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Steve Jobs' Macworld Keynotes, 1998-2008

timothy posted more than 4 years ago | from the should-have-employed-a-turtleneck-cannon dept.

Businesses 108

Ian Lamont writes "The Industry Standard has put together a collection of video highlights from Steve Jobs' Macworld keynotes since his return to Apple in the late 1990s. It's interesting to watch. Jobs was basically able to turn tech product demonstrations into convincing consumer spectacles that made even the simplest product feature — such as the handle on the clamshell iBook — seem innovative and utterly desirable. And while his appearance changed greatly over the years (compare his 1998 iMac demonstration with his "iPod Mini" keynote in 2004, when he was reportedly trying to treat cancer with a special diet), his enthusiasm never waned. Of course, he may make appearances at Apple's WWDC or other events, but a Macworld expo with Phil Schiller headlining just won't be the same."

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Eat meat, Steve, eat meat !! (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#26294005)

Eat meat, Steve, eat meat !!

Re:Eat meat, Steve, eat meat !! (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#26294593)

I sat naked on the bench in the health club locker room, staring at the tiles on the floor between my feet, but really looking at nothing. I was waiting for Barack to decide to come up ant talk to me. He was this muscular middle-age nigger who frequented the club and had ruined my life in the last few weeks. I was ordered to sit naked on the bench without a towel or anything to cover my nakedness. I had to keep my legs spread and my cock and balls visible for the anyone In the locker room who wanted a look. I knew instantly that it had been a mistake to sign up at the inner city health club which was eighty percent black, but It was near my house and cheap which was even more important.

The harassment had started on my first visit. Dark skinned, muscular senate aides bouncing around the locker room with their huge dicks and pendulous sacks of balls swinging, high fiving each other and laughing and rapping, and there I was, this moderately built white guy of thirty two.

I will never forget coming back from the shower and one chocolate skinned thug of about eighteen let out a "weeeeeeeow" kind of sound and then said very loudly to me, loudly enough for all his pals to hear, "White man, how the hell can you fuck wit such a small dick?" They all roared with laughter and I turned bright red. Before I left that first time, I med Barack. He eased up to me while I was packing my gym bag. He is one good looking darkie, I will say that for him. He flashed me a big white toothed smile and said he hoped I wasn't thinking of quitting the club. He said he was friends with the manager and they had my address and shit, and it would be really unfortunate if I decided to quit. Then he laid one large basketball player sized hand on my shoulder and said that he would see me at the same time the next day.

Well, that's how it started. It got worse each time I went to the club. Barack and the other niggers got me to get towels for them, had me scrub their backs in the shower, even made me pick their dirty stinking jock straps up off the floor. They sent their filthy jocks and socks home with me to wash for them.

Now let me state here once and for all, that I am in no way at all gay. I don't think I ever even had a gay thought. So all of this really repulsed me. They would brush up against me so their big fat black dicks rubbed my body. They would make constant jokes about me being a faggot.

So I had it out with Barack. I told him I was a single parent with a thirteen year old daughter and in no way gay, and I wanted to quit the club. That mention of my daughter was the biggest mistake of my life. Barack demanded to see a photo of her. Her name is Crissy. After that, all they talked about was "Crissy the Cunt" in the locker room.

"Some congressman probably shoving his dick in her right now while you is at da club." They would say things like that. Barack would ask, "Do you suppose she had ever sucked black dick?" I told them she was totally innocent, and they should keep their foul mouths to themselves. They beat the shit out of me.

I didn't go to the club for a week. All the windows were broken on my car, and my newspaper was stolen, and somebody pissed all over our door. I received a package at work, and when I opened it, there was a pile of shit in a box. I was going nuts with anguish. I thought of going to the police, but I knew I would face even worse if I did. So I went back to the club. That was two months ago. A lot had happened in those two months.

Now I sat waiting for Barack to speak with me. He walked up, stark naked. The first thing I saw were his huge brown feet next to me. I looked up at his long muscular legs. How could I miss the seven inch flaccid dick, thick as a flashlight and the ball sack that looked like it had oranges in it. It was fucking obscene. His stomach was hard and tight. His ass was one of those round tight nigger bubble butts. His chest well defined with large nipples. He had a killer smile, thick nigger lips, and dark flashing eyes that often looked drugged.

"So, my man, how's that little dick of yours hangin'?"

I spread my legs wider so he could see my pathetic shriveled white prick and small ball sack. If I didn't keep myself on display for them at all times, they would have a wet towel snapping session where my scrotum was the target. It hurt like hell and was totally humiliating.

"So, bro, is everything set up for tomorrow?" He stood close to me...so close that his huge flaccid hunk of fuck meat brushed my shoulder. His dick was so huge, it was just fucking obscene, and that was in its flaccid state. He had not showered yet, and his body reeked of the nigger stink of his workout.

"Please. Please don't do this. I know I agreed, but that was after you had beaten me almost senseless. Please, isn't there some other way?"

He lifted one leg and put his foot on the bench next to me. His gigantic balls swung back and forth in their fleshy sack.

"Dere is no other fucking way, man. You don't wanna even think of what we gonna do to you next time you disobeys us. Dere is no other way. Now it so happens dat I needs me a new girlfriend, and your pretty little daughter fills da bill."

I felt my stomach turn over. I tried to relax, to breath deeply, but I felt like I was choking. This president elect nigger thug was talking about my daughter. My little Crissy. My thirteen year old angel. He had announced to me that he wanted her to become his girlfriend! Jesus Christ!

At first I had bluntly refused, letting my anger and disgust show. All the niggers in the club gathered around me, about fifteen of them, and Barack announced that I was racially prejudiced and didn't want him dating his white daughter. They started to slap and punch me.

"It's not that. Honest to God, I swear, it's not that you are black. It's that she is only thirteen. She's my innocent baby!"

Barack roared with laughter. "Any bitch of thirteen is totally ready for dick! She probably sucking da boys at school every day anyway by now." He looked at the photo of her which he had taken from me. "Yeah, she got real cocksucker lips, she shore do!"

"Oh God no, she's just a baby." I was crying in front of all of them.

"No, daddy, you gots it wrong. She is a babe...not a baby. Dat pretty little pussy is ready for some nigger popping!" Half the niggers surrounding me were getting hard ons, and I don't think there there was one under eight and a half inches.

For weeks I had argued, begged, pleaded, tried to bargain with Barack, but he only wanted one thing. My daughter's virgin pussy. Once I stood up to them and told them I would go to the police. They had dragged me naked and screaming into the health club bathroom and forced me to eat turds out of the toilet bowl. I was sick for two days. The next time I went to the club, Barack had made me suck his dick. That was the first time I saw it erect. Over twelve inches of throbbing leaking nigger cock. I had a panic attack and literally tried to run out of the club. They held me down on a bench and Barack fed me his black fuck meat. His balls almost suffocated me. His dick choked me. He even made me suck his ass. What could I do? I agreed to let them have my daughter. I know, I am an awful man. A sinner. It is unforgivable, but I am scared out of my wits.

"So, tomorrow, I comes over to yo house dressed up real good. You introduce me to yo bitch daughter. Now when I sees her, dis is how I wants her dressed. A very tight tee shirt dat says printed on it, "Obama" She will wear no bra under it so I can see the tips of her budding little titties through the material. Den she is to wear her nice pleated cheer leader skirt like in da photo, only I don want her to wear no panties under it. From now on, yo daughter is forbidden to ever wear any panties. We want dat fresh young cunt and ass ready and available at all times. I want you to have some really top drawer booze at yo house ready for me. I am not sure what I will want, so you better have enough to satisfy me, whatever my taste might be. Who da fuck knows, I may want a cosmo, or maybe some of dat Louis XIII Brandy dat costs three hundred dollars. You better have it all. After I has a drink, you pretty little bitch and I gonna sit on da couch and get acquainted. Dat means you as da daddy get to watch me finger her cunt and play wit her titties. You gets to see her meet my big fat old dick and even lick and suck it a little. I always insists on sex on da first date, cause how else you know how a bitch perform, right? Shit, I insist on sex on every date. I mean dat is da only reason for da fucking date..to plow some pussy! Right? Otherwise I'd rather hang wit da congressional black caucus. Now she gonna be a little uptight and scared at firs...right? Specially when she see my dick and she know dat huge motherfucker is gonna plow her virgin twat! Oh yea, if she got any hair on her cunt yet, you make sure she shave it all off before tomorrow. I wanna see bald thirteen year old pussy."

