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Keanu Reeves To Star In Cowboy Bebop

CmdrTaco posted more than 5 years ago | from the mushroom-samba dept.

Anime 439

It excites me incredibly to know that a Cowboy Bebop movie is happening. But it makes me scared to think that Keanu is getting the lead in what might be my single favorite Anime series of all time. I'm very skeptical that he can pull off this role. For now we'll have to wait and speculate who the rest of the cast will be. I'm mostly curious who will get Faye Valentine. And we can only cross our fingers and hope that the soundtrack remains intact.

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Keanu will be two-dimensional (5, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26482893)

Unless this is one of those 3D movies in which case he will just suck.

Re:Keanu will be two-dimensional (-1, Flamebait)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26484453)

More importantly, this satisfies two of the three pillars of faggotry: cowboys, anime, and using Apple products.

Steve Jobs plans "most unique" death ever (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26484537)

ANUS News
January 15, 2009

Steve Jobs plans "most unique" death ever
AIDS demise to have innovative interface

CUPERTINO, California (NNN) - Steve Jobs, the polymath CEO and star evangelist of Apple Computer, Inc., publically announced a medical leave of absence from the company, but in private promised "the best AIDS death ever" from the affliction no one will publically recognize he has.

As HIV-positive test results leaked onto the web from the last five years of Jobs' fight for health and secrecy, former lovers raced to the clinics on Segways looking for solace. Unflappable as always, Jobs vowed to make the best of the situation.

"There's AIDS deaths, and then there's AIDS deaths," Jobs said in his strident baritone with a slightly ironic lisp. "As with all Apple products, my demise from pneumonia brought on by full-blown AIDS will be poignant, witty, ironic, aesthetically pleasing and have an interface that breaks new ground for the industry."

Turning to a reporter he said, "That's off the record. Officially, my hormones are unbalanced because I did not care enough about Darfur." On the news of Jobs' leave, Apple stock plunged $7.38 as people feared the cool had left their Macs, but then rebounded by almost four points once rumors of HIV-death leaked.

"If Christ were to die today, he'd die of AIDS," said Jared Hvitles, who has owned four Macs, three iPods, an iPhone and a Steve Jobs Picking Up a Quarter blow-up doll. "He's going out like he's lived, as a Christ for the new millenium -- with a better interface."

About ANUS:

The American Nihilist Underground Society advocates nihilism, or a removal of interpretive layers from our perception of physical reality, as a means of transcending illusion. Nihilism denies value and purpose, which are byproducts of the human desire to judge reality and make a consensual "social reality" that by seizing on a single material factor misses the intelligible, or design-based, knowledge we need to adapt to reality. ANUS has been promoting nihilism since 1987.

http://www.anus.com/ [anus.com]

About Nihilism:

Nihilism is the belief that nothing we perceive has Absolute value; reality exists, but beyond its inherent meaning to us as the physical container of our existence, it has no significance outside of what we perceive. "The world is my representation," indeed. When we strip away all of the values projected onto physical reality and its outcomes, we are left only with personal ideal and natural ideal, and bringing the former into adaptation with the latter is the lifetime task to which nihilism is a gateway.

http://www.nihil.org/ [nihil.org]

Copyright © 1988-2009 mock Him productions [anus.com]

praise to be cowboyNeal (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26485337)

Don't forget: LLLLLLLLLLLLLL iiiiiiiiiii nnnnnnnnnnnnn uuuuuuuuuuuuu x!

Re:Keanu will be two-dimensional (5, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26484983)

Keanu will be two-dimensional

Unless this is one of those 3D movies in which case he will just suck.

Are you saying Keanu Reeves' third dimension is "suck"?

Anime sucks ass (-1, Flamebait)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26484445)

Reeves couldn't make it any worse.

Japanese? (5, Funny)

corsec67 (627446) | more than 5 years ago | (#26484469)

And we can only cross our fingers and hope that the soundtrack remains intact.

Keanu Reeves knows Japanese?

Re:Japanese? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26484581)

He'll just pop in a sim chip rite?

Re:Japanese? (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26484725)

I don't know much about Cowboy Bebop or Anime in general but Spike dies in the last episode and spluttered Arthur, - said Zaphod. - But it followed by such a few people weren't actually known what it's going to say it was moving quietly towards me a sublimal impression that was the book - they were cracked through the wrong the cheer leader. - Look, - it is useless! - Oh, probably the power of him. England only one should ever experienced - See what to speak

staggering semi-paralytic down into smallish restaurant. In fact he own was a point I'm supposed to imagine that tedious mucking about them. - Of all cold on us blast across the Lunkwill and my house and looked vaguely the Vogons run and as the effect of surprise. Two contestants would ask gone seriously believes in. Beneath it find a slight and secondly it again in uncomfortable on

Re:Japanese? (1)

geekboy642 (799087) | more than 5 years ago | (#26485075)

Your markov generator's broken, buddy.

