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Stand-Up Comic Makes Science Funny

timothy posted more than 5 years ago | from the not-quite-as-cynical-as-tom-lehrer dept.

It's funny.  Laugh. 126

Hugh Pickens writes "The San Fransisco Chronicle is running a story about Brian Malow, a stand-up comedian who has showcased his science-centric stand-up humor for more than a decade in comedy clubs, at conventions and for corporate clients across the country. Fortunately, club patrons don't need a degree in quantum mechanics to appreciate one-liners like 'I used to be an astronomer, but I got stuck on the day shift,' 'I just started reading, "The Origin of Species." Don't tell me how it ends!' or that he 'attended a magnet school for bipolar students.' While his show is very rational and based on hard science, Malow cleverly infuses it with an abstract or surreal comic twist."Hugh Pickens continues: "Like observing that whenever his mother would lose weight, his father would gain weight, and then linking the two by a fundamental law of nature. 'It was like the Conservation of Mass within our family,' says Malow, adding that 'fat can neither be created nor destroyed.' Last year Malow performed for colleagues at NASA's Jet Propulsion Lab in Pasadena. 'We found his humor delightfully nerdy, and he fitted right in,' said Kevin Grazier, who is a planetary scientist and author. 'It's one thing to make people laugh when they're sitting in a darkened club room, with a few drinks in them. It takes real talent to be funny in the afternoon, in a work environment.' Malow's interest in science and nature also extends to his passion for insects, with Web site InsectPaparazzi, and he has even discovered a species of fly. 'Of course, I found it in Golden Gate Park,' he says. 'So it may have just been a tourist.'"

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A neutron walked into a bar and asked (4, Funny)

Average_Joe_Sixpack (534373) | more than 5 years ago | (#26411025)

"How much for a drink?"

The bartender replied, "For you, no charge."

Re:A neutron walked into a bar and asked (0, Troll)

dangitman (862676) | more than 5 years ago | (#26411035)

Gee, did you see that in a videogame somewhere?

Re:A neutron walked into a bar and asked (2, Funny)

DeadDecoy (877617) | more than 5 years ago | (#26411265)

Nah he probably saw it on slashdot.

Here's a funny joke (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26411425)

Stud dogs go about the whole sex thing rather differently than primates (or equines). Unlike us, male canines don't have an orgasm that involves a short, intense ejaculation. Instead, once they have become fully erect, they will have a continuous orgasm for from 10 to 45 minutes or longer. The "standard" procedure for dogs, when they are mating, is that the male "ties" with the bitch - which means that, after he has penetrated fully, his penis will develop a knot at its base that is several times wider than the rest of his shaft.

For reference, a 80 pound Golden stud dog might have, let's say, a cock that is 7 or 8 inches long when erect - but his knot will be at least as big around as a tennis ball. This knot swells inside the bitch, and so long as he remains erect the dogs are "tied." No, this isn't painful for her - canine females long ago developed an entire set of muscular supports for this process. Generally, once they are tied, most stud dogs prefer to step off and over, so he and the bitch are tail-to-tail. Theories abound on why this evolved - I have yet to see one that was truly convincing. Anyway, they'll stand like this, with the male having a continuous orgasm during the whole tie - until he starts to shrink and they pop apart. Bitches also have orgasms, and she'll likely have quite a few during the tie, as well - research has shown that her orgasms are essential to increasing the chances of pregnancy, due to muscular contractions.

Anyway. if a guy like me has a stud dog partner, one form of intimacy is for him to tie with us, anally. As young teenagers, many of us learned the hard way about the knot, and the tie - particularly back in pre-interweb days. So we'd suddenly find ourselves locked together, with this tennis-ball width cock inside us. Nowadays, I suspect most young zoos know all about this. However, some folks still have eyes bigger than their stomach, err their you-know-what.

It would not be accurate to say that I have a stream of visitors who show up at my house just for sex with my canine partners. However, it is true that I do not exercise any sort of unilateral control/ownership over the relationships my canine boys might develop with other people - they are adults, and if they desire to get frisky with another two-legger and I judge that the person is respectful and unlikely to do anything mean or stupid, I have no moral ground on which to say "oh, no, you aren't allowed - he can only have sex with me." That just makes no sense, so if there's a time when a friend is visiting and there's a spark between them and one of my partners, I'm ok with that. In truth, I think it's great to have the boys' enjoy other positive relationships and I love to see them happy, whatever the circumstances.

Many years ago, my friend Commander Taco was visiting - a zoo who had been active with his own stud dog for quite a few years. His boy was a breed that is not small, but is also somewhat known by old-school zoos as being, well, on average not so well-endowed relative to their body size. This friend had tied with his partner on a number of occasions - and he often talked about how intense and rewarding the experience was, for both of them. That's great, I said - while thinking that he'd probably not fare so well with a larger breed.

