24582047)

Ewoks weren't sold out??? You didn't watch cartoons in the late 80s when the apparently Care Bear-inspired critters were running around talking and wearing stupid headgear.

Re:Save the Franchise? (5, Insightful)

Lilith's Heart-shape (1224784) | about 6 years ago | (#24581425)

As far as I'm concerned, it was lost when Lucas decided to have Greedo shoot first over a decade after the movie finished its theatrical run. It's a bit late now, George.

Re:Save the Franchise? (4, Insightful)

noewun (591275) | about 6 years ago | (#24581849)

Me, too. This was the point at which I realized Lucas was making a product, not a film.

Re:Save the Franchise? (4, Interesting)

Joe the Lesser (533425) | about 6 years ago | (#24581493)

No, I could have put up with Jar-Jar, but the midichlorians were the true knife in the back.

However, the fanboy runs strong in this one, so I hope that one day there will be another good film or game for the universe, though for now I'm living in hiding on Tatootine.

Re:Save the Franchise? (2, Funny)

Joe the Lesser (533425) | about 6 years ago | (#24581501)

That was a typo. I am certainly aware that it is Tatooine.

Re:Save the Franchise? (4, Interesting)

$RANDOMLUSER (804576) | about 6 years ago | (#24581767)

Yeah, the midichlorians really threw the spirituality/mythology themes under the bus. Oddly enough, I saw the last 2/3 of episode 1 Phantom Menace just last night - I hadn't seen it since the theater when it first came out. I remember walking out of the theater thinking "well, that wasn't too bad", but last night all I could see was Mannequin Skywalker mugging through "oops, I accidentally blew up the android control satellite" as R2D2 comically whistles and squeaks, Natalie Portman's ridiculous accent, the preposterous locale for the big lightsaber duel, etc. etc. etc. It's one thing to suspend disbelief, but that movie suspends believability.

And then of course there's Jar Jar.

Re:Save the Franchise? (4, Insightful)

oliderid (710055) | about 6 years ago | (#24581597)

Well, I was 8 when I first watched A New hope. I loved it. I watched it again few months ago...And Frankly I found the scenario a bit too simple. But my nephew simply loved it...So the real show for me was watching him :-).

Don't you feel that we are simply getting older and the star wars franchise isn't for us anymore? Kids seem to enjoy it as much as we did (IMHO).

As a 30's, I prefer is Battlestar Galactica II. I prefer six over the princess anyday ;-)

Re:Save the Franchise? (5, Funny)

Orleron (835910) | about 6 years ago | (#24581633)

Mmm... Six. Did you see the episode where her girlfriend, Seven ate Nine?

Re:Save the Franchise? (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | about 6 years ago | (#24581715)


What the fuck is the function of an editor? (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | about 6 years ago | (#24581621)

"Lucas responding by enforcing an embargo, forcing the reviews to be taken down."

"Lucas responding by?" How about "Lucas IS responding by?" Thank you, that will be $20 for doing your job for you, Taco.

P.S. - All of Obama's slogans are stolen:

"Yes we can!" or "si se puede!" - Stolen from Julio Caesar Chavez.

Themes of hope and change - stolen from Saul Alinsky.

"We are the people we have been waiting for." - this is my personal favorite. Not only is it stolen from that liberal free Mumia nut Alice Walker, but it doesn't even fucking make sense. It's just another sound byte fit for a bumper sticker.

Re:Save the Franchise? (5, Insightful)

jellomizer (103300) | about 6 years ago | (#24581655)

I think they really missed the Han Solo type of character in the new stuff. Han Solo showed you can be kickass without the force. The new movies relegated everyone without the force to cannon fodder. While watching force power fights are fun they don't really make good story as they have a lot of power. But there isn't really anyone to relate to. the Jedi were too goody goody. The sith were mostly just evil. (Duko had a chance as a good vilan but they just gave him one movie (Which was horible) and killed in 5 minutes in the next) Han Solo was the good guy but had a dark side which made him more human and recognizable. The new movies didn't have that. They kinda tried with Jar Jar but he was too stupid and attempt to be a comic role (which R2D2 and C3PO took as well) we needed a serious character who was a normal guy who kicked ass.

Thanks, George (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 6 years ago | (#24581227)

I think we can all thank him for this one. The cartoon, as I gather, did its job well. Potential for a movie in the same spirit certainly existed.

Then Lucas came in and axed Grievous and the art direction.

editing (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 6 years ago | (#24581233)

While sites like responded, but by then it was just a little too late.

What? Come on, editors.

