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Slashdot's Disagree Mail

samzenpus posted about 6 years ago | from the I-want-back-in dept.

It's funny.  Laugh. 188

Since we covered people who wanted out of Slashdot last week, I thought we'd look at some people who wanted back in. These users found that living without Slashdot was a lot harder than they thought. Maybe you've just been married and are finding out your wife is less interesting than Slashdot or maybe you were bad and want to make amends. These people found out it's hard to make it without your favorite website. Keep reading to find out what they'll do to get back.

I realize that sometimes it's hard to figure out when you've crossed the line. It just seemed so obvious in this case that I wasn't sure what to write back. The other thing to remember here is that this guys name was a synonym for excrement, joined with a sex act.

On Sun, 26 Jun 2005 ******* wrote:
"People have the right to say what they want. If you are going to run a website thats free you have to let me talk about fucking animals if I want. I don't really fuck them but if I did it's none of your business if I want to talk about it. I know I will be marked as a troll I don't care about that. I care about not being able to post more. I don't care if I've been modded down or that my karma is low. I have inner karma not some stupid number you made up. If my inner karma is ok with talking about something bad that I don't do you should be to. Let me post more."

Don't get me wrong I like Slashdot but if you are a newlywed and you want to spend more time here than with your new wife, you married poorly. Maybe if you did some more "working" on your wife, you'd find something much better to do in the dark than read Slashdot.

On Wed, 2 July 2008 ********* wrote:
"I know you're busy but was wondering if you can help me out. I really like reading Slashdot but my new wife hates how much I check it during the day. She says that I should check on her as much but we both know that she doesn't update as much :-). LOL but really she doesn't. I thought I could teach her how cool gadgets and geeks are but she doesn't believe me and won't even try. I'm sitting in the dark down here right now so she won't see me. I've rambled enough what I want to ask of you is that maybe you could post more girl kinda stories. She likes horses and has had them since she was a little girl maybe something about horses. If you can't I understand but would really reallly appreciate it. If you can even mail me some stories you find that she might like just mail me the URL and maybe together we can convert her. I really want to read more and talk to her less. If you could work on her for me I'll be the most loyal reader ever."

This is one of my favorite mails of all time. Getting propositioned to bend the rules at work is the type of thing that is usually reserved for politicians or people working concert security. This lady proved that Valentine's Day can be lonely and there is nothing someone would not do to post to Slashdot.

On Fri, 14 Feb 2003 ****** wrote:
"I've been banned because you say I've been bad. How bad would you like me? I have some pictures on ******* my username is ****** If you like what you see let me know maybe we can work something out. I've always had a thing for the smart guys. Just thinking about what we could do is making my face flush and my nipples get hard. I'm going to need to change my panties I think. Maybe I'll let you change them for me. I live in Boston but travel a lot. All I need is a little slashdot love but I'm sure you can give me a lot. I'd like to straddle you and let my motuh wander over your ears, licking them while you tell me how I shouldn't have done what I did. You grab my hair and..."

It goes on for a couple of paragraphs, I'll spare you the details except to mention that the word "enter" was tattooed in a few places that you can probably imagine. To be honest at this point I was hoping I would find an Esc tattoo somewhere. She ends with:

"... I couldn't be more serious. I have a feeling that we can work something out that we both would enjoy."

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188 comments

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Protesting too much? (4, Funny)

Naughty Bob (1004174) | about 6 years ago | (#24981749)

....I thought we'd look at some people who wanted back in....

So actually, it was 1 person who wanted back in, some guy claiming a /. story about horses will save his marriage, and... ah. Perhaps the real reason for this lamest of front page stories?-

An opportunity for a little light boasting. I bet chicks would dig me if I too edited Slashdot....

Re:Protesting too much? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 6 years ago | (#24982861)

....I thought we'd look at some people who wanted back in....

That's what she said!