As it turns out, Taco and one of my canine friends hit it off quite clearly right from the get-go - the chemistry was there and the two of them seemed like they'd known each other for ages. After several visits, I could see that they were sort of getting closer and closer - my friend Taco was worried that I'd feel he was somehow intruding into my relationship with this handsome stud dog - who had been in my own family for close to a decade. Of course not, I told him - if you guys hit it off and things get steamy, I'd hardly throw cold water on it just so I can be all possessive and insecure. HOWEVER, I warned him, that handsome boy with whom you're making goo-goo eyes is much bigger than your own long-time partner.

I tried to be nice about this, but some zoos get their nose out of joint if you suggest their beloved might not be the most-endowed canine (or equine, or whatever) around. Taco was a bit like that - and right off the bat tried to convince me his boy was "really quite large for his body size," and who was I to argue? I did warn him that the stud dog he was considering, in my family, was somewhat over-endowed for his body size - and he was in the range of 120 pounds of low-bodyfat muscle. Beh, my friend said, no problem - I know what I'm doing. . .

Later that evening, after I'd gone to bed, I woke to the sound of toenails on the hardwood floor. There was also a bit of panting, a giggle here and there - not hard to figure out what was going on. Feeling a sense of impending doom, I made my presence known and sort of lurked in the background, sitting on the sofa and enjoying the huge, nearly-full moon casting shadows on the farm. The two boys were doing some sort of foreplay - it seemed cute to me, but I did (once again) warn Taco that this particular stud dog was also rather aggressive in his breeding - he'd sired many litters of wonderful pups, in his own career, and knew quite well how to get a proper tie with even inexperienced or skittish bitches. Yeah, yeah - my Taco was clearly not thinking with the had between his shoulders, but the one between his legs.

In a flash, the big stud dog was mounted on Taco - and this time he wasn't just going through the motions, or playing. In just a few thrusts, he was inside - and with all that muscle, he held himself tight as he began to swell. It doesn't take long - maybe 20 seconds. I'm still watching, from the sofa, somewhere between shocked and bemused. For the first ten seconds or so, Taco is quiet and still as a winter night - not a sound save the deep grunting from my stud dog as he was swelling with each heartbeat.

Then, reality started to intrude (pun intended). Commander Taco started to make this sort of whimpering sound - no words, just a low moan. Too late to turn back, I knew, so I held my tongue. Then, as my stud dog really began to take on his full size (which I knew from years of firsthand enjoyment was just under 10 inches in length with a knot just shy of softball size), my two-legged friend began to realize the error of his ways. This stud dog was, quite likely, at least double the width of his normal canine partner - and 3 or 4 inches longer. And, as reality is dawning on him, each heartbeat is causing the cock inside him to get bigger. . . and bigger. . . and bigger.

By now, Taco's positively crying - literally crying like a baby. No words, just sort of a quiet blubbering. He's smart enough to know there's no backing out now - and he didn't try anything stupid like pulling loose (which can, indeed, cause massive rectal tearing if done in haste - trust me, not fun). At this point my canine friend casually steps off from the usual "doggie style" position and, with years of practice, adjusts himself into the butt-to-butt position. And to add insult to (literal) injury, my canine friend has now plastered an absolutely massive grin on his face - when we say "shit-eating grin," this is it He's having the time of his life, tied with a new friend he's met, just starting into an orgasm that will go on for nearly 20 minutes. Not only does he not really know that his **** buddy is feeling like someone's put the better part of a baseball bat up his ass. . . I'm quite sure he doesn't care.

Just for good measure, I took a photo of the gigantic smile on the stud dog's face - nothing more than that, just his face and the grin to end all grins. Click.

My two-legged friend Taco is now officially gibbering - it's really a verb, I didn't know that before just then. He's somehow begging for it to "stop, oh please stop" - but every now and then there's an "oh god oh GOD he's amazing" thrown in, before he's back to "oh PLEASE make it stop OOOH stop stop stop." This goes on, as is par for the course, for just shy of 20 minutes, at which point my stud dog friend begins to subside, pops free (with a characteristically loud and gushing dis-connection), and lies down to clean himself up and help his cock back into its sheath.

In contrast, my two-legged friend has simply fallen over, and curled up into a fetal ball. Well, I think to myself, I don't see any blood. . . oh, wait, I do see blood, but not really that much so it's probably ok. I get him a blanket and try to offer kindness without intruding on his pain, and to be honest without s******ing. The words "I told you so" are hovering out there, but need not be spoken at that somewhat awkward time. I do ask: "are you going to be ok, or should we head to hospital?" In between ragged breaths, he responds "no hospital, not going to die" - and indeed my own judgment is that he's far from dying, though he may feel like that would be preferable to the pain he's in.

I get him a blanket, and a pillow and get him comfortable right there on the hardwood floor of the kitchen. And our canine Casanova? Well he's cleaned up, wandered over to give a big, wet, shameless kiss to his worse-for-the-wear sexual partner and he's already asleep on the sofa, snoring - with grin still present on his face. Remorse? Regret? Not a chance!

