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Depressed Astronauts Might Get Computerized Solace

CmdrTaco posted more than 5 years ago | from the just-email-them-porn dept.

NASA 138

alphadogg writes "Clinical tests on a four-year, $1.74 million project for NASA, called the Virtual Space Station, are expected to begin in the Boston area by next month. The effort is designed to address the onset of depression in astronauts while they are in outer space. In the project, sponsored by the National Space Biomedical Research Institute, a recorded video therapist guides astronauts through a widely used depression therapy called 'problem-solving treatment.'" Here's a related story from a few weeks ago. Those astronauts got it rough.

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Depressed astronauts? (1, Funny)

BadAnalogyGuy (945258) | more than 5 years ago | (#25526645)

This morning I read about a dog that was put on antidepressants. I thought to myself about how hard it must be to be a dog. Wake up whenever you want. Get fed at regular intervals. The only job requirement is that you show a modicum of glee when your owner is around. What does a dog get depressed about?

People who have the best job in the world (and out of this world) really don't get much sympathy from me when they complain about the job.

Re:Depressed astronauts? (2, Insightful)

Spazztastic (814296) | more than 5 years ago | (#25526703)

And furthermore depression is evident when working in close proximity with others. There's no escape, you can't go and do anything really private. Hell, how are you supposed to do something as simple as crank out out when you have to worry about catching it all or it may jam an instrument panel?

Best job in the world? I disagree. I'd rather win the lottery and do nothing for the rest of my years then be an astronaut. That is if I could choose :)

Re:Depressed astronauts? (3, Interesting)

jonas_sten (1330435) | more than 5 years ago | (#25526809)

After a while you would become depressed because your money is the wrong color. man have simply not evolved to be happy. depression is clearly not a new fad. People hated their jobs in the 12th century and still do.

Re:Depressed astronauts? (4, Interesting)

MindKata (957167) | more than 5 years ago | (#25527155)

"After a while you would become depressed because your money is the wrong color. man have simply not evolved to be happy. depression is clearly not a new fad. People hated their jobs in the 12th century and still do."

An alternative interpretation would be, a job acts like a cage (retricting what you can think and do) and a caged animal feels depression, at lack of freedom. So its not that people are or are not evolved to be happy, its that people are not evolved to be caged in a job.

Sounds like its time you found a new cage! :) ... while its still a cage, the new surroundings may make it feel like a better cage.... that is, until you can find a way to live without the need of a cage... I'm still looking for the answer to that one, like most people. :)

Re:Depressed astronauts? (2, Interesting)

khallow (566160) | more than 5 years ago | (#25528067)

An alternative interpretation would be, a job acts like a cage (retricting what you can think and do) and a caged animal feels depression, at lack of freedom. So its not that people are or are not evolved to be happy, its that people are not evolved to be caged in a job.

My take is that would be a wrong interpretation. The job isn't a cage in this example, it is merely perceived as one.

Re:Depressed astronauts? (1)

MindKata (957167) | more than 5 years ago | (#25528755)

I'm not sure it would be a perceived cage. I think its more that there are cages of different sizes, some with different standards of living in the cages. If you live in a good zoo, then it could be a very nice cage. But even some apparently good cages, can often turn out to be Corporate Cults, (I've worked in a few of these, unfortunately just like a lot of programmers over the years).
http://www.amazon.com/Corporate-Cults-Insidious-All-Consuming-Organization/dp/0814404936 [amazon.com]

I think all societies requires an overall cage for everyone. We all must live within its boundaries and the edges of this overall cage, defines what society considers its outer accepted boundaries. But there are also nested cages within cages. These nested cages are created by some people with power over us. Our zoo keeper bosses. These zoo cages, seek to confine us to other more restricted cage boundaries. Which are for the gain of the zoo keepers and are the rules which maintainance power over us. There are some people who seek to gain power over us and not just governments. Some bosses also seek the power to dictate boundaries of accepted behaviour. This can make some cages unhappy places to be in. Unfortunately as most of us need to earn money, then we have to sit quitely in some zoo cage, otherwise our current zoo keep will throw us out and get a new zoo exibit. But then we can leave one zoo and go to another zoo. But most of us still need to live in zoos, but we can still dream of the day, we can run free from the need for any zoos. :)

Re:Depressed astronauts? (1)

khallow (566160) | more than 5 years ago | (#25530175)

I don't like my original post. I think it more correct to say that the perception of a cage is itself a cage. But one of our own making. That fits with the poster who observed that man may have evolved to be unhappy. Bosses and coworkers can attempt to impose their will on us, but that works only if we let it. Remember, a tiger can't quit and leave the cage. We can.

