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How Do I Make My Netbook More Manly?

ScuttleMonkey posted about 5 years ago | from the transforming-cute-into-manly dept.

It's funny.  Laugh. 993

basementman writes "I recently purchased a 10 inch white MSI wind. As you can see it's a small computer and it's good for what I use it for. I get a lot of comments from women saying it is 'cute' or 'adorable.' Not the good kind of cute that will get me the attention I want though, the kind of cute that says they think I have a different presence than I actually want to portray. So how can I make my netbook more manly, or at least have some witty line to respond to the their comments?" Hopefully basementman didn't get a netbook with the hopes of it getting him some action, but what cool mods (or witty one-liners) have others used to salvage their dignity from hardware that is "a good size"?

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Stickers... (5, Funny)

PhotoJim (813785) | about 5 years ago | (#27393803)

Heavy metal stickers. Lots of them!

Re:Stickers... (1)

twmcneil (942300) | about 5 years ago | (#27393989)

I put large flaming skull stickers on my blue NC-10. I think it looks nice plus if it were to get "lost" at the airport, it'd be easy to identify walking away from me too.

Re:Stickers... (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 5 years ago | (#27394027)

Do an Eddie Van Halen 5150 treatment...

Re:Stickers... (4, Funny)

77Punker (673758) | about 5 years ago | (#27394181)

Heavy metal stickers. Lots of them!

Some Judas Priest stickers will show them you're not gay!

Obligatory Serious Answer (5, Insightful)

thesolo (131008) | about 5 years ago | (#27393807)

Maybe, just maybe, someone calling a small laptop "cute" is not a reflection on your sexual identity or masculinity. And maybe you should take it as a compliment, because that's likely how it's intended!

This is like asking how to make a small, fluffy puppy look intimidating. Anything you do to it will only serve to make it more comical, particularly to the opposite sex. Stop being so insecure and enjoy your freaking laptop! If someone says its cute, just say, "Yeah, it is, thanks!"





Oh, and if you really need a line, next time someone says its cute, respond with, "Yeah, it's a 10-incher, just like my cock." Problem solved!

Re:Obligatory Serious Answer (1)

PhotoJim (813785) | about 5 years ago | (#27393835)

Agreed. The logical followthrough is to use a large laptop because that would be more manly... and that defeats the purpose. White may not be the most manly colour (my Aspire One is deep blue) but the size is the issue to me. Unless it's pink I don't think it really matters. (Women can have pink machines if they want, but it would seem weird to me for a man to use one.) My AA1 is cute. I embrace it. It's the laptop that's so tiny I take it everywhere, in my manpurse. I mean my laptop bag. Of course. Yep.

Re:Obligatory Serious Answer (1)

pitchpipe (708843) | about 5 years ago | (#27393887)

So how can I make my netbook more manly, or at least have some witty line to respond to the their comments?

Just tell them that you're gay, which may or may not be true.

Re:Obligatory Serious Answer (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 5 years ago | (#27394125)

Actually, that is a great way to get women.
What a sick world we live in...

Re:Obligatory Serious Answer (1)

java killed the dino (935800) | about 5 years ago | (#27394159)

Nah, I am gay -- and I have a 9" netbook. A 10" netbook is a sure sign of manliness over my tiny "laptop". I'm sure the ladies will understand if he explains that 10" is the line between the genders.

Exactly, women love cute and adoreable. (5, Insightful)

0100010001010011 (652467) | about 5 years ago | (#27393901)

Women are coming up to you, in public, and complimenting your laptop and you're pissed because the language they're using is cute and adorable? Were you raised in a barn?

And the 'attention you want' is ANY. Just because you lack the social skills to turn a 'wow that laptop is cute' into a 'hey would you like to have dinner' doesn't mean some Metallica Stickers are going to fix it.

I was with my Dad and his dog and my Girlfriend at a rugby tournament this weekend. Every single woman that walked pass came up and started petting the dog. I told my girlfriend next year she wasn't invited and I was just going to bring the dog.