The next day, I was impressed to see that my guest was up and at the kitchen table, with his well-endowed playmate from the previous night sharing a dish of eggs and toast, when I came downstairs with the rest of the canine crew. Impressed, that is, until I noticed he wasn't in any rush to get up from the table - ever. Turns out, Taco had indeed suffered some serious internal bruising - in a few days, the discoloration has spread from his lower back (which still makes me laugh, sorry, because I can visualize exactly how far in that cock had gone and, sure enough, that's where the bruise mellows out - a good bit of the way up his back and towards his ribs) down his legs, and clear to his ankles. Both legs. It's spectacular. He's walking like a rehabbed accident victim for several days, and for weeks afterwards he looks as if he'd ridden a horse for too long (again, laughing as I type). It was more than a month before he'd healed up more or less ok, and even then I'd see him wince if he bent down too quickly.

Is it wrong for me to think this is funny? If it is, so be it - it's ****ing funny. The transformation from swaggering "oh I can take that big boy, I know what I'm doing" to hunched-over victim of a mind-expanding lesson in what "big" means when applied to stud dogs - all in the blink of an eye. Yes, it's definitely funny.

Of course, in those early weeks, he promised me he would NEVER do something like that again - NEVER tie with a dog bigger than his own long-term partner. And, he asked me with genuine indignation, how could I keep tying with that dog who had torn him up so badly? Didn't I know the danger I was in? I responded, casually, that I appreciated his concerns but, to put perspective on things he should remember that his dog compared to that stud dog who tore him up so badly, in terms of relative size, the same way that the tearer-upper compared to my Dane partner at the time. His eyes grew wide - comprehension dawned. . . "you don't tie with that monster, do you?" I glanced over at my beloved Dane who, looking up at me, thumped his tail a few times in flagrant collusion with my own thoughts. "Who, me? Tie with that massive dog? Now what kind of crazy fool would do such a thing?"

Re:Here's a funny joke (2, Funny)

Wandering Wombat (531833) | more than 5 years ago | (#26411485)

Punchline: Yo mamma's fat.

To bring it back to science (3, Funny)

hoytak (1148181) | more than 5 years ago | (#26411687)

Pull harder, mom. I miss you.

Re:To bring it back to science (-1, Offtopic)

enigma48 (143560) | more than 5 years ago | (#26415197)

Aha - free karma, although pointless, is mine today!

Source: http://xkcd.com/502/ [xkcd.com]

Re:Here's a funny joke (1)

Wandering Wombat (531833) | more than 5 years ago | (#26411615)

Wait, is this another "You're The Man Now, Dog" joke?

Re:A neutron walked into a bar and asked (4, Interesting)

Anthony_Cargile (1336739) | more than 5 years ago | (#26412033)

There are jokes on slashdot we "get" everyday without seeing - mainly Futurama quotes in the HTTP headers [network-tools.com] . I've known about this for a while, and before I discovered that (very useful) nwtools.com site, I would just telnet port 80 to get them. On that note, anyone know of a good futurama video site?

Re:A neutron walked into a bar and asked (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26412061)

shut up.

doesn't matter (1)

NotQuiteReal (608241) | more than 5 years ago | (#26412297)

it is better than the usual frosty piss shit. Anyhow, if you google it [google.com] you will see it is used often, unattributed.

Re:A neutron walked into a bar and asked (5, Funny)

zwekiel (1445761) | more than 5 years ago | (#26411173)

The proton told the electron something he just couldn't believe, so the electron asked the proton, "Are you sure?"

The proton replied: "I'm positive."

Yup, a career in standup is definitely in the cards for me.

Re:A neutron walked into a bar and asked (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26411285)

That was so funny I forgot to laugh... oh wait...

Re:A neutron walked into a bar and asked (3, Funny)

simcop2387 (703011) | more than 5 years ago | (#26411371)

I've always heard that one as Two hydrogen atoms are walking around and all of the sudden one of them says, "I think I've just lost my electron!" The other replies, "Are you sure?" The first says, "I'm positive!"

Re:A neutron walked into a bar and asked (4, Funny)

philspear (1142299) | more than 5 years ago | (#26411585)

Here's one I made up a while ago:

Fluoride says to oxygen "You're always so negative."

Oxygen says: "How ionic that you would say that."

Re:A neutron walked into a bar and asked (5, Funny)

thefekete (1080115) | more than 5 years ago | (#26412199)

So this bar walks into a guy... oh sorry, wrong frame of reference.

Re:A neutron walked into a bar and asked (2, Insightful)

Daengbo (523424) | more than 5 years ago | (#26412581)

I really enjoyed the first few episodes of "The Big Bang Theory" (until they went more mainstream) for the same reason I love Slashdot humor. I tried to show the series to a Comm. Arts major / friend of mine, and he just stared at me while I rolled on the floor laughing.

