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Apple Introduces "MacBook Wheel"

CmdrTaco posted more than 5 years ago | from the future-is-now dept.

It's funny.  Laugh. 268

CommonCents noted an Apple announcement a few hours before the anticipated keynote. He says "Apples' latest must have gadget does away with the keyboard. With the new MacBook Wheel, Apple has replaced the traditional keyboard with a giant wheel."

cancel ×

268 comments

Yeah (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26342321)

Idle sucks. The Onion sucks. Fuck you.

Re:Yeah (3, Funny)

meist3r (1061628) | more than 5 years ago | (#26342643)

Your comment sucks. You suck. I love you.

The Onion (5, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26342323)

The onion, where it's April 1st year round.

The CowTax (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26342607)

The CowTax [cowtax.com] , where it's "ajar" all year round.
 
  Warning! Humor site. Don't click! :)

Re:The CowTax (0, Troll)

Golliwogg (1444293) | more than 5 years ago | (#26343189)

Yo dog, dat site be coo, ya dig? I would heartily recommend it to all my fellow Slashdotters.

Re:The Onion (2, Funny)

eebra82 (907996) | more than 5 years ago | (#26342627)

Except on April 1st when it's actually June 23rd.

Re:The Onion (4, Funny)

dotancohen (1015143) | more than 5 years ago | (#26342775)

The onion, where it's April 1st year round.

And where only Apple could reinvent the Wheel.

Re:The Onion (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26342835)

How do I use Vi editor with this?

Is it just me? (2, Funny)

Van Cutter Romney (973766) | more than 5 years ago | (#26342335)

Or does the anchorwoman have a head shaped like an onion?

phone next? (5, Funny)

firewood (41230) | more than 5 years ago | (#26342339)

Maybe next they'll invent some way to dial a phone with just some sort of rotary wheel...

Re:phone next? (1)

residue (462525) | more than 5 years ago | (#26342367)

bahahahahaha

Re:phone next? (2, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26342381)

Dialing a phone with a rotary wheel will actually be a whole lot easier in my mind than typing an email with a whole wheel. I don't see how this process is faster than me typing exactly what I want. Imagine trying to program with that thing. Predictive text will not be any help with odd variables names and punctuation marks all over the place. This to me is definitely overkill.

Re:phone next? (0, Troll)

Hamilton Publius (909539) | more than 5 years ago | (#26342455)

mods, what the fuck? +1 insightful? Put the joint you're smoking down and reinsert the pole you were working on

Re:phone next? (5, Funny)

Hal_Porter (817932) | more than 5 years ago | (#26342797)

Dialing a phone with a rotary wheel will actually be a whole lot easier in my mind than typing an email with a whole wheel. I don't see how this process is faster than me typing exactly what I want. Imagine trying to program with that thing. Predictive text will not be any help with odd variables names and punctuation marks all over the place. This to me is definitely overkill.

It's quick than you think. Suppose you wanted to type Whoosh! to inform someone that they had missed a joke. Once you enter Wh you can just select Whoosh! from the dropdown list.

Re:phone next? (4, Funny)

dkh2 (29130) | more than 5 years ago | (#26343197)

Hal is working on one of these already - that's why his first sentence has "quick" where the form "quicker" should have been.

Re:phone next? (1)

LurkingOnSlashdot (1378465) | more than 5 years ago | (#26342425)

iPhone 2.0

Re:phone next? (5, Interesting)

PolygamousRanchKid (1290638) | more than 5 years ago | (#26342447)

If this isn't on the iPhone AppStore already, it will be real soon. Enough folks would shell out a few bucks for the novetly of it.

"Hey, look at me! I can dial my iPhone, just like in those old movies!"

Mount your iPhone in a shoe, and you can play Maxwell Smart. Now that would really freak people out, when your shoe rings, and you take it off to answer it.

Re:phone next? (2, Interesting)

Hijacked Public (999535) | more than 5 years ago | (#26342485)

If I recall correctly an app like that pre-dates the App Store. I think there was one available for jailbroken 1.x firmware.