Re:Exactly, women love cute and adoreable. (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 5 years ago | (#27394081)

I told my girlfriend next year she wasn't invited and I was just going to bring the dog.

Depending on how serious this remark sounded, you probably won't have to worry her wanting to do much of anything with you next year.

P.S. How's this for situationally irony, my prove-you're-human-word for this post was "trapped".

Re:Exactly, women love cute and adoreable. (1)

0100010001010011 (652467) | about 5 years ago | (#27394217)

It was said facetiously. She laughed and made a comment back. Mainly because after the nth girl that came over

Re:Exactly, women love cute and adoreable. (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 5 years ago | (#27394091)

way to manage to work the term girlfriend into your post. This is /. right? You know that was a total lie.

Re:Exactly, women love cute and adoreable. (5, Funny)

eln (21727) | about 5 years ago | (#27394155)

I told my girlfriend next year she wasn't invited and I was just going to bring the dog.

So how long was it before you regained consciousness?

Re:Exactly, women love cute and adoreable. (-1, Flamebait)

euxneks (516538) | about 5 years ago | (#27394193)

I was with my Dad and his dog and my Girlfriend at a rugby tournament this weekend. Every single woman that walked pass came up and started petting the dog. I told my girlfriend next year she wasn't invited and I was just going to bring the dog.

You sir are a dick. Mainly because you claim to have a girlfriend and then effectively tell her you're going to cheat on her to her face - unless that was in jest, in which case that was still a dickhead thing to do.

Re:Exactly, women love cute and adoreable. (4, Funny)

0100010001010011 (652467) | about 5 years ago | (#27394243)

Dear lord, yes I said it 100% seriously. Because in all my relationships a good sense of humor sucks. If I could date a vulcan I would.

Re:Obligatory Serious Answer (1)

Artraze (600366) | about 5 years ago | (#27393919)

From the OP: "the kind of cute that says they think I have a different presence than I actually want to portray"

The concern seems to be less for his masculinity, and more for his appearance. One can be entirely unconcerned with what other people think about them, but still care about how others _react_ to them. In other words, you may not care if someone doesn't think you're masculine, but care very much if they think you're too 'cute' and therefore decide not to buy what you're selling.

Yes, humor and pride are manly. (1, Troll)

Erris (531066) | about 5 years ago | (#27393993)

The mod needs to be in his head. A laptop won't change his presence/personality. Insecurity over mistaken perception ... why? Now for some mods that I've done.

Aluminum up armoring is a practical mod. You can use cheap flashing aluminum and silicone type adhesives to make a durable, tough and relatively light weight cover for easily scratched or soiled plastic. If your plastic is hard enough and in good shape, you don't need this.

Support GNU with stickers. GNU is good for you.

Re:Obligatory Serious Answer (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 5 years ago | (#27394093)

Not many people know this, but women are really not impressed by size. It is the way you swing it round your neck that impresses them.

Re:Obligatory Serious Answer Stickers... (2, Funny)

davidsyes (765062) | about 5 years ago | (#27394231)

Here are some stickers to apply:

Flipper
Bambi
Willy (Free Willy)
An Aboriginal
Creech
Gollum
Creature from the Black Lagoon

Tell the women these were your animal forms in past life times. Tell her you're a sexual expert in all fathoms, climes, caves, and skies. Now that you are human, you're entitled to make all sorts of squirmy noises in bed but that she should not be unduly alarmed. If she's not impressed, add more animal signs...

Ummm... (5, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | about 5 years ago | (#27393815)

Add a dongle?

Speed stripes (1)

Rakshasa Taisab (244699) | about 5 years ago | (#27393817)

Your dignity has been saved.

Make sure they're flame colored, not the emo black ones nor the metrosexual yellow.

Re:Speed stripes (1)

Nutria (679911) | about 5 years ago | (#27393995)

Your dignity has been saved.

