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Geoffrey Perkins Is Dead At 55

kdawson posted more than 6 years ago | from the arthur-dent-removes-his-hat dept.

Television 108

Dynamoo writes "Legendary comedy writer and producer Geoffrey Perkins has died in a road accident in London. Perkins was until recently the head of comedy for BBC TV. Earlier in his career he produced the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy radio series, and was a writer, director, and producer of many comedy shows including Spitting Image, The Fast Show, and several others. He also invented the game of Mornington Crescent. The world will be a less joyful place without him."

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lol (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#24815521)

who?

Re:lol (5, Informative)

eln (21727) | more than 6 years ago | (#24815561)

Perkins was until recently the head of comedy for BBC TV. Earlier in his career he produced the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy radio series, and was a writer, director, and producer of many comedy shows including Spitting Image, The Fast Show, and several others. He also invented the game of Mornington Crescent.

HTH, HAND.

Re:lol (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#24816783)

What the fuck is this? slashdot.co.uk?

What's next?

"Ask Slashdot: Will having straight teeth improve my career as a bespoke software consultationist?"

Re:lol (1)

Stooshie (993666) | more than 5 years ago | (#24818969)

... What the fuck is this? slashdot.co.uk? ...

No, but it's not slahsdot.us either. It's slashdot.org (i.e. international)

The guy produced HHHGTTG. Probably one of the most quoted books/plays/films on slashdot.

The numbers were in his favour... (-1, Troll)

spammeister (586331) | more than 6 years ago | (#24815527)

If anyone from the BBC would have died from a road accident, it would have been someone from Top Gear or Fifth Gear. Not that anyone should die in a road accident at all.

Re:The numbers were in his favour... (0, Redundant)

Vectronic (1221470) | more than 6 years ago | (#24815961)

Why is that? the people at Top/Fifth Gear know how to drive... especially on "streets" where its all in slow-mo compared to what they are used to/have done...

Hammond had a crash in a jet-car...injured, sure... lived, walks, basically fine... cause he had "gear"... some guy who drives to and from work, maybe the odd venture out on the weekends... is far more likely to fuck-up, and when the shit hits the fan they panic, unlike a professional driver who can stay relatively aware of whats happening, and prepair...etc...

Re:The numbers were in his favour... (2, Funny)

Zwicky (702757) | more than 6 years ago | (#24816087)

Hammond had a crash in a jet-car...injured, sure... lived, walks, basically fine...

He did develop a taste for celery [telegraph.co.uk] though so it's not all a bed of roses ;)

some guy who drives to and from work, maybe the odd venture out on the weekends... is far more likely to fuck-up, and when the shit hits the fan they panic, unlike a professional driver who can stay relatively aware of whats happening, and prepair...etc...

I think there's something to say for people pointing and laughing at danger and stealing its lunch money. Clarkson, Hammond and May (well maybe less so for Captain Slow) have cavalier attitudes (which appeals to my sense of 'ah, screw it') and being of a less panicky, laugh in the face of danger disposition may help cope when things go wrong (to a degree) because you may prevent yourself making it worse.

To quote Red Dwarf [nildram.co.uk] :

KRYTEN: Good god! Emergency, emergency! Adopt crash procedure!
RIMMER: (Runs back to rear compartment.) Where's the card? Who's got the
    card?!
LISTER: What card?
RIMMER: The plastic card, the plastic card with the cartoons of the crash
    procedure on it!
LISTER: Don't panic, man!
RIMMER: It should be in the netting behind the seats. Haven't we got to
    sit behind a woman clutching a baby? What's the drill?!
LISTER: Look, I know what is it!
RIMMER: What?
LISTER: Sit down, tuck your head between your legs and brace yourself.
RIMMER: (Bracing) Now what?
LISTER: Then you open the in-flight magazine and start reading. Thing
    is*, the articles act as a sedative. I mean, look at this: "Contents
    List: Salt, an Epicure's Delight; Classic Wines of Estonia; Flemish
    Weaving the Traditional Way." (To the CAT, whose head is lolling) Don't
    fight it, man, let it take you.
RIMMER: How can you be so mind-bogglingly flippant? Don't you know
    what's going to happen? We're going to crash!
LISTER: You've got to stay calm! It's a well-known fact, the more
    relaxed you are, the less likely you are to be injured.
KRYTEN: Good luck, everybody, here it comes!