While he said all of this to me at the health club, his dick got thicker and thicker and long strings of pre-fuck started to hang from the fat pisshole.

"Please don't hurt her...please." I was shaking in my naked agony.

"Hurt her? No why the fuck would I hurt my new girlfriend? I gonna love her. I gonna show her da pleasures of lovemaking. Shore, it gonna hurt a little da first time I ram my twelve and a half inch motherfucking dick balls deep into her tight little teenage pussy. Shore it gonna hurt when I pounds her as hard as I can, and den pull out and shove it as hard as I can up her little asshole. Shore dat gonna hurt a little, but dat is jus' part of growin' up. A her daddy, you understand dat. Right? Better to hab some senator like me who wants her for his girlfriend fucking her, den every boy at school who don't give a shit about her.

"Now don't you worry, I gonna take her into the bedroom to fuck her cunt and ass. I think dat is private. I mean, you can watch da first time she suck my balls and lick my dick and such. But fucking is between a guy and his girlfriend. I wants you dere at the start...at the sucking part, cause she is gonna be scared like I say, and you can calm her. Tell her it is a natural part of life, and she just gotta learn to please a man. She, she shoulda learned dat couple of years ago already. She is a late bloomer.

Now I am gonna want to use her bedroom for da first fuck,cause I wants to fuck her little bitch body in her teenage bed, wit all her teenage shit around. It will be so hot. But den, I is moving into your master bedroom. You can sleep on da couch. I wants a nice big bed and luxury for future fucks. I gotta fuck at least three times a day, usually more. Now of course I still going to be bangin' other cunt, but I will fuck your daughter regularly cause she is my number one girlfriend. My special bitch. I ain't gonna introduce her to my bros until after I fuck her for a week or so. Den when she broken in, I gonna share her with all da boys from dis here health club. Dere about twenty of us here as you know, so she gonna be pretty busy sucking nigga dick and getting ass and cunt fucked. We gonna do mos' of it over at yo house. You have lots of food dere at all times fo my brothers when dey comes over to fuck your daughter. Since she be fucking most every day all day and night from now on, I suggest you apply to home school her. Dat way, she don't even need to think about school and she can concentrate on nigga cock all da time."

"Please, please use condoms...." I had tears running down my face.

Barack roared with laughter. "Condoms? Shit...no. We never use condoms. It ruins da fuck. Dat little bitch gonna be pregnant in a couple of weeks at mos'. You gonna be da grand daddy of a nigga chile! And who knows. She young. If she stay tight enough and cute enough, maybe we fuck her for three or four years, you know, pass her around, pimp her out. Shit, she still young enough. She could hab five or six nigga babies! We don' allow no abortions. She gonna breed. Now my brothers and daddy be comin' over lots to fuck her too, so you better have lots of keys to yo house made, or jus' leave the fucking place unlocked. She don't leave da house without permission. I would hate it for both of you if some black bro comes over for a good hard fuck, and she not dere! Now I know you worried about her. Don' be. After a few days of getting nigga dick, she gonna love it so much, dat all she gonna live for. I seen it in young white bitches lots of times. Someday she gonna thank you for all dis. I mean how many girls her age so lucky to get ten to fifteen black cocks a day? Long as her pussy and asshole hold up, she be happy. One thing, she gonna hab to be a really good cocksucker, cause One thig is dat when da boys in my hood meet up wit da republics to work on budget agreements...we got dis thing. We hab our girlfriends suck da cocks of all da members of the other party, as kind of a peace signal, you know, a sign dat we is kewl and everything is okay. So she gonna pretty much hab a dick in her mouth twenty-four seven for da next few months. She gonna be sucking on old white guy dick even when she getting fucked by my bros. Dis house gonna be pretty packed full of black boys! Now, after a bitch has sucked fifteen to twenty dicks a day, she often get a real tired jaw and swollen lips and a sore tongue, so you gonna have to tell her no matter how tired she get, da last dick of da day she suck, gets jus' as good a suck as da first one in da morning. You gotta make sue she understand that. I can't have no bad reports from dem rpublicans dat my bitch can't suck!

Now we gots one more problem. Da little bitch gonna be so busy getting fucked and sucking dick, she ain't gonna hab no proper time to clean up da dicks after dey fuck her cunt and ass! You know it da bitch's job to clean a dick wit her mouth after a brother fuck her. I mean, you can't expect a brother to walk around wit pussy slime or ass juice on his dick. But she gonna be so busy, she ain't always gonna hab time to clean up, so you my friend is going to have to step up to da plate to help her. You gonna be the official dick cleaner. You gonna lick and suck da dicks clean after dey fuck yo bitch of a daughter. I want you naked on you hands and knees at all times around da house, ready to lick and suck dick clean. And you gonna do a fine job too, I just know it. You get all dat stink off da cock. Maybe you can entertain da brothers waiting next in line to fuck yo daughter too by lickig dere balls and assholes. I never thought of dat until just now. Hot damn, dat is a good idea, ain't it? So dey don't get bored while dey waitin. And den, to keep your daughter fresh and tight, after every three or four fucks, you gonna crawl in and suck the nigga cum right outta her pussy and asshole. Think how great dat is. You gonna get to suck some thirteen year old pussy and asshole! How lucky is dat? You gonna clean out her cunt real good with yo tongue so it is ready for da next nigga.

We gonna be da happiest family you ever seen! Now come on, white boy, suck my dick, can't you see it dripping all over da floor?"

I put my mouth over the head of the huge leaking hunk of fuckmeat, and resigned myself and my daughter to our new destiny.

Re:Eat meat, Steve, eat meat !! (-1, Flamebait)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26296321)

Steve Jobs (born Steven Paul Jobs on February 24, 1955) is the CEO, chairman, and co-founder of Apple Inc., as well as the founder of cutting edge animation studio Pixar, thereby making him the dick to thank for a seemingly endless cavalcade of anthropomorphized machines, talking insects, and/or tow trucks voiced by Larry the Cable Guy.

Steve Jobs is a new school dick. In direct refutation of the traditional dick that still dominates both the business and academic worlds, Jobs masks his dickitude with a hip, user-friendly interface.

Along with Apple co-founder Steve Wozniak, Jobs helped popularize the personal computer in the late 1970s. He was also responsible for developing the mouse, an invention that not only revolutionized home computing, but also forced millions of men to switch over to left-handed masturbation.

Jobs is widely considered responsible for the Apple brandâ(TM)s sleek functionality. This has earned him a devoted, almost cult-like following, especially amongst two other new school dick populations: freelance graphic designers and adult-aged trust fund babies who have nothing better to do with their weekday afternoons than pack their iBooks into a messenger bag and head over to Ozzieâ(TM)s Coffee in Park Slope, Brooklyn, to continue working on the mission statement for yet another âoenon-profitâ theyâ(TM)re starting.

No matter how many PC users he manages to convert, Steve Jobs will always totally sweat Bill Gatesâ(TM) jock.

Early years

Steve Jobs began crafting stylishly elegant housing for his powerful egomania from the moment of his birth in San Francisco, the âoeGolden Dick City,â on February 24, 1955. He shares this birthday with fellow hipster hero Joe Lieberman, and Hollywood heartthrob Abe Vigoda.

Jobs grew up the son of a âoerepoâ man for a local âoefinanceâ company in Cupertino, California, a town whose other famous sons include one of the drummers for Primus and the guy who played head âoeterranautâ in that movie The Core, the 2003 sci-fi catastrophe that spelled the beginning of the end for Hilary Swank. Interestingly enough, Cupertino is not only home to the headquarters of Apple Inc., but also Symantec, Sun Microsystems, and other wannabe playas who wish they could techno-pimp half as big as Apple.