Re:Protesting too much? (2, Insightful)

Joe Snipe (224958) | about 6 years ago | (#24982987)

Just stop. If you don't like it don't read it, that simple. And don't keep saying "it shouldn't be front page", honestly do you know of any other parts of slashdot that are not on the front page by default?

OMG Ponies (5, Funny)

immcintosh (1089551) | about 6 years ago | (#24981789)

She likes horses and has had them since she was a little girl maybe something about horses. If you can't I understand but would really reallly appreciate it.

It's decided. We need more OMG PONIES.

Re:OMG Ponies (5, Insightful)

gardyloo (512791) | about 6 years ago | (#24981911)

Can't be worse than the colorscheme on SlashMail, right?

OMG Panties (3, Insightful)

bit trollent (824666) | about 6 years ago | (#24981917)

I think we can all agree that what we need more OMG Panties.

Re:OMG Ponies (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | about 6 years ago | (#24981949)

There was a pretty in depth comment on horses just the other day... http://ask.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=961481&cid=24971623 [slashdot.org]

Re:OMG Ponies (2, Funny)

AgentPaper (968688) | about 6 years ago | (#24981957)

It's decided. We need more OMG PWNIES. [thinkgeek.com]

Fixed that for you.

Re:OMG Ponies (1)

Columcille (88542) | about 6 years ago | (#24982277)

Where is the -1 painful mod?

Re:OMG Ponies (4, Funny)

psychodelicacy (1170611) | about 6 years ago | (#24982351)

Clearly, the guy who wrote post No.1 needs to be introduced to the wife of the guy who wrote post No.2. He clearly has lots of lovely stories about nice animals to tell her...

Cmon! (5, Funny)

CaptainPatent (1087643) | about 6 years ago | (#24981815)

I have some pictures on ******* my username is ****** If you like what you see let me know

No really, what was her user name... you know, just out of curiosity...

Re:Cmon! (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 6 years ago | (#24981845)

I definitely second this motion. Anonymously of course, but ... yeah.

Re:Cmon! (1)

MyLongNickName (822545) | about 6 years ago | (#24982219)

CmdrTaco. Biggest cup size I'd ever seen.

Re:Cmon! (3, Funny)

KGIII (973947) | about 6 years ago | (#24982363)

And a link to the pictures... Hell, I won't even bother posting AC.

Re:Cmon! (5, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | about 6 years ago | (#24982155)

Her? you're obviously new here...

Re:Cmon! (1)

qoncept (599709) | about 6 years ago | (#24982285)

Sorry, dude. She said she likes smart guys. Not guys that take lame joke bait.

Seriously, if you're going to post that, you should, at the very least, and not that it would excuse you, include a disclaimer. A simple "I'll bite, ..." or the ol' subject "Because somebody had to say it."

Missing pieces (5, Funny)

scipiodog (1265802) | about 6 years ago | (#24982855)

"I'd like to straddle you and let my motuh wander over your ears, licking them while you tell me how I shouldn't have done what I did. You grab my hair and..."

I think I can guess what came next:

"I put on my wizard hat...."

Re:Missing pieces (3, Funny)

ack154 (591432) | about 6 years ago | (#24982917)

Nice...

I can't believe it took that long for a BloodNinja joke. The setup was right there...

Re:Cmon! (1)

Bryansix (761547) | about 6 years ago | (#24982921)

It's probably a guy who wrote that email. Trust me, you don't want to go down that path.

Please... (5, Insightful)

bman (84104) | about 6 years ago | (#24981823)

Make it stop.

Think of the children.

Reading is fundemental (5, Funny)

bonkeydcow (1186443) | about 6 years ago | (#24981839)

"I really want to read more and talk to her less."
In the words of Larry the cable guy. That's funny right there, I don't care who you are.

Great post (5, Insightful)

eebra82 (907996) | about 6 years ago | (#24981853)

"People have the right to say what they want. If you are going to run a website thats free you have to let me talk about fucking animals if I want. I don't really fuck them but if I did it's none of your business if I want to talk about it. I know I will be marked as a troll I don't care about that. I care about not being able to post more. I don't care if I've been modded down or that my karma is low. I have inner karma not some stupid number you made up. If my inner karma is ok with talking about something bad that I don't do you should be to. Let me post more."