Wishful thinking maybe, but as far as wishful thinking goes, I like it.

Re:The numbers were in his favour... (4, Interesting)

Goldberg's Pants (139800) | more than 6 years ago | (#24816495)

Hammond can also remember phone numbers now, something he never used to be able to do.

Recent studies have shown that celery actually contains chemicals which help the brain repair itself in the case of an injury, making Hammond's taste for celery very interesting.

Re:The numbers were in his favour... (1)

Zwicky (702757) | more than 5 years ago | (#24818465)

True true. I was being tongue-in-cheek, as I'm sure was obvious.

What happened to the Hamster was likely the exception not the rule and you are right it is very interesting. Not many people come out of a crash like that better off than before, making him a walking, talking miracle.

(Course we have to thank the emergency services, particularly the air ambulance, for their responsiveness or it could have been a very different tale).

What is also pretty neat is that this at least 'anecdotedly' supports the idea - from the article I linked - that

brain inflammation of the kind he suffered is reduced by luteolin - a compound found in celery, green pepper, parsley and chamomile

and even though

the team also notes that, despite the experience of Hammond, the effect of luteolin on humans is still not fully understood

we can have some confidence that it helps in some positive way. Fascinating stuff.

What I wonder is if the body was specifically craving the luteolin or whether it was more coincidental.

Re:The numbers were in his favour... (2, Funny)

MRe_nl (306212) | more than 5 years ago | (#24820699)

And the shorter and more apt version:
DON'T PANIC.

Re:The numbers were in his favour... (1)

ACDChook (665413) | more than 6 years ago | (#24815995)

Fifth Gear is from Channel 5, not the BBC. Hence the name - FIFTH Gear.

Re:The numbers were in his favour... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#24825271)

Fifth Gear only happened because the BBC cancelled the original Top Gear; the old Top Gear was turned into Fifth Gear by Five. Top Gear, as we know it now, was almost totally Clarkson's making.

dangit (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#24815539)

who is going to suck my dick now?

Re:dangit (-1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#24815877)

42.

ZZZ,,, (2, Insightful)

LostCluster (625375) | more than 6 years ago | (#24815541)

The Slashdot editors do realize they've posted a British-centric story at 3:44 AM London time...

Re:ZZZ,,, (5, Funny)

Eudial (590661) | more than 6 years ago | (#24815811)

The Slashdot editors do realize they've posted a British-centric story at 3:44 AM London time...

Ah, but slashdot is news for nerds. It's an integral part of the geek culture to be 6-10 hours out of sync with your timezone.

The relevant XKCD panel is #448 [xkcd.com] .

Re:ZZZ,,, (2, Funny)

Cow Jones (615566) | more than 6 years ago | (#24815965)

It's an integral part of the geek culture to be 6-10 hours out of sync with your timezone.

The relevant XKCD panel is #448 [xkcd.com] .

Or this one: 28-Hour Day [xkcd.com]

Re:ZZZ,,, (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#24816641)

It's an integral part of the geek culture to be 6-10 hours out of sync with your timezone.

The relevant XKCD panel is #448 [xkcd.com] .

Or this one: 28-Hour Day [xkcd.com]

Or this one: Christmas Back Home [xkcd.com]

Re:ZZZ,,, (1)

hack slash (1064002) | more than 6 years ago | (#24816757)

Aw shit, 7:72am, I'm 2 hours past my bedtime!

