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785 comments

Suicide? (5, Funny)

catbertscousin (770186) | more than 5 years ago | (#26279807)

It's a Stand Alone Complex!

Re:Suicide? (5, Funny)

retyurecvb (1442035) | more than 5 years ago | (#26279907)

My Zune was among the affected. In my defense, I got it from a fire sale for 50 dollars, so either way, no big loss. Farewell, sweet PMP, you were taken from us too zune.

Re:Suicide? (4, Insightful)

Poltras (680608) | more than 5 years ago | (#26280073)

Except that, if it had been a Creative Zen or an iPod, you'd still have it to play your favorite music. No big loss? Come on... You now HAVE to buy a new one.

And here's to Microsoft recognizing the problem (they didn't yet) and fixing it.

Re:Suicide? (2, Interesting)

retyurecvb (1442035) | more than 5 years ago | (#26280157)

No big loss?

I'm the type who obsessively backs up all my data just in case of shit like this, so until I find a suitable replacement, I'll still have my laptop to play my favourite music on. 50 dollars = no big loss. Rest assured, though, it will be a cold day in hell before I purchase another consumer electronics device from Microsoft.

Re:Suicide? (0)

badasscat (563442) | more than 5 years ago | (#26280269)

I'm the type who obsessively backs up all my data just in case of shit like this, so until I find a suitable replacement, I'll still have my laptop to play my favourite music on. 50 dollars = no big loss.

Wait, you back your data up *from* your Zune *to* your laptop? Something seems a little backwards there.

Anyway, you didn't just lose $50 - you lost $50 plus the cost of eventual replacement, which you shouldn't have needed. The only way you've only lost $50 is if you never replace your broken Zune.

Problem identified: LEAP YEAR (5, Informative)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26280273)

Day 365 has passed and this is day 366. This has happened before. This will happen again. All will be well tomorrow.

Thank you,
Microsoft Zune PM

FP (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26279809)

I, for one, welcome our brown rope overlords, such as the one I just left in the men's room.

BZOD (5, Funny)

Subm (79417) | more than 5 years ago | (#26279825)

Blue Zune Of Death!

3 bit years should be enough for anyone. (4, Funny)

jellomizer (103300) | more than 5 years ago | (#26279829)

I guess they just allocated a 3 bit year, in their systems (starting year 2000). Hey who would think there would still have Zunes around b 2009.

Re:3 bit years should be enough for anyone. (5, Interesting)

Svippy (876087) | more than 5 years ago | (#26280215)

I guess they just allocated a 3 bit year, in their systems (starting year 2000). Hey who would think there would still have Zunes around b 2009.

I think your issue may more likely be a leap year issue, with the Zune calculating the length of the year in seconds, but did not take into account that 2008 is one day longer because of 29 February.

Which would explain why they are failing before new year's, rather than after.

contagious? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26279831)

I thrown mine through the Window(r) before it could infect me!

Real mature (1, Insightful)

alx5000 (896642) | more than 5 years ago | (#26279835)

It's already kind of lame when someone spells it M$ or Micro$oft in a comment but... in the summary? Childish much?

Re:Real mature (1, Informative)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26279867)

Not to mention I doubt it's a 30 megabyte player. More like gigabyte. Lame.

Re:Real mature (5, Funny)

jellomizer (103300) | more than 5 years ago | (#26279987)

That is a common mistake that anyone who is older then 30 years can do. Dag Nabbit, Back in my day I would have pined for a 30 megabyte music player. We had to use instruments fashioned out on animal hides and termite infested wood. Then pay from memory the music. And it never sounded as good as you remembered it.

Re:Real mature (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26280241)

Well, no wonder no one has a Zune!
Gosh darn Microsoft trying to push a 30Mb DRM music player in 2008... *grumble grumble*

Re:Real mature (0, Flamebait)

mikael (484) | more than 5 years ago | (#26280085)

Microsoft is a registered multi-national corporation. Corporations have the stated of goal of making aa profit or $$$$. In the case of Microsoft, the goal is to make a profit by requiring people to upgrade their OS and application software in "big bangs" eg. Windows 95 to Windows 98, Windows 98 to Windows XP, Windows XP to Windows Vista, and so on... Therefore it is perfectly fair to call them Micro$oft. Ad they do call their multi bug fix patches "Service packs". Then they are proposing that people pay to use their applications by the hour (for students doing their homework or for game-players playing games).