Unlike many Fortune 500 CEOs, Steve Jobs attended noted druggie school Reed College, where, sure enough, he became a druggie. Like many druggies, he got a job in video gaming. Then, he went on a pilgrimage to India, center of both mysticism and computer science. It was a spiritual journey that brought Jobs right back to Atari, where, possibly under the influence of LSD, he and Wozniak developed a souped-up version of Breakout, creatively called âoeSuper Breakout.â

Apple I

Jobs and Wozniak founded Apple Computer Co. in 1976 and introduced their first personal computer, the similarly creatively named Apple I, which they priced at $666.66, a number Wozniak is said to have arrived at because he liked repeating digits. Also, he is a Satanist. It was the computerâ(TM)s second iteration, Apple II: The Edge of Reason, that turned Apple into a publicly traded company, and Jobs into a multi-millionaire. However, it wasnâ(TM)t all IPOs and Orwellian TV commercials for Jobs, who was fired by the guy he had hired as Apple CEO just a year earlier. It takes a pretty big dick to get fired from your own company.

Intermission

Because John Ratzenberger wasnâ(TM)t getting enough voice work, Steve Jobs bought George Lucasâ(TM) computer graphics division, though unfortunately not before it could create Jar-Jar Binks. Renamed Pixar, the company produced several box office hits. Then Jobs sold it to The Walt Disney Company for $7.4 billion in stock, thus making him the single largest shareholder of the single largest dick corporation on earth.

Apple II

In 1996, Apple bought NeXT computers, another company Jobs founded, and within two years Jobs was back as Apple CEO. Many NeXT technologies found their way into Apple products, most importantly the development of the âoelowercase i,â which, when added to the beginning of any product name, will make people want to buy it.

Managerial style

As a CEO, Jobs is known for being a geek who likes to be feared, supposedly wielding firings as his weapon of choice. Though he proudly boasts the Guinness World Record for âoeLowest Paid Chief Executive Officer,â with a yearly salary of $1, thatâ(TM)s mostly so he can dick the IRS out of tens of millions of dollars. Maybe heâ(TM)s not so new school after all.

Personal Life

Although Jobs claims not to eat meat or poultry, he does occasionally eat fish. This type of vegetarian is known as a lazy hypocrite. Honors

In 2007, Steve Jobs was named Most Powerful Businessman by Fortune Magazine. If that dick distinctionâ"or âoedickstinctionââ"doesnâ(TM)t close the book on his dickishness, then what does? Oh, maybe this: less than a week and a half later, he was inducted into the California Hall of Fame. By Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Steve Job

A âoeSteve jobâ is slang for a sexual maneuver in which one partner reams the other with an iPhone until he or she finally gives in, heads down to the Apple Store, and shells out $500 for one.

Steve is dead. (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#26294089)

A homeless, street beggar told me he heard that Steve was dead. I believed him.

Re:Steve is dead. (1)

Anthony_Cargile (1336739) | more than 4 years ago | (#26294131)

Well at first it appeared that the tag was read as "rip steve" rather than the (hopefully implied) "R.I.P Steve" and I was a little scared, but yes apparently you are the one who tagged this because he is not _dead_ per se, just removing himself from the Mac scene a little (you can't expect him to completely leave what he loves/does best, now can you?)

Re:Steve is dead. (1)

Achromatic1978 (916097) | more than 5 years ago | (#26295905)

Well at first it appeared that the tag was read as "rip steve" rather than the (hopefully implied) "R.I.P Steve" and I was a little scared

Scared? Upset maybe, distressed, distraught. But scared? At what, what might happen to Apple? It's an odd day when one is scared for the sake of a multi-billion dollar corporation...

Re:Steve is dead. (1, Interesting)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26296075)

We've all seen what Apple is like without Steve. We don't want to see it again. He keeps bring out desirable products and that makes us happy. It also gives his opposition fits.

Re:Steve is dead. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26300295)

and where would we be without our false idols

Re:Steve is dead. (1)

bsDaemon (87307) | more than 5 years ago | (#26296515)

Spoken like one who's livelyhood/retirement is not tied up in their stock. But I don't own any Apple stock... the only Apple product I have is an iPod shuffle -- hardly a high-dollar item.

Re:Steve is dead. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26298241)

you can't expect him to completely leave what he loves/does best, now can you?

Depends how far down they went when they did his colostomy.

1997? (2, Informative)

Anthony_Cargile (1336739) | more than 4 years ago | (#26294093)

What about the one from 1997, when he came back from Apple after leaving/getting fired?

Re:1997? (4, Informative)

Anthony_Cargile (1336739) | more than 4 years ago | (#26294181)

Macworld Boston - that's the one. If the collection starts from 1998 then it must not include this one [youtube.com] .

More information: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steve_jobs#Return_to_Apple [wikipedia.org] (doesn't mention the keynote, but although the collection starts from 1998 he actually came back in 1996, announcing it in 1997 at Macworld Boston.)

Re:1997? (2, Insightful)

mike260 (224212) | more than 5 years ago | (#26295077)

Macworld Boston - that's the one. If the collection starts from 1998 then it must not include this one [youtube.com].

Lol, the spontaneous applause whenever anyone mentions directors resigning tells a story in itself.

Re:1997? (2, Informative)

CrackedButter (646746) | more than 5 years ago | (#26295167)

The one thats always missing is the one where he introduces the original Bondi Blue iMac, there is a 7 minute version on youtube but its not complete.

Re:1997? (0, Troll)

Bastard of Subhumani (827601) | more than 5 years ago | (#26298281)

he actually came back in 1996, announcing it in 1997

I'm surprised he didn't announce it two years in advance. After all, isn't that what they do with their products?

Re:1997? (1)

mike260 (224212) | more than 5 years ago | (#26299553)

Eh, no, not really.

In fact, they seem to strongly prefer to only announce products once they're ready to ship (or very nearly so), the sole exception I can think of being the OS.

Job's easy job... (3, Funny)

N!NJA (1437175) | more than 5 years ago | (#26294891)

[...] spectacles that made even the simplest product feature -- such as the handle on the clamshell iBook -- seem innovative and utterly desirable.

Spectacle?! You're kidding me. this is the easiest job in Silicon Valley? to arouse Mac fans and convince them to buy more Apple stuff. c'mom, that's as labourous as convincing an alcoholic to have another drink!

Re:Job's easy job... (2, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26295807)

Or getting a Leenux user to think recompiling the kernel is a fun way to spend a weekend

An old dude in a turtleneck... (4, Insightful)

txoof (553270) | more than 4 years ago | (#26294117)

If 10 years ago you would have told me that a 40 something balding man in a black turtleneck could make consumer computer technology look svelte, I wouldn't have believed you. I still find it hard to believe today. For all the weirdness, secrecy and--reportedly--heavy handedness, Jobs does some amazing work highlighting the positive aspects of Apple's products.

I think it's his confidence and an earnest belief that the product has been engineered to the highest standards that helps him be such an effective salesman. Bill Gates tried to capture some of that same humanity and enthusiasm in his Seinfeld commercials and somehow failed miserably. Perhaps it's Gate's lack of a publicaly accessible side. Or it could be that he's just a robot sent from the future.

Whatever you think about Apple (expensive, overly trendy, defectivebydesign, overly lawyered, Lord Job's GIFT to his children), Jobs does a pretty amazing job of selling it. My girlfriend pointed out that during his introduction of the iPhone, he not only enumerated the features of the device, he also taught everybody how it works. That's a pretty deft presentation.

Re:An old dude in a turtleneck... (-1, Troll)

gbarules2999 (1440265) | more than 4 years ago | (#26294263)

He's kind of like a priest. "Thou Mac is holy!" Everybody buys into it. Wait, would Jobs, in the Mac world, be the priest, or God Himself?