What does Slashdot being free have to do with moderation? Same thing goes for free forums; if the topic is set on hardware, you discuss hardware and not sodomized goats. You're free to express whatever view you have, but since certain rules apply to the commentary system, you must also respect it. Furthermore, they don't forbid you to post unrelated comments. But they do have authority to delete it if you're not playing by the rules.

Re:Great post (3, Insightful)

TheSpoom (715771) | about 6 years ago | (#24982057)

A lot of people seem to think that free speech extends to non-public places. A public forum like Slashdot is still owned by someone (in this case, OSTG) and that someone has the right to refuse entry.

Re:Great post (4, Funny)

AccUser (191555) | about 6 years ago | (#24982217)

and that someone has the right to refuse entry.

If only the same could be said for that poor goat. :-(

Re:Great post (1)

operagost (62405) | about 6 years ago | (#24983039)

A lot of people seem to think that free speech extends to non-public places. A public forum like Slashdot is still owned by someone (in this case, OSTG) and that someone has the right to refuse entry.

Except for reasons of race, religion, sex, politics, sexual orientation, dress, etc... gee, I guess using the word "right' here is ironic.

I confess (4, Funny)

Profane MuthaFucka (574406) | about 6 years ago | (#24981861)

I personally wrote *all* those mails myself.

Best Slashdot sig ever! (3, Informative)

Anonymous Coward | about 6 years ago | (#24983225)

"I personally wrote *all* those mails myself."

Coming from the guy (girl?!) whose .sig used to be "If God didn't want us fucking livestock, why did he make them so sexy?" [overcaffeinated.net] , I can believe that! Especially the one about horses ;)

talk to her less (3, Funny)

SoupGuru (723634) | about 6 years ago | (#24981889)

Wow, way to disprove the slashdot stereotype.

Wow, to the newlywed guy! (2, Insightful)

morgan_greywolf (835522) | about 6 years ago | (#24981913)

If you spend more time on Slashdot than with your newlywed wife, I'd say you probably need some serious counseling. Like, right now.

Oh, and in case you missed it, Slashdot did, at one time have a story about ponies. ;) OMG PONIES!!!!

Re:Wow, to the newlywed guy! (2, Insightful)

PawNtheSandman (1238854) | about 6 years ago | (#24982047)

But they were not Apocalypse Ponies.

I demand more Apocalypse Pony stories!

Re:Wow, to the newlywed guy! (1)

morgan_greywolf (835522) | about 6 years ago | (#24982247)

Uh, try the Book of Revelations. Also, I hear some cat named Nostradamus wrote stuff in the 12th century or something like that.

Re:Wow, to the newlywed guy! (5, Funny)

hesiod (111176) | about 6 years ago | (#24982321)

My cat's name is Nostradamus, but he doesn't write shit, that lazy bastard.

Re:Wow, to the newlywed guy! (1, Informative)

Anonymous Coward | about 6 years ago | (#24982485)

Wooooooosssshhhhhh!!!

Re:Wow, to the newlywed guy! (1)

operagost (62405) | about 6 years ago | (#24983071)

It's spelled Revelation. And Nostradamus didn't write about the horses; that imagery belongs solely to the Bible.

Why (3, Funny)

camperdave (969942) | about 6 years ago | (#24981951)

Why

Re:Why (2, Insightful)

Rob T Firefly (844560) | about 6 years ago | (#24981985)

Because.

Is (1, Insightful)

camperdave (969942) | about 6 years ago | (#24981987)

Is

The (1, Insightful)

camperdave (969942) | about 6 years ago | (#24982023)

The

Comment (2, Insightful)

camperdave (969942) | about 6 years ago | (#24982061)

Comment

Box (1)

camperdave (969942) | about 6 years ago | (#24982093)

Box

So (1)

camperdave (969942) | about 6 years ago | (#24982141)

So

Small? (1)

camperdave (969942) | about 6 years ago | (#24982177)

Small?