Re:Depressed astronauts? (1)

Bazer (760541) | more than 5 years ago | (#25530261)

Sounds like its time you found a new cage! :) ... while its still a cage, the new surroundings may make it feel like a better cage.... that is, until you can find a way to live without the need of a cage... I'm still looking for the answer to that one, like most people. :)

A bigger cage... I can't even see the bars! [reliccommunity.com]

Re:Depressed astronauts? (1)

stranger_to_himself (1132241) | more than 5 years ago | (#25527497)

After a while you would become depressed because your money is the wrong color. man have simply not evolved to be happy. depression is clearly not a new fad. People hated their jobs in the 12th century and still do.

That's absolutely true - but I think an extra problem for these guys is being stuck somewhere without the usual things we can try to make depressed people feel better (like go on holiday, buy a dog, get some exercise, change your life, etc), and the danger of somebody mission critical being out of action for a prolonged period.

So while it's an old problem - I think it has new complications. I wonder if there's any historical documentation of depression on long sea voyages and what was done about it.

Re:Depressed astronauts? (4, Funny)

couchslug (175151) | more than 5 years ago | (#25527695)

"Hell, how are you supposed to do something as simple as crank out out when you have to worry about catching it all or it may jam an instrument panel?"

Stealth fapping tech is inevitable. A cross between a Fleshlight and a milking machine should do the job.

Re:Depressed astronauts? (2, Funny)

NotBornYesterday (1093817) | more than 5 years ago | (#25528063)

Forget that. Fap out loud. None of the other astronauts will touch your stuff after that.

Re:Depressed astronauts? (1)

Savior_on_a_Stick (971781) | more than 5 years ago | (#25528859)

Just make it a requirement that only married people can become astronauts.
That way the lack of sex will be normal and expected.

Re:Depressed astronauts? (5, Informative)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#25526773)

Depression is not always about something. That's the thing. Sometimes people just feel like total shit without there being a clear reason for it.

Re:Depressed astronauts? (1)

yttrstein (891553) | more than 5 years ago | (#25529549)

It's even worse than that. Not only is it absolutely not understood why it's so common during long periods spent outside earth's atmosphere, but the solution to use "problem solving treatment" paints the understanding of this phenomenon in an even more disturbing light, since "problem solving treatment" has exactly zero conclusive stats behind it. See here:

http://www.bmj.com/cgi/content/full/320/7245/1340/a

Disturbing, that is, not only because it probably won't work, its a huge waste of money, and there's nothing sadder than a depressed astronaut, but also because it occurs to me that "science" should be the point of these trips and everything that occurs on them--and it's quite painfully clear that at least in one very important circumstance, science has been abandoned for pop psych.

Re:Depressed astronauts? (4, Funny)

dattaway (3088) | more than 5 years ago | (#25526777)

People who have the best job in the world (and out of this world) really don't get much sympathy from me when they complain about the job.

Never underestimate several people in a small capsule farting over many days. Sometimes depression will make your eyes burn.

Submariners might be better (4, Insightful)

TheLink (130905) | more than 5 years ago | (#25527519)

"Never underestimate several people in a small capsule farting over many days"

That's the thing, perhaps NASA is selecting from the wrong pool of people to put into small capsules for long periods of time.

Instead of picking from the usual air force sort of people maybe they should be picking candidates from nuclear submarines.

Might be easier to find a submariner that can be trained to fly than to find an air force sort of person willing to put up with being stuck in a claustrophobic tube for months with no way out except "Mission over" or death.