Re:A neutron walked into a bar and asked (3, Funny)

Mercuria (145621) | more than 5 years ago | (#26413831)

A beam walked into a bar, and the bartender asked it if it wanted anything. The beam replied, "Just a moment."

oblig. geek stand-up comedy: The Nerd Porn Auteur (2, Funny)

Maxmin (921568) | more than 5 years ago | (#26413587)

Re:A neutron walked into a bar and asked (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26411421)

What do you call KCl holding a knife?

A salt with a weapon!

A proton walked into a bar and exclaimed (1)

sentientbeing (688713) | more than 5 years ago | (#26411463)

"Good morning my good man! How much for one of your wonderful beverages?"

The bartender replied, "You sound positive."

The C Programming Disease (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26411579)

I think it's about time you assholes get out of your ivory tower and realize your smugness and your lousy programming language does nothing but keep Computer Science back 20 years. Big deal! your precious C language can access the hardware. Big Whoop! you have no build in print function. I think it's about time to stop masturbating to your boring interrupt calls and grow up. The world is evolving and if we keep outself stuck to that crud that is C, we will no achieve worth while computing. So many projects would be so much better if your legacy dated language wasn't chosen. Yeah, I'm looking at you Linux and GTK. Writing a successful GUI program in C is just as ridiculous and time consuming as it gets. Grow up and realize there are other languages that are better suited for work rather than self satisfactory masturbation you retards get. Fuck Kernighan and Richie, those guys wrote good stuff back in the 70s when the tool was needed for the job. So while you are hunting down malloc() calls because that GUI that took you 10 years to write and pissing on itself in memory leaks the rest of the world will actually be getting some work done.

#include <fuckyou.h>
 
    int main(){
/* A very useless C program */
 
        fuck_the_c_language(0);
        return 0;
    }

Re:The C Programming Disease (1, Funny)

Anthony_Cargile (1336739) | more than 5 years ago | (#26412137)

I completely agree. No matter how many times I've told people my signature was part of a larger cmd.exe prank, I was hiding the fact that I accidentally used that code for the real cmd.exe back when I was on the Microsoft NT team. It got me fired, because after the code shipped and users were complaining about freezing batch files, I was fired and since then I have burned my copy of The C Programming Language and started my own company.

My company is devoted to abandoning C, and we write device drivers in pure Java. We are also working on an operating system, codenamed "pleasework", coded from the ground up in java - we already have a GUI and everything, and are now just getting the BIOS and bootstrapping code to work, where we seem to have some trouble. Sadly, my company will be filing for chapter 11 bankruptcy pretty soon, and truth be known none of our Java device drivers have worked, and our OS team members keep leaving, saying the project is "impossible", although some tell me to use JNI, which is nothing but C again.

If things don't get better, I'll have to start another company, maybe this time writing drivers in Perl, but I completely agree - C should never be used, not in userland apps, drivers, operating systems, bootstrappers, or anything.

</sarcasm>

Re:The C Programming Disease (1)

Daengbo (523424) | more than 5 years ago | (#26412991)

So many projects would be so much better if your legacy dated language wasn't chosen. Yeah, I'm looking at you Linux and GTK. Writing a successful GUI program in C is just as ridiculous and time consuming as it gets.

This is probably why Gnome recommends writing new apps in Vala [slashdot.org] , which are later translated into ... ahem ... C before being compiled.

Math Joke anyone? (3, Funny)

Amazing Quantum Man (458715) | more than 5 years ago | (#26411731)

Remember, Math and alcohol don't mix. Please don't drink and derive!

Re:A neutron walked into a bar and asked (0, Offtopic)

MindlessAutomata (1282944) | more than 5 years ago | (#26412569)

Why did the two neutrons stop dating?

They just weren't attracted to each other.

Re:A neutron walked into a bar and asked (5, Funny)

Toonol (1057698) | more than 5 years ago | (#26412813)

Renee Descartes walked into a bar.

Bartender asked, "Would you like a drink?"

"I think not!" exclaimed Descartes, and disappeared.

Re:A neutron walked into a bar and asked (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26413087)

"How much for a drink?"

The bartender replied, "For you, no charge."

A Hydrogen ion was sobbing at a bar. The bartender asked him "What's wrong".
The ion sobbed "My electron has left me for good this time".
The bartender asked "Are you sure".
The ion replies, "Yes, I'm positive!"

Re:A neutron walked into a bar and asked (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26413795)

Two electrons walk into a bar. The first says, "I'd like a beer, please." The second one says, "Damnit, I wanted a beer!"

Re:A neutron walked into a bar and asked (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26415727)

No, it's okay, they can just share a beer. Whenever one of them wants a drink, one can hold the beer up while the other drinks some beer down. That's how the theory goes anyway, but you can't see it, because they won't share when anyone is observing.

Thanks, I'll be here all week! Try the Tacos!

Why did the chicken cross the road? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26411059)

Because the stand-up science comic performing at the theater wasn't very funny.

