I am responsible for reading most of the help requests sent to Slashdot. Most of the mail I get in a day is what you would expect, comments and concerns about postings, user accounts and Slashdot itself. There are a very special group however that get passed around the office due to the inordinate level of anger, lack of understanding and just plain weirdness they possess. Through the years I've collected many and still get such gems on a regular basis. We thought it would be fun to share some of our favorite rants, ramblings and ruminations with the rest of you. I give to you the first of many installments of Slashdot's disagree mail. The names have been changed to protect the idiot — hit the link below to drink it in.
Our first entry starts off by explaining:
"Every time I try to login it tells me that my password is bad! I know I'm using the right password why won't you let me in? My account is *******"
I'm sorry but I don't see an account with the name *******. I also don't find an account with the email address you're using associated with it. Do you happen to know what your uid is?
"Try lookin harder cause I was using AOL a few days ago just fine but now I can't! I'm mailing you from the library right now cause you won't let me on the internet!"
AOL? Can you not log into Slashdot or is the problem that you can't get online at home?
"Whats Slashdot why am I given you guys money for internet if I cant use it?!"
Slashdot is the website you are writing to. If you were banned here for some reason I might be able to help you but I'm not in charge of the whole internet, at least not yet. It sounds like you need to get a hold of AOL tech support and hopefully they can solve your problem.
"If you can't help me why are you on google when I type in help with the internet? If you don't want to help people when they need it maybe you shouldn't be on google!"
Our last email this week demonstrates something, but I'm not exactly sure what it is:
date Mon, Aug 11, 2008 at 6:46 PM
subject stop sending me mail
"If your so fucking smart that you created the great and awesome slashdot why can't you figure out that I don't want your stupid bulshit mail! Everyone here acts like they are so much smarter than everyone else and that a teenager can't know what is right because he isn't fat enough from sitting around eating twinkys and playing games on the computer. You never even had a girlfriend I bet because you're to busy being smarter than everyone else. Fuck you stop sending mail just because you can't handle me!
P.S. Sorry I didn't write that my little brother did but I really don't want to get mail from you anymore can you help me please?"