Re:Submariners might be better (1)

KylePflug (898555) | more than 5 years ago | (#25528169)

That's a surprisingly intuitive observation. Huttah to you.

Re:Submariners might be better (1)

Chyeld (713439) | more than 5 years ago | (#25528581)

Forget the submariners, get a battleship crew [wikipedia.org] up there. They'll know what to do.

Re:Depressed astronauts? (1, Informative)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#25526817)

Depends on the dog. Some are real working breeds, as most herder dogs, like the Border Collies, some are bred as guard dogs. If they don't do those jobs they can get pretty neurotic, rounding up little kids in the neighborhood or not letting anyone near the property they're on.

Some dogs just become anxiety ridden when left alone and tear into the furniture, bedding. whatever to relieve themselves.

You might even find the term "Prozac Puppies" on the Wiki.

As regards the astronauts, think again about what kind of job they're facing, maybe on a trip to Mars. 3 or 4 years in close proximity to the same small set of people, no privacy, pretty much every moment programmed for you, in a small capsule where you don't even have the luxury of floating on a sea surface in an atmosphere waiting to see if someone can rescue if something goes wrong. This isn't Buck Rogers astronauts, this is Kon Tiki astronauts.

They have plenty to get depressed about.

Re:Depressed astronauts? (2, Insightful)

Chyeld (713439) | more than 5 years ago | (#25527051)

Dear me, what a quaint and outdated view of what depression is and how it works. Are you one of those people who assume that addiction is merely a matter of will power? Or are you and Tom Cruise shacking up together to discuss the fallacies of modern psychology.

Thank you for reminding us how people treated the ill back in the 1800's.

Addiction is a matter of willpower (3, Insightful)

GuloGulo (959533) | more than 5 years ago | (#25527315)

Addiction is a matter of willpower. Find me an addict who has kicked and stayed clean for a length of time who doesn't directly reference their own willingness to quit as a determinant.

That doesn't mean it's only about willpower, but your claim simply has no merit.

Re:Addiction is a matter of willpower (1)

Chyeld (713439) | more than 5 years ago | (#25527421)

Did you have troble with the meaning of the word 'merely' in my post or were you in such a hurry tripping over yourself to get in a word that you missed it?

And find me someone who's kicked their heroin addiction purely on the basis of will power. Someone who won't feel the craving the rest of their life, not just someone who's learned to fight it.

You made my point and ruined your own (1)

GuloGulo (959533) | more than 5 years ago | (#25529835)

"Someone who won't feel the craving for the rest of their life, not just someone who's learned to fight it"

So you're saying I won't be able to find anyone who was able to kick their addiction without requiring the willpower to fight it daily?

I know that, thanks for making my point.

As to the "merely", its presence doesn't make your point less wrong, nor mine less correct.

Why are you getiing pissy just because I proved you wrong? It's very childish.

Re:You made my point and ruined your own (1)

Chyeld (713439) | more than 5 years ago | (#25530037)

I take that to mean that you had trouble with the meaning of merely since if you understood it you would have realized that your argument has zip to do with what I said.

Here's a hint. When someone is saying sarcastically: "Are you one of those people who assume that addiction is merely a matter of will power?" in the tone that indicates someone saying yes is to be derided. That is a good clue that the person speaking believes that overcoming addiction requires more than simple willpower. Not that the person believes that willpower is irreverent.

But hey, don't let a lack of reading comprehension inhibit your posting. I'm sure to you spouting off is a bit of an addition in itself.

Re:Depressed astronauts? (4, Informative)

frieko (855745) | more than 5 years ago | (#25527477)

As a depression patient I can say long-term space travel includes basically all the known triggers to depression - stress, isolation, sleep deprivation, lack of sunlight. And there's problem-solving steps you can do to migigate each of these.

The standard treatment for depression is medicine AND therapy. There might be room on board for a bottle of Lexapro but not for Counselor Troi. So that's the aspect they're working on. I don't see anything outdated about what they're doing.