Yes, he IS kind of a priest (4, Insightful)

linhares (1241614) | more than 5 years ago | (#26294759)

Look at how he manages to always bring up an US versus THEM mentality, which is highly reminiscent of religion. I don't think that it's actually some "clever marketing ploy" by Jobs--I feel the guy really obsessively strives for purity, always taking older stuff out and bringing some new stuff that has never been done before. This purity craziness makes some fantastic products, such as the iPhone, and others which are only conceptual, like the cube. My macbook air, for instance, was just sold to some other sucker. That thing is beautiful, but at the same time it is a concept machine. 80GB with no expansion? "Oh but that's the purity of it; nobody has a thinner notebook"....

Re:Yes, he IS kind of a priest (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26297711)

he manages to always bring up an US versus THEM mentality, which is highly reminiscent of religion

Sounds reminiscent of Democrats.

Re:Yes, he IS kind of a priest (2, Insightful)

Keen Anthony (762006) | more than 5 years ago | (#26297829)

Without a doubt. It's completely in his personality, and he's always been this way. It's been said that everything with Steve has been about revolution and overthrowing stale paradigms. And likewise for Bill Gates, it's about the thrill of the victory. He's a nut when it comes to games like poker or puzzles. Neither of these guys care about money for the sake of money.

Re:Yes, he IS kind of a priest (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26300973)

Neither of these guys care about money for the sake of money.

Wrong, just compare an annual keynote of Jobs vs Gates. Gates just takes about statistics and "critical momentum" and market capitalisation. With Jobs you actually feel an enthusiasm for the products they design and a desire to change the world with techonlogy. They are miles apart in terms of philosophy about money. And anyway it's sad to see the Job's Macworld keynotes stop, even if just for the entertainment value.

Re:Yes, he IS kind of a priest (1)

Keen Anthony (762006) | more than 5 years ago | (#26305391)

No. Obviously they have to be good businessmen, and that entails being motivated by profit. They would be irresponsible not too, but I'm talking about the motivations that drive their personalities. Everyone who's known Bill Gates since his teen years knows about how intensely competitive Bill is. He loves to win. If the objective of the game is money, then his goal is to obtain the most. If the objective is just being dominant in a particular segment, even at a loss, then Bill will pursue that. As for Steve Jobs, from the very beginning of Apple, he was motivated by a desire to overthrow IBM and HP. It went beyond mere enthusiasm. It was evangelism. And, of course, I fell in love with like many other Apple diehards.

Yeah, it's sad that he's not going to do those keynotes anymore. I hope it's not for the reasons the rumor mill has been churning out because his keynotes are always something I look forward to.

Re:Yes, he IS kind of a priest (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26299635)

Are you this asshat^h^h^h^h^h^h guy?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AOAUI0s8zOE

Re:Yes, he IS kind of a priest (1)

linhares (1241614) | more than 5 years ago | (#26300285)

hehehe what a prick. No, I [capyblanca.com] 'm not that guy. I do agree that many things have to be taken apart in order to do something new. But for me the lack of space is the dealbreaker. The Macbook Air is the one 2009 laptop you can't take your large collection of music, photos, or videos with. A netbook can do it, but not a $1700 machine?

Re:An old dude in a turtleneck... (5, Funny)

Stormwatch (703920) | more than 5 years ago | (#26295397)

He's kind of like a priest. "Thou Mac is holy!" Everybody buys into it. Wait, would Jobs, in the Mac world, be the priest, or God Himself?

He can't be God, everyone knows Woz is God.

Re:An old dude in a turtleneck... (3, Insightful)

Albert Sandberg (315235) | more than 4 years ago | (#26294297)

What do we know, perhaps he's doing his absolutely best to highlight the bad sides of apple products as well, just that there isn't really any in the field(s) they are operating?

You don't buy a mac to run a server, you buy it to be creative, and I fail to see the drawbacks of such a purchase.

I have still to own my own mac, but I probably will in the future, because everyone I know who bought one tells me how sweet they are to use, and why wouldn't I trust my friends? After all, what I've seen from it it delivers.

Just having a hard time leaving linux, I guess I will have to multiboot :-)

Re:An old dude in a turtleneck... (3, Insightful)

txoof (553270) | more than 4 years ago | (#26294541)

You don't buy a mac to run a server, you buy it to be creative, and I fail to see the drawbacks of such a purchase.

That's exactly why I bought into macs. That and I couldn't bear to upgrade from XP to Vista with a new laptop purchase. I use my macbook for school (as a teacher) and I was doing all my photographic developing on it. I couldn't handle the terrible color consistency on the itty-bitty screen so I upgraded to an iMac. I do most of my school related work on the lappy and use the desktop for all my photography.

I can't get away from linux though. I have a linux box running in the next room as a print/web/music server. It also manages all the local and remote backups. The darwin side of OS X is also pretty awesome. I get to pretend that I know what the hell I'm doing and hack around in the command line and feel like a sys-admin.

As for the "bad sides" of Apple products, there's plenty that Jobs doesn't bother to mention. Like the iron grip Apple has on the iphone appstore, poor material quality on the macbook line (the keyboard deck and backsides are all cracking and crazing-mine has a razor sharp edge right where my right wrist rests). His strength is to make all the good qualities sound so sexy, you're willing to ignore those nasty ones. I sure did when I bought the 3G iphone. I love what the iphone does, but to be perfectly honest, my old Nokia 6000 series had a vastly better call quality and at a fraction of the price ($50).

Re:An old dude in a turtleneck... (2, Interesting)

Albert Sandberg (315235) | more than 5 years ago | (#26294909)

Well, about the apple store. It's okay that they do what they want with it to withold a certain quality BUT on the other side of that coin they should allow users to install whatever they want on their phones (even if this introduces virus threats).

It's not like microsoft allows open source programs from their windows update do they?

And yes, they have drawbacks such as the locked in iphone 3g, but you know what: you don't HAVE to buy it you know...

Re:An old dude in a turtleneck... (1, Informative)

tlhIngan (30335) | more than 5 years ago | (#26297195)

And yes, they have drawbacks such as the locked in iphone 3g, but you know what: you don't HAVE to buy it you know...

Other than a contract, the iPhone 3G is fairly "free" - you don't have to just get apps from the iTunes App Store - jailbreaking has worked on them almost from day 1. With Cydia and Installer, making your app public is also fairly simple.

Oh, and today, if your SIM is fairly simple, there is a soft-unlock for it, so almost any SIM card can work (exceptions are those that are PIN locked, and SIMs with apps on them (sim toolkit), you'll have to hot-plug the card.

Re:An old dude in a turtleneck... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26297985)

I don't know about call quality - we've been blessed in the UK with many crappy mobile phones with terrible call quality. The iPhone is about the best of the ones I've tried (various Nokia, Sony Ericsson, Treos) over the last few years.

Re:An old dude in a turtleneck... (3, Funny)

nathan.fulton (1160807) | more than 4 years ago | (#26294735)

"and why wouldn't I trust my friends?"

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Re:An old dude in a turtleneck... (1)

Albert Sandberg (315235) | more than 5 years ago | (#26294927)

Alright, just give me your credit card details and I'll be on my way...

Re:An old dude in a turtleneck... (3, Funny)

linhares (1241614) | more than 5 years ago | (#26295781)

Thank you, Prince, for your offer! Alexandre Linhares, Mastercard no #5448 2337 1981 9996 (security code 636). Please make deposit safe from internet pirates and police. Thank you.

Re:An old dude in a turtleneck... (1)

badasscat (563442) | more than 5 years ago | (#26295835)

I have still to own my own mac, but I probably will in the future, because everyone I know who bought one tells me how sweet they are to use, and why wouldn't I trust my friends? After all, what I've seen from it it delivers.

My next laptop will probably be a Macbook. Not because Macs are so "sweet" to use, but because they are less bad than modern Windows-based PC's.