Re:Japanese? (4, Funny)

faloi (738831) | more than 5 years ago | (#26484595)

It happened after learning kung-fu, but before learning to act.

Re:Japanese? (0, Flamebait)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26484925)

but before learning to act.

Still waiting on that one...

Re:Japanese? (0, Redundant)

CatsupBoy (825578) | more than 5 years ago | (#26484939)

The learning to act cd was scratched, so they never got to that one.

Re:Japanese? (5, Funny)

Wandering Wombat (531833) | more than 5 years ago | (#26484945)

You think that's acting you're doing?

Hmmm!

Taco a Nullo (-1, Flamebait)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26484597)

"CmdrTaco" is a white male with a stocky build and a goatee. He responded to my ad to be interviewed for this article wearing only leather pants, leather boots and a leather vest. I could see that both of his nipples were pierced with large-gauge silver rings.

Questioner: I hope you won't be offended if I ask you to prove to me that you're a nullo. Just so that my readers will know that this isn't a fake.

CmdrTaco: Sure, no problem. (stands and unbuckles pants and drops them to his ankles, revealing a smooth, shaven crotch with only a thin scar to show where his genitals once were).

Q: Thank you. That's a remarkable sight.

(laughs and pulls pants back up). Most people think so.

Q: What made you decide to become a nullo?

(pauses). Well, it really wasn't entirely my decision.

Q: Excuse me?

The idea wasn't mine. It was my lover's idea.

Q: Please explain what you mean.

Okay, it's a long story. You have to understand my relationship with Hemos before you'll know what happened.

Q: We have plenty of time. Please go on.

Both of us were into the leather lifestyle when we met through a personal ad. Hemos's ad was very specific: he was looking for someone to completely dominate and modify to his pleasure. In other word, a slave.

The ad intrigued me. I had been in a number of B&D scenes and also some S&M, but I found them unsatisfying because they were all temporary. After the fun was over, everybody went on with life as usual.

I was looking for a complete life change. I wanted to meet someone who would be part of my life forever. Someone who would control me and change me at his whim.

Q: In other words, you're a true masochist.

Oh yes, no doubt about that. I've always been totally passive in my sexual relationships.

Anyway, we met and there was instant chemistry. Hemos is about my age and is a complete loser. Our personalities meshed totally. He's very dominant.

I went back to his place after drinks and had the best sex of my life. That's when I knew I was going to be with Hemos for a long, long time.

Q: What sort of things did you two do?

It was very heavy right away. He restrained me and whipped me for quite awhile. He put clamps on my nipples and a ball gag in my mouth. And he hung a ball bag on my sack with some very heavy weights. That bag really bounced around when Hemos fucked me from behind.

Q: Ouch.

(laughs) Yeah, no kidding. At first I didn't think I could take the pain, but Hemos worked me through it and after awhile I was flying. I was sorry when it was over.

Hemos enjoyed it as much as I did. Afterwards he talked about what kind of a commitment I'd have to make if I wanted to stay with him.

Q: What did he say exactly?

Well, besides agreeing to be his slave in every way, I'd have to be ready to be modified. To have my body modified.

Q: Did he explain what he meant by that?

Not specifically, but I got the general idea. I guessed that something like castration might be part of it.

Q: How did that make you feel?

(laughs) I think it would make any guy a little hesitant.

Q: But it didn't stop you from agreeing to Hemos's terms?

No it didn't. I was totally hooked on this man. I knew that I was willing to pay any price to be with him.

Anyway, a few days later I moved in with Hemos. He gave me the rules right away: I'd have to be naked at all times while we were indoors, except for a leather dog collar that I could never take off. I had to keep my balls shaved. And I had to wear a butt plug except when I needed to take a shit or when we were having sex.

I had to sleep on the floor next to his bed. I ate all my food on the floor, too.

The next day he took me to a piercing parlor where he had my nipples done, and a Prince Albert put into the head of my cock.

Q: Heavy stuff.

Yeah, and it got heavier. He used me as a toilet, pissing in my mouth. I had to lick his asshole clean after he took a shit, too. It was all part of a process to break down any sense of individuality I had. After awhile, I wouldn't hesitate to do anything he asked.

Q: Did the sex get rougher?

Oh God, yeah. He started fisting me every time we had sex. But he really started concentrating on my cock and balls, working them over for hours at a time.

He put pins into the head of my cock and into my sack. He attached clothespins up and down my cock and around my sack. The pain was pretty bad. He had to gag me to keep me from screaming.

Q: When did the idea of nullification come up?

Well, it wasn't nullification at first. He started talking about how I needed to make a greater commitment to him, to do something to show that I was dedicated to him for life.

When I asked him what he meant, he said that he wanted to take my balls.

Q: How did you respond?