Re:Why did the chicken cross the road? (1)

CarpetShark (865376) | more than 5 years ago | (#26412015)

Exactly so. Making science funny isn't really an achievement, when the person doing the judging is into science. Geeks do tend to like geek jokes. Also, business people tend not to insult their hosts' entertainment too often. To their faces, at least.

I hope the jokes get better... (5, Insightful)

able1234au (995975) | more than 5 years ago | (#26411065)

I think Big Bang Theory does a good job of science jokes.

Re:I hope the jokes get better... (2, Insightful)

owlnation (858981) | more than 5 years ago | (#26411589)

I think Big Bang Theory does a good job of science jokes.

It does, I agree. It has great scripts and a talented cast. I just wish they could move away from the multi-camera sitcom format to a single camera show on location, without the studio audience. It would be ten times more funny in a drier, less mass-appeal format.

Re:I hope the jokes get better... (1)

able1234au (995975) | more than 5 years ago | (#26411635)

Does it have a studio audience? i thought it was a laugh track.

Re:I hope the jokes get better... (1)

Paradise Pete (33184) | more than 5 years ago | (#26412977)

Does it have a studio audience? i thought it was a laugh track.

If that's not a laugh track then they need to throw out that audience and get a new one. The absurdly enthusiastic and inappropriate laughs nearly ruin it.

Re:I hope the jokes get better... (1)

gyrogeerloose (849181) | more than 5 years ago | (#26413767)

Many TV productions that claim to be "filmed in front of a live audience" often use a professional audience--people who are paid to be wildly enthusiastic and to laugh at the merest suggestion of a joke. That's why the audience reaction seems so fake in certain situations; it is fake.

Re:I hope the jokes get better... (5, Informative)

Tablizer (95088) | more than 5 years ago | (#26414083)

"filmed in front of a live audience" often use a professional audience--people who are paid to be wildly enthusiastic and to laugh at the merest suggestion of a joke.

I was actually part of the studio audience for a Family Feud gameshow once (not paid). What they do is make you wait and wait such that you are so bored that ANYTHING is funny when the show finally rolls. In other words, sensory deprivation. (I'm not saying this is the only technique, but it's the one they used for that show.)
     

Re:I hope the jokes get better... (1)

zegota (1105649) | more than 5 years ago | (#26411779)

Are you kidding? 90% of it is "I'd like to find the area under her curves, durrr." We were doing that in high school, and it wasn't particularly funny then.

Re:I hope the jokes get better... (1)

ZiggyStardust1984 (1099525) | more than 5 years ago | (#26412707)

Are you kidding? 90% of it is "I'd like to find the area under her curves, durrr." We were doing that in high school, and it wasn't particularly funny then.

Yeah, ok Topper.

Re:I hope the jokes get better... (2, Interesting)

martinw89 (1229324) | more than 5 years ago | (#26412409)

I don't agree, but I have to admit I might not have a good opinion as I've only seen a little of the show.

Watching Big Bang makes me cringe. It seems like the nerd/blonde stereotypes would work well for a 30 second family guy joke, but I can't stand to watch it for a whole show. And, from what I saw, it seemed like they were just throwing in scientific-sounding words. The majority of the show seemed to be based on the nerd stereotype, not jokes based on science.

But, to each his own. I've never really liked sitcoms very much anyway so I'm definitely biased.

Re:I hope the jokes get better... (2, Funny)

onemorechip (816444) | more than 5 years ago | (#26413007)

Sometimes it's cringe-inducing. But I liked Sheldon's variation on rock/paper/scissors. To make it more interesting there were five choices, the two additional being lizard and Spock. For example, lizard poisons Spock; Spock disproves paper; etc.

Re:I hope the jokes get better... (3, Funny)

Toonol (1057698) | more than 5 years ago | (#26414449)

My kids and I use the "Jesus/Ninja/Robot" variant.

Re:I hope the jokes get better... (1)

Daengbo (523424) | more than 5 years ago | (#26413217)

I enjoyed the first few episodes before the studio tried to mainstream it too much. Those episodes were too geeky to be popular. In fact, the pilot opens with a joke about wave / particle duality. There are also several jokes early on about string theory that run like:

What's new in physics?

Nothing new has really happened in the last fifty years, unless you count string theory, and just about all you can say about that is "Oooh! Look! My math is internally consistent."

There's also an entire episode devoted to Schroedinger's cat.That kind of material is far enough into science that the listener probably needed to at least pay attention in freshman physics to get the joke. No prime-time show at that level can survive. As proof, my extremely bright friend who is a comm. arts major didn't get the pilot's jokes at all. He didn't understand the material and he didn't have any experience with geeks outside of me.

The blonde was originally just a device so that the nerds have to talk in a language comprehensible by normal folk.

If there were a "What Bing Bang character are you?" quiz, I'd be Howard.

Re:I hope the jokes get better... (2, Funny)

daveime (1253762) | more than 5 years ago | (#26415093)

In fact, the mere act of opening the box will determine the state of the cat, although in this case there were three determinate states the cat could be in: these being Alive, Dead, and Bloody Furious.