Re:Depressed astronauts? (2, Funny)

Kratisto (1080113) | more than 5 years ago | (#25528177)

I can say long-term college enrollment includes basically all the known triggers to depression - stress, isolation, sleep deprivation, lack of sunlight. And there's problem-solving steps you can do to mitigate each of these.

Namely, switching out of an engineering major.

Re:Depressed astronauts? (1)

Sockatume (732728) | more than 5 years ago | (#25528213)

This seems like a good time to bring up the movie Sunshine, not because it was a rip-roaringly accurate psychological exploration (premise: 50 years from now a group of astronauts set out to drop a bomb to restart the sun) but because they spent a lot of time asking NASA about their ideas for prolonged space travel. Apparently they want large personnel spaces on board, because the effect on sanity hugely outweighs the excess mass (materials used goes up with about root two over three of the empty space added, I think). And mundane things like making the crew prepare their own meals as a group were emphasised as a way of ensuring team cohesion.

FWIW the movie itself suggested taking along a highly qualified psychologist and a sort of augmented reality room to give the crew temporary pre-recorded "trips" to Earth, which was plausable given NASA's idea of balancing vehicle mass and crew sanity. Mind you it also advocated equipping the medical bay with deadly reciprocating scalpels.

Re:Depressed astronauts? (1)

Chyeld (713439) | more than 5 years ago | (#25528371)

I don't see anything outdated about what they're doing.

Nor do I, which is why my post was a response to someone poo pahing the idea [slashdot.org] and not to the idea itself.

Re:Depressed astronauts? (1)

frieko (855745) | more than 5 years ago | (#25529643)

My bad. Didn't notice the "Re:"

Re:Depressed astronauts? (1)

yttrstein (891553) | more than 5 years ago | (#25529605)

Maybe this whole pill-popping culture could give astronauts a miss on this one, eh? A pilot on lexapro at the helm of a space shuttle on re-entry is almost as disturbing as a president on lexapro at the helm of the executive branch.

Re:Depressed astronauts? (1)

frieko (855745) | more than 5 years ago | (#25529785)

Yeah, they basically pick the healthiest people on earth for space travel, mentally and physically. But I think a few years of space travel could drive anybody a little crazy.

Re:Depressed astronauts? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#25530179)

I don't see anything outdated about what they're doing.

Tip: when the post you are replying to includes a "parent" button, click it, and see if they're replying to a post or the summary/article. It might prevent you from looking kind of dumb.

Re:Depressed astronauts? (4, Insightful)

Vellmont (569020) | more than 5 years ago | (#25527089)


Wake up whenever you want. Get fed at regular intervals. The only job requirement is that you show a modicum of glee when your owner is around. What does a dog get depressed about?

Dogs are not people (or specifically, not you) and they don't share what you out of life. The breeds we have were bred for certain jobs like herding, hunting, or killing vermin. In general they weren't bred to be companion dogs. They desperately want to do this job and without that fulfillment, they have problems. I don't know if that specifically can cause depression, but I could see it.

I guess my point is, without actually having BEEN a dog or an Astronaut on a space station, it's difficult to know exactly what they go through. So I wouldn't be so quick to judge.

Re:Depressed astronauts? (1)

NeoSkandranon (515696) | more than 5 years ago | (#25527639)

I don't know if depression is the right word, but I guess it's possible--when a working dog is kept from doing its "job" or getting exercise it could develop any of a whole range of problems.

Putting a dog on antidepressants sounds like fixing a symptom rather than what's really wrong with the animal.

Re:Depressed astronauts? (1)

Chyeld (713439) | more than 5 years ago | (#25528757)

And it's use in humans is not? Sometimes fixing the problem isn't practical or something that we know how to do, sometimes the best you can do is work to make the situation manageable and bearable.

Re:Depressed astronauts? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#25529637)

Dogs are not people (or specifically, not you)

Are you sure??? http://www.cartoonbank.com/item/22230

Re:Depressed astronauts? (1)

speroni (1258316) | more than 5 years ago | (#25527339)

One thing that I know causes depression, or attributes to depression anyway, is just plain old exercise.