Re:Small? (1)

Cobralisk (666114) | about 6 years ago | (#24982395)

It's to encourage readers to switch to Chrome, which lets you resize <textarea> boxes as large as you like. :)

Re:Small? (4, Funny)

mustafap (452510) | about 6 years ago | (#24982493)

>Chrome, which lets you resize boxes as large as you like

ah, so *thats* where all the extra ram went.

Re:Small? (5, Funny)

pdboddy (620164) | about 6 years ago | (#24983047)

No, the extra "ram" went to the animal fucker in the first email.

Re:Small? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 6 years ago | (#24982497)

Because you touch yourself at night.

Re:So (1)

DwarfGoanna (447841) | about 6 years ago | (#24983215)

C-C-C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!!

(sorry, but what else are you going to do in an idle thread?)

Re:Comment (0, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | about 6 years ago | (#24982101)

C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER

Re:Comment (2, Funny)

Pulse_Instance (698417) | about 6 years ago | (#24982831)

EPIC FAIL

Re:Why (1)

pushing-robot (1037830) | about 6 years ago | (#24982099)

Are

Re:Why (1)

pushing-robot (1037830) | about 6 years ago | (#24982195)

You

Re:Why (1)

pushing-robot (1037830) | about 6 years ago | (#24982255)

Using

Re:Why (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 6 years ago | (#24982279)

My

Re:Why (1)

pushing-robot (1037830) | about 6 years ago | (#24982411)

Dasher

Re:Why (1)

pushing-robot (1037830) | about 6 years ago | (#24982481)

To

Re:Why (1)

pushing-robot (1037830) | about 6 years ago | (#24982573)

Write

Re:Why (1)

pushing-robot (1037830) | about 6 years ago | (#24982731)

Your

Re:Why (1)

pushing-robot (1037830) | about 6 years ago | (#24983081)

Post?

yo samzenpus (1)

larry bagina (561269) | about 6 years ago | (#24981977)

that was a dude. You were trolled. Don't feel bad, you weren't trolled as bad as fyodor. That was funny.

Re:yo samzenpus (3, Insightful)

morgan_greywolf (835522) | about 6 years ago | (#24982021)

you weren't trolled as bad as fyodor

I'm not sure anyone has been trolled as bad fyodor.

Re:yo samzenpus (1)

tlacuache (768218) | about 6 years ago | (#24982379)

I must have missed that one, can someone fill me in?

Shark jumping anyone? (2, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | about 6 years ago | (#24982001)

If you have to put this on the front page, minimize it like the other limited-interest stuff.

I'm here to read the articles, not you. Message, not messenger.

Or is this Slashdot's way of making all readers register so they can filter out Idle?

Re:Shark jumping anyone? (1)

deft (253558) | about 6 years ago | (#24982113)

Its clearly a way to keep you posting.

People hate howards stern too.... every day they listen to him.

Re:Shark jumping anyone? (1)

twistedsymphony (956982) | about 6 years ago | (#24982333)

I suspect that they want more people to check out the idle section by putting some of it on the main page and figure the disagree mails are the most appropriate vehicle.

I enjoy them, it's about the only part of the idle section I do like.

Enough Already ! (2, Insightful)

CmdrGravy (645153) | about 6 years ago | (#24982005)

Seriously, if we really must be subjected to this crap surely to goodness there have at some point been some real genuinely amusing e-mails rather than this rather obvious trollish piss taking we're currently being shown. Honestly, anything rather than this, amusing anecdotes of the editors journey into work, his relationship with his stepmother or the black family who have moved in down the street anything would be better.

Please, please, please make this stop !

Re:Enough Already ! (3, Insightful)

evilklown (1008863) | about 6 years ago | (#24982931)

You know, you don't have to read every story that gets posted.