And this... (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 6 years ago | (#24581251)

Is the guy who's going to save Indiana Jones.

The FUCK? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 6 years ago | (#24581259)

See title.

I know that Chewbacca and the Ewoks were always there for children, but at least the main story also had very adult parts. Now it's just children's toss, fuck that.

Thank you for doing this (1)

iampiti (1059688) | about 6 years ago | (#24581263) I have absolutely no doubt this film is not worth my time and money. I will watch something else instead

Does taking down reviews ever help? (4, Interesting)

damburger (981828) | about 6 years ago | (#24581291)

They produced a crappy film once again. Now they are trying to sculpt the reaction to it on the Internet. Do they not realise it is futile? For a mainstream film, it *might* make a dent on the number of people who stay away - but for a very nerdy sci-fi franchise its practically suicide. I haven't even read any reviews yet but I am already drawing the conclusion its a dire film based on the fact they are attempting a cover up. The disconnect between the reality of online culture and the actions of people trying to sell things to the Internet using public seems to be growing, not shrinking as you would expect it to do with more young people entering the workforce with direct experience of the culture.

Re:Does taking down reviews ever help? (2, Interesting)

vidarh (309115) | about 6 years ago | (#24581363)

I made the conclusion that it was shit the moment I saw the first trailers. The animation just annoys me - no story line could have saved it for me with that animation style. I'm pretty, shall we say, "flexible" about the quality I'll tolerate and still go see a movie, but this is just too far. MAYBE I'll watch it when it shows up on one of the movie channels I subscribe to, but I'm not sure I can be bothered even with that.

Re:Does taking down reviews ever help? (1)

ByOhTek (1181381) | about 6 years ago | (#24581635)

A few seconds into the first commercial I saw, I could only think "Oh my god. What kind of pathetic monstrosity are we in for?"

I pretty much placed it along with the barbie moves my 10 year old cousins watch...


If you don't know - that's where they send the actors and authors who can't get the quality of a soap opera, even if they are given months instead of a day.

Re:Does taking down reviews ever help? (1)

elrous0 (869638) | about 6 years ago | (#24581735)

The idea of doing a Star Wars animated feature was just a stupid idea in the first place. You don't follow up 6 live action serious movies with a goofy animated film. I think someone at Lucasfilm saw the success of the "Clone Wars" Cartoon Network serials and got more than a little cocky. This thing had "made for TV" written all over it from the get-go.

Re:Does taking down reviews ever help? (2, Funny)

ayjay29 (144994) | about 6 years ago | (#24581609)

>>Now they are trying to sculpt the reaction to it on the Internet. Do they not realise it is futile?

Well it's one sure way to prevent people downloading it from BitTorrent.

Worked for the "Star Wars Holiday Special" right?

Re:Does taking down reviews ever help? (1)

elrous0 (869638) | about 6 years ago | (#24581683)

I want to know exactly HOW he can even force them to be taken down. I guess Fox or Lucasfilm could bar reviewers from future screenings if they refuse, but it's not like he can take away their first amendment rights to say "Your movie sucked ass." Unless they signed some kind of non-disclosure agreement, they should tell Lucas to go fuck himself. No, on second thought, they should tell him "Youssa go fuck yourself."

Re:Does taking down reviews ever help? (2, Informative)

Tridus (79566) | about 6 years ago | (#24581785)

Its Warner AFAIK, and yeah, they can bar them from future screenings. If your job is movie reviews, being barred from screenings of the largest studio in the market is a pretty big deal.

Its just like with game reviews: ones that come out first get more hits then the later ones. Being last all the time is bad for your career.

Re:Does taking down reviews ever help? (4, Insightful)

Hatta (162192) | about 6 years ago | (#24581867)

Seems to me that if you're a reviewer, your reputation for independence is more important than early access to films. Who cares if you review a movie early, if that review is nothing but a mouthpiece for Lucasfilm marketing?

Every reviewer with integrity should publish what they want, when they want. If the entire industry bars them from reviewing films until they're open, then people will learn not to see films on opening day. I don't think the industry wants that.

Re:Does taking down reviews ever help? (2, Insightful)

damburger (981828) | about 6 years ago | (#24582001)

Perhaps thats the case in magical pixie land, but here in the real world people care about getting the news first rather than about getting it right, and more about style than integrity. Roughly speaking, the general public approaches journalism the same way a sugar-starved 4 year old approaches nutrition.

Re:Does taking down reviews ever help? (1)

Tridus (79566) | about 6 years ago | (#24582009)

Your reputation for independence comes from posting truthful reviews, rather then shills. You can do that on Friday just as well as you can do it today.