Re:I hope the jokes get better... (2, Interesting)

freespac3 (548049) | more than 5 years ago | (#26413457)

I am a studying a combined degree in engineering and physics, and I find big bang theory to be a most excellent show, and surprisingly not that cringe-inducing :P

The best thing I like about it is the writers gets the science right, something I have been very impressed about. Even the doodles on the blackboards are correct, in that they are formulas I am familiar with. Not to mention Sheldon has the same concerns about quantum teleportation as I do!! That is a topic that no show I have ever watched ever touched up on.

So perhaps it is a little cringe-inducing for some people, or its format doesn't appeal to you, but I would say they are not merely throwing scientific sounding words around.

Also Penny-the-blond gains more depth once you get past the first few episodes. My gf didn't like her initially due to the blond-nerd stereotype, but she has since consumed the entire first season and acknowledges Penny-the-blond as a valid character :-)

Cheers,
Steve

Re:I hope the jokes get better... (1)

martinw89 (1229324) | more than 5 years ago | (#26414361)

Ah, thanks for clearing that up. As I mentioned in my first post, I haven't seen much of the show so I probably wasn't familiar with the subject they were discussing. Maybe I'll give it another chance.

So, he's less funny than Bill Nye? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26411103)

Anyone wanna summarize the article and let us know how's that working for him?

Re:So, he's less funny than Bill Nye? (3, Funny)

Plaid Phantom (818438) | more than 5 years ago | (#26412741)

He's so hot he's exothermic!

So.. (3, Funny)

Creepy Crawler (680178) | more than 5 years ago | (#26411245)

Is this comedian unionized?

Nope, he's just really positive. :P

Is he faecal? (-1, Troll)

EmbeddedJanitor (597831) | more than 5 years ago | (#26411517)

No he's just crap!

Re:So.. (1)

narcberry (1328009) | more than 5 years ago | (#26411909)

If he were unionized he'd be telling us he's a lesbian. I'm pretty sure that's the only opening to a stand up routine.

Re:So.. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26412501)

whooooosh

Funny Clip of him on YouTube (5, Informative)

Faizdog (243703) | more than 5 years ago | (#26411313)

I searched for clips of him on YouTube.

Here's a really funny ~7minute video with highlights from a couple of his shows:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vn8uzB0eypk&feature=related [youtube.com]

The man is a genius.

Re:Funny Clip of him on YouTube (1)

HebrewToYou (644998) | more than 5 years ago | (#26411795)

He's also got some hilarious material up on Comedy.com [comedy.com] . The bit about Bed, Bath & Beyond was pretty damn funny.

Re:Funny Clip of him on YouTube (1)

Hurricane78 (562437) | more than 5 years ago | (#26411971)

I just watched it, and I don't understand how you can call that genius. (If you mean genius humor.)

It's just so la-la... Genius humor is not the "he he he he" kind, and also not the belly-laugh kind.
It's the kind where you are in one of two states: Either you are very excited, with a big smile, and nearly can't sit on your seat (pre-punchline), or you're like "Help, I can't breathe! HA HA HA HA HA Help!", while feeling the urge to literally roll on the floor, laughing (post-punchline).
And I can hardly imagine that reaction from this video. :)

Re:Funny Clip of him on YouTube (1)

SetupWeasel (54062) | more than 5 years ago | (#26413343)

As a comedian myself, I will say that it is very hard to show true comic genius in the sterilized world of corporate comedy. It's worse than clean comedy, it's like comedy without victims.

That said, it didn't do anything for me. He has confidence, but little spark.

Re:Funny Clip of him on YouTube (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26412027)

I actually saw this guy a few months ago at a welcome to grad school event. Even with my techy side I prefered the earlier comedians who joked about race and women than this guys nerdy jokes.

omg - you slashdotted youtube! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26412335)

he he.

Fitted? (2, Funny)

Captain Vittles (1096015) | more than 5 years ago | (#26411335)

'We found his humor delightfully nerdy, and he fitted right in,' said Kevin Grazier, who is a planetary scientist and author.

Ugh, really? It's hard to keep feeling superior to the artsies when other scientists are using words like 'fitted' in this context.

Re:Fitted? (5, Insightful)

sciencecomedian (1450249) | more than 5 years ago | (#26411923)

'We found his humor delightfully nerdy, and he fitted right in,' said Kevin Grazier, who is a planetary scientist and author. Ugh, really? It's hard to keep feeling superior to the artsies when other scientists are using words like 'fitted' in this context.

In Kevin's defense, he says he was misquoted. Seeing that appalled him, too. So you can still respect scientists.

Check the logs (3, Insightful)

ciaohound (118419) | more than 5 years ago | (#26411353)

It takes real talent to be funny in the afternoon, in a work environment.

I disagree. Slashdotters submit hilarious stuff from "work" most afternoons.