If you are a very active person, out in the sun running or doing whatever else, and then you have inactivity forced upon you, injury, too much work, being stuck in a tiny shuttle hundreds of thousands of miles from earth, or even locked in a cage while your master goes to work, the lack of endorphins can trigger depression. I know depression in general is more complex than that, but once I noticed this pattern in my own life I learned how to be a lot happier.

I believe astronauts have special exercise equipment to help prevent too much atrophy, but it can't be the same as just being able to go for a run around the neighborhood.

Also, don't give your dog prozac. Take him for more walks or find a way to fulfill his breeds work nature, barring that find a family who can.

Re:Depressed astronauts? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#25527763)

I don't condone giving Prozac to dogs but point out that it happens often enough now that there's even a cutesy little name for dogs on antidepressants.

My dogs don't give me the choice of letting them sit and become depressed. One in particular is a pomeranian cross American eskimo who's favorite thing is to go for hour long walks.

Re:Depressed astronauts? (1)

prennix (1069734) | more than 5 years ago | (#25528335)

I'd imagine sympathy from you isn't what they are looking for. Depression does have an effect on work output, so there is good reason to find a fix. The dog on the other hand may have behavioral issues that manifest with depression, which could be caused by medical issues. If the behavioral issues (I dunno, peeing in the house, chewing off it's own fur, etc) bother the owner and the dog, seems reasonable to deal with it. The bottom line is depression isn't always situational, and even when it is, there's no sense in wallowing in it or ignoring it if we want a happy dog at home or a productive scientist in space.

Re:Depressed astronauts? (1)

cong06 (1000177) | more than 5 years ago | (#25530023)

Honestly, Depression (which it seems everyone failed to grasp) is more about chemical imbalances, and genetics in some cases then their lifestyle.

That's what anti-depressants are for, to counteract the imbalance.

THX-1138 (1)

retech (1228598) | more than 5 years ago | (#25526683)

"Yes, I understand.... can you be more... specific?"

Re:THX-1138 (1)

fuzzyfuzzyfungus (1223518) | more than 5 years ago | (#25528123)

"Work hard. Increase production. Prevent accidents."

omg/wrist (0, Flamebait)

jonas_sten (1330435) | more than 5 years ago | (#25526727)

my job sux because i dont meet new people baaaaaaaaw :(

Companionship (3, Insightful)

chill (34294) | more than 5 years ago | (#25526745)

How about just flying up the occasional prostitute for "group therapy"? They could do what they do with astronauts and rotate which country she is from, etc.

Re:Companionship (3, Interesting)

Drakkenmensch (1255800) | more than 5 years ago | (#25526801)

NASA has a known hardline anti-sex policy... perhaps it's time they start rethinking that approach. Are they expecting to send a group of people on a six month mars mission (with the worst case scenario that they may never return) and think that sex won't happen? It is, after all, one of the greatest joys in life.

Re:Companionship (1)

mrops (927562) | more than 5 years ago | (#25527113)

I think online gaming would be excellent for someone feeling lonely and depressed. I have played my share of online games, have community friends. For the duration that I'm playing, it feels as if I am not in my mom's basement and out there, with friends.

After all, my mom's policy on sex in the house is similar to that of NASA, albeit in space.

Re:Companionship (1)

dkf (304284) | more than 5 years ago | (#25527555)

I think online gaming would be excellent for someone feeling lonely and depressed.

The ping times in space are absolutely terrible, due to the finite speed of light and the large distances involved. (For example, the light-delay to Mars varies - due to the differing orbits - between 3.1 and 22.5 minutes! Or so Google claims.)

They'd be better off having a LAN party.

Interplanetary lag (2, Insightful)

NotQuiteReal (608241) | more than 5 years ago | (#25527601)

The lag one would have in a spacecraft to Mars would make me even more depressed.

Re:Companionship (3, Insightful)

Chyeld (713439) | more than 5 years ago | (#25527197)

Yeah, that's just what we need.

One fuck up in contraception and all the sudden you've got the first interstellar birth with a kid that's doomed to spend the rest of their life on another planet, the mom and/or it doesn't die. You want to think about how hard it is to get baby vomit out of instrumentation?