Besides, I'm not sure how you can say "people with integrity should break an agreement made in good faith to post a review two days early." Usually integrity requires that you live up to what you agreed to do.

Re:Does taking down reviews ever help? (1)

mpe (36238) | about 6 years ago | (#24581995)

I haven't even read any reviews yet but I am already drawing the conclusion its a dire film based on the fact they are attempting a cover up.

Trying to block reviews is probably more harmful to the movie than the worst possible review. Even a highly critical review might make someone curious to see if it really is that bad.

The disconnect between the reality of online culture and the actions of people trying to sell things to the Internet using public seems to be growing, not shrinking as you would expect it to do with more young people entering the workforce with direct experience of the culture.

Most likely these people are not the ones making the decisions...

Streisand (4, Insightful)

Reality Master 201 (578873) | about 6 years ago | (#24581303)

If Lucas really wants those bad reviews out there front and center, he's doing a bang up job of ensuring that.

the clone wars tv series was awesome (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 6 years ago | (#24581317)

I was excited they were making more clone wars... until I saw they changed the animation style, which had me worried.

Now I see bad reviews and an attempt by lucasfilm to suppress them. I think I'll skip this one.

It's a shame really. Clone Wars vol II was absolutely brilliant.

Franchise (1)

Exanon (1277926) | about 6 years ago | (#24581321)

I don't think the franchise is going down the drain just because of the movies. I mean, is there someone out there who can say how many Star Wars games actually got ABOVE average scores?

Oh and to be on topic: Streisand Effect.

Embargo? (5, Funny)

Osurak (1013927) | about 6 years ago | (#24581343)

You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

Re:Embargo? (4, Funny)

Faw (33935) | about 6 years ago | (#24581433)

You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.


Re:Embargo? (1)

Pope (17780) | about 6 years ago | (#24581937)

What do you mean? It was the plot of Episode 1 after all.

I'd expect more than just eye candy from Lucas. (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 6 years ago | (#24581349)

Yeah, I know, his latest films haven't been that encouraging. But that's beside my point.

If it's coming from Lucasfilm, it should have standards at least on the level of Pixar. Instead, we get the Clone Wars TV series that ran in the runup to Ep. 3, except done in CGI. Big deal.

If you're going to do a big CGI flick, George, your character designs and other art should be more on the level with the Final Fantasy movie. The animation character designs worked well for that animation style, but they do not port well (if at all) to CGI.

Seriously, crusty old fart in the bathrobe looks like a lightsaber accident took off the back half of his head some years back.

Transformers: Beast Wars had better stuff a decade ago. Get with the program, George.

Re:I'd expect more than just eye candy from Lucas. (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 6 years ago | (#24581639)

Final Fantasy movie.

Sorry, but there never was a Final Fantasy CGI movie, maybe you heard about "Spirits within" which is NOT a Final Fantasy movie, just a movie with the title "Final Fantasy" on it.

Re:I'd expect more than just eye candy from Lucas. (1, Offtopic)

Kredal (566494) | about 6 years ago | (#24581771)

Maybe he was talking about Advent Children?

Who cares about this? (-1, Flamebait)

Miladinoski (1280850) | about 6 years ago | (#24581365)

I have karma to burn so I'll ask - who the hell thinks this is newsworthy?

Me not.

More For Kids, I Think. (4, Interesting) (450073) | about 6 years ago | (#24581369)

I think this one is indeed more for kids. I know my Son (9 years old) is near ape-shit about going and seeing this opening day. I'm a bit skeptical about it. It'll be nice to see another new Star Wars film, but at the cost of no real story / character development / etc., I don't know if I want this to taint my view of the Star Wars saga.

I was only 5 or 6 the first time I saw A New Hope in the theater. Indeed, as many, I was blown away and it changed the way I pictured "space" and all that. That side comment to ObiWan from Luke of "You fought in the Clone Wars?!?" in "Ben's" hut was always a very interesting thing to me. "What were the Clone Wars?" "What are the Clones?" (it was never really said the Stormtroopers were all colones and certainly no hint of them being of Bobba's Dad). I wasn't until Ep2 that "The Clone Wars" was really brought into the story and it was very little more than a passing mention in that movie. Ep3 kind of touched a bit more on it, but not really. With this movie we're supposed to see more of the struggle of the Clone Wars. I say struggle because it more about the story behind the battle. The battle we've seen (well, bits and pieces), but we've seen it. We haven't seen the story of it.