Re:phone next? (1)

philgross (23409) | more than 5 years ago | (#26342569)

There are several. Search for "rotary dialer" in the iTunes App Store.

Re:phone next? (1)

Arthur Grumbine (1086397) | more than 5 years ago | (#26343355)

Mount your iPhone in a shoe, and you can play Maxwell Smart. Now that would really freak people out, when your shoe rings, and you take it off to answer it.

I had no idea that iPhones had such a monopoly on the "being able to be mounted in a shoe" form factor...

Re:phone next? (2, Informative)

Cannelloni (969195) | more than 5 years ago | (#26342871)

Actually, there is already such a program for the iPhone.

Mactini (2, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26342373)

This reminds me of the Mactini on the The Peter Serafinowicz Show Christmas Special: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=noe3kR8KqJc

The really sad thing about this... (1, Interesting)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26342389)

...is that if I hadn't noticed this was from the Onion when I read a blurb about it on another tech website this morning, I would have believed it. I don't know if that says something about my intelligence (or lack thereof) or if it says something rather disturbing about Apple.

However, on a more serious note, it's just a matter of time before the keyboard and mouse go away. Perhaps it isn't going to happen quite as soon as some people predict, but eventually with gestural control and the ever-improving implication of voice recognition technology, there just won't be a need for direct, physical input. I look forward to the days we our children can quote Back to the Future 2 with full knowledge that the kids in the arcade uttered a prophetic phrase: "You mean you have to use your hands? That's like a baby's toy!"

Re:The really sad thing about this... (3, Insightful)

Tx (96709) | more than 5 years ago | (#26342635)

However, on a more serious note, it's just a matter of time before the keyboard and mouse go away. Perhaps it isn't going to happen quite as soon as some people predict, but eventually with gestural control and the ever-improving implication of voice recognition technology, there just won't be a need for direct, physical input.

Maybe, maybe not. I'm sure I'm not alone in not looking forward to being surrounded by an office full people jabbering at their computers, so speech recognition, even if it ever gets to a level of accuracy that makes is speed-competitive with a keyboard, will still not be suitable for a lot of working environments. And I'm not all that convinced that is is improving very quickly - current products seem to need a lot less training than those of 10 years ago, but the best you can get out of them doesn't seem much better than what could be achieved back then. Gesture recognition won't stand on it's own as an input medium, although I can see it being more useful in the forseeable future than speech recognition. Personally I see direct physical interfaces persisting right up until we can have a wireless brain interface to take over.

Re:The really sad thing about this... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26342721)

With improvements virtualization along with the environmental positives of working from home rather than commuting, what makes you think that we'll need to work in offices in the not-so-distant future. Save for manufacturing, this is a very plausible future for the business world.

In short order, there will likely be no "office full [of] people jabbering at their computers" in a decade or so.

Re:The really sad thing about this... (4, Insightful)

ari_j (90255) | more than 5 years ago | (#26342749)

Try writing and formatting a 20-page brief, 150-page thesis, or a thousand 2-page letters on your cell phone if you need any proof that the full keyboard is here to stay.

Oh, and then, after you finish all that, try to write a speech recognition program without using a keyboard.

Re:The really sad thing about this... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26342869)

I'm sure there were people back then who said the same thing about emergining technologies not being practical.

Instead of waving our canes around whilst gumming on our false teeth screaming at those damn kids and their new fangled computers, we'll be waving around our laptops and yelling into our bluetooth headsets at those damn kids and their new fangled brain interfaces.

Also, I don't think the author of the parent article said anything about typing up a report on their cell phone. Stop using unrelated arugments to give yourself an excuse to post.

Oh, and if you think typing a report up on a cell phone is stupid, I give you this. [nytimes.com] Just in case you don't think it's possible.