Re:ZZZ,,, (2, Funny)

Potor (658520) | more than 6 years ago | (#24816523)

Me? The 13th Duke of Wybourne? Here? In a sixth form girl's dormitory? At three o'clock in the morning? With my reputation? What were they thinking of?

Re:ZZZ,,, (1)

hoofie (201045) | more than 6 years ago | (#24825515)

The one that sticks in my mind is similar but with the line "I can almost smell their tears" said in a suitably creepy voice.

Re:ZZZ,,, (1)

Fraser (16937) | more than 5 years ago | (#24817989)

Are you the scheduling police now? Will you be jumping in to flag all the US stories published at what you decide is out of hours because they may not be of interest to anyone outside the US? Thought not.

Perkins' contribution to comedy, and to broadcasting in general, is acknowledged and appreciated all over the world. Not just in Britain.

Re:ZZZ,,, (1)

Stooshie (993666) | more than 5 years ago | (#24818993)

... posted a British-centric story at 3:44 AM London time ...

The editors did, but I bet the original post was at a more london friendly time.

Re:ZZZ,,, (1)

jaymz2k4 (790806) | more than 5 years ago | (#24819799)

The original story is from Friday afternoon, he was killed just after 9am so we all knew about this a couple of days ago this side of the pond...

cool (-1, Flamebait)

deathtopaulw (1032050) | more than 6 years ago | (#24815563)

Maybe with the idiot responsible for horrible british comedy dead, the nation can thrive. Not much hope in that though, they've been unfunny for centuries.

Re:cool (-1, Flamebait)

PopeRatzo (965947) | more than 6 years ago | (#24815861)

You may not find the comedy of the British funny, but at least they've never been in danger of having a big-haired ex-beauty queen who believes that the earth was created in 6 days and gets a kick out of shooting bear cubs from a helicopter with an AK-47 as Prime Minister.

You want comedy?

Re:cool (0, Troll)

HappyEngineer (888000) | more than 6 years ago | (#24815975)

Exactly! Who here can honestly say that a pasty faced old person with an AK-47 doesn't look awesome?

You want comedy? (0, Offtopic)

smitty_one_each (243267) | more than 6 years ago | (#24816053)

The Democratic Party has been an excellent source.
As Charlie Martin [americanthinker.com] points out:

this week, it looks like the Obama campaign's "Chicago Rules" have turned out to be bringing a knife to a gunfight.

big-haired ex-beauty queens with AK-47s (0, Offtopic)

mosel-saar-ruwer (732341) | more than 6 years ago | (#24816667)


Dude, remind me again what we are "in danger of" here?

"In danger of" falling head-over-heals in love?

Here she is as the starting point guard on the state championship women's basketball team [playing with a STRESS FRACTURE, no less]:
.

i.dailymail.co.uk [dailymail.co.uk]

Here she is early in her career as a sportscasterette:

web.me.com [me.com]

And here she is as Governorette of Alaska, sitting on a Grizzly Bear couch, with a stuffed King Crab on the coffee table, wearing flip flops and red toenail polish to work:

graphics8.nytimes.com [nytimes.com]

Again, I ask you in all seriousness - what's not to like here?

I'm not even sure that Angelina Jolie is qualified to play this chick in the movie version, and AJ played Lara Croft, for Goodness's sake.

Re:big-haired ex-beauty queens with AK-47s (1)

PopeRatzo (965947) | more than 5 years ago | (#24818593)

what's not to like here?

you do understand that you are not living in a movie, right? And if by some chance, you are living in a movie, the rest of us are mostly not.

Re:big-haired ex-beauty queens with AK-47s (1)

commandlinegamer (1046764) | more than 5 years ago | (#24818625)

The GOP really dropped the ball on this one; she should be running for President. McCain can do that rearguard thing.

Re:big-haired ex-beauty queens with AK-47s (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#24819955)

Again, I ask you in all seriousness - what's not to like here?