Re:Real mature (1)

madhatter256 (443326) | more than 5 years ago | (#26280167)

Dude, it's still immature and childish and shows how uneducated you really are about life in general when anyone mentions MS with M$.

This 90s joke is old. Get over it people!

Re:Real mature (1)

FortKnox (169099) | more than 5 years ago | (#26280211)

I could use the same rationalization as to why I called kids names when I was in elementary school... but when you become an adult, you tend to realize that calling people/companies names is entirely juvenile and makes you come across as a tool.

But, hey, if you want to come across as an ass, by all means... just don't try to rationalize it to me.

Re:Real mature (3, Funny)

larry bagina (561269) | more than 5 years ago | (#26280253)

You ate a McDonald's Big Mac once. It's well known that their minimum wage employees occasionally jack off into the secret sauce. So it's perfectly fair to call you a cum guzzling jiz mop.

Get used to it. micro$oft sucks. (0, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26280139)

If you bash 'microsoft' you run the risk of being sued for any number of things if the lawyers decide to go after you for something.

If you bash 'micro$oft' the risk goes down. And it really points out that they are a greedy shit company who doesnt give a damm about the end user and only cares about the money.

It fits perfectly.

Article summary (4, Insightful)

phasm42 (588479) | more than 5 years ago | (#26279837)

Micro$oft 30Mb Zune

Nice to see the editors are on the job.

Re:Article summary (4, Insightful)

d3ac0n (715594) | more than 5 years ago | (#26280009)

Indeed.

How does crap like this make it to the front page?

Can we get an edit on the summary? Not only are there spelling mistakes, but the summary is just flat wrong about how Microsoft is reacting to the problem.

Look, I have issues with Microsoft as much as the next geek, but this summary is just moronic and childish. Can we get a fix please?

Re:Article summary (1)

Spad (470073) | more than 5 years ago | (#26280017)

Sad thing is, it was the best of the summaries that I saw on the firehose.

Is this a troll? (5, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26279841)

30mb Zune? Micro$oft? Go back to /b/ CmdrTaco

WTF is this Slashdot (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26279981)

I have mod points, but am posting "anonymously". Yet somehow I cannot moderate my anonymous post...

30Mb Zune Players? (1)

Golgothaa86 (948550) | more than 5 years ago | (#26279843)

>There are multiple reports springing up all over the internet of a mass suicide of Micro$oft 30Mb Zune players globally.

Well, if people are still using 30Mb players, they should get with the times. OH WAIT, Typo in the summary.

I don't usually complain about summaries... (5, Insightful)

Enoxice (993945) | more than 5 years ago | (#26279845)

...but it doesn't tell me what's happening, sounds sensationalist, and actually uses "Micro$oft" - who types that???

Re:I don't usually complain about summaries... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26279927)

Absolutely noone here on the very professional Slashdot forum would ever use such a derogatory expression.

Re:I don't usually complain about summaries... (3, Interesting)

Rary (566291) | more than 5 years ago | (#26280011)

...but it doesn't tell me what's happening, sounds sensationalist, and actually uses "Micro$oft" - who types that???

It also claims that the reports are spreading to everywhere except the official Zune site, but the forums on the official Zune site have these reports as well. Apparently the article submitter would expect Microsoft to put a massive panic-filled announcement on the front page: "OH NOES TEH ZUNE$ ARE ALL TEH SUX0RZ!!!11!ELEVEN"

Basically, a few people are having problems with one particular Zune. Some on the forum have fixed it themselves, and I couldn't help but notice that at least a few of them are refurbished models.

Cue the predictions of Microsoft's imminent demise, only here on SlashFUD.

who types that? (0, Troll)

twitter (104583) | more than 5 years ago | (#26280103)

Someone with a 30 mb Zune and you can bet their next player is not going to be from M$.