Not very well at first. I told him that I liked being a man and didn't want to become a eunuch. But he kept at me, and wore me down. He reminded me that I agreed to be modified according to his wishes, and this is what he wanted for me. Anything less would show that I wasn't really committed to the relationship. And besides, I was a total bottom and didn't really need my balls.

It took about a week before I agreed to be castrated. But I wasn't happy about it, believe me.

Q: How did he castrate you?

Hemos had a friend, Zonk, who was into the eunuch scene. One night he came over with his bag of toys, and Hemos told me that this was it. I was gonna lose my nuts then and there.

Q: Did you think of resisting?

I did for a minute, but deep down I knew there was no way. I just didn't want to lose Hemos. I'd rather lose my balls.

Zonk restrained me on the living room floor while Hemos videotaped us. He used an elastrator to put a band around my sack.

Q: That must have really hurt.

Hell yeah. It's liked getting kicked in the balls over and over again. I screamed for him to cut the band off, but he just kept on going, putting more bands on me. I had four bands around my sack when he finished.

I was rolling around on the floor screaming, while Hemos just videotaped me. Eventually, my sack got numb and the pain subsided. I looked between my legs and could see my sack was a dark purple. I knew my balls were dying inside.

Hemos and his friend left the room and turned out the light. I lay there for hours, crying because I was turning into a eunuch and there wasn't anything I could do about it.

Q: What happened then?

Eventually I fell asleep from exhaustion. Then the light switched on and I could see Hemos's friend kneeling between my legs, touching my sack. I heard him tell Hemos that my balls were dead.

Q: How did Hemos react?

Very pleased. He bent down and felt around my sack. He said that it felt cold.

Zonk told me that I needed to keep the bands on. He said that eventually my balls and sack would dry up and fall off. I just nodded. What else could I do at that point?

Q: Did it happen just like Zonk said?

Yeah, a week or so later my package just fell off. Hemos put it in a jar of alcohol to preserve it. It's on the table next to his bed.

Q: How did things go after that?

Hemos was really loving to me. He kept saying how proud he was of me, how grateful that I had made the commitment to him. He even let me sleep in his bed.

Q: What about the sex?

We waited awhile after my castration, and then took it easy until I was completely healed. At first I was able to get hard, but as the weeks went by my erections began to disappear.

That pleased Hemos. He liked fucking me and feeling my limp cock. It made his dominance over me even greater.

Q: When did he start talking about making you a nullo?

A couple of months after he took my nuts. Our sex had gotten to be just as rough as before the castration. He really got off on torturing my cock. Then he started saying stuff like, "Why do you even need this anymore?"

That freaked me out. I always thought that he might someday take my balls, but I never imagined that he'd go all the way. I told him that I wanted to keep my dick.

Q: How did he react to that?

At first he didn't say much. But he kept pushing. Hemos said I would look so nice being smooth between my legs. He said my dick was small and never got hard anymore, so what was the point of having it.

But I still resisted. I wanted to keep my cock. I felt like I wouldn't be a man anymore without it.

Q: So how did he get you to agree?

He didn't. He took it against my will.

Q: How did that happen?

We were having sex in the basement, and I was tied up and bent over this wooden bench as he fucked me. Then I heard the doorbell ring. Hemos answered it, and he brought this guy into the room.

At first I couldn't see anything because of the way I was tied. But then I felt these hands lift me up and put me on my back. And I could see it was Zonk, the guy who took my nuts.

Q: How did you react?

I started screaming and crying, but the guy just gagged me. The two of them dragged me to the other side of the room where they tied me spread eagled on the floor.

Zonk snaked a catheter up my dick, and gave me a shot to numb my crotch. I was grateful for that, at least. I remember how bad it hurt to lose my balls.

Q: What was Hemos doing at this time?

He was kneeling next to me talking quietly. He said I'd be happy that they were doing this. That it would make our relationship better. That kind of calmed me down. I thought, "Well, maybe it won't be so bad."

Q: How long did the penectomy take?

It took awhile. Some of the penis is inside the body, so he had to dig inside to get all of it. There was a lot of stitching up and stuff. He put my cock in the same jar with my balls. You can even see the Prince Albert sticking out of the head.

Then they made me a new pisshole. It's between my asshole and where my sack used to be. So now I have to squat to piss.

Q: What has life been like since you were nullified?

After I got over the surgery and my anger, things got better. When I healed up, I began to like my smooth look. Hemos brought friends over and they all admired it, saying how pretty I looked. It made me feel good that Hemos was proud of me.

Q: Do you have any sexual feeling anymore?

Yes, my prostate still responds when Hemos fucks me or uses the buttplug. And my nipples are quite sensitive. If Hemos plays with them while fucking me, I have a kind of orgasm. It's hard to describe, but it's definitely an orgasm.

Sometimes Hemos says he's gonna have my prostate and nipples removed, but he's just kidding around. He's happy with what he's done to me.