Which way is the AK-47 pointing?

Geoffrey Perkins Dead?? (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#24815639)

that's hilarious

maybe now real British comedy can begin anew. The Perkins' style a bunch of rubbish and a very, very, very tired cliche.

dear moderators: shag me baby

So Long... (1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#24815667)

And thanks for all the laughs.

Um... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#24815683)

I guess we'll have to wait until England wakes up to find out who this was...

Anyway, this still makes the case for ROBOCARS!

How Ironic (-1, Flamebait)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#24815739)

There are about to be a bunch of dead niggers floating around New Orleans.

Not being satisfied with his Katrina effort, Jesus has sent a second hurricane to clean the niggers out of New Orleans.

I can't wait to see all those dead niggers floating like rats on CNN.

Racist Jerk (-1, Redundant)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#24815897)

Somebody please ban this white supremacist.

Can you imagine what it is like for an African American like me to read these horrible things?

I shouldn't have to put up with this. Ban this guy.

African Americans have a proud and noble history and this type of racist speech takes a long, sloppy dump all over it.

Mornington Crescent... (3, Funny)

gardyloo (512791) | more than 6 years ago | (#24815747)

... someone explain all the rules to me again?

Re:Mornington Crescent... (3, Informative)

topham (32406) | more than 6 years ago | (#24815833)

You have to learn them while you go. It's one of the rules.

Re:Mornington Crescent... (1)

seriesrover (867969) | more than 6 years ago | (#24816741)

And by telling the rules you broke the golden rule!

Re:Mornington Crescent... (2, Informative)

moosesocks (264553) | more than 5 years ago | (#24817065)

The best way to learn the rules is to observe a game in progress.

I'll start out (this game, we'll be using the Duke of Edinburgh's rules, Welsh form third or higher).

My move is:
Finsbury Park East

Re:Mornington Crescent... (1)

DevonBorn (975502) | more than 5 years ago | (#24817387)

Blackfriars Station, (plus an extra go as we're playing the DofE's rules).
Hyde Park Corner

Re:Mornington Crescent... (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#24817725)

Regent's Park. (Declaring an attempted Inverse Rushton's Flip. All Northern Line stations are in knip for the next two moves.)

Can I declare whilst posting AC? DofE's doesn't mention it specifically but there is the "masquerade" clause...

Re:Mornington Crescent... (2, Funny)

dash2 (155223) | more than 5 years ago | (#24818035)

Amateurish, dear boy.

Clapham North.

Re:Mornington Crescent... (3, Funny)

adamofgreyskull (640712) | more than 5 years ago | (#24818219)

Pursuant to the Livingstone (abridged) annexation corollary:
Gospel Oak

Re:Mornington Crescent... (2, Informative)

bmsleight (710084) | more than 5 years ago | (#24818329)

Tooting Broadway.

Re:Mornington Crescent... (1)

commandlinegamer (1046764) | more than 5 years ago | (#24818489)

Are you insane? Woolbridge's quintet addendum on the transport of livestock (1978), subsection IV quite clearly prohibits such a move. Stepney Green is the only possible manoeuvre from this point.

Re:Mornington Crescent... (4, Funny)

Pseudonym (62607) | more than 5 years ago | (#24818495)

Bethnal Green

(For those not so familiar with the game, this position is essentially the same as the classic Kolmogorov Gambit (see, for example, Stovold vol CCCLXIV (ii), pp 697-702), except that all hexes are now wild and aquatic crossings will force a transverse shunt. Knip in two.)

Re:Mornington Crescent... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#24818517)

You sunk my battleship. I was sure no-one would find it there.

Re:Mornington Crescent... (1)

commandlinegamer (1046764) | more than 5 years ago | (#24818673)

Hold on, wasn't that part of the Sittingbourne obverse revision sequence? IIRC, it was dependent on local weather conditions for full effectiveness. That day was fine, therefore: Kensal Rise

Re:Mornington Crescent... (2, Interesting)

sqldr (838964) | more than 5 years ago | (#24819275)

good move across the diagonal. That puts me in Knid, so I miss a turn.

