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Dinosaurs Could Hold Basketballs, But Not Dribble

timothy posted more than 5 years ago | from the always-subject-to-revision dept.

Science 73

Gre7g writes "Long before the invention of the photocopier, mud was the ideal way to preserve an image of your butt. 'We got lucky with this one [sitting] on a slope,' which brought its hands closer to the ground, said study author Andrew Milner of the St. George Dinosaur Discovery Site at Johnson Farm. Full disclosure: My wife did the artistic reconstruction."

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Use Cases (5, Funny)

fm6 (162816) | more than 5 years ago | (#27083729)

Long before the invention of the photocopier, mud was the ideal way to preserve an image of your butt.

Some of us still consider mud to be far superior. Photocopiers may be more convenient, but they really can't compare with mud for capturing detail without distortion.

Now I'm going to be flamed by a lot of Xerox fan boys. For the last time: the best technology is the technology that works best for you!

Re:Use Cases (1)

knapper_tech (813569) | more than 5 years ago | (#27084157)

Flatulence could become entrapped in the mud, adding porosity to the surface and totally losing a portion of the information. For butt self-portraits, xerox copiers will not produce this defect...assuming it's a defect. The user may consider it to be an indicator of healthy digestive activity and even strive to achieve the effect. Of course, it seems like some unfair stereotyping to say that people who sit in mud are likely to have this problem anyway. Maybe it's insensitive to say it's even a problem for mud-butt-pressers.

Re:Use Cases (2, Funny)

NotBornYesterday (1093817) | more than 5 years ago | (#27084727)

Mud would also obscure any, ahem, solid farts.

Re:Use Cases (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#27087273)

Did you see the fish with the transparent head? We're talking frikkin' sharks with frikkin' lasers inside its frickin' head.

http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2009/02/photogalleries/fish-transparent-head-barreleye-picture/index.html

Re:Use Cases (1)

mooingyak (720677) | more than 5 years ago | (#27088043)

This is the most absurd post I've ever read. Maybe this was true 15 years ago. You moronic mudophiles think that because you hear a squishy sound when you sit in the mud it's superior to Xerox. This really insults the BCT (Butt Capture Technology) advances that Xerox's researchers have made in recent years. It's really gotten to a point where mud just can't compete. Anyone who does Butt Captures professionally has known this for years now.

Re:Use Cases (1)

fm6 (162816) | more than 5 years ago | (#27092405)

Oh, right, your fancy BCT can unflatten your butt. Get real!

I think you just like having your posterior irradiated. Hope you're not planning to have kids!

Re:Use Cases (1)

mooingyak (720677) | more than 5 years ago | (#27096145)

I love the smell of irradiated posterior in the morning.

Re:Use Cases (1)

antifoidulus (807088) | more than 5 years ago | (#27089465)

But consider the distribution problems that mud presents. With a scanner/copier I can scan my butt and send it round the world in seconds, lets see mud do that!

Plus, you insert a mud imprint of your butt into your boss's presentation.

Re:Use Cases (1)

antifoidulus (807088) | more than 5 years ago | (#27089515)

you insert = you cannot insert

Re:Use Cases (1)

somersault (912633) | more than 5 years ago | (#27094209)

you insert = you cannot insert

You sound like my girlfriend.

Re:Use Cases (1)

fm6 (162816) | more than 5 years ago | (#27092463)

Go write for TV. What would you rather have, a quality product, or a big audience?

Casting of Body parts (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#27083731)

Cast of Gre7g's wife? [brightonbodycasting.com]

Re:Casting of Body parts (1)

symes (835608) | more than 5 years ago | (#27083791)

Clearly there are a lot of openings in body casting

Re:Casting of Body parts (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#27083979)

Yep ... even the dear wife's middle name is KY ... Gre7g, does she buy the lube or manufacture it?

Re:Casting of Body parts (1)

Hognoxious (631665) | more than 5 years ago | (#27084533)

Excellent, it was about time I changed my desktop wallpaper.

Dinos Basketball Team (1)

whtmarker (1060730) | more than 5 years ago | (#27083755)

This looks like research from the University in Alberta (Edmonton) that the U of C Dinos [godinos.com] are guilty of a traveling violation [wikipedia.org] .