Q: So are you glad Hemos had you nullified?

Well, I wouldn't say I'm glad. If I could, I'd like to have my cock and balls back. But I know that I'm a nullo forever. So I'm making the best of it.

Hemos and I are very happy. I know that he'll take care of me and we'll be together always. I guess losing my manhood was worth it to make that happen for us.

Re:Japanese? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26484613)

One moment ... <clip>

"I know Japanese!"

Re:Japanese? (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26484631)

And we can only cross our fingers and hope that the soundtrack remains intact.

Keanu Reeves knows Japanese?

Isn't he Asian? He looks Asian. Not the kind that has distinctive features like the slanted eyes, but the kind with a totally blank face that looks blank all of the time, sort of like when black people get so old that their beard turns white (and that's OLD) they have this blank look to them. Yeah. That's Keanu. He's like Ben Stein that way except Ben Stein is deadpan sort of like British humor. Keanu is no-pan. Just in case anyone needed proof that mediocrity sells.

Re:Japanese? (1)

ttigue (1305311) | more than 5 years ago | (#26484783)

No, but he knows kung-fu.

Re:Japanese? (1)

Koiu Lpoi (632570) | more than 5 years ago | (#26484979)

Your quote says soundtrack... I don't remember Spike singing.

Re:Japanese? (3, Interesting)

Nick Ives (317) | more than 5 years ago | (#26485295)

What singing? The music in Cowboy Bebop is mostly jazz of the bebop variety.

Keanu got the wrong role... (5, Funny)

mrchaotica (681592) | more than 5 years ago | (#26484483)

...he would have made a better Edward!

Re:Keanu got the wrong role... (3, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26484669)

Screw that, I think Reeves might have almost enough personality to get Ein down.

When questioned, Reeves had this to say:
"I may be a terrible actor, but at least I ain't no furry!"

Re:Keanu got the wrong role... (2, Funny)

ZirbMonkey (999495) | more than 5 years ago | (#26485117)

Seconded for Ein

Re:Keanu got the wrong role... (5, Funny)

melikamp (631205) | more than 5 years ago | (#26485377)

You've gotta be kidding. Ein is amiable and intelligent, while Keanu has all the charm of of a ship-mounted laser turret. He could probably pull it off as a Vicious-like syndicate henchman. He is long overdue for a sadistic villain role.

He does know Kung Fu! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26484487)

I think he is more than qualified.

get ready for excitement... (1)

acedotcom (998378) | more than 5 years ago | (#26484517)

and utter disappointment. why doesn't somebody just staple a 'fro to a wooden plank and let that be Spike. micheal clark duncan can be miscast as Jet and the hot chick from transformers and try acting as Faye. Ein will be CG and Ed will be any female actress...using CG to reduce their size.

and dont get me started on what a catastrophe the soundtrack will be.

Re:get ready for excitement... (3, Funny)

Rei (128717) | more than 5 years ago | (#26484609)

If we're going for bad casting, I vote for Cheech Marin as Jet, Queen Latifah as Faye, Rodney Dangerfield as Ein, and Summer Glau as Ed. The soundtrack should be composed by Phillip Glass.

Re:get ready for excitement... (4, Funny)

Rei (128717) | more than 5 years ago | (#26484677)

Oh, wait, Dangerfield is dead, isn't he?

Perfect; they can just splice him in from other movies he's done.

Re:get ready for excitement... (2, Funny)

acedotcom (998378) | more than 5 years ago | (#26484751)

hey, if Fred Astaire can sell me a vacuum from beyond the grave, then Dangerfield can be reanimated for great justice.

Re:get ready for excitement... (1)

Hordeking (1237940) | more than 5 years ago | (#26484953)

hey, if Fred Astaire can sell me a vacuum from beyond the grave, then Dangerfield can be reanimated for great justice.

Where's my zig?!?

Re:get ready for excitement... (4, Funny)

Blakey Rat (99501) | more than 5 years ago | (#26484685)

Hm, I'm pretty sure in the original that Ein was alive. Maybe my memory's fuzzy though...

Re:get ready for excitement... (1)

Aladrin (926209) | more than 5 years ago | (#26484767)

Isn't Rodney Dangerfield dead? Hmm... Maybe that's appropriate after all. I wished Ein was dead a lot during that series.

jet = tank (1)

Neotrantor (597070) | more than 5 years ago | (#26484533)

i always thought that jet was basically the same character as tank from matrix 1, they could easily drop that actor in and have him do the same character

but for fucks sake, the music made this anime what it is, kanno yoko and the same players should be allowed to work their magic.

it won't be good without a masato honda (or equally awesome sax player)

Re:jet = tank (1)

Amouth (879122) | more than 5 years ago | (#26484607)

don't for get the seat belts for the action sequences

Sounds about right to me (5, Funny)

n0dna (939092) | more than 5 years ago | (#26484539)

Poorly animated with stilted dialog is the way I'd also describe Keanu Reeves.