Re:Mornington Crescent... (4, Funny)

bmsleight (710084) | more than 5 years ago | (#24819331)

Leading to the classic Reverse-Ksmiov of Mornington Crescent.

Easy really ?

Re:Mornington Crescent... (1)

RMH101 (636144) | more than 5 years ago | (#24823473)

no, I think you'll find that's straddling. Not allowed.

Re:Mornington Crescent... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#24818321)

Mornington Crescent! Ha ha! Too easy...

Re:Mornington Crescent... (1)

dash2 (155223) | more than 5 years ago | (#24818631)

Oh! Oh! Steady on sir! I appeal. This is a blatant violation of the Shackleton Amendment.

Re:Mornington Crescent... (1)

G0rAk (809217) | more than 6 years ago | (#24824739)

The Shackleton Amendment (or "Old Shakey" as most of us like to refer to it) only applies on the Northern Line. From Bethnel Green, when you're trying to implement the Reverse-Ksmiov, options are limited to South Kensington, Elephant and Castle or Paddington, though why you'd play to a national rail terminus when following the third or higher Welsh form of the the Duke of Edinburgh rules is quite beyond me.

The only sensible move at this point is therefore South Kensington though its going to take a pretty nifty Boggleworth's Express Interdiction to get out of that corner.

Frankly the whole strategy fell apart back at Finsbury Park East.

Amateurs, honestly!

Re:Mornington Crescent... (1)

Repton (60818) | more than 5 years ago | (#24823745)

Well, there are two teams, the team that is in and the team that is out. The team that is in goes out except for two of them who go in and the team that is out goes in and tries to get the team that is in out. When all members of the team that is in are out the team that is in is out and the team that was out is now in. When all players have been in and out (or remain not out) the game ends.

...oh, wait, that's cricket. Mornington Crescent is the other game, the confusing one, isn't it?

RIP (1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#24815757)

The Fast Show was one of my favourites. So long and thanks for all the laughs Geoff.

Mornington Crescent... (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#24815777)

The link in the summary goes to a page "explaining" the rules for Mornington Crescent.

It goes into great detail about the origin of the game and its history, but from what I can see the closest it comes to explaining the actual rules is:

"When the game was first played it was based on the 1952 pocket A-Z and a simple formula dictating to which pages one could move and to which pages one could not move."

Sure would be nice if it said anything about the formula...

Re:Mornington Crescent... (2, Funny)

Terri416 (131871) | more than 5 years ago | (#24817451)

Mornington Crescent is an improvisational comedy sketch based roughly on the pocket A-Z. The formula is mythic, and the game follows a simple pattern:

A player makes a move. Another player challenges this with an improvised rule, which can itself be challenged by other improvised rules. The object of the game is to entertain the audience.

The entire population of the UK can now participate in this humorous diversion with the new "Justice Ministry Accredited Status" of many dog wardens, park keepers, charity workers and others. These people are be able to harass and fine (£100) you without any evidence of a crime, merely by claiming that you've done something wrong. They are, of course, encouraged to photograph you while demanding money. Examples of reasons for a fine, given by the Justice Ministry, include dropping litter, but it's really up to the improvisational skills and straight face of the Accredited Person.

I assume that some of the fines find their way into official coffers.

Might have Fainted before falling into road (5, Informative)

piltdownman84 (853358) | more than 6 years ago | (#24815803)

The Independent is reporting that he might have fainted and stumbled onto the road before getting hit.

Also, Anyone else wonder how someone managed to hit him, drive away and not realize it? I understand he was hit by a lorry and not a smart car, but I remeber a few years ago I hit a cat and I sure felt it.