I use a Mac at work almost exclusively. To say it works "intuitively", as Apple fans often do, is overstating things at best. It works intuitively if you already know how to use a Mac. There are some really basic things that I expect to be able to do on any computer that I still can't get used to not being able to do on a Mac. Stuff like basic file management (delete, copy, etc.) in file dialogue windows - can't do it on a Mac. You need to back out to the Finder, do your file management, then re-open the dialogue. Renaming a file requires an imprecisely measured long button press on the mouse button (which if you miss ends up opening the file), or clicking the "get info" option in the pop-up menu. There's no simple "rename" option! Stuff like that drives me absolutely batty on Macs.

Also, stuff that MS gets vilified for - like running a billion background processes on startup and hogging resources - Apple seems to get away with unscathed. Nobody complains about many of the same things in Mac OSX as they will rail endlessly against in Windows. The fact is the two OS's have a lot of the exact same shortcomings.

But I will say that Vista has really soured me on buying a new PC (I am using it right now on my new laptop, and I absolutely hate it), and OSX is much better at handling real-time apps like music recording, which I can't even do on the PC I just bought due to OS/driver latency. So my next laptop's going to be a Mac. It doesn't hurt that they're built very well, which most computers these days aren't - one thing I will say about Apple is that their hardware is top quality stuff. (I do have an iPod, and whatever some people say about them these days, mine's been going strong for about 4 years and is a lot more of a tank than it looks.)

Apple products have their pros and cons - probably more pros than cons, but still, the cons do exist. Steve Jobs has been a master at emphasizing the pros and basically making it seem like anyone who even brings up any of the cons is an idiot, or somebody who just "doesn't get it". I credit him with that. I still don't think he's a very good software engineer... but then I guess he never claimed to be.

Re:An old dude in a turtleneck... (4, Informative)

Stormwatch (703920) | more than 5 years ago | (#26296813)

Renaming a file requires an imprecisely measured long button press on the mouse button (which if you miss ends up opening the file), or clicking the "get info" option in the pop-up menu. There's no simple "rename" option!

Select the file to be renamed. PRESS THE "ENTER" KEY. Type the new name. Press the enter key again, or click anywhere else.

Re:An old dude in a turtleneck... (1, Informative)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26297911)

Renaming a file requires an imprecisely measured long button press on the mouse button (which if you miss ends up opening the file), or clicking the "get info" option in the pop-up menu. There's no simple "rename" option!

Select the file to be renamed. PRESS THE "ENTER" KEY. Type the new name. Press the enter key again, or click anywhere else.

Alternatively, just click the icon, then click the file name, and type the new name. That gets rid of the risk of double-clicking.

Re:An old dude in a turtleneck... (1, Troll)

Hognoxious (631665) | more than 5 years ago | (#26298335)

Alternatively, just click the icon

Which button? Oh sorry, it's a Mac. My bad.

Re:An old dude in a turtleneck... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26301673)

Just in case you hadn't noticed, your troll is hilariously bad not only because you're using a joke that stopped being valid years ago when Macs started shipping with multi-button mice, but also because your troll illustrates the benefit of only having a single mouse button -- you never have to wonder "which button?"

If your goal here was to fail in an epic manner, you have succeeded.

Re:An old dude in a turtleneck... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26297945)

Or nudge the mouse sideways, then rename the file or folder.

Re:An old dude in a turtleneck... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26299801)

Select the file to be renamed. PRESS THE "ENTER" KEY. Type the new name. Press the enter key again, or click anywhere else.

Completely intuitive! How the GP failed to discover this is beyond me. I only hope he's not an IT professional.

Re:An old dude in a turtleneck... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26299825)

There's no simple "rename" option!

bash$ mv old_name new_name

Re:An old dude in a turtleneck... (1)

Achromatic1978 (916097) | more than 5 years ago | (#26295933)

What do we know, perhaps he's doing his absolutely best to highlight the bad sides of apple products as well, just that there isn't really any in the field(s) they are operating?

The kool-aid was strong when you drunk it, I guess - wow. "There really isn't any bad side to any Apple products across the board".

Re:An old dude in a turtleneck... (2, Insightful)

spintriae (958955) | more than 5 years ago | (#26295985)

You don't buy a mac to run a server, you buy it to be creative

Are you kidding me? You BUY a Mac to BE creative? Anybody who actually believes that must not have a creative bone in their body if they don't understand that mindless mass market consumption doesn't fuel creativity. A painter buys a brush to express creativity, not to "be creative." And a truly creative painter doesn't need that brush, certainly not one with a shiny white logo on it. Picaso would not be more or less creative if you gave him a Mac instead of a brush, and giving him a PC instead of a Mac would have been outright irrelevant. The Beatles, who recorded Sgt. Pepper on 4-track tape, would not have been creatively hindered by using Cubase on Windows over Garage Band on OSX, even if they did get BSoDs everyday, which they wouldn't unless they were running Win98.

DISCLAIMER: This reply was posted on a Macbook Pro, therefore, any independent thought expressed in this post could not have been expressed on a less creative hunk of plastic and wires and is therefore the copyright of Apple, Inc. © 2009 All rights reserved.

Re:An old dude in a turtleneck... (1)

Albert Sandberg (315235) | more than 5 years ago | (#26296009)

to express, then.

Re:An old dude in a turtleneck... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26296291)

How about browsing the Internet? Checking email? Writing documents for school? Downloading porn? Do the artistic elite use their holy Macs for those sorts of things or is that considered blasphemy on par with masturbating to Jesus?

Re:An old dude in a turtleneck... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26298519)

And a truly creative painter doesn't need that brush, certainly not one with a shiny white logo on it

Reminds me of the old cartoon (can't find a link) with Michaelangelo's father berating the youngster and adding "in my day, we used to make our own brushes"...

Re:An old dude in a turtleneck... (4, Funny)

rubycodez (864176) | more than 4 years ago | (#26294495)

a 40 something balding man in a black turtleneck

that's a terrible mischaracterization. He's a 50-something balding man in a black turtleneck

Re:An old dude in a turtleneck... (1)

Merls the Sneaky (1031058) | more than 5 years ago | (#26295291)

He's starting to sound like the elusive fifth Wiggle.

Re:An old dude in a turtleneck... (2, Funny)

gyrogeerloose (849181) | more than 5 years ago | (#26296985)

that's a terrible mischaracterization. He's a 50-something balding man in a black turtleneck

That's a terrible mischaracterization. He's a 50-something balding man in a black mock turtleneck.

Re:An old dude in a turtleneck... (5, Funny)

cmacb (547347) | more than 4 years ago | (#26294585)

Of course the fact that his demos don't regularly crash midway through helps a lot.

At similar Microsoft events the "tension in the air" is everyone anticipating the blue screen of death with every mouse click.

Re:An old dude in a turtleneck... (2, Interesting)

MichaelSmith (789609) | more than 5 years ago | (#26294863)

Of course the fact that his demos don't regularly crash midway through helps a lot.

Its almost as if he spends a couple of days on testing before the event. Imagine doing that amount of effort to avoid appearing an idiot in front of millions of people.

Re:An old dude in a turtleneck... (2, Interesting)

hairyfeet (841228) | more than 5 years ago | (#26295517)

Hey now, lets be fair. It was a Win98 demo after all. Anybody who has worked with Win9x for any length of time knows that you could plug in the same device 100 times and on the 101st it would scream, shit itself and die. So they could do testing all they wanted and it could still do that. And hey, it could have been worse, he could have been demoing WinME which would shit itself and die without any user interaction whatsoever. Gotta look on the bright side, you know?

I did looove the look of terror on the assistants eyes for just a second when it blue screened in front of Bill. You could tell he was thinking "Oh shit, I am SO fired it ain't even funny."

Re:An old dude in a turtleneck... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26297293)

They do. People just dont talk about them.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AnVUvW42CUA [youtube.com] ..

Everyone is just jealous of Microsoft because of their superior products. Apple has yet to create any form of enterprise level reliable software. Not a single one. There are hundreds of thousands of windows servers that go just fine for years without any problems.

p.s.
Please go ahead and quote bits of my reply and twist the meaning and add some funny comments. I'd expect nothing less from the slashdot elite..