Rice Burners (no, not Kawasaki riders, but the "other" rice burners) have no dignity.

Dignity: maybe. Scoring: no. (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 5 years ago | (#27393843)

"Well, I didn't buy it to compensate for anything else."

You can't. (1)

Beelzebud (1361137) | about 5 years ago | (#27393855)

A netbook will never be manly. Unless it has a fold out blade, scissors, tweezers, awl, saw, a length of fishing string and a couple of waterproof matches in a tiny hidden compartment.

Re:You can't. (2, Funny)

Sponge Bath (413667) | about 5 years ago | (#27394147)

Your list of netbook features reminds me of the machine Paul Atreides used for combat training.
Even if your netbook is lacking in manly stature, mentioning the above reference will tell her what kind of guy you really are.

Put a manly statement on it (1)

jperl (1453911) | about 5 years ago | (#27393859)

You should put a slogan on it which says something like "pure testosterone".

OMG!!! PONEIS!!! (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 5 years ago | (#27393867)

Liking Unicorns doesn't make me gay, does it?

The answer (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 5 years ago | (#27393871)

Deal with your own inner insecurities, they're the root of your problem

Too late now (4, Informative)

Koivuniemi (1384543) | about 5 years ago | (#27393875)

Next time you should buy a small-sized Thinkpad. I bought a used x31 (12") for half the price of a netbook. I'm still finding new stuff on it (like a reading light and a microphone), the performance is comparable to a netbook, and you really can not find a manlier laptop on the planet.

Re:Too late now (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 5 years ago | (#27393991)

Actually, an X31 is about twice as fast as most of the Netbooks, and that's even with the 1.4 Ghz low end processor in the X31. You get up to the 2.0 Dothan, and it's quite a bit faster than a netbook (unless you're talking about a netbook with a ssd...)

Re:Too late now (0, Offtopic)

EvilIdler (21087) | about 5 years ago | (#27394107)

Or buy a 13" Macbook. Women might still want to look at it. Unfortunately, so might men.

Show them the display (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | about 5 years ago | (#27393879)

as it boots into OS X

Here's how (5, Funny)

JustNiz (692889) | about 5 years ago | (#27393883)

Run Linux on it, not windows.

Re:Here's how (1)

cwike (1481913) | about 5 years ago | (#27394203)

If people saw Tux when he starts up, imagine their response? Ohhh, cute laptop.Ohhh, cute penguin

Really? (5, Informative)

Hatta (162192) | about 5 years ago | (#27393889)

Not the good kind of cute that will get me the attention I want though, the kind of cute that says they think I have a different presence than I actually want to portray.

Really? Do the women who compliment your netbook immediately ask if you're gay or something? Are you sure it's not all in your head?

Either way, the conversation is started. If they suspect you're gay at least that's disarming, and they'll figure it out eventually.

Maybe... (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | about 5 years ago | (#27393895)

Maybe they are saying it because they look at YOU and think you are gay. Then, in hopes of making a new shopping companion, their eyes wander frantically for something to strike up a conversation about and they see your manly netbook, and they call it cute out of courtesy. Maybe...

Flames, you need speed strips. (4, Funny)

Chyeld (713439) | about 5 years ago | (#27393911)

And some neon light trim for the edges.

Hydrolics, press a button and the laptop starts trying to hump the your desk.

Replace the fan with a smaller diameter one with higher RPM, get the jet engine noise when it kicks in.

Bling, use a solid gold chain to keep it closed.

Don't shave, wear a mussed up t-shirt. And add scorch marks to the plastic exterior.

Install Gentoo on it (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 5 years ago | (#27393921)

There isn't anything more manly than a laptop with Gentoo on it (except maybe a Honda Accord with $30,000 dollars worth of modifications)

Two choices (1)

Dean Edmonds (189342) | about 5 years ago | (#27393925)

If you want to seem more manly, respond with, "Its the only computer I could find which was shorter than my dick."