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/police-seek-new-evidence-on-death-of-comedy-guru-geoffrey-perkins-913928.html [independent.co.uk]

Re:Might have Fainted before falling into road (0, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#24816195)

Anyone know the whereabouts of Robert Novak? Perhaps he was out for a drive in London?

Re:Might have Fainted before falling into road (1, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#24816531)

I was thinking Patrick Kennedy myself... Or maybe even Teddy...

Re:Might have Fainted before falling into road (1)

Smauler (915644) | more than 5 years ago | (#24817947)

If the lorry in question was articulated, and the trailer was what hit him, then no, you wouldn't feel it at all. Many accidents are caused by the trailer cutting in to corners - cyclists undertaking lorries then sitting underneath the mirror is a bad idea.

He'll be missed... (5, Informative)

amaupin (721551) | more than 6 years ago | (#24815819)

The BBC Hitch-hiker radio broadcasts were far and away the best versions of Douglas Adams' story of Arthur Dent, Zaphod Beeblebrox, the destruction/creation of Earth, and the search for the question. While I enjoyed the books somewhat, the original radio series was a spectacular production that couldn't be topped.

Geoffrey Perkins will be missed.

Re:He'll be missed... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#24816247)

Can only agree more here .... finest piece of writing I have ever laid ears on.

Re:He'll be missed... (1)

Barny (103770) | more than 6 years ago | (#24816827)

If you loved the radio series (so do I) do yourself a favour and get into "The Fast Show".

This man's sense of comedy will be sorely missed ;(

Re:He'll be missed... (3, Interesting)

PhotoBoy (684898) | more than 5 years ago | (#24818405)

I'm glad to see someone in this thread is showing some decorum instead of making tasteless jokes or asking "who?"

I agree entirely with what you've said, the H2G2 radio shows were fantastic (and a regular fixture on my iPod), I was always disappointed they didn't continue the story after the end of the second series (although Dirk Maggs did a decent job more recently).

Another Perkins favourite of mine was KYTV [imdb.com] , a spoof on satellite TV channels with lots of tacky low budget game shows and news channels.

RIP Geoffrey.

Re:He'll be missed... (1)

Simmeh (1320813) | more than 5 years ago | (#24820827)

damn right, he was one of the classic British legends. Our humour is supreme.

Hitchhikers Curse? (1)

Shag (3737) | more than 6 years ago | (#24815831)

Douglas Adams died at 49, now Perkins at 55... maybe the Universe is killing off people who know The Question.

Re:Hitchhikers Curse? (2, Funny)

Anonymous Monkey (795756) | more than 6 years ago | (#24816461)

Wow, I think I need a cup of tea.

In memorium. (1)

E-Sabbath (42104) | more than 6 years ago | (#24815855)

Well, I suppose I'll start, then.
Bond Street.

Re:In memorium. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#24816065)

Dollis Hill.

Re:In memorium. (2, Informative)

GrahamCox (741991) | more than 6 years ago | (#24816369)

Ah now come on. You *know* you can't open with Bond Street unless you're playing under the King Alfred (amended) rules and it's well known that that isn't recognised as an official version. So maybe I could suggest the alternative of Baker Street, which is a more generally accepted opener?

Re:In memorium. (1)

seriesrover (867969) | more than 6 years ago | (#24816761)

Well spotted - the GP opener was clearer a test to separate the pros from the amateurs.

Re:In memorium. (1)

E-Sabbath (42104) | more than 5 years ago | (#24817743)

Baker Street, Baker Street. Are you quite sure? Remember, I am posting from a _former_ colony, which means that, as per the Pershing subset, we follow the limited previous rules rather than the more modern reconciliation. I believe Bond is legitimate under that, but for global unity, I will not argue the point. On the other hand, it does open the potential for this.

Paddington.

Re:In memorium. (1)

G0rAk (809217) | more than 6 years ago | (#24824849)

Paddington? Ordinarily a foolish move but I see you've got several options open under the Pershing subset however I suspect that if I apply the Ornstein Variation (which I do believe is valid under Pershing) I can hop straight past White City and play Swiss Cottage!