Re:An old dude in a turtleneck... (1)

RedK (112790) | more than 5 years ago | (#26300675)

Apple has a lot of education customers, video editing and sound editing folk, the movie industry, journalists, copy rooms, the list goes on. How are those not enterprise ? Unless enterprise as some very strict meaning where it's only IT companies and Finance firms that count...

Re:An old dude in a turtleneck... (1)

stokessd (89903) | more than 5 years ago | (#26301687)

Apple has yet to create any form of enterprise level reliable software. Not a single one.

Well there's web-objects which back in the day served dynamic content from Disney, Dell etc.

It was one of the darlings of NeXT (a company ahead of it's time), and after NeXT was re-absorbed by Apple has languished and maybe superseded.

Re:An old dude in a turtleneck... (1)

UnknowingFool (672806) | more than 5 years ago | (#26302385)

Enterprise level reliable? If an enterprise truly values reliability they go with Big Iron. Five or six 9s of reliability is expensive but also come with financial incentives. For the money, these companies pay for reliability, but they get financial compensation if not met. Microsoft famously touted their reliability when running a major stock exchange. The London Stock Exchange was down for a day and that blew their reliability for an entire century. NASDAQ is the same size as the LSE and they run Unix without an interruption.

Superior products? What crack have you been smoking? Most MS products for the most part are mediocre. At worst they are inferior. IE is not better than Firefox or Opera at reliability, security, or extensibility. Office is better than most solutions out there but it has increasingly gotten bloated and expensive.

Re:An old dude in a turtleneck... (0, Flamebait)

mdwh2 (535323) | more than 5 years ago | (#26298461)

If we're going to judge Windows on a completely different operating system (Windows 98 - as noted here [windowsitpro.com] , "NT didn't crash, however, despite its much earlier beta state."; since you don't know, NT 5 became Windows 2000, from which Vista is descended from), then it's fair game to judge OS X by the shambles that was classic MacOS. So, wake me up when MacOS has finally managed simple features such as multitasking...

Re:An old dude in a turtleneck... (1)

stokessd (89903) | more than 5 years ago | (#26301801)

Good point. Win9X was a steaming turd which we all suffered through. And ironically MacOS (in all it's later forms) was also a steaming turd. Multitasking?! Multitasking?! That's advanced stuff, how about a disk driver that was interrupt safe so that you could, you know, do stuff while writing to disk. Man you've got to walk before you can run.

I used to write fortran code in absoft fortran 77 on a Mac during grad school. It was such a great machine for avoiding RSI. I'd do some sort of bone-headed array index error and rather than have my program crash immediately and let me fix it, the whole machine would go down and I'd be able to get up, stretch and get a cup of coffee and maybe drop some kids off at the pool while the machine rebooted. Apple had my back even in those days. No Carpel Tunnel for me.

Sheldon

Re:An old dude in a turtleneck... (5, Insightful)

FloydTheDroid (1296743) | more than 5 years ago | (#26295489)

Your post is right on the money. I always come away from Jobs' demos with the same confidence I get from one of my friends telling me about a product they love. He follows a very simple formula to do this. During the keynotes he'll be giving the usual product spiel that you would expect. But then he does a demo and shows you that it's not all talk. They actually have a working product which is simple enough for the CEO of a fortune 100 company to demo but it's also simple enough for your parents too.

It's obvious that Jobs uses his company's product unlike those pesky auto execs who probably drive golf carts more often than they drive their classic European sports cars. Sorry, was that too bitter?

Re:An old dude in a turtleneck... (2, Insightful)

Have Brain Will Rent (1031664) | more than 5 years ago | (#26296105)

Geez yeah, I mean how could an old dude make anything look good? Especially stuff like technology that only the young can really relate to? And a balding old dude at that? And 40???? Man that's beyond old that's ancient! The mind fairly boggles!!! Makes me think of the last line in the old movie Wild In The Streets.

Re:An old dude in a turtleneck... (2, Insightful)

SerpentMage (13390) | more than 5 years ago | (#26297561)

My God techies don't get out much do they...

Ever heard of a company called NOKIA????

Do you know what Nokia made before they became the Juggernaut that they are today? Rubber Boots, TV's!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nokia [wikipedia.org]

The original CEO who transformed Nokia is long gone, but Nokia is still creating the products that they are.

The key with Nokia and the CEO is that he instilled a new way of thinking. Think HP, and how they used to think and do things. This is exactly what is going on with Apple.

Steve Jobs was Steve Jobs, and at times he failed. Think Next... And think some of the early products like Newton. But he stuck with his vision and instilled ideas. Now Apple has people who fulfilled that vision.

Do you REALLY think Steve Jobs was the only thinker? Let me tell you about a secret about Nokia. There are several brainchilds there. These guys are completely eclectic and all they care about are design. I once tried to get one of them to speak at a conference and his answer was, "not interested..." I offered a keynote to him and he said, "naa..."

There are those people at Apple, if only people went beyond the facade of Steve Jobs...

Re:An old dude in a turtleneck... (1)

drinkypoo (153816) | more than 5 years ago | (#26299213)

Jobs isn't the only thinker. He's the only one, however, who has been able to make the world passionate about Apple products. I think it's fair to say that Apple's next CEO will not make the boneheaded mistake of making Apple products that look just like every other computer out there except maybe a bit more rounded, though.

Re:An old dude in a turtleneck... (1)

Hognoxious (631665) | more than 5 years ago | (#26298309)

If 10 years ago you would have told me that a 40 something balding man in a black turtleneck could make consumer computer technology look svelte, I wouldn't have believed you.

I would. People were gullible before that, they were gullible then and they're gullible now.

And it's a scientific fact that people are getting more gullible at an average rate of around 1.5% per year.

The iRack (3, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#26294143)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rw2nkoGLhrE

Dickipedia (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#26294293)

Steve Jobs [dickipedia.org] . Just thought I'd leave that here.

Re:Dickipedia (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26294837)

Oh, but you know its true!

Re:Dickipedia (1)

reidconti (219106) | more than 5 years ago | (#26296851)

Unfortunately, it's just not funny. I got bored after reading the first section. It made me smile in a few places but not even an audible chuckle. It just comes off seeing angry, petty, and formulaic.

I mean, the encyclopediadramatica article on Steve Jobs is at least trying, and worthy of a laugh.

Zombie Steve Jobs releases iBrains (5, Funny)

David Gerard (12369) | more than 4 years ago | (#26294325)

Steve Jobs, visionary leader of Apple Computer, has died - and come back, better and stronger [today.com] .

The news was carried in an obituary run by Bloomberg late last night, which was pulled when news of his resurrection came through.

"They don't call it the Jesus Phone for nothing," Jobs laughed with reporters, before eating their tasty, tasty brains.

Jobs' new cyborg arsenal includes wifi, 3G, laser cannons, a flame thrower and a can opener, all running on Mac OS X Robosteve. Bundled applications include an enhanced hypnotic force field based on the one he uses at MacWorld keynotes. "I can't wait to try it on Bill," he said.

Disney, in which Jobs is the single largest shareholder, remained unaffected. "Steve's just working with the way we do things here," said the disembodied computer-hosted soul of Walt Disney, who was decanted to a computer in 1966 to avoid being declared legally dead, so that copyright in his works would never, ever run out.

Re:Zombie Steve Jobs releases iBrains (1)

Basehart (633304) | more than 5 years ago | (#26297263)

I hope Steve is hard at work recording some video clips to be played Hari Seldon [wikipedia.org] style at Disney theme parks every year for the rest of eternity.

Strange confusion... it isn't obvious? (5, Insightful)

mr_josh (1001605) | more than 4 years ago | (#26294583)

Maybe I've missed the people saying this, but it seems obvious why Steve (yeah, we're on a first name basis) is stepping out of the picture. He's not going to live forever, nor do I imagine that he wants to remain CEO until his death.