Re:The really sad thing about this... (1)

Cannelloni (969195) | more than 5 years ago | (#26342879)

And no-one will ever read it! But someone has to pretend they did. :)

Re:The really sad thing about this... (1)

gapagos (1264716) | more than 5 years ago | (#26342819)

Besides the fact that talking for hours to your computer is extremely tiresome, just like hearing everyone in your office is extremely tiresome... the security issues of everyone speaking out loud what they type would be astronomical. I mean it doesn't make any sense, and it will never make any sense.

Re:The really sad thing about this... (1)

liquidpele (663430) | more than 5 years ago | (#26342795)

The only way the keyboard is going away is with voice recognition that doesn't suck. It's been a decade since they started down that path... I don't foresee it anytime soon. As for the mouse, as screens get larger we could potentially see a move to touch screen or a wii-mote type of thing, but people under estimate the mouse a lot. I've never seen any other input device that is as exact and that you can use for hours and hours without getting tired and sore.

Re:The really sad thing about this... (3, Funny)

Crumplecorn (904797) | more than 5 years ago | (#26343025)

I look forward to playing UT2020 by waving my hands in the direction I want to turn and shouting 'fire'.

I'm already training for the steady decline toward inferior input interfaces by playing FPSes on the Wii.

Re:The really sad thing about this... (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26343077)

Why you tried to start an intelligent conversation on a forum full of elitist, close-minded, penguin lovers is way beyond me. I rarely stop by Slashdot to read anything anymore because no one can carry on a conversation in a civil manner. I see today should have been no exception. Lesson learned.

Re:The really sad thing about this... (1)

ChangelingJane (1042436) | more than 5 years ago | (#26343223)

"A keyboard? How quaint!"

Apples and Onions (0, Troll)

EightBits (61345) | more than 5 years ago | (#26342391)

News from theonion.com? That's more legit than Apple's advertising team in the 1970s. Mac fans probably wont be able to tell the difference!

MacWheel Shuffle (1, Interesting)

starglider29a (719559) | more than 5 years ago | (#26342421)

The way that my jobs works out, I could do MOST of it with a Wheel! And if I got the MacWheel Shuffle, I could NOT show up, and half the office wouldn't notice ;-)

Re:MacWheel Shuffle (2, Funny)

camperdave (969942) | more than 5 years ago | (#26342573)

And if I got the MacWheel Shuffle, I could NOT show up, and half the office wouldn't notice

You could get a cardboard cutout made of yourself to fool the rest of the office.

MS Bob (1)

salarelv (1314017) | more than 5 years ago | (#26342439)

Probably Apples MS Bob

Why is this on the -/ frontpage? (2, Insightful)

Juggz (1181257) | more than 5 years ago | (#26342463)

Seriously? A joke article on slashdot, on a regular news day..

Ligfhten up dude. /. did. :-) (4, Insightful)

crovira (10242) | more than 5 years ago | (#26342621)

Personally, I thought it was a bit of a waste of space but its "The Onion" what else could is be?

Re:Why is this on the -/ frontpage? (5, Funny)

wild_berry (448019) | more than 5 years ago | (#26342629)

MacWorld San Francisco is today. This content is made available to you as part of their 'driving and leveraging for increased consumer experience' toward the '"Idle" supersite subbrand of the Slashdot publishing matrix'.

This post took 119 minutes to write on my new MacBook Wheel.

Re:Why is this on the -/ frontpage? (4, Insightful)

jayhawk88 (160512) | more than 5 years ago | (#26342645)

Oh noes, it took up almost 2 cm of your screen when you opened Slashdot, and perhaps as much as 3 minutes of your opening morning avoid-work browsing to view the video, however will you recover from such trauma?

Timing is everything (5, Insightful)

malice (82026) | more than 5 years ago | (#26342677)

I'm sure this being on the front page of /. has nothing to do with the Macworld Expo keynote that takes place in a matter of hours...

Re:Why is this on the -/ frontpage? (4, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26342695)

-/? This is slashdot, not dashslash.