There. Get out of that one!

Wait, Wait, So Tell Me... (2, Funny)

SEWilco (27983) | more than 6 years ago | (#24815905)

Legendary comedy writer and producer Geoffrey Perkins has died in a road accident in London.

Hey, you neglected to say what road! It is, of course, quite relevant that it was Marylebone High Street [independent.co.uk] , as that of course is rather high for him to have shifted over from Town Hall Approach Road.

*BSD is Dying (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#24816003)

It is now official. Netcraft confirms: *BSD is dying

One more crippling bombshell hit the already beleaguered *BSD community when IDC confirmed that *BSD market share has dropped yet again, now down to less than a fraction of 1 percent of all servers. Coming on the heels of a recent Netcraft survey which plainly states that *BSD has lost more market share, this news serves to reinforce what we've known all along. *BSD is collapsing in complete disarray, as fittingly exemplified by failing dead last [samag.com] in the recent Sys Admin comprehensive networking test.

You don't need to be the Amazing Kreskin [amazingkreskin.com] to predict *BSD's future. The hand writing is on the wall: *BSD faces a bleak future. In fact there won't be any future at all for *BSD because *BSD is dying. Things are looking very bad for *BSD. As many of us are already aware, *BSD continues to lose market share. Red ink flows like a river of blood.

FreeBSD is the most endangered of them all, having lost 93% of its core developers. The sudden and unpleasant departures of long time FreeBSD developers Jordan Hubbard and Mike Smith only serve to underscore the point more clearly. There can no longer be any doubt: FreeBSD is dying.

Let's keep to the facts and look at the numbers.

OpenBSD leader Theo states that there are 7000 users of OpenBSD. How many users of NetBSD are there? Let's see. The number of OpenBSD versus NetBSD posts on Usenet is roughly in ratio of 5 to 1. Therefore there are about 7000/5 = 1400 NetBSD users. BSD/OS posts on Usenet are about half of the volume of NetBSD posts. Therefore there are about 700 users of BSD/OS. A recent article put FreeBSD at about 80 percent of the *BSD market. Therefore there are (7000+1400+700)*4 = 36400 FreeBSD users. This is consistent with the number of FreeBSD Usenet posts.

Due to the troubles of Walnut Creek, abysmal sales and so on, FreeBSD went out of business and was taken over by BSDI who sell another troubled OS. Now BSDI is also dead, its corpse turned over to yet another charnel house.

All major surveys show that *BSD has steadily declined in market share. *BSD is very sick and its long term survival prospects are very dim. If *BSD is to survive at all it will be among OS dilettante dabblers. *BSD continues to decay. Nothing short of a miracle could save it at this point in time. For all practical purposes, *BSD is dead.

Fact: *BSD is dying

He was the humour of the BBC (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#24816205)

...if you believe in such a thing.

Happiness, not Sadness (2, Insightful)

Wanado (908085) | more than 6 years ago | (#24816595)

The world will be a less joyful place without him

The world is a more joyful place because of him.

Had to be there? (1)

macraig (621737) | more than 6 years ago | (#24816705)

I guess this is one of those situations where you had to be there... in the U.K., that is? I'm fairly well versed in movies and social memes and even some of what goes on outside my own country's borders, but I had no idea who Geoffrey Palmer was. The OP seems to presume that in fact we all knew who he was and agreed with his alleged importance. If he was that important, I think his influence would have penetrated even my bubble of American isolation.

Re:Had to be there? (1)

Barny (103770) | more than 6 years ago | (#24816841)

Then do yourself a favour, look up "the fast show" and the HHGG British radio series on TPB [thepiratebay.org] and become enlightened :)

Re:Had to be there? (1)

GrahamCox (741991) | more than 5 years ago | (#24816909)

"I've never heard of him therefore he can't be of any importance". How arrogant does that sound? By the way, it's PERKINS, not Palmer.