Man, (1)

Paranatural (661514) | more than 5 years ago | (#27083859)

These people put waaay too much effort into making fund of dinosaurs.

Re:Man, (1)

GundamFan (848341) | more than 5 years ago | (#27091929)

Was that the most subtle pun today or a typo?

The world may never know.

Clever girl (2, Funny)

GrumblyStuff (870046) | more than 5 years ago | (#27083867)

Yet another reason to fear raptors....

Re:Clever girl (2, Insightful)

reverseengineer (580922) | more than 5 years ago | (#27084389)

Speaking of which, what does this mean for the Toronto Raptors [wikipedia.org] ?

Re:Clever girl (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#27084455)

That they can't play basketball?

Re:Clever girl (1)

antdude (79039) | more than 5 years ago | (#27084829)

Oh they can, but not very well. ;)

Re:Clever girl (1)

dem0n1 (1170795) | more than 5 years ago | (#27090979)

Oh they can, but not very well. ;)

Isn't that also the answer to "Anyone can sing."

Toronto Raptors! (3, Funny)

antdude (79039) | more than 5 years ago | (#27084789)

Fear these Toronto Raptors [nba.com] because they can hold basketballs, dribble, and sometimes shoot!

Re:Toronto Raptors! (1)

Iorek (68393) | more than 5 years ago | (#27090953)

I was ready to post a "Cue the Raptors jokes" comment... Nice. :-)

Dinosaurs can hold my cock for all I care (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#27083875)

Fuck 'em!

Where's the basketball? (2, Insightful)

biocute (936687) | more than 5 years ago | (#27083879)

Well, I did read the friendly article and no where could I see any reference to basketball.

Re:Where's the basketball? (3, Informative)

Gre7g (801284) | more than 5 years ago | (#27083963)

Sorry. National Geographic reduced the content way down to just the highlights. The original research is about the angles of their wrists and how we could see that in the mud imprints, but I thought it would be better to post the big name link rather than the high detail one.

Re:Where's the basketball? (1)

Qzukk (229616) | more than 5 years ago | (#27084097)

Unless you have to pay for the research, please keep in mind that in future submissions, you can have more than one link in the body of your submission. Even if it's just <a href="...">More details here</a>

Re:Where's the basketball? (-1, Troll)

Hognoxious (631665) | more than 5 years ago | (#27084421)

You thought, did you? Well I think you're a fucking imbecile.

Re:Where's the basketball? (1)

jd (1658) | more than 5 years ago | (#27084585)

Well, where's the more detailed reference in the comments, then? :)

Re:Where's the basketball? (1)

DerekLyons (302214) | more than 5 years ago | (#27085651)

Yet here, where people are asking for high detail, you still forgo linking it.

Re:Where's the basketball? (1)

Gre7g (801284) | more than 5 years ago | (#27086319)

I posted it a little earlier in this thread. Here it is again: http://www.plosone.org/article/info:doi/10.1371/journal.pone.0004591 [plosone.org]

Re:Where's the basketball? (1)

DerekLyons (302214) | more than 5 years ago | (#27087601)

Didn't see it, hadn't been moderated high enough, my apologies.

Re:Where's the basketball? (2, Informative)

Peeet (730301) | more than 5 years ago | (#27085037)

Basically it is saying that Dinosaurs held their hands in a palms inward fashion rather than a palms down fashion. Palms in can hold a basketball but you need to put your palm facing down to dribble it. Obscure, not in the original link, and citing basic sports knowledge - I know, not usual Slashdot fare, eh?

Re:Where's the basketball? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#27086385)

Basically the headline writer has spent too much time on Fark.

Re:Where's the basketball? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#27095913)

Basically the headline writer has spent too much time on Fark.

THIS.