Re:Enough Already ! (4, Informative)

pdboddy (620164) | about 6 years ago | (#24983069)

You can make it so that Idle doesn't show on the main page. Checked your user preferences lately?

Ick (4, Insightful)

Itninja (937614) | about 6 years ago | (#24982027)

Just thinking about what we could do is making my face flush and my nipples get hard. I'm going to need to change my panties

Fifty bucks says this was written by a dude.

Re:Ick (5, Funny)

jason.sweet (1272826) | about 6 years ago | (#24982229)

"Fifty bucks says this was written by a dude."

100 bucks says samzenpus found that out in person.

Re:Ick (1)

LighterShadeOfBlack (1011407) | about 6 years ago | (#24982283)

The way that was worded made me think of incontinence rather than moist lady parts. Whoever wrote it, I think they need to work on their dirty talk.

Re:Ick (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 6 years ago | (#24982365)

Holy Crap! a Talking Fifty!

People is stupid (3, Funny)

192939495969798999 (58312) | about 6 years ago | (#24982055)

I am just shocked at how stupid some of these people is.

Re:People is stupid (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | about 6 years ago | (#24982149)

LOL - you said "is" - you should of said "am"!

Re:People is stupid (1)

BitterOldGUy (1330491) | about 6 years ago | (#24982173)

Cmdr Taco et al. Laughing all the way to the bank. People R stewpid.

Re:People is stupid (1)

EvilGoodGuy (811015) | about 6 years ago | (#24982193)

Indeed there is many stupid people.

Spare us the details? (1)

supernova_hq (1014429) | about 6 years ago | (#24982085)

You are going to spare us the details?!?!?

Re:Spare us the details? (1)

ZERO1ZERO (948669) | about 6 years ago | (#24982293)

Exactly - what is the freaking point of posting this pish in the first place.

Re:Spare us the details? (1)

supernova_hq (1014429) | about 6 years ago | (#24983219)

Whoosh! (I was references the remaining part of the last email)

wtf? (1)

l0cust (992700) | about 6 years ago | (#24982207)

It goes on for a couple of paragraphs, I'll spare you the details

Ok I don't like you anymore.

Ok, so logically... (5, Funny)

serviscope_minor (664417) | about 6 years ago | (#24982233)

One guy wants to talk about screwing animals. Another guy wants more stories about horses. The third person is obsessed with sex...

The simple application of logic suggests that one story could make all three people happy. Is this going to be new slashdot section? Award goes to the slashdotter who comes up with the new section icon.

Re:Ok, so logically... (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 6 years ago | (#24982477)

A hand jerking a pencil eraser-sized dick would be ideal for a section icon.

Re:Ok, so logically... (1)

lazyforker (957705) | about 6 years ago | (#24982525)

Goatse.cx of course.

Re:Ok, so logically... (1)

operagost (62405) | about 6 years ago | (#24983211)

Horsese.cx. You fail at the internet.

The last letter (1)

g0bshiTe (596213) | about 6 years ago | (#24982289)

/me changes his name to CowboyN3al

You think she'll fall for it?

Seriously? (-1, Redundant)

belgar (254293) | about 6 years ago | (#24982359)

Please make it stop. I can't decide if it's because it's (a) short, (b) unfunny, or (c) just lame, but make the disagree mail go away. Soon.

Re:Seriously? (4, Insightful)

serviscope_minor (664417) | about 6 years ago | (#24982463)

Please make it stop. I can't decide if it's because it's (a) short, (b) unfunny, or (c) just lame, but make the disagree mail go away. Soon.

Seriously? You don't like these stories, yet when you see them on the front page, you put your dislike aside, click on the link and take the time to post a comment. So, despite your claim, here you are, getting entertainment from the thread. Seems to me that these stories are doing their job...

Re:Seriously? (2, Insightful)

VeNoM0619 (1058216) | about 6 years ago | (#24982559)

Please make it stop. I can't decide if it's because it's (a) short, (b) unfunny, or (c) just lame, but stop making comments. Soon.