Re:Why is this on the -/ frontpage? (-1, Troll)

Gewalt (1200451) | more than 5 years ago | (#26342799)

My only connection to this website just got severed. I used to keep /. RSS feed on my igoogle. But I got tired of seeing fark shit like this. So goodbye /., you just to be great.

Taco, you killed slashdot. Idle may have been the weapon, but it was you who wielded it.

Re:Why is this on the -/ frontpage? (1)

tiedyejeremy (559815) | more than 5 years ago | (#26342887)

I'm disappointed.

Re:Why is this on the -/ frontpage? (1)

Hal_Porter (817932) | more than 5 years ago | (#26342899)

I think it's a test to see how many slashdotters can spot satire. I must say they seem to be doing better than I expected. Presumably if the satire detection had been sufficiently low Taco would have announced that Slashdot would no longer be available as a website, and instead we would have to pay money to move to a commune in Waco to get the stories read to us.

Re:Why is this on the -/ frontpage? (1)

Peregr1n (904456) | more than 5 years ago | (#26342967)

Yeah, it's annoying. Although I've got idle turned off on my /. preferences for the front page, it doesn't change the RSS feeds, so I clicked on this from iGoogle thinking it was a serious article. I don't have a sense of humour, you insensitive clod!

Re:Why is this on the -/ frontpage? (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26343259)

...Says the very serious person who calls him/herself "Juggz"

Re:Why is this on the -/ frontpage? (1)

fafaforza (248976) | more than 5 years ago | (#26343281)

Do you seriously lack onine news sources to read and places to comment?

Re:Why is this on the -/ frontpage? (2, Insightful)

gsgriffin (1195771) | more than 5 years ago | (#26343395)

WHY? Because it's damn funny!! If you can laugh at the jokes made at MS (which I assume you do), then take a little...everyone on /. knows that Mac users give a lot of lip. Take a joke and enjoy it. This was better done than anything I've ever seen come from the Apple basher club.

2 things put me off on this (5, Funny)

geeper (883542) | more than 5 years ago | (#26342467)

1. 45 minutes to type a simple email.
2. The dude that said "I'll buy anything thats shiny made by Apple!"

Re:2 things put me off on this (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26342791)

how do you not know this is a fake video?

Re:2 things put me off on this (2, Funny)

geeper (883542) | more than 5 years ago | (#26342873)

Because on the freakin' web, everything is real...duh?

I know... (5, Funny)

XPeter (1429763) | more than 5 years ago | (#26342479)

This is a bit "out there", but to be perfectly honest I'd rather use a laptop running VISTA over that silly Macbook Wheel. It will take me more time to type an e-mail on that thing, then it would to send an e-mail on Vista. This is what happens when Steve gets sick, Apple gets desperate for ideas.

Re:I know... (1)

edmudama (155475) | more than 5 years ago | (#26343031)

Did you know gullible isn't in the dictionary?

Re:I know... (1)

Jawn98685 (687784) | more than 5 years ago | (#26343137)

Did you know gullible isn't in the dictionary?

Touche', sir. I salute your artful approach to the otherwise simple act of "shooting fish in a barrel". Now let us pause and lament that there are so many fucking fish.

Re:I know... (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26343257)

And that if you type "google" into Google, you'll break the internet!

Re:I know... (4, Funny)

mobby_6kl (668092) | more than 5 years ago | (#26343247)

I think you're missing the real genious here. What Apple/Steve did is simplify the computing experience so that it "just works". If you were to type an email in Vista, you'd have to use the confusing keyboad which has way too many buttons. A common keyboard has about a hundred too many.

Instead, you just flick the wheel around until you get to the character you need, like you would with a safe. That's it, there's just one device you interface with, and everything is a single fluid motion around the wheel. As is often the case, you're just stuck with your old obsolete ways, while Steve has seen the light and wants to share with us all.

Ob ... (5, Funny)

BESTouff (531293) | more than 5 years ago | (#26342531)

- Dear MacFan, will you defend the new MacBook Wheel without even knowing what it is ?