Or are we going to try the Chinese route and sterlize everyone going up? I'm sure that'll help the ranks of volunteers swell.

Or hey! Here's an idea, shove the possibility of romance related tensions into missions where people are already going to be living almost right on top of each other. I'm sure between the stress of the mission, the complete lack of privacy, and love triangles there couldn't possibly be anything that could go wrong there.

After Lisa Hardwick flipped out over her relationship issues on the ground, you really think NASA has enough of a pulse on their people that they can pick the right group that won't snap up there?

Re:Companionship (1)

uberjoe (726765) | more than 5 years ago | (#25527625)

My parents fucked up in contraception, and I was doomed to spend the rest of my life on earth. Do kids really care where they are born? It's all they know.

Also I'll take a note from the late Arthur C Clarke, all astronauts were required to be sterilized before any space missions. So there wouldn't be any problems with babies and high radiation in space. If any astronauts wanted to have kids after the mission they would need to have some eggs and sperm frozen beforehand.

Not the chinese, but the island method (1)

way2trivial (601132) | more than 5 years ago | (#25527783)

The islands of lesbos and sapphos prerrably

an all woman crew nips the pregancny thing in the bud- and purportedly women are better suited for space travel than men anyway.

and if it happens, well, think of the ancillary rights!

Re:Companionship (1)

garett_spencley (193892) | more than 5 years ago | (#25527793)

"Or are we going to try the Chinese route and sterlize everyone going up? I'm sure that'll help the ranks of volunteers swell."

Obviously I can't speak for anyone else, but I think that's a great idea and wouldn't affect my willingness to volunteer at all. Choice A) Go into space vs. Choice B) stay here and be a slave to a family for the rest of my life ... hmmmm ... tough one!

There's lots of people who give up family voluntarily for careers and I also think that for a lot of people the dream of space exploration outweighs the dream of having kids.

Re:Companionship (1)

lxs (131946) | more than 5 years ago | (#25528009)

Great! Hopefully he will get rescued and raised by Martians and return to Earth to start a sex cult.

Re:Companionship (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#25529669)

Or hey! Here's an idea, shove the possibility of romance related tensions into missions where people are already going to be living almost right on top of each other. I'm sure between the stress of the mission, the complete lack of privacy, and love triangles there couldn't possibly be anything that could go wrong there.

Sounds like the next reality show!

Re:Companionship (1)

dontmakemethink (1186169) | more than 5 years ago | (#25530103)

The simple thing to do is just keep them occupied with more duties so you can control their...

*****SPACE*****

***MADNESS***

Re:Companionship (1)

CarneAzada (1382153) | more than 5 years ago | (#25527203)

So does the Catholic church, and look what happened...

Re:Companionship (1)

Verdatum (1257828) | more than 5 years ago | (#25529833)

NASA has a known hardline anti-sex policy? Says who? Just a quick Google search brought up this article [space.com] saying "Lawrence Palinkas, a professor of social work, anthropology and preventive medicine at UCLA...said there "is no official policy" at NASA regarding sex on space missions. "There really has been no research conducted on the area to know whether it [sex in space] would be a good thing or a bad thing," he said, "but it probably is inevitable.""

The only thing I've ever known NASA to declare is that they don't intend to experiment with human sexuality in space, and they don't intend to comment on any sexual encounters that have or will take place.

Re:Companionship (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#25530017)

Nasa has no policy for or against sex... as they put it "we just don't talk about it"

Re:Companionship (1)

CarneAzada (1382153) | more than 5 years ago | (#25526821)

"Group therapy" as in group sex? Because that's what it sounds like. Care to clarify this?

Re:Companionship (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#25526979)

Surely it would be cheaper to send up a few RealDoll's, lubricant & a silicone repair kit!

Re:Companionship (1)

Hoi Polloi (522990) | more than 5 years ago | (#25527047)

Simpler solution, on board Real Dolls.

You don't want some angry pimpnaut flying up to kick your ass do you?

Re:Companionship (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#25527571)

thats only going ot make it more frustrating due to the fact that the average male cant get up enough blood pressure in zero g to perform.