Or you could just get over yourself and stop worrying about looking "manly".

Nope (5, Funny)

symes (835608) | about 5 years ago | (#27393927)

Why on earth would you want to make your netbook more manly? You've already lured them in - so pounce! Buy them a skinny mocha chino latte, gaze into their eyes and suggest 10 inches is enough for most people.

10 inch netbook (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 5 years ago | (#27393929)

"big enough to use both hands"

seriously. Any smaller than that and it's too small to touch type on. Of course "big enough to use both hands" won't score any points with the ladies, while it may be big enough it is clear you will be too busy by yourself to put it to any good use.

Some suggestions: (5, Funny)

eln (21727) | about 5 years ago | (#27393937)

* Cover it with metal spikes and skulls.
* Tie it to the front grill of a Hummer.
* Convert it into an ammo clip for an Uzi.
* Build a beer helmet around it and wear it on your head
* Program it to make fart noises every time your finger is pulled. With a name like "wind", you could even pretend it came that way from the factory.
* Put an Oakland Raiders logo on it.
* Tie it to the back of a pit bull with a chain collar.
* Put it down your pants for some "natural male enhancement".
* Tie it to your stomach (under your shirt), and tell woman to punch it so they can feel how hard your "abs" are.
* Keep it open and playing a heavy metal video nonstop at full volume. Make sure there are plenty of half naked women being objectified in it.
* Tell the girls you have a small notebook because you have no reason to compensate for anything else.

Really, the possibilities are endless.

Re:Some suggestions: (1)

Nutria (679911) | about 5 years ago | (#27394215)

Tell the girls you have a small notebook because you have no reason to compensate for anything else.

That is actually a good idea. Kinda hard to work into a conversation, though.

The first step... (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 5 years ago | (#27393939)

...would have been _not_ to buy in white...

Paint it. (1)

Tetsujin (103070) | about 5 years ago | (#27393941)

Your first mistake was buying a white computer. :D

But I would say, if you want to change how people see this computer, paint it. Come up with some color scheme you like, and change the color of the machine. There's no aspect of your own computer that you cannot change.

Gentoo Linux (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 5 years ago | (#27393947)

Command line, black background, green font, vi

It doesn't get less cute.

Cute = Stupid (1)

DavidR1991 (1047748) | about 5 years ago | (#27393949)

In a lot of cases, cute is interchangeable with stupid or impractical looking. A netbook that size is going to look impractical (and hence cute or whimsical in size) for a long time to come, until they become commonplace everywhere

So either accept that your MSI is 'cute', or buy a bigger more serious looking netbook (i.e. a larger one that looks to be more practical / less whimsical). I think tiny netbooks are the equivalent of a tiny piano (+pianist) for the uninitiated: They look stupid.

What? (2, Insightful)

castorvx (1424163) | about 5 years ago | (#27393959)

It's a good thing. Could be worse. At least they're talking to you.

They could be made aware of the fact that you go by the alias BASEMENTMAN.

Re:What? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 5 years ago | (#27394245)

They could be made aware of the fact that you go by the alias BASEMENTMAN.

so true... /me finds basementman and tattoos alias to forehead...

Garbage can. Problem Solved! (1)

NickyGotz22 (1427691) | about 5 years ago | (#27393969)

There is no way to make it manly. Sorry buddy. Just sit home alone and admiring your pretty new unit. You can use that time to practice saying the phrase "It may be tiny but... it also leave you unsatisfied and jealous of bigger flashier versions." all while stifling the on coming tears... poor lil feller... never saw it coming.

Paint it (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 5 years ago | (#27393971)

Paint it black.

At least it is not pink.

Is it important (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 5 years ago | (#27393985)

I am quite suprised to learn that someone who reads, let alone utilizes slashdot would be concerned about their "image". To be quite honest I would only panic if it had substandard software installed.