- Yes, iWheel !

10-to-1 (2, Funny)

PortHaven (242123) | more than 5 years ago | (#26342549)

Next year's big Apple announcement will be the elimination of keyboards from the MacBook Air. Just touch sensitive pads so that we can make it even THINNER!!!!

Re:10-to-1 (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26343235)

Why wait until next year?

Recycled jokes. (0)

Vellmont (569020) | more than 5 years ago | (#26342589)

IIRC this joke is 10 years old. I think I saw it in The Onion around 10 years ago. The fact that Slashdot fell for it makes up for the old joke.

Re:Recycled jokes. (1)

Zironic (1112127) | more than 5 years ago | (#26342649)

You're aware this is idle right?

Re:Recycled jokes. (1)

Vellmont (569020) | more than 5 years ago | (#26342881)

And this matters why?

Re:Recycled jokes. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26342781)

woosh

Re:Recycled jokes. (1)

Cannelloni (969195) | more than 5 years ago | (#26342891)

Why spoil the fun?

Re:Recycled jokes. (0)

fafaforza (248976) | more than 5 years ago | (#26343361)

I'll voice a vote of support. Everyone should keep a rolladex of jokes they've heard for at least 10 years (preferably 15) and when they hear a joke that's already in that rolladex (or database, whatever you're into), they should be grumpy about it and tell perfect strangers how they've already heard it before, even if the new take is somewhat funny. Taking claim to already having heard said joke should take precedence over having any enjoyment out of it.

I expect (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26342595)

that there won't be any optical drives. Too low tech for those yuppies that buy that stuff. Don't get me wrong, I'm not against Apple, per se, but I just don't like that would (for example) sell an iDrive for $249, and all it is is a $49 Segate hard drive with a damn shiny case.

Leave it to Apple... (4, Funny)

techstar25 (556988) | more than 5 years ago | (#26342599)

Leave it to Apple to reinvent the wheel...

Not funny enough (0, Troll)

Carniphage (827184) | more than 5 years ago | (#26342631)

That video must have cost a fortune to make. It's a pity the premise was just was not that funny to start with. Dear Onion, Throwing cash at a weak joke does not make it super hilarious. C.

Re:Not funny enough (1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26342945)

Oh, you must not have to live with fan boys.. this crap was freakin hilarious

Re:Not funny enough (1)

denzacar (181829) | more than 5 years ago | (#26343237)

Nah... He probably IS a fanboy, with a serious case of sour grapes.

Its never funny when it is about YOUR object of desire and affection, right?

From TFV (1, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26342637)

"I'll buy anything from Apple if it's shiny and new."

Kinda says it all about the target demographic.

Yeah, that'll fly... (1)

BMWTwisty (1446267) | more than 5 years ago | (#26342651)

"...sonofabitch! It's a crummy commercial!"

Re:Yeah, that'll fly... (1)

jbeaupre (752124) | more than 5 years ago | (#26342759)

Where did you learn that word? It's Lifebouy for you, young man!

Are you serious? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26342765)

Well, if this' not a bad joke... despite 45 min to write a proper text...

Does anyone else know why keybs have so much keys and why are there in the way they're placed? Just for imagination: we have 10 fingers and we want them not to be atrophiated (deformed)...

Re:Are you serious? (1)

Big Hairy Ian (1155547) | more than 5 years ago | (#26343157)

The Qwerty Keyboard is actually designed to slow the typist down because it dates back to the old mechanical typewriters that used to jam up if you went too fast. You can now get ergonomic keyboards that are designed to let you type as fast as you like however I've only ever seen them used by people poking them with one finger at a time.

Re:Are you serious? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26343375)

The Qwerty Keyboard is actually designed to slow the typist down because it dates back to the old mechanical typewriters that used to jam up if you went too fast.

You know, I wish stupid people like you who parrot this BS would just Darwin yourself.

Here, I'll help you with some critical thinking:

How is it possible for people to touch-type when the device they would touch-type on hasn't been invented yet?