I hope it's not as bad as this reviews are making it out to be. Since 1977 I have had huge thoughts and dreams about these half-mentioned "Clone Wars". I hope this is it.

But it is a "new" Lucas movie...

Profit (1)

EEPROMS (889169) | about 6 years ago | (#24581377)

Release over budget Disney like Star Wars cartoon Get ripped by media for turning the Star Wars franchise into CGI for 4 year olds Have a public dummy spit and then set the lawyers free on what little is left of the Star Wars franchise fan base. $$$ Profit

Legal Action against LucasArts (2, Funny)

daveatneowindotnet (1309197) | about 6 years ago | (#24581379)

I think most of us born from 1965 and 1985 have a pretty good case against George Lucas for retroactively ruining our childhood. Star Wars Episode 1 thru to Indiana Jones and Aliens, now this nonsense. Strangely enough the 5 minute shorts on Cartoon Network about the Clone Wars were actually entertaining, and didn't seem as geared to children, and they had that Samurai Jack animation style.

Aliens (1)

jgtg32a (1173373) | about 6 years ago | (#24581697)

What did he do to Aliens?

So sad (3, Interesting)

Tsoat (1221796) | about 6 years ago | (#24581383)

I really enjoy the original star wars so naturally I was so excited when phantom menace came out I admit that I liked it almost as much as the originals then with the second one I watched it multiple times but only because I had a crush on Natalie Portman at the time. When the third one came out I waited in line for it however after watching it I had a realization about these prequels they were missing something, and that something was heart, when George Lucas mad the original Star Wars he was a nobody so of course he had to make the story epic, so epic that it was a saga. With the prequels he didn't need to so he soldout, hardcore he has betrayed the fans and all he cares about is the money which of course he will get because well there are still raving fans who would buy crap if it had the star wars logo on it and little kids. Bottom line is George Lucas is a sellout

Except that it doesn't make sense (5, Insightful)

SmallFurryCreature (593017) | about 6 years ago | (#24581657)

Lets not forget that episodes 1-3 were not exactly cheap to produce. If Lucas had sold out, he would have had the movies made in hong-kong on a shoe-string budget and then raked in the cash based on the brand alone. THAT is selling out.

What he did instead is forget what made the original movies such a success, not just with kids but with adults as well (it was my mom that introduced me to Star Wars and she was an adult mother when it was released) and instead attempted to make the movie appeal to kids without understand what kids want.

Basically, he ignored his matured fanbase and tried to appeal to a new demographic that just didn't exist.

Lets face it, kids today got better entertainment then 3 films that are nothing but a punch and judy show (KIDS: look out punch BEHIND you PUNCH: where KIDS: BEHIND YOU), the jedis never being able to spot the baddie until it is way to late.

It might have worked as high fantasy with a doomed ending with just a tiny bit of hope remaining but that doesn't work in a kiddy movie.

I like the ending of episode three were you see the would be rebels dispersing, but everything before was just... Well not bad exactly, just that the actors could not act, Lucas can't write or direct and just who was the story aimed at anyway?

The most obvious failure? Nobody quotes the new star wars to honor it. "These are not the droids you are looking for" "I am your father" "I find your lack of faith disturbing" "It is a trap".

Where are the episode 1-3 quotes?

George Lucas one had luck producing a movie, it is known by fans that this was not his own creation, his wife for instance seems to have played a large role. Other directors did ESB. He should go back to producing but frankly, his most crowning achievement, getting Star Wars made in the 70's is no longer anything complex with the fortune he has know and the standard high special effects movie we got know. People forgot just how ground breaking A New Hope was from a producers job. That is gone now. Lucas has nothing to do but sign the checks and so he gets involved with other things that were previously left to others.

Lucas did not make A New Hope, he produced it. He did make episode 1-3. That's the problem.

Missed the most important one quote (3, Informative)

jgtg32a (1173373) | about 6 years ago | (#24581745)

Lets not forget that Has Solo made "I Know" and appropriate response to "I love you."

Re:Except that it doesn't make sense (1)

Tsoat (1221796) | about 6 years ago | (#24581841)

Yeah you're right I called it selling out because I didn't know what else to call it perhaps I should have said he was just milking it, but I really like your explanation I feel it's pretty accurate.