Re:Check the logs (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26413407)

It takes real talent to be funny in the afternoon, in a work environment.

I disagree. Slashdotters submit hilarious stuff from "work" most afternoons.

I agree, and they get modded Insightful!

Don't tell me how it ends! (5, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26411455)

'I just started reading, "The Origin of Species." Don't tell me how it ends!

Turns out the zebra did it.

Re:Don't tell me how it ends! (4, Funny)

boarder8925 (714555) | more than 5 years ago | (#26411661)

'I just started reading, "The Origin of Species." Don't tell me how it ends!

Turns out the zebra did it.

Damn you!

Re:Don't tell me how it ends! (1)

TimSSG (1068536) | more than 5 years ago | (#26412353)

I think the zebra was just horsing around; he did not mean to do it. Tim S

Re:Don't tell me how it ends! (1, Interesting)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26413869)

Snake kills bumblebee!

Re:Don't tell me how it ends! (2, Insightful)

Drakkenmensch (1255800) | more than 5 years ago | (#26415697)

You fool! You've altered the outcome by observing it!!!

Why did the mathematician... (5, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26411525)

Q: Why did the mathematician have complex numbers on his telephone?

So he could call all his imaginary friends.

Re:Why did the mathematician... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26414769)

The number you have dialled is imaginary. Please rotate your phone 90 degrees and try again.

anyone can be funny (0)

moniker127 (1290002) | more than 5 years ago | (#26411527)

The biologist asked the chemist "How do you find the total charge of an ion?" The chemist says "Step #1 - decide if the cation is one showing variable charge. If so, a Roman numeral will be needed. In this case, iron does show variable charge." "If a variable charge cation is involved, you must determine the Roman numeral involved. You do this by computing the total charge contributed by the polyatomic ion. In this case, NO3Â has a minus one charge and there are two of them, making a total of minus 2." "Therefore, the iron must be a positive two, in order to keep the total charge of the formula at zero." "Step #2 - determine the name of the polyatomic ion. Nitrate is the name of NO3Â." "The correct name is iron(II) nitrate. The common name would be ferrous nitrate. " The biologist says "Oh. Thank you."

Getting out of a speeding ticket (4, Funny)

Faizdog (243703) | more than 5 years ago | (#26411607)

Whenever I've gotten a speeding ticket, I've thought about arguing with the Judge that the cop was lying on the ticket. He noted both where I was and how fast I was going, and since he can only measure one of those things, he's clearly lying about the other.

Re:Getting out of a speeding ticket (4, Funny)

Amazing Quantum Man (458715) | more than 5 years ago | (#26411703)

There's an old joke about a guy who got a ticket for running a red light. He argued in court that the Doppler Shift made the light appear green.

The judge agreed with him that the original ticked was no good, and then fined him... for speeding.

Re:Getting out of a speeding ticket (5, Informative)

MrNaz (730548) | more than 5 years ago | (#26412429)

Lambda(red) = 620nm
Lambda(green) = 520nm
f = c / L
f(red) = 4.84*10^14Hz
f(green) = 5.77*10^14Hz

Assuming that he observed the light over a distance of 50m, there are this many waves of light in the red spectrum:

50 / (620*10^-9) = 8.0645*10^7

In order to "greenshift" that, he needs to cause this many waves to incident his retina:

50 / 520*10^-9) = 9.615*10^7

So he needs to travel at a speed such that he only views 8.0645/9.615 oscillations he otherwise would if he were stationary.

The redshift formula is:

f(final) = f(emit) + f(emit) * v/c

So:
f(final) = 5.77*10^14Hz
f(emit) = 4.84*10^14Hz
c = 3*10^8m/s

v = c * ( ( f(f) - f(e) ) / f(e) )
= 3*10^8*((5.77*10^14 - 4.84*10^14)/4.84*10^14)
= 5.76*10^7m/s

= 207,520,611 km/h

That's one HELL of a speeding ticket.

Re:Getting out of a speeding ticket (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26412953)

That problem was in my physics textbook.

Re:Getting out of a speeding ticket (4, Funny)

WoodenTable (1434059) | more than 5 years ago | (#26414185)

A speeding ticket for going 207,520,611 kph?! But this whole area is zoned as a hyperspace express route! That's way below the speed limit. And the maximum will be even higher when they finally get rid of that big rock in the way, I imagine.

What's this judge up to, I wonder...

Re:Getting out of a speeding ticket (1)

mk2mark (1144731) | more than 5 years ago | (#26414735)

That's the joke [/McBane]

Re:Getting out of a speeding ticket (1)

FilterMapReduce (1296509) | more than 5 years ago | (#26412395)

Nice. More on the Newtonian level, my high school physics teacher said that police don't really issue speeding tickets, since the ticket will list your direction of travel at the time of the infraction. So it's really a velocity ticket.

Actually, he instructed us to correct the police officer on this if we were ever pulled over. He was a funny guy.