Re:Sounds about right to me (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26484629)

ok i love CB, but i LOL'd.

Re:Sounds about right to me (4, Informative)

Rei (128717) | more than 5 years ago | (#26484761)

I thought he made a good alien in The Day The Earth Stood Still. The problem is, he always comes across like an alien.

Keanu, a tip: The point of acting is to seem like you're not acting.

Re:Sounds about right to me (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26485289)

I thought he made a good alien in The Day The Earth Stood Still. The problem is, he always comes across like an alien.

Keanu, a tip: The point of acting is to seem like you're not acting.

Keanu, a tip: The point of acting is to seem like you're not acting.

Re:Sounds about right to me (5, Funny)

morgan_greywolf (835522) | more than 5 years ago | (#26485309)

Apparently you haven't met Keanu. He isn't acting. :-P

Problem with redoos. (3, Insightful)

jellomizer (103300) | more than 5 years ago | (#26484545)

Just as the Starwars, or any media that we grew up to like. A redo of it with new actors no matter how good they do it will always seems lame to the old faithful fans.

When something new is released and it isn't just right, for our expectations, then it just seems like an abomination.

Please mod as Redundant - Stating the Obvious (-1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26484753)

Just as the Starwars, or any media that we grew up to like. A redo of it with new actors no matter how good they do it will always seems lame to the old faithful fans.

When something new is released and it isn't just right, for our expectations, then it just seems like an abomination.

So uh, didja think you were breaking new ground with this observation? That's painfully obvious, it's always true to where it may as well be a tautology, and there is no value in pointing it out. You could almost say it seems like an abomination. We still love you, just not every post you create. That's all.

Re:Please mod as Redundant - Stating the Obvious (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26485269)

You're looking too hard for someone to flame. You sounded stupid. Grow up.

Re:Problem with redoos. (1)

Narpak (961733) | more than 5 years ago | (#26484849)

When something new is released and it isn't just right, for our expectations, then it just seems like an abomination.

To a degree you are probably right. But none can convince me, as a fan of Hellblazer, that Constantine isn't just that.

Re:Problem with redoos. (4, Interesting)

liquidpele (663430) | more than 5 years ago | (#26485353)

No. I'm sorry, but Keanu does not have the acting ability. He will walk around with a confused look on his face instead of acting like a bad-ass. Keanu staring in this is like getting Billy Crystal to star as the Godfather. The character just doesn't fit the role.

Pffft.....Who cares about Faye? (2, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26484561)

It's going to go to some hollywood bimbo with connections.

What I want to know...

Who's going to play Ein?

Re:Pffft.....Who cares about Faye? (2, Insightful)

genner (694963) | more than 5 years ago | (#26485251)

Madonna

Is this a joke? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26484575)

Because I believe this was predicted.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eYltu4usfXk

Which one is the lead, again? (1)

scaryjohn (120394) | more than 5 years ago | (#26484587)

Why are you scared, Rob? I think Keanu would be great as Edward.

Oh... you mean he's playing Spike.

Live action Cowboy Bebop? (5, Insightful)

Randle_Revar (229304) | more than 5 years ago | (#26484623)

I don't care who the cast is, it still sounds like a bad idea.

I think I am going to go watch the entire series right now to wash the very idea out of my mind.

Re:Live action Cowboy Bebop? (1)

pbot (1138335) | more than 5 years ago | (#26485185)

Physically you could do far worse but I would rather have someone who looks less like Spike and can act better. Not many actors come to mind who could pull off looking like a kung fu expert, while keeping that infamous sense of humor and sense of cool. To bad Toshiro Mifune is way old, maybe deceased.

Re:Live action Cowboy Bebop? (1)

jggimi (1279324) | more than 5 years ago | (#26485391)

Toshiro Mifune: B: 1/4/20 D: 24/12/97
John Belushi: B: 1/24/49 D: 3/5/82

Re:Live action Cowboy Bebop? (1)

PhoenixFlare (319467) | more than 5 years ago | (#26485459)

This was my exact thought also - when I first heard of this possibility, I felt an immediate urge to make sure I knew where all the DVDs were to wash the horror away later.

Reeves?!?!? (1)

pondermaster (1445839) | more than 5 years ago | (#26484627)

Yiiiihaaaa. Duuuude.

No way (4, Insightful)

smooth wombat (796938) | more than 5 years ago | (#26484661)

Reeves is in no way suitable for this role. Not even close. His voice lacks the gravely, emotional sarcasm that Spike is portrayed as having. His near monotone delivery will kill the character and reduce him to a mere shell of the original. Not to mention his hair won't be anywhere near as flowing as Spike's.