I couldn't stand the crap ad so the "movie" must (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 6 years ago | (#24581385)

I couldn't stand the crap ad so the "movie" must really be bad. Usually, the promo has the best parts. If those are the best parts, I can only surmise the movie (yeah, right) is the worst ever made. I liked The Incredibles, though. Holly Hunter was great, so much so it seemed as if she was on top doing all the work !!

well, i'm afraid (3, Insightful)

Jarik C-Bol (894741) | about 6 years ago | (#24581393)

that star wars may have more or less jumped the mynock... the thing that really aggravates me about Lucas with star wars, is he allowed hundreds of "official" works of fiction to be written, wherein, the authors who wrote them worked very hard to follow and/or stay true to the original movies. These books really flushed out the story and universe, and then Lucas comes along with his prequels, and basically says "screw you all" and ignores all the history and back story that was created on his behalf.

Re:well, i'm afraid (1)

kaos07 (1113443) | about 6 years ago | (#24581993)

That's a really good point, and I never thought of it.

But did the hundreds of authors of those books check in with each other? If they all had their own universes, I don't think the CREATOR of the universe can be blamed for changing things around.

What? (5, Funny)

Blice (1208832) | about 6 years ago | (#24581407)

You say that Star Wars shouldn't be made into a cartoon for children? And you also say jar-jar binks was a bad idea for the series?

That doesn't make any sense. Okay look, this is Chewbacca. Chewbacca is a Wookiee from the planet Kashyyyk. But Chewbacca lives on the planet Endor. Now think about it; that does not make sense!

Why would a Wookiee, an eight-foot tall Wookiee, want to live on Endor, with a bunch of two-foot tall Ewoks? That does not make sense! But more important, you have to ask yourself: What does this have to do with this review? Nothing. Ladies and gentlemen, it has nothing to do with this review! It does not make sense! Look at me. I'm a slashdotter defending a major mistake in starwars history, and I'm talkin' about Chewbacca! Does that make sense? Ladies and gentlemen, I am not making any sense! None of this makes sense! And so you have to remember, when you're sitting there in the move theater reviewing this movie, does it make sense? No! Ladies and gentlemen of this supposed review, it does not make sense! If Chewbacca lives on Endor, you must acquit!

Re:What? (1)

xpuppykickerx (1290760) | about 6 years ago | (#24581595)


Re:What? (1)

Blice (1208832) | about 6 years ago | (#24581687)

Interestingly enough, Chewbacca does not in fact actually live on Endor - though early drafts of Return of the Jedi did have the forest moon of Endor populated by Wookiees rather than Ewoks. This claim may have been an error, or may simply have been a culturally savvy intentional mis-statement by the authors.

Woosh... Read more about it here [] .

Chewbacca is guilty then? (1)

BitterOldGUy (1330491) | about 6 years ago | (#24581711)


You're arguing the facts here. I take it that Lucas is indeed guilty then?

Re:What? (1)

digitalgiblet (530309) | about 6 years ago | (#24581713)



Re:What? (2, Insightful)

xpuppykickerx (1290760) | about 6 years ago | (#24581741)


Actually, this is another quote from South Park. The Halloween episode, where everyone dresses as Chewbacca.

Re:What? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 6 years ago | (#24581869)

But Chewbacca never lived on Endor. He just visited.

So it all makes perfect sense to me.

Re:What? (1)

Devir (671031) | about 6 years ago | (#24581899)

Chewbacca had a Midget Fetish.

Re:What? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 6 years ago | (#24581919)

"Why would a Wookiee, an eight-foot tall Wookiee, want to live on Endor, with a bunch of two-foot tall Ewoks?"

He's kind of kinky?

First Amendment? (1)

grahamm (8844) | about 6 years ago | (#24581411)

For reviews in the USA, does this not go against the spirit of the first amendment (freedom of the press) even if not the letter of it?

Re:First Amendment? (4, Informative)

Fieryphoenix (1161565) | about 6 years ago | (#24581555)

No, not even the spirit. Two parties made a contract with each other, and one is insisting the contract is followed. That's just not a first amendment issue at all.

Re:First Amendment? (2, Funny)

Stanislav_J (947290) | about 6 years ago | (#24581557)

For reviews in the USA, does this not go against the spirit of the first amendment (freedom of the press) even if not the letter of it?

What is this "first amendment" of which you speak? No doubt some ancient and outmoded document that no one takes seriously anymore.....

Re:First Amendment? (5, Funny)

gilroy (155262) | about 6 years ago | (#24581951)

What is this "first amendment" of which you speak? No doubt some ancient and outmoded document that no one takes seriously anymore.....

The Constitution ... an elegant document for a more civilized age.