Re:Companionship (1)

Andr T. (1006215) | more than 5 years ago | (#25527613)

I remembered this comic [jsayers.com] . In fact, the Problem-solving robot [jsayers.com] would work just as good.

Joy Joy Feelings (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#25526785)

The response will be: You are an incredibly sensitive man, who inspires joy joy feelings in all those around you.

Re:Joy Joy Feelings (1)

r_benchley (658776) | more than 5 years ago | (#25526905)

Great reference! Demolition Man is one of my great guilty pleasure movies.

EMACS- what problem can't it solve? (3, Funny)

tunabomber (259585) | more than 5 years ago | (#25526807)

M-x doctor [emacswiki.org] always did it for me.

Re:EMACS- what problem can't it solve? (1)

sgt scrub (869860) | more than 5 years ago | (#25526935)

Eliza is a tease

Re:EMACS- what problem can't it solve? (3, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#25527287)

Why do you think that Eliza is a tease?

Re:EMACS- what problem can't it solve? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#25529755)

Perfect! M-x psychoanalyze-pinhead. Love it!!

helpful release (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#25526873)

just install a glory hole...will fix all there problems.

internet access in space? (1)

NynexNinja (379583) | more than 5 years ago | (#25526965)

do they have access to the internet up there? If they don't, that might partly explain their boredom/depression issues...

Quick, cheap, and easy alternative (4, Funny)

Rob T Firefly (844560) | more than 5 years ago | (#25526967)

Write the following on sticky notes and place them around the ship:

CHEER UP, EMO ASTRONAUTS!
You have the coolest freaking job in the whole damn stupid world.
Untold thousands of nerds would do anything to get where you are, but the closest they'll ever get are sewing together their own Star Trek uniforms.
Get over your damn selves, and get back to being awesome.

Re:Quick, cheap, and easy alternative (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#25527189)

I don't think people shouting "buhbuhbuh SPACE!" realise the implications of spending years physically isloated from the rest of civilisation and trapped in the single most claustrophobic environment in the galaxy...

Re:Quick, cheap, and easy alternative (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#25527249)

I don't think people shouting "buhbuhbuh SPACE!" realise the implications of spending years physically isloated from the rest of civilisation and trapped in the single most claustrophobic environment in the galaxy...

You must have missed the part where the poster mentioned they were Trekkies.

I swear I read this as "Depressurized Astronauts" (3, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#25526971)

and I thought, "Geez, that's nice of em, but..."

Computerized Solace? (4, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#25527037)

This really just sounds like a fancy name for porn.

Re:Computerized Solace? (1)

Mark Programmer (228585) | more than 5 years ago | (#25528563)

You can get computerized Solace, but I'm pretty sure it's only for Mac. [mofunzone.com]

Re:Computerized Solace? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#25530193)

This really just sounds like a fancy name for porn.

It sounds like a fancy name for Freecell.

Right.... (2, Insightful)

argStyopa (232550) | more than 5 years ago | (#25527131)

" the project, sponsored by the National Space Biomedical Research Institute, a recorded video therapist guides astronauts through a widely used depression therapy called 'problem-solving treatment.'""

On Earth, we just call it porn.

Re:Right.... (2, Funny)

gstoddart (321705) | more than 5 years ago | (#25527621)

On Earth, we just call it porn.

Yeah, but in space you'd have to design an entire device for collection so you don't have spooge floating around the space station. That'd likely foul up some equipment somewhere.

I'm pretty sure the logistics of a micro-gravity wank in an enclosed space with sensitive equipment is far more challenging than simply giving the astronauts porn. :-P

Cheers

One Word (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#25527247)

Teledildonics

Naw, drugs (2, Interesting)

smchris (464899) | more than 5 years ago | (#25527251)

Worked in Outland. Just remember to put on your helmet.

Or wall-projected golf and a nightclub.

Despite the "world's coolest job" posts, I'm more on the Philip K. Dick side that thinks months in a can will truly suck and they'll have ad agencies lying through their teeth to get people up to the mining colonies.

Wait until it starts singing (1)

Hoi Polloi (522990) | more than 5 years ago | (#25527275)

When it starts singing "Daisy" then it is time to abandon ship.