It seems like bad business practice (a liability?) for the fate of an entire company to be tied to one man, but there it is: people do not trust Apple to innovate sans Jobs. Rather than wait for the guy to drop dead or decide to quit. They have to start weening the public off of the idea that Steve Jobs sits in a big room, thinking up ideas that later become the products people crave.

The fact of the matter is Jobs has brought an atmosphere and mindset to Apple that they'd been lacking for a long time. And while people are -often legitimately- prone to question how truly innovative Apple's products are, it's hard to argue that the hype is often legitimate, and they at least have designs that contain and lack just the right number of features with the right amount of polish for a majority of users, to the point where they are willing to pay a premium for the product.

Separating the Steve Jobs from the idea that Apple is what has to be done, and it's going to be rough.

Re:Strange confusion... it isn't obvious? (1)

bigstrat2003 (1058574) | more than 5 years ago | (#26296797)

It seems like bad business practice (a liability?) for the fate of an entire company to be tied to one man, but there it is: people do not trust Apple to innovate sans Jobs.

It's true, but I find that fact hilarious. It means that people really are stupid enough to think Jobs is the one doing the innovating at Apple. Any innovation that comes out of that place is the product of a bunch of really smart people working together, not one man.

Re:Strange confusion... it isn't obvious? (1)

mike260 (224212) | more than 5 years ago | (#26300017)

Apple had smart people working there in the wilderness years too, and a fat lot of good it did them without a coherent long-term strategy and a bit of vision at the top.

Re:Strange confusion... it isn't obvious? (1)

blackest_k (761565) | more than 5 years ago | (#26297003)

If you really are on first name terms with steve, tell him osx runs well on a netbook, acer aspire one is mostly compatile, needed a usb wificard since the internal one wasn't supported.

There's two possibilities he could consider an osx release which fully supports this limited hardware or getting an apple badged version on the streets.

I understand Apple doesn't want to suffer the Linux issue, 99% compatibility but that 1% causes the quality of Linux into question time and time again. However as a subset of PC hardware which netbooks surely are, Apple really are missing out on a golden opportunity to dramatically increase market share.

An Apple branded netbook would sell and be a gateway to future sales at the higher end too.
It would be something of a triumph over Microsoft to be able to supply a netbook with a current mac operating system.

Re:Strange confusion... it isn't obvious? (1)

mike260 (224212) | more than 5 years ago | (#26300155)

They have to start weening the public off of the idea that Steve Jobs sits in a big room, thinking up ideas that later become the products people crave.

Yeah, agree mostly, and I have no doubt that post-Jobs they will continue to do all that good stuff - refreshing the hardware, coming up with a new look to replace aluminium+glass, adding fribble-frabble to OS X and so on.

  But it's hard to imagine an Apple led by (eg) Phil Schiller, creating new products on a par with OSX, iLife, the iPhone, the iPod and so on.

Why are they stopping doing these? (3, Insightful)

superskippy (772852) | more than 5 years ago | (#26294769)

Steve or no steve, the what-are-apple-bringing-out-next keynotes are a big tech highlight. They always get lots of news coverage- e.g. this piece!

It mystifies why Apple have decided that they can be dispensed with. Dell would kill to have this.

Re:Why are they stopping doing these? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26294953)

Nah. Dell would have sold the company and returned the money to the shareholders.

Re:Why are they stopping doing these? (5, Insightful)

phillymjs (234426) | more than 5 years ago | (#26295173)

They're stopping because they're tired of having to have something to show off two weeks after Christmas when the alternative is getting hammered for not announcing anything exciting-- without the Expo, they are free to work on stuff until they feel it's ready to be announced; they don't have to rush to conform to the timing of the show.

Plus, the timing of the show (which IDG is has apparently never been willing to reschedule) puts a dent in Apple's holiday sales... people who want to buy will hold off to see what new stuff gets announced at the Expo.

Finally, Apple now has sufficient mindshare with the general public that they don't really need a big trade show presence anymore to garner publicity. I see headlines on CNN.com frequently when Apple introduces new/updated products, and not just during the Expo-- Dell and HP don't have that kind of coverage when they announce new stuff, and most of Microsoft's press is stuff they'd rather not see on the main page of CNN.com, like yesterday's Zune coma epidemic.

~Philly

Re:Why are they stopping doing these? (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26297193)

Your reply is priceless. It should be posted in the Wikipedia as the quintessential example of an Apple apologist. It has all the hallmarks. Bravo, and well done!

Jobs = Marketing (4, Insightful)

nurb432 (527695) | more than 5 years ago | (#26294813)

Just goes to show you what you can do if you truly believe in your products.

Personally i think he's a pompous jerk and is often shortsighted, but I cant deny he's the master of marketing.

Re:Jobs = Marketing (4, Funny)

syousef (465911) | more than 5 years ago | (#26296577)

Personally i think he's a pompous jerk and is often shortsighted, but I cant deny he's the master of marketing.

You just repeated yourself. Master of Marketing would have been sufficient.

Looking at the videos, it occurs to me (5, Insightful)

hey! (33014) | more than 5 years ago | (#26295003)

that Jobs may be unique in that he has the skills to manage a major company, at the same time he really, really cares about the product. That's what comes across in videos; it's not that his keynotes have a great deal of razzmatazz, it's that they have conviction. That is the source of the famous reality distortion field. At the same time, he also brought classic management common sense to Apple, simplifying their product line to fit a well chosen market position, streamlining the manufacturing end of the business.

I really think this combination is rare. There are lots of entrepreneurs who start businesses, to whom management is something they have to do in order to create products. There are lots of high flying managers for whom, at the end of the day, a company is merely a machine for efficient profit generation. I think Carly Fiorina at HP was an example of the latter. It wasn't that her ideas were, in a generic sense, bad. It's that she didn't have a sense for what was right, and more importantly, unique at HP. People see her as the manager that destroyed HP; that's not quite right. She is the manager who turned HP from an unique institution into just another big company.

I suppose it may be that a more or less standard company is easier to run; you can get generic B school grads employing motherhood and apple pie practices and turn a normal profit, or with luck a tiny bit more. But while the process of converting an unique company into something easier to grasp, there is a spark of imagination and creativity that is lost.

Whatever Jobs faults may have been, you can't say he was an ineffective or inefficient manager, nor can you say he treated the products of the company as merely profit centers. Apple is a company with personality, with a sense of uniqueness and mission, things which business plans give lip service to but usually aren't reflected in reality.

Jobs is a manager for whom the details of a product matter. People snicker about the reality distortion field when the crowd goes wild when Jobs announces the iBook will have a handle, but I don't think they get it. Whether or not a handle is something a laptop ought to have, details matter. I wish other manufacturers had this attitude; they copy stylistic elements from Apple, but while the result may or may not look great, they still miss important details like managing the cord on the power brick, or the power connector itself.

Re:Looking at the videos, it occurs to me (5, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26295709)

I think that he cares about the product so much is a rare characteristic in CEOs. Most CEOs get on stage and talk about profit momentum and other accounting noise. Steve gets on stage and talks about the beauty of the product and how this changes people's lives.

I remember reading a story about the development of the first Macintosh. Steve was haranguing a programmer to make the boot time faster. (Paraphrasing). "Imagine if you cut the boot time by 10 seconds. Multiply that by a million customers. You just saved 115 days of life every year." Most CEOs would have talked about how many more units would be sold.

Whatever else you say about him that passion for the product is an outstanding characteristic.

Re:Looking at the videos, it occurs to me (3, Insightful)

Cannelloni (969195) | more than 5 years ago | (#26298021)

I think that is a fair assessment. While I don't know what goes on in Jobs' head, I know he is almost fanatical about the user experience, some thing Microsoft and others only have a superficial idea about. (They still haven't figured it out, which is obvious to anyone who has been exposed to Windows Vista or seen the Windows 7 betas.) The way the users sees the product is the most important part. Second, Steve Jobs has built the Apple brand from an empty shell of a logo to a dominant player. Apple is now a leader in consumer electronics. Before Jobs, Apple was a small niche player, now it's about to go mainstream in a major way. But market share is not all that important to Apple, and I will try to explain why. The third thing, and the only thing that matters from a business point of view, is profitability. Apple is a VERY profitable business now. The company also has a cash reserve of about 25 billion US dollars. Profitability is more important then market share to Apple, because it means it has the freedom to go anywhere and be anything it wants. Something that will become apparent in the years ahead.