Re:First Amendment? (2, Informative)

CheeseTroll (696413) | about 6 years ago | (#24581607)

Only if George Lucas = government

Re:First Amendment? (1, Interesting)

91degrees (207121) | about 6 years ago | (#24581631)

Freedom of speech. It's a principle that the first amendment is based on. Its scope is much wider but doesn't have legal backing. It is a strong principle, considered a human right by the UN, and supported by most people, and although legal, it's bad form for a company to punish people for exercising this right.

So, in other words, yes it does:)

Re:First Amendment? (1)

Tridus (79566) | about 6 years ago | (#24581883)

No, it doesn't. The First Amendment blocks the government from telling you that you can't post a negative review of the movie.

It doesn't say that you can't willingly enter into an agreement with a private company that will give you an advance screening in exchange for not posting a review until Friday.

Re:First Amendment? (1)

Known Nutter (988758) | about 6 years ago | (#24581661)


if you post a "negative" review of the movie, you are a terrorist. Dicking around with Hollywood money makes you a terrorist.

Plus, won't somebody please think of the children?!?

Re:First Amendment? (1)

st0rmshad0w (412661) | about 6 years ago | (#24581679)

For reviews in the USA, does this not go against the spirit of the first amendment (freedom of the press) even if not the letter of it?

That was what I was wondering, how the hell can he get reviews pulled???

What total bullshit is that?

Isn't that part of the purpose of things like fair use?

I would love to see a legal experts take on this because it sounds like its way over the line. I'd love to see all the reviews just re-written without directly referencing Lucas's latest steaming pile. /Han shot first

Re:First Amendment? (2, Informative)

BokLM (550487) | about 6 years ago | (#24581721)

That was what I was wondering, how the hell can he get reviews pulled???

Well, they could keep the reviews online if they wanted. It's just that they want to continue be allowed to see movies before they are released in the futur ...

Re:First Amendment? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 6 years ago | (#24581693)

The big difference is that government and law are not involved. This is simply business. The right is there to publish the article and the right is there to decide that there are benefits to making Mr. Lucas happy by retracting it.

Re:First Amendment? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 6 years ago | (#24581935)

The first amendment only applies to governmental suppression of the press.

Unless lucasfilm is now the government, it doesn't apply.

poor quality (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | about 6 years ago | (#24581479)

I downloaded that film last week and it was just all gay porn. I couldn't understand what it had to do with star wars

So much for the supposed under-the-radar status (1)

sjonke (457707) | about 6 years ago | (#24581567)

I had been reading/hearing that this was suppose to be the "secret" Star Wars film. It wasn't going to have a big advertising budget and was a labor of love. Obviously that was all a bunch of malarky, just another gimmick to get it in the news. I've been seeing commercials for this film pretty regularly now.

Sadly, I'll be seeing this travesty on Saturday with my two boy and my nephews.

Re:Merchandising, Merchandising, Merchandising (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 6 years ago | (#24581909)

Go to any toy store.

Yogurt got it right. It's all about the Merchandising.

Now where's my Clone Wars Flamethrower? Oh, right here....


A long time ago... say around 2003 (4, Interesting)

denzacar (181829) | about 6 years ago | (#24581577)

...There were Clone Wars. [] Animated.
Directed by Genndy Tartakovsky of the Dexter's Laboratory and Samurai Jack fame.

And they were decently animated and had some good stories.
The Lucas empire even dropped a more than a decent part of the prequel trilogy's story into those episodes.
If you look at the duration of all three seasons you come up with about two films of about an hour+, or one of two hours+.
Hell... General Grievous is one big WTF if you don't at least take a glance at the animated series.

But I guess that was not good enough.
Or translated from Lucaspeek - It was not a bunch of lifeless 3D rendered puppets, reimagined once again.

What is the matter with Lucas?
Is he really trying to degrade the franchise beyond the "meh" level?
The entire Star Wars universe is slowly being turned into a "you know... that saga nobody really cares about any more, but once it was the best saga evah".

For fucks sake, lay it off for a while.
It is becoming embarrassing to say you actually enjoyed any of it. Ever.
Like it is American Pie or some other endlessly sequelled gag-humor movie.

Obligatory (0, Offtopic)

illumastorm (172101) | about 6 years ago | (#24581589)

"I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced. I fear something terrible has happened. "

It's Warner Bros., not LucasArts (5, Informative)

Le Jimmeh (1086671) | about 6 years ago | (#24581627)

At least, according to AintItCool's [] reply.