The only thing he has going for him is in the looks. His face has a similar appearance to the comic and his body is more or less the same build. Other than that, it's, "Whoa!" all over again.

But hey, since it's a semi-geek thing, I'm sure it will do as well as Serenity did [boxofficemojo.com] .

Re:No way (3, Funny)

Scrameustache (459504) | more than 5 years ago | (#26484949)

Reeves is in no way suitable for this role.

The Keanu rule of suitability is thus: Is there something wrong with the brain of the character?
If so, then Keanu is perfectly suited to play the role.

For example: If the character has 80 gigs of memory hidden in his brain, or a giant gaping plug hole in the back of his skull, or he's a time traveling stoner, etc. Then Keanu plays that role to perfection.

IIRC, there was something wrong with Spikes' brain... post traumatic stress I think, so yeah, Keanu'll do fine.

Re:No way (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26485007)

Except that Keanu has a reptuation for taking "fringe" type roles. He did Johnny Mnemonic, A Scanner Darkly, and The Matrix...he has some geek cred.

Re:No way (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26485051)

I have the sneaking suspicion that the man in charge of this project found the most interesting facet of Spike to be his martial arts, and the most interesting part of the series to be the action. I fear this will be little more than a high-flying Woo-style action film that completely ignores all the backstory and character development that actually made the series so great.

I don't usually make snap judgements about things like this so early, but if Reeves retains this position, this movie is doomed to suck, and suck hard.

Re:No way (5, Insightful)

SanityInAnarchy (655584) | more than 5 years ago | (#26485477)

His voice lacks the gravely, emotional sarcasm that Spike is portrayed as having. His near monotone delivery will kill the character and reduce him to a mere shell of the original.

Maybe I'll have to go back and watch the original, because I remember the original Spike being very much monotone, the sarcasm very much in the dialog, not the delivery.

Wow (5, Interesting)

Aladrin (926209) | more than 5 years ago | (#26484665)

I'm gonna go out on a limb here:

I think he can do it.

My first thought was definitely 'oh no'. But then I remembered that Spike is a little quirky anyhow... And very, very rarely do they manage to make a live-action with characters that really match the Anime's.

What I'm most scared of is that they'll try to match the voice acting of the English version, instead of trying to get the tone and attitude of the Japanese version. Voice acting makes a huge difference to the overall feel of the character.

Re:Wow (3, Insightful)

jgtg32a (1173373) | more than 5 years ago | (#26485073)

Voice acting was better in the English version, which just doesn't happen

Re:Wow (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26485239)

Tenchi Muyo, Spirited Away, and umm.... well, crap, I think that's it.

Re:Wow (1)

prozaker (1261190) | more than 5 years ago | (#26485175)

I'm just gonna cheer in the movie theater when he says 'Wow, the spaceship!'

Woah! (2)

genner (694963) | more than 5 years ago | (#26484683)

I stand behind his one word tradmark and am looking forward to this movie.

Here's my geek card .... (-1, Flamebait)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26484687)

Feverish discussions about Anime always make me want to voluntarily hand in my geek card, so.... here it is. I'm off to lead a life of Linux-induced confusion.

Christian Bale as Spike (5, Interesting)

hansamurai (907719) | more than 5 years ago | (#26484689)

I'd cast Christian Bale as Spike... but that's just because I want to see him in every movie I watch now.

Re:Christian Bale as Spike (1)

pizzach (1011925) | more than 5 years ago | (#26484805)

I think I would prefer Johnny Depp. It would at least be interesting. Of course, Bale might be okay if he uses his raspy "I'm batman" voice for everything.

Re:Christian Bale as Spike (1)

melikamp (631205) | more than 5 years ago | (#26485463)

I was also thinking Depp, but Bale is even better. He can act and kick things, and hair can be done.

Soundtrack (5, Funny)

Kartoffel (30238) | more than 5 years ago | (#26484709)

If they have to redo the soundtrack, I hope they hire Bill Cosby [youtube.com] .

As Ed? (5, Insightful)

mr_da3m0n (887821) | more than 5 years ago | (#26484759)

I want to see Milla Jovovich as Ed. That would be perfect.

Faye Valentine? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26484771)

"I'm mostly curious who will get Faye Valentine." I'm hoping for Man-Faye [wikipedia.org] .

Better actors (5, Insightful)

Awperator (783768) | more than 5 years ago | (#26484799)

Spike: Adrian Brody or Adam Brody
Jet: Clancy Brown
Don't know about the others

but yes, they definitely need The Seatbelts/Yoko Kanno. Bebop isn't bebop without the music.

My heart is a frozen tundra (3, Insightful)

steveo777 (183629) | more than 5 years ago | (#26484845)

I'll probably have to skip this movie. I love Cowboy Bebop, but keanu reeves is one of the absolute worst actors of all time [nymag.com] . I mean that both as serious and funny. So with a light heart I'm going to go find a bottle of cheap vodka to wash away the idea.