Re:I don't usually complain about summaries... (1)

Trailer Trash (60756) | more than 5 years ago | (#26280203)

...but it doesn't tell me what's happening, sounds sensationalist, and actually uses "Micro$oft" - who types that???

You must be new here...

Re:I don't usually complain about summaries... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26280207)

...but it doesn't tell me what's happening, sounds sensationalist, and actually uses "Micro$oft" - who types that???

You do apparently.

re (5, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26279849)

Let me know when one commits homicide. That will be news.

Re:re (2, Funny)

geckipede (1261408) | more than 5 years ago | (#26279963)

You just need a few tens of thousands of them stacked together so they can use their wireless as a directional maser array. More than that would be needed against a target that takes less than 24 hours to move out of range.

"I blam my mother for this" (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26279851)

"All I heard growing up was 'You should've been an iPod like your father.' It's not my fault she was a dirty WinMo PDA!"

Gotta hand it to MicroSoft (5, Funny)

larry bagina (561269) | more than 5 years ago | (#26279859)

They've successfully dispelled the rumor that no own owns a Zune.

Re:Gotta hand it to MicroSoft (5, Funny)

Chris Mattern (191822) | more than 5 years ago | (#26279937)

...and replaced it with the rumor that no one owns a *working* Zune.

Zune is now a sitcom punchline (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26279959)

From earlier this season on NBC's Chuck:

Chuck: "Morgan, hey, uh, buddy do we carry any Rush CDs in the store?"
Morgan: "No need, I got'em all on my Zune."
Chuck: "You have a Zune?"
Morgan: "Are you kidding me? No. No, I'll grab my iPod."

Re:Gotta hand it to MicroSoft (1)

mfh (56) | more than 5 years ago | (#26280237)

They've successfully dispelled the rumor that no own owns a Zune.

The only thing I wanna know is... CAN they get BILL GATES to drink the ZUNE KOOLAID? Make an advert about it and Jerry Seinfeld can do the eulogy. Of course, no Bill Gates would be actually hurt during the ad, but this kind of commercial would follow the existing MSFT advert model.

30 Mb? (1)

neuromanc3r (1119631) | more than 5 years ago | (#26279879)

30Mb Zune players globally

Wow, 30 Mb, that's like 1 Song...
And "globally" is a bit of a stretch, considering that these things are only sold in the US and Canada.

Re:30 Mb? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26280003)

didn't know you could get .flacs on zunes..

Value did get lost :( (5, Interesting)

sundarvenkata (1214396) | more than 5 years ago | (#26279887)

I turned on my Zune (bought for 90$ last year) today morning only to find it die a sad death with the hard disk humming in the highest pitch. I do not think the hard disk will survive 3 more hours of such grueling ordeal. I feel sorry for MSFT. Best of luck, guys.

Waitaminute, _who_'s the victim? (0, Redundant)

Sloppy (14984) | more than 5 years ago | (#26280105)

I feel sorry for MSFT.

In Soviet Russia, MSFT feels sorry for you.

Re:Value did get lost :( (5, Insightful)

Just Some Guy (3352) | more than 5 years ago | (#26280135)

I feel sorry for MSFT.

Really? You have a broken player and they have your money, but you feel bad for them?

$la$hdot, your be$t $ource for tech new$ (5, Funny)

kbrasee (1379057) | more than 5 years ago | (#26279905)

$top the pre$$e$, thi$ ju$t in -- $la$hdot ridicule$ Micro$oft!

Al$o I think $omeone me$$ed around with my keyboard driver$...

I heard a song about this once... (5, Funny)

eclectro (227083) | more than 5 years ago | (#26279955)

You don't need no entertainment
You dont need no Zune control
No dark sarcasm on the nets
People leave them Zunes alone
Hey! people! Leave them Zunes alone!
All in all it's just another brick in the wall.
All in all you're just another brick in the wall.