If it says Idle... don't read it? Why do people complain? Even the FRONT PAGE of slashdot says "Idle is a complete waste of your time, don't go there". This goes to show how many idiots will still post how much they hate something they are reading, even knowing they don't like it BEFORE reading it. What's next, going to a Microsoft forum and saying how much you hate Microsoft?

Re:Seriously? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 6 years ago | (#24982759)

And yet you continue to read it.
Repeating the same action and expecting a different result?

Re:Seriously? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 6 years ago | (#24983009)

since when were you forced to read every story on slashdot?

just skip it alread!

Re:Seriously? (1)

Lars T. (470328) | about 6 years ago | (#24983049)

but make the disagree mail go away. Soon.

Sure. Click here [slashdot.org] , find section "Customize Stories on the Homepage", click the left most button in the line starting with "Idle", click "Save".

Re:Seriously? (1)

pdwalker (113292) | about 6 years ago | (#24983223)

Please make it stop. I can't decide if it's because it's (a) short, (b) unfunny, or (c) just lame, but make the disagree mail go away. Soon.

Are you kidding? I normally mod the "funny" posts down by 5 so I don't have to see them.

These, however, are fantastic!

Honestly, you cannot make this stuff any funnier.

So much wasted space to the right! (2, Insightful)

sveard (1076275) | about 6 years ago | (#24982429)

Perhaps soon we will see "no more idle" mails in Slashdot's Disagree Mail? I mean, those mails must be piling up, right? :)

Or has this already been done?

I said this (1)

dbc23 (1161569) | about 6 years ago | (#24982513)

In the last disagree mail but... When did slashdot become somethingawful?

Poor newlywed fellow... (2, Insightful)

eagee (1308589) | about 6 years ago | (#24982585)

He hasn't figured out how to translate girl-language ... seriously kid - if you want someone with your interests you're pretty much going to have to marry a guy. What you need, is a girl language to guy language translation toolkit! Unfortunately, no one has made one yet. However... Translations exist! ... When a girl says, "You always read /. instead of paying attention to me!" what she's really saying is, "I feel like we haven't spent a lot of time together lately, and I miss you." Close the laptop then and there, and make some time for your girl (if you want to keep her). Marriage is all about compromise. You don't have to have the same interests, but you do have to live together - which means sucking it up and talking about horses sometimes. Furthermore, stop sneaking around in your own home! That's just retarded.

Re:Poor newlywed fellow... (1)

snowraver1 (1052510) | about 6 years ago | (#24982829)

You missed the (very valid) point that /. updates more often that a Wife/GF. Sometimes the web just puts out better then the real thing...

Free Speech (5, Insightful)

Experiment 626 (698257) | about 6 years ago | (#24982641)

That first guy exemplifies a very common misconception about free speech, that because you have the right to say what you want (true), you have the right to force other people to provide you a forum for that speech, publish that speech, etc. (false). The principle of free speech says you should have as much right as CmdrTaco to create a Web site to talk about whatever it is you want to talk about, not that you should be able to hijack someone else's.

If McCain had showed up at the DNC and told them they had to give him the floor for an hour to tell everyone why Obama is a lousy candidate, the convention organizers would rightfully tell him, "Your convention is next week, talk about whatever you want there but at this one we have a liberal, pro-Obama message". It's also why spam blocking is not a free speech issue like the spammers try to paint it as. You have the right to say whatever you want about your product, but not the right to force me to receive or read your messages.

It's really just a case of your right to swing your fist ending where the other guy's face begins.

I be bad karma (2, Interesting)

arizwebfoot (1228544) | about 6 years ago | (#24982785)

So . . .now that I have bad karma, how much longer before I get booted too?

It's probably been posted already but (1)

Ynsats (922697) | about 6 years ago | (#24983205)

I gotta ask.

What the hell is a "motuh" and why would anyone want it licking their ears?

Horsies and Princesses (1)

fourbeer (144112) | about 6 years ago | (#24983213)

Slashdot definitely needs more articles about Horsies and Princess.

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