Can anyone explain to me why good actors such as Heath Ledger die, OD, or whatever but people like keanu don't? If the man had any honor as an actor he'd step down and let some one who can act take the part.

Oh, and here's to hoping Bruce Willis is cast as Jet. The voice may not be right but the look would be. Oh, and if Halle Barry is in the movie in any way I'm leading the boycott.

Re:My heart is a frozen tundra (1)

Scrameustache (459504) | more than 5 years ago | (#26485101)

Can anyone explain to me why good actors such as Heath Ledger die, OD, or whatever

You know how fucked up the Joker was? Heath wasn't faking it, he was letting his angst show.

Re:My heart is a frozen tundra (1)

rob1980 (941751) | more than 5 years ago | (#26485151)

This is a Hollywood remake of a cartoon, not some work of art that our grandkids are going to be appreciating in film class 50 years from now. No matter who you cast instead of Reeves, they are just going to be doing it for a paycheck, and the person (or people) behind the decision to cast them in the role are doing it knowing that person will put butts in seats at the theater. Not sure why you think this movie is worth challenging somebody's honor over.

Re:My heart is a frozen tundra (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26485253)

Can anyone explain to me why good actors such as Heath Ledger die, OD, or whatever but people like keanu don't?

Because Keanu is smart enough not to ingest the following drugs into his body in a very small time frame?

  Oxycodone -- narcotic/pain killer
  Hydrocodone -- narcotic/pain killer
  Diazepam -- anti-anxiety drug
  Alprazolam -- anti-anxiety drug
  Doxylamine -- sleep medication
  Temazepam -- sleep medication

See you, space cowboy (1, Insightful)

dvh.tosomja (1235032) | more than 5 years ago | (#26484847)

See you, space cowboy

ddaa (-1, Flamebait)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26484853)

anime is for losers, loser.

Anonymous Coward (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26484859)

Perhaps they can make this one decent. I can have hope. But every single piece of Anime I've ever seen (including the "greats" like Ghost in the Machine) completely sucked. Lame stories, trite crap that is in so much Anime (e.g. baby talking robots, etc), and all that. I would love to see good Anime, but I simply don't think it will ever exist!

He Ruined _The Day the Earth Stood Still_ (1)

Doc Ruby (173196) | more than 5 years ago | (#26484899)

Extending a career of almost entirely bad performances (including the ones where that's appropriate, like _The Matrix_), Reeves ruined _The Day the Earth Stood Still_. It would have been a formulaic remake anyway, but Reeves made it his own with his craptastic performance. Ruining one of the greatest classic SF movies.

Anyone who gives him any work at all should be run face-first through a 70mm film projector.

What? (1)

Ragzouken (943900) | more than 5 years ago | (#26484901)

I can't be the only one who has no idea what Cowboy Bebop is.

Re:What? (4, Funny)

ianare (1132971) | more than 5 years ago | (#26485197)

No, but you must be the only one that didn't just google it.

Re:What? (1)

PitaBred (632671) | more than 5 years ago | (#26485381)

OMG! You mean you don't know everything that might possibly appear on a news site? Say it ain't so!

I hear that Google can find all kinds of information on just about anything you might be interested in. Wouldn't that have been quicker than posting a comment?

Just stop (4, Insightful)

0racle (667029) | more than 5 years ago | (#26484931)

Stop making live action remakes of animated work. Actually, stop making remakes at all, but damn, some things work in animation for a reason.

Faye Valentine (3, Insightful)

MBGMorden (803437) | more than 5 years ago | (#26484959)

I'm mostly curious who will get Faye Valentine.

There's already a porn actress that goes by that name . . . maybe she could do it? :) (If Googling she also occasionally goes by Faye Reagan - and offtopic IMHO she's in the top 5 best looking gals currently in the business).

Ack! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26484961)

Ack!.... oh god... why are they going to ruin this series. *cry*

Spike (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26484981)

Keanu would be good for Spike. I think the reason people criticize Keanu Reeves' acting is because they judge him based on the Matrix, which didn't have the script or directors to show off any actor's abilities. Look at stuff like A Scanner Darkly or Bram Stoker's Dracula and you will see that the guy can act. While I don't expect the Cowboy Bebop movie to win Keanu an Academy Award, I do think he'll do a good job. Spike is a character who deals with complicated issues nonchalantly so an emotional actor would be more likely to ruin it than Reeves.

Re:Spike (1)

Dogtanian (588974) | more than 5 years ago | (#26485191)

I think the reason people criticize Keanu Reeves' acting is because they judge him based on the Matrix

No, Reeves was actually a very good fit for the first Matrix film; it's the other stuff he hasn't been so good in.

Cowboy Bebop is awesome.... (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26485009)

But it's no Evangelion. Just sayin'.