But wait... (1)

InterruptDescriptorT (531083) | more than 5 years ago | (#27083935)

How do you explain Yao Ming then?

it is satan himself (4, Funny)

circletimessquare (444983) | more than 5 years ago | (#27083959)

who wishes us to believe dinosaurs could evolve to hold a basketball. the holy truth is of course intelligent dribbling, probably taught by 3 point all star jesus himself to intelligent basketball playing dinosaurs on jurassic half courts

Re:it is satan himself (1)

Gat0r30y (957941) | more than 5 years ago | (#27084085)

You owe me a keyboard and my dignity. Soda just came out my nose. And thank you sir.

how dare you laugh at (1)

circletimessquare (444983) | more than 5 years ago | (#27084205)

what god has revealed, in his infinite wisdom, to an internet troll ;-)

You forgot to add . . . (1)

SpeedyGonz (771424) | more than 5 years ago | (#27087137)

who wishes us to believe dinosaurs could evolve to hold a basketball. the holy truth is of course intelligent dribbling, probably taught by 3 point all star jesus himself to intelligent basketball playing dinosaurs on jurassic half courts

... that he teached those dinos just before the tournament finals of 5500 bc

Re:it is satan himself (1)

fractoid (1076465) | more than 5 years ago | (#27087495)

"intelligent dribbling"? I thought that was less the domain of Raptor Jesus and more the domain of Stephen Hawking...

A triumph for science! (1)

Inf0phreak (627499) | more than 5 years ago | (#27084027)

They are beginning to puzzle the events of Godzilla vs Barkley [thatguywit...lasses.com] (*) together at least!

*: Warning! Contains flash video and may make you laugh uncontrollably at horrible plot.

Re:A triumph for science! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#27090599)

Have to check this after work...

This site is blocked by the Your Web Content Filter Policy.

URL: http://www.thatguywiththeglasses.com/videolinks/linkara/at4w/3459-gozilla-vs-barkley

Reason for restriction: Forbidden Category "Gay and Lesbian Issues"

New Extinction theory! (2, Funny)

erroneus (253617) | more than 5 years ago | (#27084055)

There are plenty of theories about how the dinosaurs met their near-simultaneous end, but with the information provided in the article, I think I have an idea worth investigating!

Dinosaur Dodgeball Elimination Deathmatch!

If they can hold basketballs, then they can hold dodgeballs. And dribbling is not needed for dodgeball! So it all makes sense now!

Wait, what... (2, Insightful)

Arancaytar (966377) | more than 5 years ago | (#27084087)

What the hell do the dinosaur, the basketball and the mud have in common here?

Am I the only one to whom this reads like a kind of dadaist ramble?

Re:Wait, what... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#27084243)

They have nothing in common. It's just a shitty summary written by a furry. Seriously, check his website.

Re:Wait, what... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#27084671)

I asked myself the same question.

Idunno. If the dinosaur was dribbling on the beach that could be muddy. But TFA doesn't say anything about dribbling or basketballs. Those are only mentioned in TFS.

This looks like another one of those slashdot mysteries where TFS has evident relationship to TFA.

Re:Wait, what... (1)

Neon Aardvark (967388) | more than 5 years ago | (#27084905)

Fossilized mud-print -> angle of wrists -> palms up not down -> could hold basketball.

Re:Wait, what... (1)

camperdave (969942) | more than 5 years ago | (#27086099)

So, let me get this straight. One individual dinosaur leaves some palm up hand prints in the mud, and suddenly the thousands of species of therapods spread out over the millions of years can't play basketball? They don't have any bones, just a mudprint, so how could they tell it would dislocate its shoulder to make a palm down print? You can't tell range of motion of a limb from a single print in the mud.

Re:Wait, what... (2, Funny)

TapeCutter (624760) | more than 5 years ago | (#27086627)

"So, let me get this straight. One individual dinosaur leaves some palm up hand prints in the mud, and suddenly the thousands of species of therapods spread out over the millions of years can't play basketball?"

That's right, the global conspiracy to deny the fact that dinosaurs could dribble isn't science, hell it's not even sport, it's politics - specifically the IOC, NBA, and the Chinese government are to blame.

Re:Wait, what... (1)

camperdave (969942) | more than 5 years ago | (#27090197)

That's right, the global conspiracy to deny the fact that dinosaurs could dribble isn't science, hell it's not even sport, it's politics - specifically the IOC, NBA, and the Chinese government are to blame.