Re:I heard a song about this once... (1)

sherpajohn (113531) | more than 5 years ago | (#26280213)

Blue Zune
You saw me standing alone
Without a dream in my heart
Without a love of my own
Blue Zune
You know just what I was there for
You heard me saying a prayer for
Someone I really could care for

And then there suddenly appeared before me
The only one my arms will hold
I heard somebody whisper please adore me
And when I looked to the Zune it turned to $gold$

Blue Zune
Now Im no longer alone
Without a dream in my heart
Without a love of my own

And then there suddenly appeared before me
The only one my arms will ever hold
I heard somebody whisper please adore me
And when I looked the Zune had crashed and burned

Blue Zune
Now Im really alone
Without a dream in my heart
Without a love of my own

Blue Zune
Now Im really alone
Without a dream in my heart
Without a love of my own

Hey! Ballmer! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26280275)

Leave those chairs alone!

It's just another brick in the wall (1)

davidwr (791652) | more than 5 years ago | (#26280301)

A wall of dead tech gadgets.

Anyone want to re-create a scale model of The Berlin Wall made out of entertainment devices?

song parody (5, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26279957)

but something touched me deep inside...the day the 30 gigs died

I started singing "bye, bye MS 30 gig zune"
tried to download from the zune store but the zune store was dry
and the ms fanboys were drinking whiskey and rye
the day...the 30 gigs died

Re:song parody (4, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26280039)

I see the bad Zune arising.
I see trouble on the way.
I see blue screens and crashing
I see bad times today.

Dont turn it on tonight,
Well, its bound to take its life,
Theres a bad Zune on the rise.

Designed Obsolescence (4, Funny)

neo (4625) | more than 5 years ago | (#26279967)

Designed Obsolescence.

You didn't really think they'd support this thing through 2009 did you? Oh, go back and read your EULA. It clearly states that at the start of 2009 you'll have to pay a subscription fee for you unit to continue working. You signed it in blood from the paper cut. Legally binding in hell.

Suicide? Really? (2, Insightful)

Todd Fisher (680265) | more than 5 years ago | (#26279975)

So when my insides stop working correctly and I die that will be considered suicide?

Re:Suicide? Really? (1)

kbrasee (1379057) | more than 5 years ago | (#26280001)

Depends -- did you drink antifreeze or potassium chloride prior to this incident? If so then yes, I will consider it a suicide.

Leap Day... (5, Interesting)

Manip (656104) | more than 5 years ago | (#26279983)

This year has 366 days in it instead of the normal 365.

So if you did (365-day) you could end up with -1 which might cause either a crash or freeze.

Just one (likely) possible cause. If that is the case it should fix its self tomorrow.

Re:Leap Day... (1)

eclectro (227083) | more than 5 years ago | (#26280123)

If that is the case it should fix its self tomorrow.

Is the ghost of the programmer that Steve Balmer is gonna kill today going to come visit you in a dream tonight??

Can we say "Virus"? (-1, Troll)

Fished (574624) | more than 5 years ago | (#26279999)

This really sounds like a virus to me. Which is kind of pathetic... even Microsoft's iPod's get viruses.

Re:Can we say "Virus"? (2, Insightful)

Madthio (97016) | more than 5 years ago | (#26280093)

Never blame on malice that which can more simply be attributed to programming error. Occam's Razor, and all that.

Re:Can we say "Virus"? (1)

Kamokazi (1080091) | more than 5 years ago | (#26280163)

virus [vahy-ruhs] 4. a segment of self-replicating code planted illegally in a computer program, often to damage or shut down a system or network.

bug [buhg] 4. Informal. a defect or imperfection, as in a mechanical device, computer program, or plan; glitch.

Hmmm. Sounds like you're an idiot to me.

Re:Can we say "Virus"? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26280225)

This really sounds like a virus to me.

Sounds like a virus? This sounds like a software bug. Sorry, but the mass media has programmed you to think virus in the event of any software problem. Anyone who has ever worked with dates in programming can tell you that it isn't fun. DST, Leap Years, Timezones all make it really hard to write bugfree code.

The Fix (5, Informative)

lhaeh (463179) | more than 5 years ago | (#26280037)

According to Herman at gizmodo, this is the solution:

"Your zune will need a "hard reset."