Zero the Hut crosses way too many lines. (1)

Shivetya (243324) | about 6 years ago | (#24581669)

It almost seems as if he exists to offend both the religious fanatics and homosexuals all at the same time. Its not like the position was needed; Star Wars isn't out to teach anyone anything, represent anything historically accurate, and as such doesn't need to touch on all PC aspects of modern life. At the same time they don't need to ridicule/stereotype it either with a ham handed method of trying to not offend both sides but doing so greatly regardless.

Hell, even the name is amazing... whats next on their list.

Not the biggest movie and its STAR WARS (4, Insightful)

Woundweavr (37873) | about 6 years ago | (#24581671)

The franchise was already lost. A new Star Wars movie is coming out to theaters and its not even close to being the #1 geek movie of the summer. Even if you took out the superhero movies and Star Trek, its still lagging behind. Ten years ago that would have been inconceivable as even re-releases were huge.

You can't live off past glory forever.

Re:Not the biggest movie and its STAR WARS (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 6 years ago | (#24581799)

Star Trek? What Star Trek?

Perhaps George Lucas isn't George Lucas (3, Interesting)

Jon Abbott (723) | about 6 years ago | (#24581723)

I've almost convinced myself George Lucas never made the first three Star Wars, and that it was somebody else. Look at the reviews for almost any of the other films he wrote (THX-1138, Willow, Captain EO, Star Wars I-III) and they are all rated at least an order of magnitude worse. The only other film I could find that was rated as highly was Raiders of the Lost Ark, and he shared the writing role with Philip Kaufman on that one.

Re:Perhaps George Lucas isn't George Lucas (1)

Devir (671031) | about 6 years ago | (#24582051)

THX Was a film school project. George hated writing. He has always been better at visuals.

American Grafitti was Georges first real commercial movie made from roughly $780,000 dollar budget. Featuring Harrison Ford. It made him millions and enough prestigue to get funding for Starwars, which was almost a flop had it not been for the editing prowess of his wife (who was also sick of Starwars).

Okay (2, Insightful)

mr_da3m0n (887821) | about 6 years ago | (#24581755)

Okay, which one of those crappy websites went ahead and committed a capital sin?

The web designer of one of the websites linked in TFA took it upon him/herself to resize my browser.

You don't touch my browser without permission. I really wonder who the fuck tought it was a good idea to even allow such crap to take place.

I have my browser set just the way I want it, centered exactly where I want it on my widescreen desktop. Whenever some crappy website goes ahead and wrecks this up, I end up not viewing it. It infuriates me to no end.

Sorry for the rant, feel free to mod me offtopic, but I felt it had to be said.

Uh Clone Wars (1)

computechnica (171054) | about 6 years ago | (#24581761)

I seem to remember there already being a animated Clone Wars that bridged between Episode 2 and 3. It had some interesting story lines and the Awesome animation talents of Genndy Tartakovsky. It would be great if the older series made more money than this Remake.

Ugly Animation -- I'll say! (1)

fuzznutz (789413) | about 6 years ago | (#24581805)

The first time I glanced at a commercial, I just assumed it was another video game they were hawking for Christmas. It was only when I heard "starts Friday" that I realized it was a movie. It sure as hell ain't Pixar. Or Dreamworks for that matter...

Re:Ugly Animation -- I'll say! (1)

Tipa (881911) | about 6 years ago | (#24581991)

lol... my son said there was a Lego Star Wars movie coming out. I didn't realize what he meant until I discovered he'd seen a commercial for this one, and assumed it was all Lego.

Please, Oh Great One, just release Mr. Lucas (2, Funny)

Fantastic Lad (198284) | about 6 years ago | (#24581833)

You've killed it.

Star Wars is dead.

Nobody is watching anymore.

It's message has been buried.

We're even laughing at it now.

So really, REALLY, it is no longer a threat to you.

With its political message about evil empires and its spiritual messages about personal power. Really. Nobody is listening to that anymore. You've muddied the waters hopelessly. You've achieved your objective.

So please, please. Retract your mind-control claws from poor George's brain.

Show some pity.


It's not the badness, it's the coverup (1)

davidwr (791652) | about 6 years ago | (#24581837)

You can get away with a lot of petty things like forgettable movies if only you don't try to cover it up.

I knew not to see this when I saw the trailer (2, Insightful)

AbRASiON (589899) | about 6 years ago | (#24581857)

I am not in any way a Star Wars nerd anymore, take note of that.

I saw a link to the trailer on a website I frequent back in May this year, I didn't even know a SW animated movie was coming out and honestly didn't care.
However, I'm open to try a movie of any kind, animated, puppets, I don't care if it's good - I like pixar movies, I once liked Star Wars, I even tried the final fantasy movie.