Sadly, that's a better explanation than what's in the National Geographic article.

Put down the crack pipe (1)

Jabbrwokk (1015725) | more than 5 years ago | (#27094059)

I had the same reaction. Ass... mud... dinosaur... basketball... *headasplode*

Seriously, how did this get approved? It has nothing to do with the article.

The actual newsworthiness of the article is that the fossil prints are the first found of a meat-eating dinosaur's front limbs. No fucking basketballs anywhere in the article.

The find has shaken up paleontologists' understanding of how dinosaurs evolved into modern birds.

Please don't approve any more submissions from "Gre7g" until he gets his substance abuse problem under control.

Could hold a basketball but couldn't dribble? (1)

dreemernj (859414) | more than 5 years ago | (#27084177)

Yet another thing I have in common with dinosaurs.

Re:Could hold a basketball but couldn't dribble? (1)

Culture20 (968837) | more than 5 years ago | (#27084865)

Take a heavy dose of pain medication. You'll be dribbling in no time.

They may not have been able to dribble (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#27084213)

But they really could drool.

Utah (2, Insightful)

LBArrettAnderson (655246) | more than 5 years ago | (#27084401)

Happened in Utah. Tagged as 'mormons'

extinction via weak back court (2, Funny)

roesti (531884) | more than 5 years ago | (#27084545)

Now we know why the dinosaurs went extinct. You can't survive in this world without a decent guard rotation.

Still, England's guard rotation is still methodical and precise, and their empire is slowly diminishing. There's no accounting for team chemistry, I suppose.

In other words ... (2, Funny)

PPH (736903) | more than 5 years ago | (#27085187)

...they're a lot like the Oklahoma City Thunder.

Re:In other words ... (1)

gangien (151940) | more than 5 years ago | (#27085859)

you steal a crappy NBA team, what ya expect?

whoa... (1)

MrPinstripeCom (848671) | more than 5 years ago | (#27085411)

biggest. puffin. [wikipedia.org] ev3r. and I for one welcome our new Mega-Puffin-saurus overlords.

Well ofcourse! (1)

nog_lorp (896553) | more than 5 years ago | (#27085995)

Dribble is much harder to hold than a basketball. It drips out of your hands!

Worst artistic reconstruction ever (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#27086537)

Are you married to an intellectually challenged chimpanzee? Seriously, the average monkey could do a better job drawing the scene than the pathetic waste of space your wife created.

Yes, but... (1)

Locke2005 (849178) | more than 5 years ago | (#27086717)

What the world really wants to know is: could they slam dunk?

Re:Yes, but... (1)

thewils (463314) | more than 5 years ago | (#27086851)

Depends if they were able to make the baskets.

This [zazzle.com] would seem to be evidence that they could...

Goddamnit timothy (1)

MrMista_B (891430) | more than 5 years ago | (#27087283)

Stop hurting Slashdot.

Worse abstract ever (0, Troll)

tsa (15680) | more than 5 years ago | (#27088221)

Oh boy that must be the worst abstract ever. I couldn't make anything of it. It's about dinosaurs who want to preserve images of their bottoms, an one of them put its hands closer together? I have to read the fine article to find out what this is all about. I guess this is a scheme concocted by Taco to get more people to read the articles.

Irrelevant (1)

j_166 (1178463) | more than 5 years ago | (#27092801)

Basketballs would have been relatively tiny in giant dinosaur hands, so they would probably have gripped them in their dinosaur fists rather than in the palms like modern man. So it doesn't really matter which way their wrists were oriented.

Also, the dinosaurs would have eaten the basketballs, thinking they were cleverly shaped poppy air eggs. To the primitive dinosaur palette, this would have been something of a delicacy or novelty, like pop rocks are to modern man.

Re:Irrelevant (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#27093927)

so they would probably have gripped them in their dinosaur fists rather than in the palms like modern man

But if they took two[1] steps like that, they'd be called for travelling.

[1] Or whatever. Not my favourite sport.

Re:Irrelevant (1)

j_166 (1178463) | more than 5 years ago | (#27094765)

Would *you* want to be the one who calls the penalty on the T-rex?
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