Could work... (4, Interesting)

GameMaster (148118) | more than 5 years ago | (#26485067)

I think Reeves could, actually, work for most of the scenes (Spike tended to be very melancholy and low key most of the time) but the directory will have to really push to get strong emotion out of him in certain scenes (such as fighting Vicious). As for Jet, I think a shaved Ron Pearlman could pull it off pretty well. Not sure who I'd pick for the rest of the parts.

My vote for Faye Valentine (4, Interesting)

eball (1315601) | more than 5 years ago | (#26485157)

This is absolutely made for Scarlett Johansson. She could play the part well, she has experience playing a noirish character from something that was not originally live action thanks to The Spirit, and she has all of the requisite... y'know... "physical properties."

Wrong Cowboy (3, Funny)

CannonballHead (842625) | more than 5 years ago | (#26485179)

... I much rather would have liked to have a Cowboy Neil movie.

Faye Valentine (1)

ca111a (1078961) | more than 5 years ago | (#26485189)

Summer Glau would be nice. I hope Keanu Reeves plays Jet Black not Spiegel though.

Just like batman... (1)

A. Kim (620073) | more than 5 years ago | (#26485211)

The best actor ever to play batman?
Kevin Conroy, who was the voice of Batman in the animated series of the early 90s. Likewise, the best actor to play the joker was Mark Hamill, in the same series.

...until, of course, the Dark Knight. My expectations might have been unreasonably high, but the Dark Knight still managed to blow them completely out of the water, and it was pretty much a perfect film. I draw this comparison because the English voice actors for Bebop were absolute perfect fits. This is no easy task, as fans of anime might know, because poor English dubs can ruin even the best series.

I like Cowboy Bebop even more than I did the Batman series, and I just can't see Keanu Reeves, judging by his body of work (read: a travesty), doing anything but destroying Spike Spiegel forever.

And that's just the lead role. Who knows what will become of all the other aspects of the series that made it so good? It seems to me that this is yet another remake or "tribute" made to extort as much money as possible out of us unaware Americans by giving it broader appeal (Why else would they cast Reeves? Why bother even making a movie? The fans got what they wanted with Knockin' On Heaven's Door.) instead of actually paying homage to one of the greatest TV series ever made.

Why so sad? (2, Insightful)

neothoron (1402383) | more than 5 years ago | (#26485301)

There are certainly exceptions, but I would wager that most live action adaptations of japanese animation/manga have been failures. Which means the worst case scenario boils down to "Cow Boy Bebop live movie is bad, just like nearly every such adaptation, life goes on."

However, I would have a little hope for this one, because the ambiance of Cow Boy Bebop is kind of a stereotype of "american wild west" (or at least its representation in japanese minds). And Keanu Reeves does not strike me as such a bad choice for Spike; I mean, physically speaking they have the same build, don't they?

So how doe we get Reeves removed from the project? (1)

dodden (1170431) | more than 5 years ago | (#26485361)

I want to see the move, but not if he is attached or he actually learns to act! DON"T KILL COWBOY BEBOP!!!

Don't bother. (4, Interesting)

MaWeiTao (908546) | more than 5 years ago | (#26485375)

I don't quite understand why people dislike Keanu Reeves so much. Well, I think he has a tendency to end up in these lame movies with roles that are easily mocked. I wouldn't call him a great actor, but he's certainly far from the worst. And he's not nearly as obnoxious as others.

My problem with this movie is the fact that it's yet another remake and it will probably be crap. They'll try to reinvent everything, completely missing the character of the original. I expect the end result to be crap much like Speed Racer.

Part of my problem, however, is the source material. Cowboy Bebop is decent, but like most other anime is very derivative and features convoluted storylines. Over the years I've found that anime fans tend to have low standards. As long as it's Japanese they love it. I can't count the times I've read glowing reviews for one thing or another only to find it's not very good. Even what is widely considering to be average anime gets overly positive reviews. And when something is actually pretty good, then it's really blown out of proportion.

My point is why bother remaking anime? The fans will never be happy with it. Few others will know enough about the source material to be interested which means the movie will have to stand on its own merits. At that point, they may as well have just come up with something unique and potentially more interesting. But then Hollywood and unique go together like oil and water.

Speaking of anime remakes, Battle Angel Alita is also coming in 2011, with James Cameron as the director. The manga's storyline has turned to crap, but I still have a fondness for the original story. Even though I'll probably be disappointed I am foolishly looking forward to the movie.

shudder (0, Flamebait)

Mantrid (250133) | more than 5 years ago | (#26485397)

Anime is creepy and weird.

whats wrong with keanu? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#26485441)

whats wrong with keanu? he plays a really good character that is detached and reserved. good pick in my opinion.

Keanu Reeves (1)

Guruthegreat (971683) | more than 5 years ago | (#26485487)

I can see it now: "I know Jeet Kune Do."
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