When the link was posted, within minutes people mocked it and laughed, it's got nothing to do with being untrue to the Star Wars franchise, if anything that may make some hardcore Star Wars fans 'forgive it' - I just saw a trailer for an absoloutely laughable looking kids film, not what I'm interested in, when "Jabba's son has been kidnapped!" is a plot element they feel worthy enough to put in a movie, I figure it's not going places. []

Here is something of note which I figure most of you will agree with and sadly hollywood will never read, nor understand.
Ever since the 3 new movies, Star Wars has been forever tarnished, changing from a great story and universe I am interested in, to something I look at in my mind as simply a 'franchise' or a product.
It's a fascinating transition and one I'm sure marketing people would love to know more about, maybe it's to do with my age or cynicism? Ultimately from my perspective the entire universe is now un-interesting to me, they've caused themselves a massive dis-service as I do not salivate at the thought of any Star Wars products, I don't even fondly remember the originals as I simply can't watch them in the same way.
Yes they are still good but deep down I know that whole universe is diluted.
I had the same feeling from the Matrix sequels, I have no interest even in the first film now.

Just to clarify my stance, I was never ever a huge SW nerd, but I was I guess a light fan (I'm 30 btw) so I saw ROTJ in the cinema, too young for ANH and don't recall empire.
I was never a major hardcore fan, I never purchased the toys or anything but I did like the universe, I did really love the movies and I would've purchased them on DVD for example.
Even the changes to the old 3 movies, made it feel like a product (A New hope 1.01, buy it now!)

Anyhow people go check out the new movie, word on the st is JABBAS SON HAS BEEN KIDNAPPED (oh noes!) :/

Insert useless subject everyone will ignore here (1)

danwesnor (896499) | about 6 years ago | (#24581979)

Sooo... no different than the last 3 movies, eh?

so sad (3, Interesting)

jollyreaper (513215) | about 6 years ago | (#24582005)

I'm a total Star Wars nerd. Not quite a Star Wars dork -- that implies cosplaying at cons, themed weddings, and other acts of fan mortification. But I am a nerd. I grew up on these movies, I watched them over and over and know them inside and out. I would get excited every time I heard the 20th Century Fox fanfare and be disappointed when the movie wasn't Star Wars. I am 100% Lucas' prime demographic. I can obsess over the original trilogy like a Kevin Smith character, though I do differ with him on the matter of Hobbit badassery.

But I digress.

Lucas has managed to snuff my love affair with Star Wars. I saw Phantom Menace with great anticipation and came out inert. I torrented Clones and congratulated myself on saving the money. I only saw the last one in the theater because a gaggle of friends were going and I didn't want to be the wet blanket.

I watched the trailer for this one. Crappy, soulless CGI. How does it differ from the nuTrilogy? I think the characters here looked slightly more lifelike here. There is not a twinge of anticipation, not even a twitch. I'll rewatch the originals (not the re-releases) but even my enjoyment of what came before has been harmed now by what has come after. George Lucas has beat this dead horse until it's nothing more than a thin, red paste. Scrape what's left into a hole and fucking bury it, man. It's done.

Let's Be Realistic (1)

pandrijeczko (588093) | about 6 years ago | (#24582027)

I won't pretend to be a Star Wars geek from the outset - I was a Trek nut until Rick Berman & Brannon Braga kicked the living shit out of the franchise just to get one more dying breath out of it, these days for me it's Battlestar Galactica and proudly displaying the Union Jack tattooed on my chest with pride as we Brits proudly reclaim the "best sc-fi series" throne with the revamped Dr Who.

So for me, the original Star Wars trilogy of movies were never something I went nutty over, I just really enjoyed them as good sci-fi entertainment that I occasionally rewatch.

But let me say one thing here - George Lucas is a very, very shrewd businessman for creating Star Wars movies that, by their very nature, have been designed to squeeze as much money out the hands of fans with merchandise; countless vehicles that can be turned into model & Lego kits, loads of characters to write extra novels about, and even three foot high bears for the kiddies, to start them off nice and young...

And that's all fine and dandy except for the fact that having so much crammed into so few films, it is virtually impossible to make it cohesive - at least as much as Gene Roddenberry did as the controlling hand of Star Trek over almost countless series episodes and a handful of the films.

So what I'm really trying to say is that you cannot turn Star Wars into this realistic, cohesive fictional universe because it was never controlled that way by Lucas.

The Star Wars franchise is, essentially, a merchandising platform, more so than ever, albeit a very well made and entertaining one (at least in the first trology anyway).

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