Wood! (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 5 years ago | (#27394003)

Replace the bezel with wood!

Walnut is preferred.

I tell you wood is the way to go.

Some brilliant suggestions (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 5 years ago | (#27394023)

  1. Buy several dildos and stick them on the laptop.
  2. Crush glass beer bottles and glue the small pieces on the casing.
  3. Get several kitchen knives and stick them around the monitor with the knives pointing at your face,
  4. Get the book "Alphabet of Manliness" and weld it to the casing
  5. Send it to Orange County Choppers and have it turned into a chopper
  6. Throw away your sissy laptop and lug around a mainframe

Step One... (1)

GweeDo (127172) | about 5 years ago | (#27394031)

Realize that the size of your penis has nothing to do with the size of your Netbook. Really...this is what people worry about?

Buy big external battery (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 5 years ago | (#27394033)

One that can last all night long without going limp. And it is better if it makes you laptop look like it grew some big balls. Can't go manlier than that ...

Impossible (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 5 years ago | (#27394035)

Answer: YOU CAN'T!

Why? Because you have the equivalent of "Baby's first laptop". I'll never understand why grown up geeks think having something thats basically made for a child makes them look cool...

My Netbook... (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 5 years ago | (#27394039)

My netbook is much bigger than yours,
My netbook can walk right through the door
With a feeling so pure..
It's got you screaming for more.

Its not... (1)

aceofspades1217 (1267996) | about 5 years ago | (#27394047)

the speed or size but its you use it.
or
Yea its cute...just like you honey (brace yourself for a potential slap xD)

PS: No you cannot make your adorable, cute, and tiny little laptop manly.

Attach a condom to the fan (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 5 years ago | (#27394055)

This should make for a good masculine symbol..

Especially when you start the laptop ...

Manly? (5, Insightful)

Jangchub (1139089) | about 5 years ago | (#27394077)

Huxley: "An intellectual is a person who has discovered something more interesting than sex." Being "manly" in the sense I get from the summary is something only troglodytes admire. I would find more pressing things to stress over. And no, I don't have a sense of humor, so bugger off.

There's this dog t-shirt ... (4, Interesting)

Qbertino (265505) | about 5 years ago | (#27394095)

... you can put the same on your White Wind. Go to a copyshop that also has those cut-plotters and get a set of decal lettering cut out in black saying "I'm his new Netbook and help him pick up chicks." That should fix both the 'manly' and 'whitty reply' part in one stroke. And it's quite funny aswell.

Rhino Liner (1)

wowbagger (69688) | about 5 years ago | (#27394099)

Take it to your local Rhino Liner shop, and have them cover it with the same stuff they use for pickup truck bed liners.

While the stuff is still curing, stick a chrome "sitting naked lady" from a mudflap on it.

The correct response is. (1)

LWATCDR (28044) | about 5 years ago | (#27394115)

Thank you.
As to how to have your netbook make you look more like a man.
Not going to happen. The fact that you feel the need to make your netbook more manly means that the problem isn't the netbook.
You have some issues to work out and they have nothing to do with your netbook.
Probably the most superficial solution would be to start working out but even that doesn't address the real issue.
I wish that I could honestly say that I care that your netbook looks too wimpy but frankly nobody should care at all including you.
If you are still a teenager all I can say is you will probably out grow this.

Stencil a Pink Teddybear on it (4, Funny)

Bonker (243350) | about 5 years ago | (#27394117)

From the Badass Manly Anime Reviewer:

This guy's name is Honey. It's one of those things were like, the guy is so fuckin' badass that he gives himself a really pussy name, so that when people are like "hey pussy, nice pussy name", he fuckin' does a backflip and breaks your neck. They call him a "lolishota". I don't know what that is, but I think it's some kinda martial art like Hokuto Shinkey because this kid's a fuckin' ninja or some shit. Matter of fact? Dude check this shit out. There's this one part where this kid is all like TAAAAAAAAARZAAAAAAAAAN an he totally fuckin' kicks the shit out of some Jin-Roh-lookin' motherfuckers. He's totally harsh.