Re:Had to be there? (1)

macraig (621737) | more than 5 years ago | (#24816987)

It sounds arrogant because I am "arrogant"... or just confident. I tend to trust that I know what I need to know unless shown otherwise. I'm not saying whether this has or has not been one of those instances. Clearly I substituted Mr. Palmer for this other chap because in fact he at least was an enormously important figure in comedy. ;-)

Re:Had to be there? (2, Funny)

commandlinegamer (1046764) | more than 5 years ago | (#24818795)

Hold on, I think we should check with the lovely Samantha on this one. After all, she's used to handling enormous figures.

Re:Had to be there? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#24819847)

I think this sort of attitude is why the world has a negative viewpoint of americans...

Re:Had to be there? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#24817877)

I guess this is one of those situations where you had to be there...

Well, [youtube.com] you [youtube.com] were! [youtube.com]

HTH ;)

Re:Had to be there? (1)

itsdapead (734413) | more than 5 years ago | (#24818359)

I'm fairly well versed in movies and social memes and even some of what goes on outside my own country's borders

As TFA says, Geoffery Perkins was the producer of the original radio series of The Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy - which is mandatory knowledge for nerds, even in the US. If you haven't heard of HHGTTG, or think it started out as a book, TV show or (God help you) a movie then please hand in your geek card at the door.

Having cleared that up, can you enlighten us UK people as to who this "Baraccus Osama" character is?

Re:Had to be there? (1)

macraig (621737) | more than 5 years ago | (#24820127)

It's Bacchus Obama, silly. He's the Liberator.

Re:Had to be there? (1)

Macgrrl (762836) | more than 6 years ago | (#24825489)

Surely in a thread about a producer of British Sci-Fi comedy we would all know that the Liberator was Zen...

minuBs 2, troll) (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 6 years ago | (#24816769)

it Just 0wnz.', the hard drive 7o erosion of user

Sad times, happy memories. (2, Informative)

Terri416 (131871) | more than 5 years ago | (#24817567)

I remember Geoffrey Perkins from the days of the radio series Radio Active. Geoffrey played the gleeful and shameless bully Mike Flex, who was always making the life of Mike Channel (Angus Deaton) a living hell.

The series itself was a spoof of the low-budget and lower-standards private radio, the personality defects of the characters, and the toxic atmosphere they created. Each program was also a spoof on a particular genre of programme series, for instance: Round Your Parts (local interest), Probe Round the Back (consumer affairs) and God Alone Knows. After a few series on Radio 4 the show transferred to TV for it's swan song KYTV "You'll never be stuck with KY Telly".

Re:Sad times, happy memories. (1)

dash2 (155223) | more than 5 years ago | (#24818047)

Oh my god Radioactive! Is that available anywhere, I haven't heard that since I was 11.

Re:Sad times, happy memories. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#24819605)

terrorist link [thepiratebay.org]

Regret (1)

seanellis (302682) | more than 5 years ago | (#24818029)

I once sat opposite Mr Perkins on a train, coming back from Waterloo one evening. He looked busy, so to my lasting regret I didn't disturb him to say "thanks" for the Guide, KYTV, etc. And now I never will be able to, and that makes me sad.

First Move (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#24819489)

King's Cross!

Re:First Move (1)

OriginalArlen (726444) | more than 5 years ago | (#24823039)

Playing Crockford's Original rules I see. OK, I'll bite. Camden Parkway.

Re:First Move (1)

G0rAk (809217) | more than 6 years ago | (#24824953)

Camden Parkway? You must be mad! Crockfords backway gambit will have you pinned down. Unless you're planning to employ The Lesser Urmston side watch in which case... ah, yes, very clever. Very clever indeed. But I think I can head you off.

...

Hmm.

...

Shoreditch.

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