Now, hopefully you'll put some thought into this and your head will explode, leaving us with one moron fewer.

This is great news (1)

Cannelloni (969195) | more than 5 years ago | (#26342845)

I'm actually surprised this hasn't happened before. People are too lazy to type or read anyway, so why bother with a keyboard? But using the terminal will be a bit tricky...

Re:This is great news (1)

dotancohen (1015143) | more than 5 years ago | (#26342913)

Ever heard of a mouse? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mouse_(computing) [wikipedia.org]

Re:This is great news (1)

Cannelloni (969195) | more than 5 years ago | (#26343015)

You mean like you have like a computer with a mouse? You must have a newer model than me.

Re:This is great news (1)

dotancohen (1015143) | more than 5 years ago | (#26343231)

These darn rodents get into all the darndest of places!

Actually, I hardly ever touch the rodent. That's what Vimperator is for.

A joke with a deeper meaning... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26342855)

This is some funny stuff !
Made my day =)

But seriously, where are the hightech interface stuff? We are all still using keyboards !
Ten years ago we had voice recognize software, record eye movement tracking -> pointer theories and auto complete / auto correct spelling utils.
What new interface have we adopted in the last 10 years?

Answer is: Ipod wheel

Swing and a miss. (1)

SetupWeasel (54062) | more than 5 years ago | (#26342907)

This joke is about 5 years late, just like their Dick Cheney/undisclosed location joke I saw a few weeks back.

I remember when the Onion was something special.

This doesn't belong here (1, Insightful)

torstenvl (769732) | more than 5 years ago | (#26342937)

Really really terrible submission. Should have been rejected.

For those plaintively responding "But this is idle" ... no it's not. It originated on Idle but it's on the front page, where it emphatically and utterly does not belong.

Re:This doesn't belong here (4, Insightful)

PK_ERTW (538588) | more than 5 years ago | (#26343227)

So, any topic that shows up on 'idle' is banned from appearing on the front page?

This is a story that clearly belongs in idle. It is also, in one dudes opinion, from the top of that pile. So if the category exists, does the cream of it not belong on the front page?

PK

The Onion (0, Flamebait)

csartanis (863147) | more than 5 years ago | (#26342987)

Why is this shit on the front page?

The guessed phrases kinda suck... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26343017)

One of the options was "The abortion went well".

Huh?

the Onion have been right before now... (5, Informative)

advocate_one (662832) | more than 5 years ago | (#26343069)

the five blade razor... [theonion.com]

First Post! (5, Funny)

hansamurai (907719) | more than 5 years ago | (#26343079)

with Macbook Wheel

8==D (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26343143)

8==D

Are you kidding me? (-1, Flamebait)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26343233)

Taco? Seriously, fuck off. This isn't Digg. Onion links belong there.

Well the iPhone has no keyboard (1)

hey (83763) | more than 5 years ago | (#26343277)

(I know this is a joke.)
The predicted 7 inch iBook will not have a keyboard. Will probably have a virtual keyboard like the iPhone.
So not to crazy to imagine a full sized laptop with a virtual keyboard.
Of course the wheel is silly.

The Next Generation (1)

mikael (484) | more than 5 years ago | (#26343279)

And the next generation version will replace the two-dimension wheel with a little sphere that can be rotated through the use of a finger - it will be called te MacBall.

LMAO (1)

No2Gates (239823) | more than 5 years ago | (#26343285)

I'll bet 50 bucks there would be a line at the door 25 people deep at the Apple stores on a joke release date.

Almost had me... (1)

rickb928 (945187) | more than 5 years ago | (#26343309)

...and now I want a wheel in place of my trackpad.

Damn you, Jobs!

argh (1)

revxul (463513) | more than 5 years ago | (#26343311)

For a second, I thought it was April Fools Day. Screw you, Slashdot, for making me think spring was here!

Obvious Publicity Stunt (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26343409)

This story is an obvious publicity stunt for CommonCents. I can't believe it got published.

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