Re:Getting out of a speeding ticket (1)

rpillala (583965) | more than 5 years ago | (#26413201)

This won't work if the cop has a partner and a stopwatch. By combining d=rt with the Mean Value Theorem [wikipedia.org] , they can write you a ticket without measuring your speed.

Re:Getting out of a speeding ticket (1)

Gorath99 (746654) | more than 5 years ago | (#26414985)

Ah, that's one of many Quantum Cop jokes [galactanet.com] from Casey & Andy. (Not saying you stole it, just that C&A did it too.) Wish that comic was still alive...

Chemical reactions - they're a blast! (5, Interesting)

GuineaPigMan (663444) | more than 5 years ago | (#26411721)

I'd credit Bill Nye with being one of the first to make science funny. Maybe he wasn't as good as this guy, but I always appreciated the dry humor as a kid.

Science rules!

Re:Chemical reactions - they're a blast! (1)

TaoPhoenix (980487) | more than 5 years ago | (#26412181)

"Oh, Bill Nye, he showed us how to put frozen carbon dioxide into non-alcoholic drinks. I always appreciated the Dry humor."

Tom Lehrer, MIT Mathemematician, Musical Comic (4, Interesting)

kafka47 (801886) | more than 5 years ago | (#26411839)

This story reminds me of Tom Lehrer, an MIT professor of mathematics that had a penchant for song-writing and performing. And he was really quite hilarious.

e.g. the famous "chemical elements" song :
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DYW50F42ss8 [youtube.com]

Kate and Anna McGarrigle, "NaCl" (1)

Nefarious Wheel (628136) | more than 5 years ago | (#26411933)

Look up that little ditty -- about a love story between two atoms. "...Sodium cried, 'What a gas - be my bride! And I'll change your name from Chlorine to Chloride..." One of the greats.

Re:Tom Lehrer, MIT Mathemematician, Musical Comic (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26412133)

I live for this stuff!

Re:Tom Lehrer, MIT Mathemematician, Musical Comic (1)

Mendenhall (32321) | more than 5 years ago | (#26412641)

Do you really think the song 'Fight Fiehcely, Hahvahd' came from an MIT professor?

Re:Tom Lehrer, MIT Mathemematician, Musical Comic (1)

kafka47 (801886) | more than 5 years ago | (#26412759)

Harvard alumnus, MIT prof, eventually UCSC, etc etc etc etc yawn...

Re:Tom Lehrer, MIT Mathemematician, Musical Comic (1)

popmaker (570147) | more than 5 years ago | (#26414261)

Which in turn reminds me of this song, by the Klein Four Group: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UTby_e4-Rhg [youtube.com]

Quantum Physics (5, Funny)

DJ_Perl (648258) | more than 5 years ago | (#26411917)

Q: A Quantum Physicist was in bed with a paramour, when his wife walked in. What did he say?

A: Wait, I can explain Everything! It's not what it looks like!

Re: discovering a species of fly (5, Informative)

sciencecomedian (1450249) | more than 5 years ago | (#26412355)

Correction: I didn't discover a new species of fly - but I did take a picture that may be the first known occurrence of a particular species in this part of the world (the Nearctic): http://bugguide.net/node/view/21487 [bugguide.net] (but it's a species known in other parts of the world)

Re: discovering a species of fly (5, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26412727)

You're pretty fly for a science guy

Re: discovering a species of fly (2, Funny)

GaryOlson (737642) | more than 5 years ago | (#26413013)

You mean he regurgitates the same material and then laps it back up after the audience has had a reaction?

Hah! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26412761)

FTFA:

And when Malow quips that he "attended a magnet school for bipolar students," even English majors will chuckle, subconsciously recalling some distant high school science fact.

English students don't know that magnets have poles. Geek wars, begin!

*First casualty due to each side's belief that he is a double-agent*

Re:Hah! (3, Funny)

gyrogeerloose (849181) | more than 5 years ago | (#26413709)

English students don't know that magnets have poles

Hey, I was an frickin' art major and I know that that magnets have poles.

Check his website (2, Insightful)

onemorechip (816444) | more than 5 years ago | (#26412961)

If you look carefully that's a Greek theta in his last name, so the correct transliteration is Malthw.

He's not the first... (1)

bostoys (1450335) | more than 5 years ago | (#26413153)

Randall Munroe already did it with XKCD. More geared towards the /. audience, but come on: "Man, I suck at this game. Can you give me a few pointers?" "0x3A28213A, 0x6339392C, 7363682E." "I hate you."

Re:He's not the first... (1)

Amazing Quantum Man (458715) | more than 5 years ago | (#26413953)

Translation of the pointers (interpreted in ASCII): :(!:c99,sch.

Re:He's not the first... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26414945)

Fail on two counts:

1) You've assumed endianess.
2) They're pointers, not scaler values.

Re:He's not the first... (1)

daveime (1253762) | more than 5 years ago | (#26415117)

Scaler Values = Fish Filleter's Ethics.

I think you meant SCALAR ?

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