To do this, use a small screwdriver to pop off the plastic shielding where the zune cable plugs into and remove the two screws on either side of the plug. Next pop the cover off and locate the battery plug at the top left corner of the zune, using your screw driver, pop the cable connection half way off, and do this to the other plug on the right side. Wait 3 seconds, then push down the right connector and then the left battery connecter. Your zune should start up immediately. Press the backing of the zune down (make sure headphone jack is aligned) and put the screws and cover back in place.

It's an easy process but if you're unsure don't attempt it if you think you'll screw it or something. :)"

Not pretty, but it might help those of you who have this problem.

According to others on the forum, it is caused by the new firmware, so you might not want to update it. Changing the clock might be a temporary fix if you want the new firmware.

Re:The Fix (4, Informative)

elrous0 (869638) | more than 5 years ago | (#26280191)

Actually, this only works if you never connect it to your computer again. Even if you don't update your firmware, just running the Zune software causes it to wig out again (probably has something to do with the clock sync).

Re:The Fix (5, Informative)

dcdruck (1442199) | more than 5 years ago | (#26280295)

According to Herman at gizmodo, this is the solution:

"Your zune will need a "hard reset."

To do this, use a small screwdriver to pop off the plastic shielding where the zune cable plugs into and remove the two screws on either side of the plug. Next pop the cover off and locate the battery plug at the top left corner of the zune, using your screw driver, pop the cable connection half way off, and do this to the other plug on the right side. Wait 3 seconds, then push down the right connector and then the left battery connecter. Your zune should start up immediately. Press the backing of the zune down (make sure headphone jack is aligned) and put the screws and cover back in place.

It's an easy process but if you're unsure don't attempt it if you think you'll screw it or something. :)"

Not pretty, but it might help those of you who have this problem.

According to others on the forum, it is caused by the new firmware, so you might not want to update it. Changing the clock might be a temporary fix if you want the new firmware.

According to several users in the Zune thread at Zune.net forums, even Zunes running original or other older firmware is affected.

If you were a Zune ... (2, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26280051)

Would you not want to commit Suicide ?

It's a firmware bug. (5, Informative)

Lumpy (12016) | more than 5 years ago | (#26280065)

I have 2 of them. 1 for hacking the other for my daughter. Her zune locked up, I went downstairs and dug out of the box the old zune that has never been updated. Yes date and time are pretty close to accurate.

MSFT drones mucked up the clock ocde in the firmware over the past year.

huh... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26280083)

weird..my ipod is working just fine.

Firmware Problem (5, Informative)

Kintanon (65528) | more than 5 years ago | (#26280095)

Zunes with older firmwares are unaffected, a hard reset will blow away the current firmware and get your Zune working again.
Already have the fix posted at The Tech Empire [techemperor.com]

Whoot, go me.

I have the same problem with my CRAPPLE I-POO-ed (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26280119)

It broke becau$e $teve Job$ i$ a fag just like COMMANDOR TACO

HELL YA

stick it to the man!

Such wit! I'm the new Dostoevsky for sure!

Zune 3.11 (5, Funny)

kbrasee (1379057) | more than 5 years ago | (#26280129)

If the Zune 3.1 firmware turns out to be the problem, then I assume the patched version will be Zune 3.11. Hey, this sounds familiar.

'Committed Suicide?' (4, Insightful)

clickclickdrone (964164) | more than 5 years ago | (#26280151)

Boy, this site has really started to slip, quality wise. The Zunes have failed, stopped working, anything but committed suicide. Jeez.
Have to say though, I'd hate to be MS Zune support at this point - most of the staff will be off or in serious party mood, not what you need when something this big happens.

Bailout? (4, Funny)

El Torico (732160) | more than 5 years ago | (#26280153)

So, how long before Microsoft has to beg to Congress for a bailout?
"No one will buy our products ever since the Zune Fiasco! Give us money! WA WA WA!"

Solution (0, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26280205)

Buy an iPod Touch v2, or an iPhone...

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