Are you a hunk? (1)

troll8901 (1397145) | about 5 years ago | (#27394121)

I have a vivid mental image of you, a big bulky man with black leather jacket, seated at a fast food outlet table, alone, hunching over the tiny netbook, looking down on the screen intensely, and typing quickly. Is that correct?

PhotoJim is correct: stickers will quickly convey another image of you. Or I'd suggest these words instead: "No, I will NOT fix your computer", or "Stare at me for 5 seconds, and you're DEAD".

Another method is to change your posture slightly. Push the netbook away a bit, tilt your chin up slightly, and made a very slight nasty expression on your face. It's uncomfortable, but people are sensitive to body and face, and seeing you like that may just drive a little shiver down their spines.

Anyway, how I envy you. I use my white 9" Eee (no pink in stock) outdoors almost everyday, and not a single woman (or man) has ever approached me.

Cover it with scary hack/phreak stickers (1)

brainchill (611679) | about 5 years ago | (#27394139)

Spend some time on Jinx.com or something and find some scary looking hack/phreak stickers ... you'll look hardcore and remember the size to goodness ration is inversely proportional when you are talking about geek gadgets.

you define you, not a piece of plastic (1)

littlesparrow (1388279) | about 5 years ago | (#27394151)

manliness is not defined by objects, but by attitude and character.

skulls, heavy metal stickers, sports cars, and vulgar one-liners are all expressions of an attitude.
you have to decide what being a 'man' means to you.

from there, confidence is really your best accessory.

Laser Etching (1)

Greyfox (87712) | about 5 years ago | (#27394165)

Laser etch a wang on the cover the entire length of the notebook. If anyone asks what the hell that is, deadpan "It's a wang computer." That should put an end to those pesky compliments...

Brick (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 5 years ago | (#27394175)

Super glue a brick to it. Bricks are so, so manly. As is super glue.

Stickers? (1)

Dunkirk (238653) | about 5 years ago | (#27394177)

I just bought an Asus 1000. (Love it! Throw away the Xandros nonsense, though, and install Ubuntu Netbook Reboot.) Newegg didn't offer anything but basic black and white, but when it showed up, I saw that the box clearly had some other colors, and even some graphics on some of them. That would have been nice. Maybe I could get a replacement cover, but I don't want to risk breaking something. You might not be that risk-averse.

The ladies in my office have called it "cute," and my buddies have called the portable DVD player bag I got to carry it a "man purse." So I was thinking much the same thing about trying to "cool" it up. I was tending to think about stickers, but there's no much space on there, and I worry about removing them later.

I was checking out the standard stuff from J!NX and ThinkGeek, but I've also seen a couple of nice Fallout-related things in other places. I'm still deciding. Maybe some buttons for the bag's strap would be cool too.

Easy. paint it camo or flat black (1)

slashhax0r (579213) | about 5 years ago | (#27394183)

Simple, paint or skin it in camo or flat black. Put some fake bullet hole stickers on it too.

It works out here... (1)

gers0667 (459800) | about 5 years ago | (#27394209)

I see people hang a pair of plastic testicles from the back of their trucks.

That might man your netbook up a bit.

Backlit keyboard (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 5 years ago | (#27394213)

How about a nice blue glow coming from underneath your keys?

Brushed aluminum IS manly (1)

JurassicFido (1306625) | about 5 years ago | (#27394225)

I have the HP2133, which is brushed aluminum. I don't get too many of those "awww..." comments. It's mostly, "Hmmm...that's small. What can it do?" When I reply, "Whatever I need it to," the response is usally, "Wow!" So I recommend dipping it in aluminum and then getting the steel wool after it. Good luck! (no liability assumed from damage to your netbook, notebook, or other property resulting from following the above facetious advice) [-:
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