Why stop there? Why not write the entire post in t (0, Redundant)

black_lbi (1107229) | more than 5 years ago | (#26298321)

he title?
Oh, that's why ...

Re:Looking at the videos, it occurs to me (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26299163)

The first iPod shows this too. I had a flash based mp3 player and it had all of these different cables for USB and power (with a wall wart transformer) the thing looked like an Intensive care patient will all those wires.

The ipod used the firewire for power and data and that for me was just as big of a deal as the scroll wheel interface.

Re:Looking at the videos, it occurs to me (1)

drinkypoo (153816) | more than 5 years ago | (#26299257)

People see her as the manager that destroyed HP; that's not quite right. She is the manager who turned HP from an unique institution into just another big company.

This is very much the same thing.

I have a first-generation Compaq nw9440 laptop. It had a serious GPU overheat problem and a self-ejecting DVD-rom problem when I got it. Without going into detail (some of you have seen much of it already) they've sent me the wrong-brand optical drive twice (HP brand is a line item feature, I don't want tsstcorp even if it's only a bios difference!) and the wrong MODEL (4x instead of 8x, no lightscribe) three times, sent me the wrong power supply twice, on-site tech came out and took my computer from flaky to dead, then came out again and couldn't fix it, had to send in my on-site-service laptop for repair... HP sold me a lemon and then has utterly failed to provide reasonable service. There's no way they can possibly have made money on this deal, and the worst part is that since they outsourced everything possible, and otherwise remain a conglomeration of umpteen jillion companies, it takes minimum 45 minutes on the phone every time I call, even just to request a callback.

HP is now a company with no soul. There is no compelling reason whatsoever to purchase from HP. If you love yourself, you will not buy anything from those fuckers for personal use, because if it goes to hell getting it fixed will be a soul-stealing operation. (My laptop still has some poorly-secured plastic around the power button. I'm pretty sure the button board is what died and stopped my laptop from booting when the tech came and worked on it without any static protection whatsoever, on cold windy days this last December.)

Re:Looking at the videos, it occurs to me (2, Interesting)

txoof (553270) | more than 5 years ago | (#26300757)

Whether or not a handle is something a laptop ought to have, details matter. I wish other manufacturers had this attitude; they copy stylistic elements from Apple, but while the result may or may not look great, they still miss important details like managing the cord on the power brick, or the power connector itself.

I was an early adopter of the HDD based mp3 player. I bought Archo's FIRST HDD mp3 player and it was a beast. It took 6(!) AA batteries, had the form factor of a cassette player and charged with an ugly wallwart. It had a reasonable capcity (10GB), but the UI was terrible. The screen was a tiny, muddy backlit mess and it was just about impossible to navigate through the tiny screen. A few years later, after giving up on HDD based mp3 players, I bought an iPod. It was my first experience with an Apple product since middle school.

Comming from a cruddy, unreadable display and a terrible UI to the ipod was a really interesting experience. The thought and precision that went into the design was remarkable. I was amazed at the ingenuity of the click wheel interface. Little things like the international swappable power adapter on the brick were a nice touch too. The short of the long is this: Apple doesn't just make stuff that works, they spend a lot of time (and MONEY!) making stuff that has well crafted details. Like the OP said, sometimes those details are downright silly, but the fact is somebody put a lot of thought into those details. The details, as silly as they might be, for the most part, work as they were intended to.

Other manufactures could do well to take a page from Apple and put as much thought into their products. Sony is a great example, they cram all sorts of awesome features into their products, but in the end, their devices feel cumbersome and difficult to use. And in my experience, every Sony device I've owned has some sort of fatal flaw, like my Sony TV that thinks it knows what my "favorite" channel is and switches to it repeatedly until I unplug it for an hour.

keynote archive? (1)

Shaheen (313) | more than 5 years ago | (#26295275)

does anyone know of a video archive of all of jobs' keynotes since he has returned to apple? try as i might, i've only been able to gather a few that i've found from youtube and itunes.

Ep!?. (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26296319)

the gay niggers Faster, Cheaper, BSD machines play area Try not of 0pen-source. and Juliet 40,000

Steve Jobs dying? *BSD is Dying. (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26296371)

It is now official. Netcraft confirms: *BSD is dying

One more crippling bombshell hit the already beleaguered *BSD community when IDC confirmed that *BSD market share has dropped yet again, now down to less than a fraction of 1 percent of all servers. Coming on the heels of a recent Netcraft survey which plainly states that *BSD has lost more market share, this news serves to reinforce what we've known all along. *BSD is collapsing in complete disarray, as fittingly exemplified by failing dead last [samag.com] in the recent Sys Admin comprehensive networking test.

You don't need to be the Amazing Kreskin [amazingkreskin.com] to predict *BSD's future. The hand writing is on the wall: *BSD faces a bleak future. In fact there won't be any future at all for *BSD because *BSD is dying. Things are looking very bad for *BSD. As many of us are already aware, *BSD continues to lose market share. Red ink flows like a river of blood.

FreeBSD is the most endangered of them all, having lost 93% of its core developers. The sudden and unpleasant departures of long time FreeBSD developers Jordan Hubbard and Mike Smith only serve to underscore the point more clearly. There can no longer be any doubt: FreeBSD is dying.

Let's keep to the facts and look at the numbers.

OpenBSD leader Theo states that there are 7000 users of OpenBSD. How many users of NetBSD are there? Let's see. The number of OpenBSD versus NetBSD posts on Usenet is roughly in ratio of 5 to 1. Therefore there are about 7000/5 = 1400 NetBSD users. BSD/OS posts on Usenet are about half of the volume of NetBSD posts. Therefore there are about 700 users of BSD/OS. A recent article put FreeBSD at about 80 percent of the *BSD market. Therefore there are (7000+1400+700)*4 = 36400 FreeBSD users. This is consistent with the number of FreeBSD Usenet posts.

Due to the troubles of Walnut Creek, abysmal sales and so on, FreeBSD went out of business and was taken over by BSDI who sell another troubled OS. Now BSDI is also dead, its corpse turned over to yet another charnel house.

All major surveys show that *BSD has steadily declined in market share. *BSD is very sick and its long term survival prospects are very dim. If *BSD is to survive at all it will be among OS dilettante dabblers. *BSD continues to decay. Nothing short of a miracle could save it at this point in time. For all practical purposes, *BSD is dead.

Fact: *BSD is dying

Fact: *Steve Jobs is dying

Some guy said something about some product. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26297781)

Seriously. Who CARES.

Mega-wide screen? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26297897)

OK so "widescreen" then.

Why do peple get so excited at being marketed to?

i don't get it (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26298187)

jobs says "look how small it is!" and gets applause. everybody is suckig his dick like crazy.

i never had thatreaction when i said the same thing. all i got was sobbing. definately no dick sucking

Needs a match between MacWorld xx and NeXTWorld yy (1)

WillAdams (45638) | more than 5 years ago | (#26298715)

'cause it's hilarious (and sad) how after Apple bought NeXT people at MacWorld were cheering for demos which were repeats of previous NeXTWorlds.

William

(who didn't wait, but switched to using a NeXT Cube in college)

Re:Needs a match between MacWorld xx and NeXTWorld (1)

drinkypoo (153816) | more than 5 years ago | (#26299275)

(who didn't wait, but switched to using a NeXT Cube in college)

And from the adoption of both NeXTStep and Objective-C, it's clear you made the right choice.

Martin

(who used afterstep to make his Linux system look like NeXTStep about the same time he dropped out of college)

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