Reminds me of a story about Apollo astronauts (3, Insightful)

Darth_brooks (180756) | more than 5 years ago | (#25527283)

I remember hearing a story about several of the Apollo astronauts experiencing problems with depression. I guess after walking on the freaking moon, making gravy train money on the lecture circuit doesn't give you the same sense of accomplishment.

I guess in this case Willy Wonka was full of shit. Getting everything you want in life doesn't always lead to "happily ever after"

Re:Reminds me of a story about Apollo astronauts (1)

Ogive17 (691899) | more than 5 years ago | (#25527673)

Let's say at age 35 you go on the greatest adventure ever, and the rest of your life is spent talking about it.. You start to realize that your life is nothing but downhill from there.... How do you top going to space and walking on the moon??!?!? Not only that, but you have to relive it every day for the rest of your life. And you share that experience with people who will never be there, only a handful of people on the planet know what you're talking about.

That would depress me to some extent.

Robot psychiatrist ... (1)

PPH (736903) | more than 5 years ago | (#25527285)

... named Marvin.

Re:Robot psychiatrist ... (1)

SolitaryMan (538416) | more than 5 years ago | (#25528449)

Here I am, brain the size of planet, doing psychiatry for a bunch of freaks...

Sun shine. (1)

underpenguin (1094689) | more than 5 years ago | (#25527291)

This will be useful when we have to fly into the sun to reignite it.

response (2, Funny)

Verdatum (1257828) | more than 5 years ago | (#25527305)

I see...And how does Depressed Astronauts Getting Computerized Solace make you feel?

They should use open source software for this. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#25527583)

Such as m-x doctor!

"I'm feeling depressed."

"Are you depressed often?"

"Yes, because I'm in a godforsaken wasteland."

"Is it because you are in a godforsaken wasteland that you came to me?"

"Uh, yes."

"Why do you say uh yes?"

"..."

"Can you elaborate on that?"

Cheaper, and wonderfully effective!!!

Well, that's unique.. (1)

Lord Byron II (671689) | more than 5 years ago | (#25527681)

This is first time I've seen the dupe post actually link to the original.

NASA cant afford to put people into space, but (1)

Phizzle (1109923) | more than 5 years ago | (#25527693)

NASA cant afford to put people into space, but continues to dump money into frivolous research like this? Russia for the longest time focused on making sure that people prone to depression didnt get into space in the first place, they get weeded out during academy training. Its interesting how US is unable to maintain its space program despite its high tech, and yet Russia "putts" along using their "unsofisticated" means. I've been through NASA recently on business and I got to tell you, the place needs a ducheing, it smells like the 60s in there, and the oversight free, spend cash like there is no tomorrow on dead end unnecessary projects kick started within the entrenched cronyism system has got to end.

easy....let them play WoW when the need to unstres (1)

hesaigo999ca (786966) | more than 5 years ago | (#25527721)

WoW is the greatest game ever, let them play this game, and I guarantee you they will never be depressed.

Re:easy....let them play WoW when the need to unst (1)

Kandenshi (832555) | more than 5 years ago | (#25528921)

Sure, but they'll also suffer about a 40% drop in efficiency ratings.

some form of internet hookup (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#25528545)

box of kleenex, and an hours privacey. thats all there is to it.

oh yeah baby (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#25529173)

Bow Chicka Bow Wow!

The problem is of personality (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#25529363)

I think the biggest problem might be that astronauts tend to be social people. Even the lone wolfs like having friends and/or family around. Going out, doing things, etc... They are part of society and taking them out of that makes them depressed.

What they really need to do get some antisocial astronauts. These would go on these missions solo because being around other people on a mission team would be more depressing than being away from humanity. I guess the main problem would be having to follow orders. That would be depressing too.

Man, I could do it easy. I could go months or years with little to no human contact.

Would that be a quantum of solace? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#25530199)

Would that be a quantum of solace?

dang, de dang dang, dang dang dang
dang, de dang dang, dang dang dang
dang, de dang dang, dang dang dang...

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